The Four Heroes:
A pointless first fanfic designed to take up space. Even crazed villains have adventures before they become evil, you know.
Hamlord: Okay now for the disclaimer. Eggnogg, do the disclaimer.
Eggnogg: Why me! This is in direct violation of my rights, and as such it is and illegal act and you are not going to get away with this…… yada yada yada
Hamlord: Wrong. As you must have failed to notice… we are outside of the US. And that is why…ARGHstupid unconfigurable foreign language Word systems! But that is besides the point. As I was saying… outside of the country, you have no jurisdiction. HA! Also this in infringement of legal matter no. 457.89.5324.54556.8676.5258.
Eggnogg: OK! Just no more legal lectures!
Hamlord does not own ToS or ME or Sir Auron… and not Microsoft either.
Hamlord: Right. Now we have to get to the meat and eggs…
Eggnogg: WHAT!
Hamlord: Eh, I meant potatoes. Enjoy the fic!
2 Summon Spirits and a Kidnapping!
"JUDGMENT!" Mithos yelled.
"Impressive. I have seen your power and shall lend you mine." said Undine.
The summon spirit was now his to use. But naturally, Mithos was too curious for his own good.
"Hey Undine."
"Yes, pact maker?"
"What's in the jug?" Mithos said, pointing at the jug.
"What?"
"What's in the jug?"
"What?"
"What's in the jug?"
"Mind your own beeswax." The Summon spirit turned to leave.
"Hey lemme see the jug! Wow, it looks really sturdy."
As he said this, he tapped the jug… a little too hard.
SMASH!
"Hey! It's a…photo of Orlando Bloom! Ok, now I know, I'm off! "
Mithos ran as fast as his scrawny little legs could carry him. Which, as fast as that may have been, was DEFINITELY not fast enough.
"TIDAL WAVE!"
Mithos struggled in vain as he fought the whirlpool. The whirlpool carried him far away…and through the land of more smarter people and blue dung beetles(inside joke)… and right into Kratos, Martel, and Yuan. Mithos could see smirks on their faces.
"What!" he cried indignantly. "It's not my fault I got washed up here, is it?"
Kratos shook his head. "Of course it's your fault. And by the way, are you going to get your next Summon Spirit or not?"
"Anything's better than Undine," Mithos grumbled.
"Don't count on it."
And then the new Summon Spirit appeared in a flash of light, effectively blinding Kratos.
Mithos looked up. What he saw was a punk in a Mohawk, dancing MJ.
"A-B-C…Easy as 1-2-3… Master Maxwell is IN DA HOUSE!
…who are you?"
"I am Mithos, and thou shaltst know that I have comest today to make a pac.."
"Hey, the pact thing gets old after a while. Why don't you just say you need my help?"
Mithos thought for a moment. rotate sun & moon
"I got it! Ok bub you had better get down and listen to me now or I will give you a Greek mythological explanation as to why the left hand is unlucky. I already prepared the scythe and everything!"
Maxwell thought for three moments. rotate sun and moon three times
"Ok, whatever. I don't care since you will become an evil warlord and abandon us while working on a project of lifeless beings. I hope."
"Very well. Then it is decided." Mithos held out his hand.
"cough unconditional pain-enforced surrender cough" said Maxwell as they shook.
In the back, Yuan was fiddling with a stain on his designer cape. Kratos was applying more hair gel. And Martel was…well who knows what she was doing with that poor caterpillar.
The strangest thing was, though… no one seemed to care that he had successfully completed his second summon spirit pact (which WAS strange…only to him).
"HELLO! I JUST GOT A SECOND PACT!" cricket "Fine. Hey sis, I got a second pact!"
And that was when Martel fell over, dead.
"HOLY CRAP! MARTEL!"
After examining the dead body, Kratos said, "Relax, Martel is still alive... I hope. This is just a fake. What are you worrying about?"
"Well," Yuan interjected, " that COULD MEAN the real Martel is MISSING!"
"Wait, there is a note!" Mithos exclaimed.
He read it: "'To the crew:
If you ever want to see Martel again' okay he crossed that out…'To the pitiful fools who are reading this note: I have Martel. If you ever want to see her' okay he crossed this out too!
'Mithos:
You are stupid. I was not kidnapped. Even if I was, I would NOT be in Heimdall. Do not come looking for me, or else there will be annoying salesclerks after your every step. Also, someone call Sir Auron(NOT AURION!) will attack you.
Signed, Martel
PS: Kratos, I have your hair gel, and Yuan, I have your patching kit. Buy yourself a new cape, to replace the stupid one you have now."
"Would it KILL to just use another piece of paper to make a different draft? This is so grammatically improper and undignified." said Kratos, after examining it a second time.
Mithos thought for a moment (again. You know the drill. Rotate sun and moon.)
"Well, this calls for…Grammer Lady™! The number one source of all 'grammer', and this is even the 567th edition!" called Mithos.
"She didn't mean it, Capey! I'll never abandon you! And I'll never succumb to the evil of Grammer!" shouted Yuan, all the while snuggling his cape.
That's when Mithos, Kratos, and Yuan suddenly fell into the darkness and knew no more.
When they woke up, they were swiftly knocked out again.
So that's it! Short, HUH! Wait till next chapter for news of our 3 heroes! Please review, this is my first fic after all.
…and no flames, please. If you flame, you will be haunted at Christmas for the rest of your life.
And yes, I DO hate MJ.