Chapter Two, Released just in time for the holidays.

Hamlord: Okay, now it is time for the disclaimer. As our previous announcer Eggnogg was unfortunately consumed, we have invited the world-famous…SSPNISP!

(super stick person's nemesis Incredible stick person).

SSPNISP: Fear me! For I am SSPNISP, and I will do this disclaimer with JUSTICE and GLORY! Also I like cucumbers, hate pickles, want to SMITE SSP (because he's my nemesis and blah), and am only doing this disclaimer because-

painful sounds are heard

Because Hamlord is cool and doing a disclaimer is also cool.

Hamlord: Well! Hurry up and do the damn disclaimer! Or else...

SSPNISP: Okay. Hamlord DOES NOT own Tales of Symphonia. He WOULD like to own A COPY of Tales of the Abyss when it is released. Also, in direct violation of the emancipation proclamation, he owns me.

Hamlord: I've already said, as long as we are out of the US, you have no legal jurisdiction.

SSPNISP: Shut up.

Chapter 2: Kratos gets (partially) Brainwashed

Kratos woke up in a dank and dusty PERFUME DEPARTMENT! Seeing as he did he immediately was knocked out by the smell of "Bonjour Ambulavi et Stultussimmi Sum Cow"!

He woke up 5345678433 (yes, random number) times like this until he was moved somewhere else.

Kratos woke up… he was bound and gagged. "Holy Protozoan Manure…where am I?"

A guard started. "Hey Lord Ush Treb the Foolish! The geeky nerdy prisoner hath awakened andis ready for experimentation with the u-no-vut!"

Soon a stupid looking man with freakishly long hair and dressed in a Cliched Stereotype Suit came in. As soon as he saw Kratos awake, he took out what looked like a normal tape player.

He placed it next to Kratos, who could only watch in horror as he inserted something called'complete obedience slave brainwashing' into it. The man took a moment to make a clichéd stereotype villain gloat.

"LOLZ! When this tape is done, the mighty Kratos Aurion will be my slave and do everything I tell him! LOL!" he laughed, walking far, far, away.

The tape began to play. "MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The laugh lasted for 24 hours. The only part of the content he heard before he fell asleep

(yes, he can sleep, he's not an angel yet), were the words…"blame your fate…."

Kratos woke up 24 hours later.

Kratos felt himself being unchained. The "Great Lord Ush Treb" was standing over him. The long haired FREAK said:

"FOOLISH SLAVE! Obey me and grab your equipment! Which includes this new magical sword with smites people!"

Kratos obeyed without question.

Next the Great FREAK said: "Now obey me and go kill that kitty over there."

Sure enough, there was a kitty tied to the wall. Kratos moved over to it, and…he took his new sword and…

DUN DUN DUN!

…he set it free! joy to little kitties!

"HEYWHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!" shouted Bert…uh I meant Treb.

Kratos then swiftly turn around, drew his sword, and proceeded in an ATTEMPT to remove Treb of the ability of reproduction. UNFORTUNATELY, Treb… was a girl!

So Kratos did the next best thing…he SLICED OFF ALL OF BERT'S HAIR! …um…I mean Treb.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY HAIR! MY PRECIOUS HAIR! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! HOW COULD YOU DO SOMETHING SO BARBARIC! NOOOOOOOO!"

At this point Kratos got annoyed and as such decapitated him.

"Noooooooooo…" Bert's head said.

And said Kratos…"Blame your fate."

Heh..short huh! Please review! MUST…HAVE…REVIEWS!