I heard the shattering of glass and could smell the strong aroma of premium Hawaiian blend coffee, oh shit! I knew that it was Greg standing there before I jumped out of Nick's arms as fast as possible. I sheepishly glance at Greg and see him staring at Nick and me with an open mouth and extremely wide eyes.
I snuck behind Nick, whose body language was possessively guarding me. I look like a small child hiding behind a father's leg at a social event. I look at the two men and study their expressions, Greg is looking at Nick with a guilt-inducing gaze, no, he's looking through Nick at me. Nick, on the other hand, is completely oblivious and doesn't realize the tension. After what seemed like an eternity I finally broke the silence.
"I-I'm so sorry Greg-gee," Greggy? What the fuck am I thinking! And why the hell did I apologize? God what am I going to say? 'Oh sorry my secret boyfriend's tongue was shoved down my throat, and you walked in on it…AT WORK!'
Well apparently I'm not the only one who though I made an ass of myself because Nick just shot me the biggest 'What the Fuck?' expression my way. Obviously Nick doesn't think I should be apologizing and is extremely confused.
"Hey G-Dawg," How could Nick be so nonchalant about this! And why is he using that ridiculous nickname? Greg Sanders and ghetto terminology DON'T MIX! God, sometimes I just want strangle Nick for being so stupid. Like today, we came in together after we slept, well actually we didn't sleep very much, at my house and he still can't keep it in his fucking pants at work. If Grissom would have walked in instead of Greg I would have been willing to hop into a meat grinder rather than face the wrath of Bug Man. Speaking of Greg, I just realized he's been starring at Nick and I for several minutes now…
"Greg?" My voice came out timid, there was no hiding my guilt. I'm pretty sure Nick finally realized Greg has been keeping a hard gaze on my guilt ridden face because his arm just wrapped around my waist fairly tight. I didn't see him as being the jealous type, he really is pissing me off now.
"Earth to Greggo!" Nick finally spoke a little to forcefully for my taste.
Poor Greg is still just standing there and won't stop staring into me.
"Ugh yeah…" he finally manage to squeak something out before he quickly rushed out. I knew I had to go talk to him.
As soon as the locker room door slammed shut I turned to Nick, "I need to go find Greg and apologize." I felt so bad for poor Greg, I mean that wasn't exactly the best way to tell him about my relationship with Nick.
Anger and jealousy flashed in Nick's eyes, "Sara, you don't have to apologize. There is nothing wrong with us!"
"Nothing wrong! You were practically devouring me against the lockers AT WORK! What, last night wasn't enough? God! I guess your ex-frat boy nymphomaniac days aren't over!" I immediately regretted what I said as soon as the words left my mouth.
Nick's fists tightened in anger as he stared me in the eyes. I don't think I've ever been afraid of Nick before that moment. "Nymphomaniac? Jesus Sara! What the hell is wrong with you? We've been dating for 6 months now! Don't you think it's time to come clean?"
Unfortunately I knew he was right, but of course it had been my idea to keep "us" a secret. I claimed that I didn't want to be the center of water-cooler gossip, but the truth is there's always been something looming over me, like a fat elephant in the room. I subconsciously thought if we admitted out relationship, it could move further and I know I can't handle that right now.
I still didn't want to lose so I muttered, "We've actually been dating for 3 months."
I know this pushed Nick over the edge because when I attempted to scurry over the broken glass in search of Greg, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to his face.
He leaned in and whispered angrily in my ear, "3 months Sar? We've been sleeping together for 6 months. So I don't care what you want to call it."
I yanked myself from his grip and spat back, "It was comfort sex, that's all it was…" I know I was lying to myself and hurt him, but I didn't care at that point.
I stormed out of the locker room without looking back, because if I did, I would have gotten a dose of guilt that I deserved.
My relationship with Nick was complicated…after he was released from the hospital about 6 months ago, just after the accident, I felt awful. I felt guilty that I didn't make an extra effort to spend time with him after Ecklie broke up the team. He was my first friend in Vegas, I could barely get along with anyone else. I felt like it was a duty of mine to make sure he was okay. I know Nick's great at pretending he's fine with everything when he's tearing up inside. I do the same exact thing every time I had to work a case involving rape. I had been hanging out with him and trying to get him to open up about everything. The more I talked to Nick the more I became attracted to him. We had always had an obvious attraction to each other, but never dared act on it.
One night he came over to have dinner and talk, but after a few too many glasses of Merlot things quickly escalated. The next morning after we woke up we talked and decided we both couldn't handle real relationships. We said we wouldn't ever sleep together again, but it seemed like every time we saw each other, all bets were off. After about 3 months of casual sex, Nick decided he was ready and wanted a relationship. The last six month have been amazing, I'm not going to deny it. This is the best and longest relationship I've ever been in. I kind of have always known in the back of my mind that Nick and I would end up dating, we flirted shamelessly for four years and never did anything about it.
That's probably why I feel so guilty. Nick has been nothing but amazing to me during this. That being said, I can't figure out why I know I don't truly love him. I try to convince myself I do, but I know deep down something or someone was in the way. I still can't figure out who that someone is.
I approached the door that led to the ceiling and took a breath. I knew he was up there. He always sits on the roof and plays his guitar when he was stressed. I silently opened the door and walked toward Greg, he was playing his acoustic in a lawn chair he had brought up there a long time ago. I walked up to him and took a seat across from him. He noted my presence and immediately stopped playing.
"Hey Sar," his voice was soft and timid.
"Greg," I sighed. "I'm sorry you had to see that."
"Sar, it's okay. I-I mean it's really not any of my business." I could see the sadness in his face and it was tearing me up. Greg has always been so sweet to me.
I cupped Greg's face with my hand and stared into his eyes, "Greg, it is your business, you're my best friend," I could see him shift uncomfortably when I touched his face.
I didn't realize he would be this hurt by the news.
"Sar, it's really okay, I mean-I just-I just don't understand why you didn't tell me earlier. I thought we were best friends…." I could hear the trepidation seething out in his voice and it was only making me more mad at myself.
"Greg," I sighed. "We are best friends, I mean you're the sweetest person I've ever known. We-we didn't tell anyone, Nick didn't even tell Warrick." I searched his eyes for a response and saw a hint of a relieved smile. He simply shook his head and smiled at me.
Greg started to play his worn out acoustic and we simply looked into each others eyes and smiled. This time I feel something different. I can't place it, but it's something unfamiliar, in a good way. My heart skips a beat a little when he smiles with his eyes at me.
Oh.my.GOD. I love Greg! How could this happen! It snuck up from no where! I'm trying my hardest to not let my shock show as he looks at me.
I don't know--
I quickly avert my gaze to the person who just cleared their throat loudly, obviously for my attention.
Oh.Shit. It's Nick. I knew I heard a twang in that cough. Oh God, he's just standing there staring at Greg and I. This is like some sort of fucked up irony and déjà vu. Except now Nick's in Greg's shoes.
Oh God, I have some explaining to do…