Sorry for not updating for a long time. I was kind of really sick and went to the Emergency Room a few weeks ago and I've been resting since. XD
Um, updates will be slow from this point on, but I'll do my best. Happy new year everyone!
Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine. Now I've made myself sad.
- - - -
Naruto grimly jumped through the trees, an intense look of concentration locked his face into a serious frown. This wasn't supposed to happen at all! They were supposed to work as a team to get the bells from the sensei and ba-boom! Instant promotion to genin level. With the new twist that Itachi had added, teamwork was not possible. In the end, one of them was going to fail no matter what.
No matter at what angle Naruto had tried to approach this aspect from; he met a dead end. If he got only one of his teammates to help him, the other would fail and there was no way the three-man team would pass with only two members active.
However, without backup, there was no way he would be able to get the bells alone from Itachi. He alone could pass by snitching one from Sasuke or Sakura, but what good would that do?
Calm down . . . first find Sakura-chan and Sasuke. . . then come up with a plan. . . together. Ninja who don't help their comrades are worse then trash . . . The blonde's eyes narrowed as he strained to hear anything that would signify his team's presence.
"Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!" Sasuke suddenly yelled as he ambushed the blonde, spiting out fire from his mouth. The Uchiha cursed as the target Naruto had been replaced with a log and smoke. "Damn! Where is he now?" Dark eyes darted around his surroundings, his body tense with anticipation.
Naruto leapt out of his hiding place and punched his cousin as he snarled, "Just what the HELL are you thinking, bastard!" He watched Sasuke wipe the blood that trickled down his chin with he back of his hand. "You think that taking my bell's gonna pass all of us as a frick'n TEAM! You dumbass!"
Sasuke bristled in anger as he charged Naruto retorting, "I said I was going after you, dobe!" The dark-haired teen ducked and sharply kicked Naruto backwards, leaping into the air once more. "Katon: Housenka no Jutsu!" Shots of fire missed their mark as Naruto crossed his index fingers together and performed his trademark technique.
"Kage bunshin no jutsu!" Multiple copies of himself tackled the dark-haired teen, only to be blown back with a series of taijutsu combo's that Naruto had never even seen before. As much as he hated to admit it, Taijutsu wasn't exactly his area of forte.
"Hn. . ." Apparently smugness was a generic trait shared by both Uchiha siblings as Sasuke haughtily smirked to himself. "You still are weaker then me . . . Baka . . . Just give up and. . ."
"Never!" Naruto's eyes ablaze with determination glared angrily into a pool of black. "I will never give up! If you want to pass this exam so badly, then you'll have to pry this bell out of my fingers, bastard!" Holding up a kunai, the blonde let the cool metal surface reflect both of their reflections- endless blue met dark onyx.
Within the clearing, a whirl of heated emotions clashed like a thunderstorm. Neither of the two was willing to give in. Naruto gripped his weapon tighter, as Sasuke shifted restlessly.
The dark haired ninja fidgeted anxiously, beating the crap out of Naruto was too much trouble. He would probably have to go trough hell to finally stop the other boy dead in his tracks, and even then the number one surprising ninja in the village would have something planned out for him. It was something that he didn't have the time for. He carefully weighed out the possibilities, eventually decided that some sacrifices were worth it.
"Feh, who'd want to beat up someone like you? You're too pathetic- I'm going after Aniki. . ." Sasuke snorted, straightening his back. His pale features twisted into a smirk, as he walked off into the brush. The blonde bristled in anger, although he did not rise to the challenge.
"BASTARD! HOPE ITACHI GIVES YOU THE THOUSAND YEARS OF PAIN NO JUTSU INSTEAD!" Naruto yelled after the retreating back of his cousin, giving him the finger. In his disgust, he threw his kunai into a tree- the blade buried deep into the wood.
Oh how he hated Sasuke more then anything! That stupid smug jerk was spoiled rotten . . . Damn! Damn. . . DAMN! Naruto desperately wanted to wring that stuck-up prick's neck tighter and tighter until. . .
"Naruto-kun! I've found you!" Sakura stumbled from the brush, interrupting the blonde's violent and bloody thoughts of revenge. "Did you see Sasuke-kun anywhere?" She tucked back the loose strands of hair back, feeling very awkward all of the sudden as she was interested in the forest ground.
"Etto. . . Hey Sakura-chan. . ." Naruto's cheeks heated up as he fiddled around with his fingers. "How do you know that I won't try and steal your bell? And what if I was Itachi-sensei in disguise?" He asked as he grinned wryly at her.
A look of panic and surprise flashed across the young girl's face as her emerald eyes hardened slightly at the possibility. Thinking very carefully, she drew out her Kunai. "If you really are Naruto-kun, then prove it!"
"WHAT! Doesn't Sakura-chan trust me?" Naruto sounded hurt, as he pouted by crossing his arms. Mulling over what would prove his innocence, his blue eyes lit up brilliantly. "Ah ha! I've got it! Um, when we were taking the Henge no jutsu test, I turned into this really sexy and naked blonde chick!" He announced proudly, not noticing the look of horror that the Haruno girl made.
"NARUTO-KUN!" Sakura screeched, her face reddening. Damn! All the cute ones are always perverted! Gah! What if Sasuke-kun's the same! Inner Sakura cried out in despair, holding a tissue to her nose.
Taking her reaction as one of disbelief, Naruto sighed. "Ok, if you really need convincing… Behold! SEXY NO JUTSU!" The smoke cleared away slowly; as the name suggested. . .
Sakura's jaw dropped, her eyes turning into giant angry whites. "NA-RU-TO!" She grated out his name through her teeth, knuckles cracking from the strain from clenched fists. "HOW DARE YOU DO THAT IN FRONT OF A REAL LADY!"
Dropping the jutsu, Naruto decided that he had convinced her enough and started to sweat. Angry Sakura was scary. . . That he decided the instant he saw flames shoot up from the peaceful forest scene. "Heh. . . Sa-Sakura-chan. . . Calm down. . .dattebayo. . ." He stuttered, backing away very quickly.
"I won't forgive you Naruto-kun. . ." Her voice sounded bloodcurdling, as she loomed over the blonde by tenfold. Her smile was strained, as veins popped out from her enormous forehead- making her really look like some sort of horror from a children's fairy tale.
"GGGYYYYAAAAAHHHH!" Naruto's tormented cry pitched to a high manly scream- causing several of the resident birds to take flight. The birds cawed and chirped in panic as they flew off to a quieter and safer region.
- - - -
Nursing the giant bump on his head, the Uzumaki boy whimpered pathetically in front of Sakura. From his agonized wails of pain, he sounded like he was dying from a fatal wound to the skull. "That really hurt!" he pined, earning himself another whack from Sakura.
"Hush! Do you really want Itachi-sensei to find us?" She hissed, chewing her lower lip with worry. "But I know that Naruto-kun can win!" Her helpful comment made Naruto's stomach flop over; he remembered yesterday all too well.
Managing his infamous grin, he beamed at the girl. "Of course! I swear, I'll protect you Sakura-chan!" Still keeping that smile plastered on, he started to fidget uncomfortably. He started to twitch, then shake, and then move around uneasily around his small hiding hole.
Oh man, oh man. . . What am I going to do? There's no way that I can keep my word! The blue eyed ninja would had banged his head against the tree to his left if not of the fact that the kunoichi was in the way. If we fight against Itachi-sensei. . . Were all going to die! NO! Calm down. . .
Naruto shook his head to clear his ranting. Putting a bold face on, his lips stretched into a nervous smile as Sakura gave him a puzzling look. I will not lose here! Even if I get my ass handed back to me on a royal platter- I'll still protect Sakura-chan no matter what! He silently declared, a bead of sweat rolling down his whisker-like markings.
With a shaky voice, he forced himself to talk. "Sakura-chan, we'd better get moving. Let's try to find Sasuke and then maybe try attacking Itachi-sensei together… You know, as a team!" He suggested hopefully, still hoping that Sasuke no longer was holding yet another grudge against him.
"That's a great idea, Naruto-kun! I can't- Watch out!" Sakura screamed, as the blonde instinctively pushed her aside and crossed his forearms together- Kunai and shuriken whistled through the air and imbedded themselves into flesh. The girl watched in horror as blood seeped down from the wounds, Naruto harshly pulling the weapons out.
"Sakura-chan, you all right?" Naruto gave her a wry grin, his hard blue eyes narrowing into angry slits. "I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE, SO COME OUT! ITACHI-SENSEI!" The genin hollered into the forest, not at all surprised when the Uchiha walked out from the shadows, silently applauding.
"Well now, where's my foolish little brother? Is he not with you as well?" Itachi coolly eyed his students, smirking at his cousin and the trembling girl behind her. He took another menacing step forward, leering above the two ninjas. "Baka Itoko. Do you really think that you have all this figured out? Teamwork?"
"What do you mean? Isn't that the whole point of this exercise?" Naruto asked, biting his lower lip in worry. It didn't make any sense! Itachi-sensei would purposely cause a conflict within the group so that they would fight with each other and hopefully later on realize that there's no way a genin can keep up with a jounin- so they turn to each other for help. That's the reason for the bells. . .
Itachi gave a callous laugh, highly amused with this situation. "I'll tell you this much: The point of this exercise doesn't have to do with teamwork. So now what will you do? The enemy has you cornered; already you've broken the number important rule in fighting."
Without even turning his head, Itachi easily caught the number of Shuriken and Kunai with his fingers. Looking bored now, the shinobi prodigy pocketed the weapons and drawled lazily, "I was wondering when you will show up, foolish bother. . ."
"No! Sasuke-kun! Stay away!" Sakura screamed, tears forming in her emerald green orbs. Pangs of despair worried her, sapping her strength as the girl slumped to her knees. Oh god! They were all going to die. . . It was all over. . .
Hissing angrily, the Uchiha boy flipped forwards and landed between Sakura and Naruto. "What the hell are you two doing? Get out of here!" Sasuke roughly shoved the pink haired girl into Naruto's arms and carefully considered his options. Damn, things weren't looking good for him: he had been hoping to use the element of surprise but now that's been ruined, he had no choice but to fight him head on.
Naruto glared at Sasuke before quickly making his decision. Grabbing the enormous collar of the Uchiha's shirt and taking Sakura-chan by her arm, he dragged his two teammates out of the clearing- Sasuke swearing profanities and Sakura shrieking.
"You moron! What are you doing!" Snarled Sasuke, twisting his neck around to give the blonde his patented Uchiha glare.
Snorting, the Uzumaki ran through the trees and made extra sure to drag Sasuke through several bushes. "Saving your ass, that's what. You think that you stand a chance against him?" Naruto ducked under a tree branch, weaving his way through the woods. He tried not to wince when Sakura screeched 'NARUTO-KUN! SASUKE-KUN!'
"Shut up. You're annoying," Sasuke growled morbidly, crossing his arms together stubbornly. "Do you really want the sensei finding us?" He irately scowled, forgetting exactly how sensitive Sakura was, especially around himself. His stoic expression softened when the girl gave him a tearful look and the Uchiha boy avoided her near crying gaze by deliberately fixing his attention elsewhere.
Naruto threw Sasuke down and gently set Sakura to her feet, giving her a heartwarming grin. "Don't worry, things will work out all right! Cause you have me and that bastard over there to protect you, isn't that right Sasuke?" Sasuke snorted, and Naruto took that as an agreement. "Great! Now, the next time Itachi-sensei comes around we can just kick his ass!" He excitedly jumped up and down, the eager look on his face all the more made Sasuke irritated.
Hitting Naruto on the head, Sasuke glared- hoping that his Uchiha bloodline had more then just copying (AKA he wanted to have heat beam laser eyes to destroy this annoying thing called 'cousin')- and nonchalantly said, "Idiot. And just how do you propose to do that? Did your amnesia really kick in at the wrong time?"
"SSSSAAASSSUUUKKKEEE!" Naruto half whined, drawing out the name as long as possible. The impatient blonde pulled at the tuffs of his hair, having a near heart attack. Words failed him as he struggled to express his frustration at the seriousness of the situation that nether of his teammate were taking him very sincerely.
The dark haired ninja decided to have some pity on the blonde and squatted down- using a kunai to point out bits and pieces of his plan that he carefully thought up of. "Naruto, you can distract Itachi-sensei while I try to hold him down. . . That leaves Sakura to go in and take his bell. We'll decide who gets it afterwards. . ." He trailed off, leaving the ominous sentence hang over their heads.
"ROGER!"
Sakura nodded her head, still upset that her Sasuke-kun snapped back at her but determined to make things all right between the two. "I understand Sasuke-kun!"
"Right. We only have so much time left. There is no room for any mistakes!" Sasuke stressed the word 'mistake', his sharp obsidian eyes holding Naruto's endless blue orbs. He was obvious to who would most likely screw up.
Making the 'V' sign for victory, Naruto gave Sasuke the biggest and cheesiest fox like smile he could. "Don't worry about me! After all, I AM the great Uzumaki Naruto-sama, the next Hokage of Konoha. . ."
The Uchiha rolled his eyes before darting off into the woods, Sakura following not too far behind him. His cousin was getting so annoying! Sometimes he just couldn't figure out how the hell they were related! Half the time, he just wished that he was adopted or something near the lines of that!
"Right, a distraction. . ." Naruto's creative mind was a work, his eyes lighting up as he chuckled evilly. If he were betting everything he had, Itachi-sensei would have NEVER seen or even remotely heard such profanity before. . . The boy stored a mental note to thank Kakashi-sensei who had graciously stopped by his house earlier in the day and Naruto took the opportunity to snitch his dirty book while the copy nin was distracted with his father.
Leaping through the trees, Naruto quickly located the elder Uchiha and bellowed, "ITACHI-SENSEI! I'VE FOUND YOU!" The orange clad blonde landed just a few yards away from the jounin and opened the dirty book and began to read, not noticing that his teammates who were hidden away had horrified looks on their faces.
"And Emiko laughed as Daisuke dangerously whispered into her ear. He caught her and swept her to their bed, then proceeded to. . . WHAT THE HELL? AAAHHHHH! MY EYES! WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WOULD READ THIS STUPID THING!" Naruto all but screamed, throwing the nasty book away and frantically rubbing his eyes as if it would clear all bad mental images in his mind. The words seared themselves into his brain, the sentences dancing in head creating an unwanted picture.
Too bad Itachi wasn't your average hormone driven teenager and stoically raised a delicate eyebrow as he watched Naruto dancing in his place. He seemed unfazed, but if one looked closely- his cheeks had more color then usual. "I never knew you liked those books, Itoko. . ." Itachi coolly replied, smirking slightly.
"I DON'T!" Naruto roared, throwing his shuriken at Itachi and charging after the Uchiha. "DAMN IT! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THAT DAMN KAKASHI-SENSEI, I'M GONNA WRING HIS STUPID PERVERTED NECK AND. . . I'M GONNA KILL HIM!" He declared, jumping up to deliver a kick, which was all too easily blocked by the shinobi genius. Flipping backwards, Naruto's hands flashed through the handseals and breathed fire. "Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!"
Itachi countered with his own Katon, although this was what Naruto was hoping for. Sasuke seeing this chance left his hiding spot and leapt upon his brother who somehow foresaw his attack and sidestepped neatly. The blonde canceled his fire technique and lunged forward, hoping to stop the older Uchiha before he mauled Sasuke.
"Kuso!" Sasuke swore, twisting in midair to avoid being punched; however Itachi with astonishing speed jumped up and kicked him clear across the clearing, the Uchiha boy painfully clutched his stomach and glared across at his older brother. "Sakura!" He yelled, standing up on shaky legs. Damn, it smarted real bad!
The pink haired girl had successfully sneaked behind the jounin without him noticing, until his hand suddenly whipped around and hurtfully gripped her wrist so tightly that she was so sure that her bones creaked. "Itai!"
"Haruno. . ." Itachi's deep voice mocked her; slightly amused at the girl's dreadfully obvious attempts to creep around- the girl breathed too loud and her footsteps were far too heavy- as the ANBU captain addressed his other students. "Naruto-kun, Sasuke. . . both of you have greatly disappointed me. I expected more then this! What if this was a real battle? Haruno here would be dead and it would all be your fault."
Naruto's body started to shake, trembling with anger and fear mixed into one high adrenaline rush. His blonde hair shadowed his stormy eyes, his lips curling into a contemptuous snarl.
"Naruto-kun!"
"Idiot!"
The blonde rushed Itachi with a burst of erratic chakra, tackling headfirst into Sakura and the elder Uchiha. The boy knocked away Itachi's grip and at the same time, pushed Sakura safely away into Sasuke's general direction, praying that the stupid prick would actually have enough sense to catch her. Rolling on the ground until he slowed to a stop, Naruto staggered to his feet, weakly grinning at his teacher.
Itachi, who calmly dusted himself and acted as if nothing had happened, raised a delicate eyebrow at his cousin. His dark eyes carefully taking in every detail of the scenario while his mind puzzled over this new turn of events. A small spark of hope flickered to life within him- maybe they could figure out the secret behind the true meaning of his little examination.
Spitting blood out of his mouth, Naruto's tongue probed his numb gum where it was bleeding significantly. Wiping his chin, the blonde looked over his shoulder and said, "Sasuke, take Sakura out of here! I'll stay behind and buy you time! And don't you dare argue, you stupid prick or I'll kick your ass!"
Hesitating, Sasuke retorted, "You idiot! We don't have time!" The boy was slightly surprised when he caught a small object, without even opening his fist he knew that it was Naruto's own bell. Obviously the surprised look on his pale face made the blonde explain himself.
"Naruto-kun!" Sakura exclaimed, held back by Sasuke.
"Just in case. . ." He brightly beamed at the Uchiha before turning to face Itachi with a grim look set on his face. "Now hurry up!" Naruto wiped the beads of sweat that perspired down his cheeks. The genin was slightly shocked when Itachi began to chuckle- hell, anything more then the usual Uchiha smirk from the clan genius was enough to send anyone in shock.
"Very good. I see that at least one of you have some brains. . . But then again, this test is coming to an end." Itachi said, the alarm clock ticking away. "Come, Naruto. Let's see how strong the son of the Hokage is." Bending down low, he raised his fists- the most basic of taijutsu stances, yet the easiest to adapt to any situation whether defense or offense.
"Kage Bunshin!" The blonde yelled, summoning shadow doppelgangers by the number and running dead on towards the Jounin. At the last possible second, Naruto leapt dramatically into the air while his clones surrounded the Uchiha elder. "U-ZU-MA-KI! Naruto Renden!" He furiously kicked down with all his chakra focused on his foot- the impact created a crater.
Landing neatly, he panted for breath. It seemed as if he were breathing through a straw- his sore lungs protesting for more oxygen. Suddenly, as if it was all at the same time, his Kage Bunshins exploded into smoke. Panicking, Naruto took a step back- a wrong move as he bumped into Itachi himself.
"Orokanaru Itoko. . ." The jounin chuckled darkly, his black eyes swirling into those familiar crimson red with the famed Uchiha commas. "You have little chakra left and time has run out. My foolish little brother and the Haruno girl have abandoned you. What will you do now?" He asked, his low voice almost purring into Naruto's ear.
Tensing, the blonde started to laugh. "Whatever loser. Thanks for falling in my trap!" Then it disappeared in a puff of smoke- another shadow replica! Tipped off by the bunshin, a barrage of weapons rained down from the treetops. At last, the real Naruto jumped down from the trees feeling slightly apprehensive.
"Hey! Itachi-sensei?" He yelled, cautiously just in case if the older teen had been speared by his weapons and somehow lived to tell the tale. It wouldn't surprise him if he did. Yet another of the Uchiha secrets- the undying ability to come back as a zombie and haunt you.
Too late. The alarm went off before anyone knew what was happening Naruto found himself tied to the log quicker then you could say 'Konoha village.' Much to his nervousness, there was a stump with an axe lodged deeply into the wood. Surely his slightly eccentric teacher/cousin wouldn't go as far to as killing them?
"Well, well. It seems that you three have failed my exam. What will we do now?"