Ribbon sighed and held Netto a little tighter, fancying she was holding her Jamie. It was weird, but for the longest time, she was afraid to let go of her 'age' and acknowledge that she was 20 years older then she pretended to be. With each passing year it became harder and harder, but with the more effort put forth by her, the happier Lividity seemed to get.
It was amazing, Lividity had done so much for her, but she did nothing in return. She was happy with as many chances to play as any child would wish, but she was constantly unhappy. Never being able to explore her maturity for fear of loosing Jamie and becoming less and less happy with her façade.
It wasn't appearance. She loved looking like she was 8. On the streets of the Net City, she could oftentimes get pity from humans and their navis wandering around, maybe a free treat. But as for living her life, as an 8 year old when every day her mind told her otherwise was an insult to her way of thinking. It wasn't natural, nor realistic to continue to live the way she was.
But why give it all up? Why should she forego fake innocence in place of harsh reality? It wouldn't make her happier, nor more cheerful. Just the opposite, it would make her even more upset. Regardless, she was depressed to begin with, so what would the point be anyways.
In Ribbon's mind, playing was just a metaphor for escaping the real world. She would love nothing more then to trade her powers and upgrades and just be a simple navi wither her Jamie. But life didn't view her destiny with such a kind light and so she had taken the lots given to her. Games, toys, power and Lividity were all there for her. But she didn't care, she only wanted to be happy. Happiness wasn't a commodity she could afford any longer.
"Netto-chan?" she asked.
"Hm?" Netto replied. He was starting to get vaguely creeped out by the girl's attitude and mood swings.
"If my Jamie-chan were alive, and here right now, do you think he would like what I've become?" she asked in a soft voice.
Netto bit his lip, now how the hell was he supposed to answer that? "I think… that if he were here…" Netto's voice trailed off hesitantly.
"He wouldn't even recognize me," she said with a smile. "He'd wonder 'who is that?' or 'why does she look familiar?' I'm no longer what I was, Netto-chan. All these years I tried to preserve my original identity and all I ended up doing was destroying it."
Netto frowned, "Yeah, well it's not all your fault, Lividity…"
"Used me, told me lies to have a pawn. I'm perfectly aware of what I've been used for, Netto-chan. I know where I lie in life, I'm not that stupid, just blind to what I don't want to see," Ribbon said dejectedly.
Netto shrugged, "I can't really argue with that," he muttered.
Ribbon's candy blue eyes widened. Netto looked up at her and frowned. "Ribbon, I'll be blunt at this point because I don't see any reason not to tell you these things anymore. I think you're insane for one thing. You've lived a lie for 20 years just because you're unhappy? If I lived like that, I couldn't stand myself." Netto wriggled out of her limp arms and stood over her. "Another thing is that, you knew Lividity used you, but in your need for an escape you turned a blind eye to it. How can you live like that?" he asked.
Ribbon took in a deep breath and giggled, "Because I didn't want to live after my Jamie-chan died," she said in a small, child-like voice.
"What?" Netto snapped.
"I tried to kill myself, that's why I ran away. Navis can take away their own data structure you know, you just have to find a program to do it. But before I could, Lividity found me, and told me of the wonderful ideals of a new world. Lividity said… the pain would stop," Ribbon said.
"Are you stupid?" Netto asked her.
Ribbon looked up at the angry five year old with an astonished expression. "There is no life worth taking away just because some one else dies!" he said. Then he blushed, "Unless there really is no choice," he added in a low tone.
"How can you say that? You don't know the cost of not living with someone you love," she told him.
"Oh? How do you know what I know and don't know?" Netto asked her, his anger rising. "I'm a person but I can't keep my form in my own world any more, I'm 12 but I look like I'm 5. I'm supposedly human, but I can't even be sure about that any more. What do you know about me? Or Rockman, or anyone your idiotic plan had affected. Who are you to judge anyone until you know who they are? Who is Lividity to do the same?"
Ribbon stood up and glared at him, "I'm a hell of a lot more mature then you are, that's for sure," she snapped. "I've seen and heard things that would drive others to insanity."
"You don't act like it!" Netto retorted. "You say you're 28 or whatever, but you act like a little kid? Why? Why live your life as a lie?"
Ribbon gritted her teeth, "Because it was the only way to cope," she hissed. "Being young and naïve let me escape my world, why else?"
"That is stupid," Netto stated flatly.
Ribbon stared at him with her mouth open for a few seconds. At that time, Rockman managed to find the link and he came in through it just in time to see Ribbon burst into tears. /What did you tell her/ he asked his twin.
/The truth/ he muttered.
/Netto-kun, what if she gets angry/ Rockman asked rushing over to them and placing himself between Netto and Ribbon.
"Why?" she asked with a sob.
Everyone else came through the link to see the drama unfold.
"Why?" Ribbon asked again.
"Why what?" Rockman asked.
Ribbon shook her head. "I don't know," she said softly. "I…" she shook her head again.
Netto frowned, "What's wrong, is your perfect world not quite what it seems?" he snapped.
"Netto-kun!" Rockman hissed.
Ribbon frowned and looked thoughtful, "My world…" she whispered. "My Jamie-chan…"
"He's gone," Netto said softly.
Ribbon blinked and took in a deep breath, "I know," she said. "I… yeah, I know."