I don't own it, alright?

Time is acting so strangely. One moment, I'm at school beside my angel, the next I'm at home, sobbing inside, though the mask never leaves. No one at home understands what's going on, so it is ignored.

I feel worse than ever at a realization I made today. As Tohru was waving goodbye to me, her sleeve slipped...

And her wrist was covered in red stripes.

Did the world end and I wasn't aware of it? My heart stopped dead for a moment, but I kept silent. Talking would make her feel worse.

But why did that foul monster ever sully my dear, sweet guardian angel? Why did he harm her like that? How could this have happened?

Thankfully, there is no bulge in her stomach. She would never have an abortion, I know it. She would give up her future instead.

Her life would be ruined.

She's still living with him. Still staying in the same house as him, trying to appear normal near him, but...

I can see her knuckles turning white and her shaky smile, more fake than anything that I've ever seen. She's terrified, just like me.

More so, I'm certain.

He must have asked for forgiveness, because she's becoming friends with him again... The scars on her arms are fading as well, but does she no longer attack such an obvious place?

She's come back to me, quaking. He wants to talk to her alone in a building off to the side of the school. I speak my mind at last, telling her firmly to stay away. She listens.

I can sense that she needs a hug very badly. I long to hug her and make it all better, but it doesn't work like that. It never could. But I ask anyway, though Uo is nearby, and she says yes in a way that seems to me as though she was hoping someone would ask.

I love her more every day.

I still can't get over it, though. Why her? Of all people, why did that sad excuse for a living thing do this to her?!

I start to have daydreams of it being me instead. They come back several times a day. I wish with every fiber in my being that it had been me instead.

My mind is dark as it is, anything worse would hardly have made a dent, right? Her soul... For I can sense souls as well as waves, though it takes knowing someone for many years...

Before, it was a new soul, clean and impressionable. Soft, round, white. Gorgeous and pristine. Now...

It is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life.

It is dark, yet light, swirling in an orb that has been carved and stabbed repeatedly. The aura surrounding it is blue. I can hardly describe it well enough to convey its splendor.

But, each day, the light tints itself to be a tad bit darker...

I am afraid again.

It should've been me. If it had been me, things would be better right now.

Uo has been told. I was the one who said it, at Tohru's insistence. Her reaction was predictable enough.

More people are out for his blood now.

But all Tohru has to do is tell us to stop, and we do.

I talk to Uo, releasing my tortured thoughts from the past year. That probably saved my life.

If I hadn't spoken with her, in three more months I would have broken. I would have killed him in the most painful way possible (and believe me, I've thought long and hard about the worst ways to break someone) and smeared blood from what was left of his battered corpse and smeared it everywhere and then killed myself.

I had it all planned out, even.

I can never thank her enough for that.

Uo was so shocked that she hardly knew what to do. She couldn't understand why Tohru couldn't tell everyone what had happened.

Tohru is Tohru. I understand this well enough.

But every night I want to cry, to die, to live, everything at once, but nothing more, please...

I want to stop thinking. To rest my mind. To stop mulling it over.

I can't.

The line between reality and my daydreams is blurring. I almost thought it had been me instead of her. It hurt when reality came back to haunt me.

I wonder why it had been Kyo who had done it. He had seemed to love her, but... Maybe his emotions, he is always far too rash, got the best of him. I'll probably never really know.

I don't care so much, I just want to rest. I want it to be a nightmare. Please, God, if you're listening, take care of her.

I fear for her safety every moment of every day.

What if he goes after my beautiful sunbeam again? What if clouds cover her light forever?

I want to hold her and protect her from the darkness, but I'm too late. The darkness sought her out.

Uo should forget this all before it consumes her as well.

I feel sick to my stomach, to my soul. I want to throw up. I can barely eat.

But I put on appearances. No one must know anything is wrong. I hold it in as I have done since the incident.

What else can I do?

Owari

Alright, here's another chapter for you. Reviews? Please?