A/N I'm sorry that I never replied to anything in the reviews... I was concentrating on the story so much that I forgot. I'm sorry if what I wrote or how I wrote it displeases you, but, sad to say and I apologize yet again, I'm not writing this fic for the masses. I'm writing it for myself. I don't want to torture the characters any more than necessary. I have my own reasons for writing this, but I have tried to explain it as best I can.

I am really sorry. I can go back and edit my chapters so that I don't mention it's Kyo until later, but I thought this was going to be a one shot. I explained why I had it be Kyo (well, slightly), and I'll recap it here, just in case I forgot it somewhere along the line.

First off, I needed it to be someone that Tohru was in love with. Shigure doesn't fit in this category. Secondly, Hana needed to mention somewhere in the series/manga that she didn't like his waves. Kyo fits there, in the graveyard scene if I recall correctly. Finally, the rapist had to be brash at times, or at least able to go through with something like this when his mood swung that way. Yuki is too calm and passive for that. The only one left is Kyo, due to process of elimination.

No, Tohru will not be getting pregnant. I don't want her to have an abortion, or die in childbirth, which would be likely. If something happens, to my mind or inspiration, I may change this. Just so you know, I do not want to.

If two more people ask for her to be pregnant, I'll write a new fic. I hope this works. I'll put up another new chapter when I have time.

Thank you for reviewing!

EDIT: No Author's notes... I'll put the next chapter on this page as a precaution.

I was still in a state of shock. Where had it all gone wrong? What had happened to her?

Tohru had just told her that she was falling back in lost with the fiend who raped her. Said she was beginning to think it had all been just a big misunderstanding. That the monster was actually very kind, and thought she had wanted it.

I want to die. I thought I had finally gotten over being suicidal last year, after I first found out. She and Uo had healed my wounds, but now...

They are torn apart again.

I am so scared for her, I want to fall to my knees in all the sobs I've suppressed these last months, or has it been a year already?

No matter. Time is nothing.

Her self esteem is at an all-time low.

In my imagination, our roles are reversed. Save her from the pain, I beg to the past. But I can't. It isn't possible to undo something, no matter how badly I want to.

I dream of telling her that I love her, of letting her know that someone cares more about her than life itself. Maybe that would help, maybe it wouldn't. I have no way of knowing for sure. I can't take that big a risk with her.

In my prayers -- I only became religious to pray for her -- I always ask whatever God or Goddess there may be to watch over her, stop the cutting on her hips she told me about, to help her any way possible.

It isn't working.

The other day, in her fallen purse, there was a small blade, coated in blood. Instantly, I knew it was her blood that was left in a dried smear on it's sharpened edge.

My heart stopped, but I ignored it, ignored everything. I knew that she wouldn't want to cause a scene at school, and respected that. I was in too severe a state of shock to think clearly.

I can't take this much longer. It's far too hard.

Harder for her, I scold myself, it must be!

My thoughts are muddled, never leaving the topic of rape, even if my concentration has to split to do so.

I'm exhausted from the constant flip-flopping of emotions. Every time I'm happy, something happens to make me angry or sad, then, almost immediately, something good happen. Up. Down. Up. Down. Up, down. Up, down. Up, down, up, down. Updownupdownupdownupdownupdownupdown! My head is spinning. I'm well-rested, but always tired. I can't seem to get enough sleep to keep my eyes all the way open. Death, an eternal, infinite amount of time to rest and think, would be welcome.

But my death would kill Tohru.

I push the thoughts away, though they continue to berate me and badger me. No use to think of escaping from them. I've tried. I go online, a fake world, I listen to music so loud the world is drowned out, I daydream, I read, I sing til I want to burst, and I get criticized by my family, who I've disturbed.

They don't understand. All I want is an escape. If I don't escape to a counterfeit world, I may lose all forms of masks and grips on reality in this one.

No matter. My life is a nothingth, a speck on the backdrop of a thousand thousand lives. Meaningless.

I can't even help anyone, so what good am I?

A/N: Sorry if this was a bit more depressing than the others. Also, thank you last two for reviewing, otherwise I would've stopped the fic. My inspiration is fickle, so updates will probably be slow. Sorry!