Far Away

Chapter 4 – Not Sure

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, I am really glad you like this story so much. This isn't where I planned it to go, but I write whatever I think you will like! This chapter is a bit darker than the other ones, but I hope you like it! As always, for another chapter you must review.

Summary: After their fight, Gallant packs his bags, and heads to his parents house. Neela does what Ray said and gives him space. So, she goes home, and after three days, the nightmares finally consume her, and she realizes what she has to do.

Neela was in shock. She couldn't move, and she couldn't breathe. She felt as if the walls were closing in around her. She tried to get out of the room but she couldn't. Soon, the walls were so close that she couldn't lift her arms up from her side. As they tightened around her, and began to squeeze the life out of her, she heard a scream.

It was her own. She woke up, drenched in sweat from head to toe. As she lifted her hand to cool her forehead, she realized she was trembling so bad she couldn't keep it still. This was the third nightmare since he left. She had one every night, and each one was different, yet completely the same. She was in a different place, with a different situation, but she always ended up dying. Suffocating, to be more specific.

She knew what the nightmares meant. Since he left, she felt like her worst nightmares and fears were coming true. She was claustrophobic, and each dream reflected that.

Realizing what she had lost made her begin to cry, and it wasn't quiet either. She beat at her pillow, and sobbed uncontrollably. He had left for his parents house the day Ray kissed her, and she hadn't heard from him since. She knew he needed time, but the better half of her said to go find him. She knew they couldn't be over… they just couldn't…

"Neela, are you okay?" said a very sleepy Ray. He opened the door and peered in, just sticking his head through. "Why ya cryin'?"

"I miss him, Ray… I miss him so much…" You kissed me. "I just can't believe he is gone! We were just starting to plan our future together, and he is gone!" You sent him away because you love me. "If you hadn't have kissed me, none of this would have happened!" It's all Ray's fault!

"Neela, I didn't…" But before he could respond Neela slapped him, and slammed the door in his face. She began packing her things into a suitcase, and didn't even think about going back to sleep.

The next day, without eating breakfast, or leaving Ray a note, Neela left. She made sure to grab her wallet, her cell phone, and Ray's car keys. He would just have to use the El.

As she got further down the road, she realized that she didn't even know where his parents lived. So, she called Jerry.

"Jerry? Hi it's Neela. I am just calling in sick… Yeah, and also, can you give me the address for an Anne and Joseph Gallant? Yeah, Michael's parents. I just need it, Jerry. Ok, thanks, I got it. Bye." Now she was ready to go.

About 40 minutes later she found herself in front of a beautiful 3 story country-style home with blue shutters, and a green rental car in the driveway. She smiled to herself, and congratulated herself on making it this far. Now, there was no turning back.

Neela stiffly walked up the driveway, and across the sidewalk that led to the front porch. She took each step at a time, and went even slower considering her legs felt like jelly. Finally, she made it to the door. She knocked three times, and when no one came to the door, sullenly walked back across the sidewalk. Just as she was about to step onto the driveway, she heard an all-too-familiar voice.

"Neela? What are you doing here?" It was Michael. He sounded surprised, and not the least bit angry. Neela froze in her tracks, and slowly turned around.

"H-Hi, Michael. I was just… in the neighborhood… and I thought I would say hi…"

"Neela, you didn't even know where they lived. You must have called someone, and besides, this house is about 40 minutes away from your apartment. What would you be doing out here?" Here we go, she thought.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come. I just wanted to see if you were okay, and I…"

"Do you want to talk…? My folks aren't home so it's pretty safe now. They were very happy to see their son home from the war, unlike some people I know…But that's besides the point." That comment struck Neela so deeply she could have sworn something ripped her heart open. She soon followed him in, and began planning what she was going to say all over again.

They walked into the living room, and sat down. He asked her if she wanted anything, and she shook her head no. I want you, is what she wanted to say, but she knew it wasn't appropriate.

"Michael, I just came here to say that… that I am sorry. Ray kissed me at the moment you walked in the door, and for the brief second that he kissed me… I was going to move away, I promise you. In that brief second… all I thought of was you… I know that sounds awful, but it's true. I should have resisted, and I should have said no, but the fact is is that I didn't, and for that I am truly, truly sorry. I would rather die that hurt you like that, and I just… I want you back, Michael. I love you so much, and the thought of losing you forever… I now know what it feels like to die. The nightmares… god, they are awful, and without you, I am simply… nothing." She was too disappointed in herself to even look at him. So instead, she just stared at the wall to her left, hot tears burning her tan face. What she didn't know, is that Michael was close to crying himself.

"Neela, I…"

"No, wait… before you say anything, I… I understand that I can't change what I did, and I'm… I'm sorry for coming here. I love you Michael, and no one will ever be able to replace you." She stood up, and still adverting his gaze, began walking towards the door. Just as she was about to turn the handle, he said, "wait."

"Neela, I am so glad you came here… I acted like a fool three days ago. What you did… I thought it was unforgivable… I was just angry. I was jealous that Ray got to spend time with you while I was gone, and I was jealous that he got to live with you, and banter with you, and work with such a great doctor… I don't think I was aiming all of my anger towards you, I think most of it went towards Ray. And, I guess it's mostly my fault, after all… I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I have no right to make you cry, and I am so sorry. If you weren't upset, then Ray wouldn't have…" He clenched his jaw, and Neela averted his gaze. "He wouldn't have kissed you." He then stood up, and briskly walked over to her. He held her hand, and kissed it softly. Neela began crying again, and smiled up at him.

"Michael… can we get our own place? I know we have talked about it, but I am serious now. Let's just… let's go look."

"Of course, baby. Then, once we find a decent one, I want you… I want you to meet my family. I am serious about you, and I think this relationship is going to go very far." He grinned, and kissed the top of her head. They opened the door, and started walking to Ray's car.

"I think that is the best thing I have heard in a very, very long time."

A/N: Okay, so I like this short chappy, and more will come if you review! Neela and Michael get their own place, she meets the family, and it's a fast forward to, "I Do." It will be the same except that they are not in Ray's apartment, something big happens between Michael and Ray, and Neela doesn't resist. Also, she is only worried about her parents, not his as well. So, if you want this to happen, review!