A/N: This fic is a bit AU. I acknowledge that H/G existed but I don't acknowledged Draco being an almost murder which is how I can afford for this fic to exist. I love the band Relient K and these small ficlets are my tribute to them. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO MY FANTASTIC BETA

Chapter 2: Who I am Hates Who I've Been

'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
in the saddest state it's ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.
Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
that it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.
I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.
I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
to create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up.

Relient K

It was a Tuesday afternoon and a certain blonde-haired, grey-eyed, twenty-three year old bachelor was having lunch alone as usual. Each day at exactly 1:02 pm, a Mister Draco Malfoy leaves the confines of his Ministry office to take up residence in a booth in Neville's Nook. Neville's Nook was a diner developed in Diagon Alley by Neville Longbottom. This was the only place that Draco would eat. Although, he generally didn't approve of Neville, or any Gryffindor for that matter, he was very fond of the food. Unbeknownst to most, Draco Malfoy had a passion for Apples covered in cinnamon. It wasn't literally the food. It reminded him of an old flame, who had apple colour hair speckled with cinnamon. For that reason, he enjoyed it everyday at the same time in the same way. After the second war, Draco had become a creature of habit. He couldn't stand change in a world that had finally become consistent for him. For the past two years of his life, Draco had done the same thing everyday. He went to his large window office in the ministry and filled out paper work as the Head Minister of Wizard Athletics. And everyday at exactly 1:02 pm, he arose from his desk, donned his travelling cloak and apparated to Neville's Nook. There he ordered the egg salad sandwich and apples covered in cinnamon, while sitting in his favourite solitary booth in the back.

Today the restaurant was moderately full. He had almost lost his booth to a horrid mother and her naughty children. There was a brief exchange of words before she surrendered to Malfoy extreme glare and hurried her children along to find another place to sit. As usual he placed his order and settle down to watch the people from his secluded position. With the exception of the mother and children there weren't many other groups of people. There were just a few people scattered around here and there filling up a table by their lonesome. Some of them claimed to be waiting for others. But Draco knew the truth they were alone and would remain alone. A loud eruption of laughter came from the booth to his left. He scanned the table. Without warning, His eyes landed on a familiar head of auburn tresses. Although he hadn't seen her in two years he immediately knew who it was. Ginny

She sat at a booth similar to his own, with a young blonde with a very round stomach. Draco knew her to be Luna Lovegood. Also at the table, was Longbottom him self. The three of them were laughing about something or another the Longbottom had said. All of a sudden Ginny turned and surveyed the area. Her eyes spun around the room with the swiftness of Mad-eyed Moody's magical eye. He wanted to duck for fear that she would see him watching her. Her almond shaped crystal blue eyes landed on him and her mouth fell open. In that instant Draco's entire world was spun upside down. He began to receive flashes from the past five years of his life.

Flashback

Ginny snuggled up to Draco and nuzzled his neck.

"Oh come on, Love, Let's go frolic in the snow." She said putting extra emphasis on the word frolic, "Pretty please."

"No Gin I'm perfectly satisfied sitting in here and beside…" They said in unison, "Malfoys don't frolic." She laughed while he glared that sexy glare. She nuzzled deeper into his neck. It was Saturday, December 9th. Ginny and Draco were sitting in the Head Boy's common room enjoying each other's company on the large loveseat. The first snow of the season had fallen upon them and Draco didn't want to go outside. Almost the entire school was spending the terrific day in the frigid winter air. Ginny couldn't believe their fortune snow on a free day.

"Come on less go out Drake. I promise we'll be discreet." She pouted. For the past year and a few months, Draco and Ginny had been carrying on a secret relationship of sorts. The only people who knew of there relationship were inside the castle walls. "Gin. Why do you want to go out so bad?"

"Because…." She whined "Because I just want to."

"Well" he said, "You can go out carry on your frolicking with the Golden Trio." He spat "Freeze your nipples off having a jolly good time and I will stay in here by the fire and keep my arse nice and toasty."

"Draco, don't be that way. Come on" she said rising from her comfortable position on the couch. She stood and took Draco's hands in hers, Pulling him too off of the settee. "Let's go." She dragged him up the stairs to his dormitory and bundled him up in his winter cloak, house scarf and gloves. Before she too got ready to go out into the cold snow. She led him out of the common room by the hand and out of the front doors. For hours on end, the two lovers played in the flurry. This was the last of their happier times.

A Week Later

"Draco, why did you do this?" Ginny had gone off looking for a place to practice her spells, with the Second War on the horizon. She'd gone to her usual vacant classroom on the third floor. There on the table sat Draco, limb tangled up with Pansy Parkinson's and his extremities up her shirt. He quickly leapt off the table at the sight of Ginny. He tried to no avail to wipe away the red rouge that trailed from cheek to his lips to the space above his open buttons. The rouge was followed by dark love marks.

"Gin, Wait." He said grabbing her arm and spinning her around. He made the fatal mistake of looking her in the eyes. He could see all the hurt and the love and the pain in them. He held her gaze but a moment before looking away. He didn't deserve to look in those deep blue pools of eyes if even for that moment. He was no longer worthy.

"Let me go before I hex you." She hissed. Draco couldn't make his himself let go of her. He needed to explain. But sadly his body wanted to remain in one piece so he released her. She spun on her heels and left the room.

Four Days earlier, Draco had received a letter from his father in Azkaban. Without opening, Draco knew. Lucius knew. He knew about him and Ginny. Without hesitation, Draco began to devise ways to break it off. Not only did he have to break it off, he had to make her hate him so that there would be no chance of them getting back together. As much as it pained him, he formulated a solid plan. Ginny had once told him the thing she hated most was a traitor. That ways exactly what he planned to do. Parkinson had always had a thing for him. He acted on her feelings and got her to meet in the vacant room that Ginny used to practice her spells. Pansy immediately launched her body at Draco's when she discovered why he had bought her there. They didn't have to wait long for Ginny to show up.

I

t hurt him to hurt Ginny. She was the only thing in the world that meant anything to him. She understood him for who he was and what he was. She didn't let the Malfoy name and the Death Eater blood hinder her love. She was perfect, without flaw; A diamond in the rough.

When she had first approach him during their patrolling shift, he couldn't believe she was serious. She couldn't possibly be asked him to Hogsmade. She was a Weasley. This had to be a cruel joke devised by the Mudblood brains of the Dream Team. Why would she love him? He was a death eater. He was a Malfoy. And as the icing on the cake, he was a ruddy bastard. He didn't deserve to be with her despite her poverty and red hair. She was a crowning jewel. He hated himself. Who he was hated who he had been.

End of Flashback

That day five years ago changed his life. He became a spy for the Order of Phoenix and a high rank in Voldemort's court. As the months until the Second War drew near, the less Draco knew. He became just a body. His soul left when Ginny did. He had only been trying to protect her. Instead he ended up breaking her heart. They never should have crossed that line. She should have remained the Weaslette who he loved to hate. Instead she had become the love of his heart. Because of it, until that very day his body still ran on autopilot.

There she was, as gorgeous as she had been. Her beauty was exquisite. Time and the war had been good to her. Her hair, as well as her body, was fuller than he remembered it. She had sweet ample curves to her petite frame. Her face was divine. Her lips were as sulky as ever, rich and covered in the never-ending sheen of gloss. Her eyes, they were the real difference. They were deeper, more intense, as though she had gained more knowledge, as well as more hardship. She looked pained although she was smiling. Eloquent, she was simply eloquent. A beauty to behold.

Draco hadn't realized it but while he tangled up in his new train of thoughts, she was moving towards him. She stopped at his booth and looked at him. She said nothing just stood and stared and he allowed her to. Without asking his permission she sat down across from him in the booth. Her gaze never wavered. She held his eyes almost as a question. Finally, she spoke.

"Hi" she said shyly. He said nothing just continued to stare at her in disbelief. His breathing began to get heavy. He couldn't believe she was here. All at once the room seemed too small. He couldn't breathe. He had to get out of there. All at once he stood up and left, leaving behind his things in the booth. He barrelled through the restaurant and out the front door.

All at once, he could breathe again. She literally took his breath away. He couldn't be in the same room as he was consumed by guilt. Without worry for his expense pants, He sat on the curb with his head in his hands. After sometime he felt a light tap on his left shoulder. He looked up into those crystal blue eyes that he had so adored.

"You left your cloak she said holding it out for him. He hadn't realized it but he was cold. The weather was a mere 2 degrees Celsius. He gratefully reached for his cloak. She pulled it out of his reach. He sent her a puzzled face but she just smiled. She wrapped it around him and closed it at the neck.

"You never did like the cold." She meant that literally and figuratively. She always could see deep down inside of him. He still hadn't spoken. "Drake you never answered me. Why?"

Like a fish, he experienced the without oxygen feeling. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before speaking. "I wanted… I wanted you to be happy."

"And you thought you snogging Pansy would make me happy?" she said with the smirk he had taught her. He gave her a sardonic smile followed by a sigh.

"Did I say happy? I meant alive." She gave him that questioning gaze that she was so good at. "Lucius found out." he had dropped the whole 'Dad' thing years ago.

Her mouth shaped into a perfect O and he was succumbed by the sudden urge to kiss her. "He found out and I didn't want him to hurt you. I…I…"

"Don't" she said with understanding.

"No Gin. I was…I...I loved you. You were special. They only thing I ever loved actually. I caved into his demands. He was such a bastard and I let him run my life. It's hereditary. When we first got together, I knew nothing of how to give and receive love. I was a bastard. Who I am hates who I've been. We never should have crossed that line. I wish I could take it all back. You made me love you. The only thing we got out of it was hurt. I hurt you… and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the person I became." She gave a little jerk. He was frightened to look at her. He turned and saw small tears running down her cheek. She wasn't looking at him but rather gazing across the street. She was looking at some object he knew she wasn't seeing. Ginny never stayed directly on topic. She talked in small circles. They always seemed to come back to the prior subject. So Draco wasn't worried when her next statement was off topic.

"This was always my favourites time of year. December. You know? I never got a lot for Christmas but the season was enough for me. And then that one Christmas, I had you." She turned to look at him. "And maybe this Christmas, I could have you again." Draco was stunned.

"What?" he sputtered. She didn't answer him. She leaned in and kissed him hard on the mouth. In an instant the world was right. Everything fell in place for Draco. They broke apart after some time for air. They laughed. It was the first time Draco had laughed since that day in the common room. Draco gasped.

"Ginny, guess what? It's snowing." She looked up. Small snowflakes clung to her eyelashes and her hair. She giggled. He notices that her beautiful eyes once again had their iridescent sparkle.

He stood and pulled her to her feet. "Come Gin you and I shall frolic." They chuckled and he pulled her close. He inhaled that oh-so familiar scent. He was home with her.

They pulled apart and looked into each other's eyes. She reached up with her bare hands and stroked his cheek.

"Draco, I forgive you. And you don't have to be that person anymore. He's gone. And what's left is a beautiful man. Love me, okay?" He could do nothing but nod. "Now let's go inside so you can have your baked apples." He looked at her with a perplexed gaze. "That's what we were discussing when I looked at you. Neville said he had a patron who was obsessed with baked apples covered in cinnamon and I knew it was you. I mean really what kind of obsession is that." She laughed at him again and pulled him towards the café.

He stopped her and gave her an odd look. "I'm not obsessed with apples covered in cinnamon. I'm obsessed with you." She gasped and this time he happily pulled her to the café.

I know a lot in one chapter. It could have been more detailed and if this wasn't a series of ficlets I would have made it so.