For a long while the pair sat enfolded in an almost deafening silence, one consumed with concern, the other with self-loathing. It was the eventual barely stifled yawn of Hermione that broke Serverus' reverie and self-berating internal monologue. Glancing at the small clock placed on the mantle above the now gently flickering fire he only just managed to stifle a jaw-breaking yawn of his own, the long hours of the day and restless sleep of the night before seeming to crash into him all at once. His entire body was flooded with weariness and a multitude of aches and pains, making him feel each and every long and tortured year of his life. Rousing himself a little, Serverus ran long pale fingers back through his mane of ink black hair and rising slowly and stiffly to his feet spoke in a weary and broken voice,
"The hour is late Miss Granger, I suggest that we retire for the night." Startled by the sudden break in silence, Hermione gazed up from the book spread across her lap and nodding slowly rose to her feet, closing and placing the book beside her on the settee.
"Yes Sir, I will just go change" she said quickly as she removed the oversized shirt from her trunk and dashed into the bathroom before Severus had a chance to utter a word. Watching the girl disappear into his bedchamber Severus began to pace back and forth in front of the fireplace his hair falling around his face in a thick black veil, the dying firelight casting dancing shadows upon his face. His eyes glimmered and gleamed like polished obsidian in the flickering light that highlighted the high arches of his cheek bones and the frown that creased his brow.
Pausing before the fireplace, one hand mindlessly going to rest upon the mantle he half turned and gazed unseeing at the closed door. His mind raced relentlessly as images of Hermione dashed through it, memories of her lying quiet and still in his bed, her face serene in sleep, her chocolate-colored eyes full of warmth when she looked upon him, the intensity of her gaze when she would return his cold stares. Despite his efforts and repeated attempts he found himself unable to remove the images of her from his mind and so when Hermione hesitantly opened the door, her clothes neatly folded and clutched to her chest she found Severus standing beside the fireplace, one arm draped across the mantle and his head bowed in deep thought.
For a moment she found herself frozen in place, still firmly griping the door handle as she watched his lips twitch in concentration, his eyes narrowed in the same way they would be when he scrutinized her potions in class. A heaviness settled deep in her chest as she regarded her Potions Professor, the intensity of his seemingly unseeing gaze causing her to feel a great amount of sadness. Severus could feel the girl's gaze fixed upon him, unflinchingly studying his face and stance, her stare memorizing every aspect of his appearance making him grow increasingly uncomfortable though he would never show any outward sign of his discomfort. Why is she staring at me so? He asked himself as he fought the urge to turn away from her, to retreat into the silent safety of his laboratory. Why does she stand there and say nothing? What ever could she find so fascinating about me? Is she judging me, scrutinizing me? Of course she is, that naïve know-it-all could be doing nothing else. Well I will not stand for it, I am not here for her twisted amusement and entertainment. I care not what she thinks of me, she is just a stupid little girl his mind continued in a battle against itself, conjuring reasons for her continued silence and unbroken observation of him.
He could feel a heated displeasure swelling within him, starting as a tight knot in his stomach before spreading to his chest and out through his limbs as his anger began to grow. With a deep sneer contorting his face he slowly raised his head to look her in the eye, the fierceness in his own eyes making her draw in a sudden breath.
"Is there something I can aid you with Miss Granger?" he sneered coldly, "or do you prefer to spend the rest of the evening gaping like a fish out of water?" Feeling like she had been caught with her hand in the proverbial cookie jar Hermione quickly lowered her head as a scarlet flush infused her cheeks, her eyes dropping to the floor and focusing on her own bare feet as she slowly shuffled forward to place her clothes within her trunk.
"I… I'm sorry Professor" she stammered as she tentatively raised her gaze slowly to meet his, the scowl of irritation still plastered across his face causing the heat in her cheeks to deepen all the more.
"Indeed" he mused as he regarded her with a small amount of pleasure, seeing her obvious discomfort in the constant twitching of her fingers at her sides, the nervous manner in which she switched her weight from one foot to the other and back again, the wild fluttering of her eyelashes and the way in which she drew her deliciously plump lower lip into her mouth.
Severus was of course thoroughly amused by her fear, feeling a swell of pride at his ability to turn the oh-so-proud and courageous little Gryffindor into a mass of jumbled and tightly wound nerves with a simple glance and carefully directed insult. Oh how predictable all these pathetic and sniveling children are, how easy to coerce and intimidate. How delectable their fear tastes upon my palate, how intoxicating is the scent of their terror. How sumptuous and tempting they are standing before me quivering with barely restrained panic, ahh to taste that fear, to drink it right from the source, to feel it upon my lips, those small and gentile hands upon my… What the hell am I thinking? For Merlin's sake he mentally slapped himself as he shook his head and quickly straightened himself, his stance once again one of foreboding and intimidation.
His sneer of contempt for the Gryffindor before him deepened all the more while he internally reprimanded himself for such vile thoughts. Before any more unwanted thoughts could creep into his apparently weakened mind Severus took several swift steps towards Hermione while radiating an air of hatred, his tone clipped and cold as steel.
"Permit me to clean up Miss Granger and I will leave you to sleep" he said as he quickly swept past her and into his bedchamber and the bathroom beyond leaving Hermione standing bewildered and speechless in the middle of the sitting room.
Standing bent over the narrow sink with his head bowed Serverus let out a long breath between clenched teeth, his knuckles growing ever paler as he gripped the rim of the basin. Frustration was mounting within him like a tidal wave, threatening to break through the flood gates and erupt in a roar of desperation.
"What in Merlin's name has come over you Severus Snape?" he said in a strangled hiss as he looked up to meet his own gaze reflected back at him. "Stop these foolish thoughts at once and begin to again conduct yourself as a respected Professor should," respected? And who are you trying to fool? That girl is perhaps the only one who respects you, and she despises and fears you too. "Albus, he…" he uses you as a pawn in his twisted game of chess, where more than just sculpted pieces are destroyed. You are nothing Severus, you are simply a plaything to those around you, no one respects you, let alone cares for you the voice within his mind retaliated. Sighing and bowing his head once more Severus admitted defeat holding back the urge to scream in torment he ran trembling hands back through his hair before splashing deliciously cold water upon his face.
Back in the sitting room Hermione had begun to pace nervously back and forth in front of the fireplace much like her Professor had only moments before. The fire had died down almost completely until only a few embers continued to burn, glowing like a dozen twinkling stars, the floor in front of the fireplace warm beneath her feet as she fell into deep thought. I just don't understand that man she mused to herself as she once again turned on her feet and began to walk back in front of the fireplace. He seems to contain so much sadness but when just a small flicker of it emerges he quickly smothers it with anger and hatred, what is he so afraid of revealing? Why won't he allow anyone to see how much he hurts? She could feel a crushing sadness in her chest as she thought of the broken expression she had seen on his face when he was unaware of anyone watching him.
The anguish had been obvious in his lowered face, his well-schooled expression unable to hide the torment deep within him. Letting out a ringing sigh she paused to gaze at the closed door, envisioning the man behind it, his broad shoulders slumped beneath the great weight upon them, his coal black eyes full of guilt at the horrendous things he had seen and done. If only someone could offer him comfort, if only he would accept it she thought as she stood there suddenly feeling as sad and helpless as he had looked.
Hermione's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the large and heavy dark oak door opening, the dark figure of Severus emerged slowly, the black satin of his pajamas shimmering in the almost gone firelight. The silken fabric made a symphony of soft sounds as he slowly walked into the sitting room, the only other sound that of his bare feet slapping against the stone floor which each step he took. Stopping beside the settee he let his lithe fingers dance over the arm, swirling in non-sensical patterns over the soft warm fabric as he regarded Hermione with a flat expression.
Honey-colored locks fell about her face in a soft frame of unruly curls, her eyes soft and inviting in their gaze as she watched his slow approach, her lips pursed as though ready to bestow a tender kiss while she idly pulled at a loose thread on the hem of the ridiculously large shirt. Refusing to allow himself to once again fall into a lack-of-sleep-induced reverie Severus roughly cleared his throat and with a malicious sneer upon his face said,
"Well Miss Granger, my bedchamber is one again at your disposal and so I will with great pleasure bid you goodnight." Startled out of her own thoughts Hermione looked at him in bewilderment for a moment taking several small and hesitant steps towards him.
"Please Professor, I cannot take your bed, I am simply a guest in your quarters."
"A burden would be more correct" he grumbled under his breath, "however it is unacceptable for me to force you to sleep upon the settee, so please Miss Granger, I implore you go to bed and leave me in peace."
"Can we not share…" Hermione began in a timid voice only to be quickly cut off.
"No we cannot. We discussed this last night, and I hope we shall not continue to discuss it every night hence forth. You will take my bed and I the settee, end of discussion. Now go to bed" Severus continued with an audible sigh of frustration.
"But Professor…"
"Go to bed, now!" he bellowed ferociously, his eyes flashing dangerously as exhaustion and the girl's continued pestering clawed at his little remaining resolve. Emitting a rather undignified and uncourageous squeak Hermione quickly rushed past him, disappearing into the bedchamber, the loud slamming of the door punctuating the silence as it echoed throughout the room. Sinking down onto the settee he laid his head in his hands, a heavy sigh rolling over his pursed lips as he fought to keep his aggravation under control.
"You will pay for this Albus" he cursed vehemently before lying back on the settee and letting the smothering darkness of sleep envelope him.
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