I don't own CSI: NY or any of the related characters. I do own Samantha and Jonathan though.
Thanks to Shiro and White Rose for reviewing. Yeah I saw that episode last week,Isn't the blue paint killer the third serial to die on Grissom.
What's Golden
Chapter 5
December 3rd
"Mac I Have a question" Actually I have several but this one would do for now "I've been here at NY Crime Lab for three months, we've worked sixteen cases together three involving dumpster diving and this one crawling in an air vent"
"So"
"Not once have you put on overalls, you've just told me to do it. The only thing separating us is office and a paycheck" I paused to reach for another bag of evidence "So why don't you join in?"
He looked at me strangely before taking the bag. I raised an eyebrow before hauling myself forward. I was still in the vent. For the past three hours I have been on my stomach in a narrow space searching for something pertaining to our latest case. The smell, eau de air vent was getting to me. Thankfully twice round the system and now I was passing the assortment of bags I collected down to Mac through the opened grill. He had been talking in my ear all that time whilst (I suspect) sitting around in that fancy suit of his sipping coffee.
"That's it" I passed down ALS, crawled completely over the hole and dropped my legs down "Grab my legs" I said. I could feel the reluctance as he loosely encircled them. I moved down further so my knees met his face, I shimmied further so I was holding onto the vent with my elbows and forearms. I had the option of simply dropping, making a smooth landing without treading on his toes or I could throw my weight forward and attempt to force him over. Though I doubt physics is on my side he's taller, has a stronger build and I'm probably not even three quarters of his weight. I let my grip slowly slide so Mac had a hold on the top of my thighs "Got me" I asked, I had to trust him as I couldn't see his face. His affirmative grunt quickly followed "Okay on three 1…2…3" I let go and fell part way down, through the gap his arms created straight onto his shoes. I jumped back to see a series of pained expressions which were quickly quashed. Battering down a few giggles I started picking up some evidence bags and equipment. "So" I broke the silence "Are you going to answer my question?"
"So what did he say" My neighbour, childminder and best pal leaned in closer
"A straight up No, no reason not even an excuse"
"What a jackass"
"I know" I said leaning back "I've crawled round dumpsters, been called in on my days off for that man. I thought I put the worst of my dumpster diving days behind me when I got promoted to level three, heck, level two but no back in I go like I'm a rookie"
"That's not fair, aren't there a couple of lower grades on the team?"
"Yeah but he keeps pairing them up, when I suggested that he pair up with one of them for this case he stared at me like I asked him to process a scene without gloves"
"Tightly wound much" Charlene noted
"He's so tightly wound he could have sex with his fly zipped and that's not the half of it"
"Theres more" I could see the surprise on Charlene
"Yeah" Pause for dramatic effect "I came back from lunch to find him and Stella, the nightshift supervisor sorting through the evidence I had already sorted and discussing possibilities of the case"
"Hey, what are you doing" I slipped into the layout room and went to put on my lab coat "I had that in a certain order" Indicating to a pile of receipts and statements obtained by warrant from the victims offices, when I left they were in a neat stack, now? Spread out on the layout table like they had been chucked on there
"I asked Stella to lend a hand"
"Mac, you call me in on my day off yesterday, today I spent three hours in a ventilation system I have a twenty minute break for a quick bite to eat and you call in another CSI like I'm some inexperienced first grader? And to add insult to injury those documents I spent the past two and a half hours organizing, which you watched me do are now a mess. But that doesn't matter because you're discussing what may or may have not happened with someone who isn't even on for another eight hours"
"Sam It" Stella began
"Cram it, I'm not in the mood" I grabbed a baggie with trace evidence and began to process
"It wasn't till later when I was taking swatches over to DNA that Stella cornered me"
"Literally?"
"Bit of both"
"Stella had disappeared from layout after a bit, during that whole time I could hear her and Mac mumbling. But anyways I turned a corner and saw Stella and her headful of slinkies coming my way"
"Sam" She came straight to me "Can I have a word?"
"Have several" I shifted my weight for effect keeping hold on my evidence
She gave a slight huff and a 'yeah cute' look "Don't you think you were a little harsh on Mac"
"Depends" I cocked my head "Do you want the truth or a lie?"
"Which would I prefer?"
"The lie" I said smiling
Stella was infuriated and so changed tack "He doesn't need this"
"Yeah he was in the marines, his wife died blah blah blah; tell him to pull his head out from the grave dirt and smell the coffee, past is past the futures now and all those newspaper clichés, he's not the only one who's been there, he's definitely not the last"
"Is this something to do with you?" Stella turns it around
"You mean do I have something against him?"
"No, I mean your own husband"
I paused and considered my answer "Stella do you have kids?"
Frowning at the question "No"
"My husband died eight years and ten months ago, my son was born eight years and five months ago, try and imagine how much I felt, how I feel now. Do I spend endless hours reviewing cold cases? Can I sleep? I don't live for my son; if I did then it would have killed me years ago. I live for myself and my son, the setting sun, the butterfly floating on, the edge of the horizon. Mac's still trapped living for, well I don't know. I get up and get on with life, some days are harder than others but I'm here, I'm alive and you have no right to accuse me of anything" Vindicated I moved past her and headed for DNA. Though I won this round it was the opening skirmish of a war.
"Wasn't that a bit harsh Sam"
"Maybe Charl but I wasn't really caring at the time. My day wasn't over then by any means. Stella went to Mac, gave him the highlights of our little skirmish and on my way back from DNA I had another battle on my hands"
"Sam, what makes you think you know anything about how I feel?" Mac stood there accusatory look in his eyes
"Do I have to remind you of my field and title? And I was calling it as I saw it"
"You've got your way of grieving I've got mine, some people take longer to get over" That struck a nerve
"Are you saying I didn't love my husband as much as you loved your wife?"
"What? No"
"I loved and still love my husband, part of me always will but that gives you no right to accuse me of loving him any less than you loved your wife"
"I didn't mean it like that
"Mac, I've done a lot of grieving over the years for my husband, sometimes the way Jonathan smiles or says a certain something and I think he's so much like his father or I have to explain things to him thinks a father should, Iremember it wasa littleafter Jonathans fourth birthday he came home and asked me where his daddy was cause all theother boys have one,ask yourself how do you tell a four year old nasty men hurt daddy real bad and took him away from us?"
"I don't know"
"Next time you locked in your office ask yourself who's got more to deal with" Uh oh here comes the water works. I wanted to go, go hug Jonathan tell him how much I loved him. I checked my watch. Thank god, clocking off. Taking a deep breath I started to speak again "I just left the samples at DNA, they'll be a while yet some backlog. I'm gonna go home. See ya tomorrow"
Realizing his mistake "Sam, Sam I'm sorry"
"I didn't turn round just got the hell outta there. I probably overreacted a little but that was just the thing I didn't need to hear"
Charlene gasped "It would have been his birthday right?"
"Yeah" I managed choking up a little "Thirty eight, hardly a milestone but in this life"
"Oh hun" Charlene gave me a nice big hug. "It'll be okay"
"Thanks Char, I know it's just every year I always think how I'd imagine our lives would have turned out if he was still here"
"That's natural, you loved him, you wouldn't be human if you didn't have those feelings sometimes"
"You know, in another life I think you were a therapist" I smiled a bit
"Hey that'd make a good career change wouldn't it?" Charlene smiled back
"Thanks Charlene" I rose up from the sofa "Jonathan and I'd better head off home, I've promised him a movie and fudge cake"
"Sounds nice"
"Thanks. Jonathan honey, time to go"
My little boy appeared from the direction of the kitchen soon followed by Charlene's kids eight year old Alex and his nine year old sister Jessie.
"Come on hun shoes and coat on, I bet yer hungry"
"Ya ha" He put on his goofy grin and toothy smile. So much like his dad.