So I'm gonna apologise to Emily and co in advance but I've wanted to write one of these properly for AGES! So yeh sorry.

But for all you who like the angst enjoy!

Chapter 1

He lay back on his bed and stared at the ceiling.

Two weeks.

Fourteen days.

Three hundred and thirty six hours.

Twenty thousand one hundred and sixty minutes.

He missed her. Never been apart for longer than a few days in the last two years. He missed her touch, her smell, her taste. He even missed her sideways glance as he said something filled with innuendo. He knew he had a long while to go. But he'd wait.

For her.

Two years it had gone on and no one had noticed. Not Sandy. Not Seth. Not Summer or Marissa. Or Julie or Jimmy or even Caleb when he was still here. Definitely not Lindsay. The fact that he was with Lindsay was bad enough without anyone finding out about this. Nobody knew. She had made sure of it. He reached for his wallet and slid out a photo from behind his school ID. He had found it when Seth was going through some old photo albums. He figured no one would notice its absence. He studied her face.

Clear blue eyes smiling at something out with the camera's view. He figured the something was probably Sandy. Her hair blew around her face in the wind coming off of the ocean. She was grinning widely her teeth gleaming in the sunlight. Her gold dress fitting snugly around her delicate frame. He remembered that day at the beach. He remembered peeking through the slats in the door as she dressed before she noticed him and dragged him into the room with her pulling at his shirt as she did so.

He missed her.

He wondered if she was thinking about him. She probably wasn't thinking at all. He had seen his mother go through it. He knew the process. She'd be in pain. Her body shivering uncontrollably. Her bones screaming in protest. She'd be screaming obscenities, lashing out at those who could help her most. But she didn't know that. She wanted the thing that put her there in the first place.

He realised from the first day he met her. She was an alcoholic. Borderline at first. He didn't know when it all changed. Perhaps when her dad died. Maybe even as far back as Lindsay but he said nothing. Who was he to judge her? He wanted to help but what could he do? He had a strong suspicion it all began when Carter left. He tried to fight his jealousy but she assured him he was a friend and nothing more. He didn't believe her. He dragged his thoughts back to the present and studied her face again. He sighed.

He really missed her.

So it's obvious who it is but this is a fic made up of his memories of her. Please review EVEN IF YOU HATE IT! Because how am I gonna write what you want if you don't tell me? You all know who you are!