Chapter 3: Too much time
The next few days, work was normal for Sara. It was a bit awkward to see Evelyn at work, because she didn't really know what Evelyn wanted. She wondered when Evelyn would come to her to say everything was ok again.
Catherine was really busy with teaching and guiding Evelyn and Evelyn seemed to enjoy it. Sara decided to give Evelyn as much time as she needed, and let Evelyn come to her when she was ready.
Catherine was amazed how open and honest Evelyn was with her. And it was obvious to even a little kid that something was wrong, and today was just the day Evelyn decided to tell her what was going on.
"I never thought of you like that" Catherine said "you like Sara?" She was amazed by the confession, but it was also quite obvious since Sara and Evelyn seem to be so much alike.
Evelyn blushed "From the moment I laid eyes on her" she sighed "but I messed it up".
"How?" Catherine asked "You two haven't been talking since the first day in the….bar." At the end of her sentence she understood it. "Ok, so what happened at the bar?"
"I kissed her" Evelyn said, blushing even more.
Catherine started at Evelyn in awe "you…are you serious?" "Oh my, talking about a direct approach, what happened?"
"Sara got mad at me, which was the reason why I went to her house. I apologized to her, but not for kissing her, just for picking the wrong moment. We talked and kissed again. And then we talked more, and fell asleep on her couch. When I woke up in the morning I freaked out and left her, saying I was sorry for being weak" Evelyn sighed "she saw me cry Catherine, I messed up"
"Of course you didn't" Catherine said, trying to calm Evelyn down "just tell her what was going on. And you know, crying in front of someone you care about, is not showing weakness, it's a way of saying you feel safe with them." Catherine pulled Evelyn in a hug because she saw the young woman break down and she didn't want the others to see that. She knew Evelyn wouldn't want the others to see that.
Evelyn held on tight while Catherine held her, she was shaking with sobs. "Ok" Evelyn mumbled to herself "Compose yourself". "It's ok Evelyn, no one is around" Catherine whispers to her while she kisses Evelyn's forehead.
Just at that moment Sara walked by and watched the scene. Catherine kissing Evelyn's forehead? What's going on? What is this! Filled with rage she barges into the locker room, and hits her hand against her locker. She couldn't believe what she just saw. You gave her too much time Sara, now she has run off to another woman. You will always be alone, it's not meant to be. Sara refused to cry, holding back her tears with all the power she had. I'm not going to cry over that woman. Taking a deep breath, Sara gets herself ready for work. On her way to the break room, she can't resist looking at the place where Catherine and Evelyn were. They were still there, talking. Evelyn's face looked flushed, like she had cried. Just like last night, when she spend the night at her house. You let her walk Sara, big stupid fucking mistake! Sara shook her head to get rid of the nasty thoughts and went to the break room to get her assignment.
"I'm sorry for this Catherine" Evelyn apologizes "I never get so emotional, it's just that I'm not used to being around here and.."
"You don't need to explain, I know" Catherine says "And besides, you are the one who got me to dance again. Thinking about that, maybe we should do that again tonight" Gently Catherine adjusts Evelyns hair.
Evelyn smiles, while wiping away her tears "Yeah, sounds nice. Maybe I can ask Sara to come along"
"Go get her tiger" Catherine whispers in Evelyn's ear just before Greg walks in the room. Evelyn managed to show Catherine a faint smirk before she walked over to Greg.
"Hey Greg" Evelyn grabs his arm "wanna go out tonight?"
Greg looks at her in awe "you mean like you and me, like on a date?"
Evelyn laughs "No, us, you know, the whole team"
"Oh" Greg replies, turning red as a tomato "Of course"
As Evelyn walks to the break room, she suddenly gets really nervous. Her stomach starts twitching just at the thought of having to face Sara again
I totally messed up, what a way to make a first impression. The moment I enter the break room my eyes lock with Sara's. It scared me to see so much pain and anger in those eyes, those eyes that smiled at me and made me feel safe less than 12 hours ago.
The second Evelyn entered the break room, she locked her eyes with mine. Last night her eyes showed pain and care to me, but now they were totally different. She looked scared and confused, well good for her. Right here and now, I promise myself never to open up like that to someone again, never to let anyone see my vulnerable me, because I would only get hurt anyway.
Their eyes locked and they stared at each other for quite a while. Nick looked at Warrick, and he just shrugged his shoulders. Neither of them knew what was going on.
Evelyn hoped so much Sara would also come along tonight, she really needed to talk to her and maybe make things right. She already missed being in that great woman's arms.
I couldn't take Evelyns look anymore, playing the innocent girl huh? You might as well stab me in the back! I feel a lot of anger coming up and I have to get away. So I get up and without saying a word I leave the break room. On my way out I'm brushing past Evelyn and I can't help but smell her perfume, that intoxicating scent, the mix of her own and the perfume she was wearing. I sighed, I had to resist this now. No one would ever see the weak Sara Sidle ever again. I keep on walking, I don't even look back at her, even though I feel the pain, her pain, my pain, all at the same time. I wonder what's so special about her anyway, it feels like I can read her mind, and that I can feel what she feels. Because even though I did not look at her, I knew what look she gave me, I felt it. Still confused I walk to Grissom's office to get my assignment.
As Sara got up without saying a word, my heart sank. I can feel a stinging pain in my chest. I have to keep looking at her, maybe she will look up and see in my eyes that I'm sorry. Maybe she will notice it, because I notice what she means and feels. When she barges out of the room, almost brushing against me, her great smell fills up my nostrils. The smell of feeling safe, the smell of feeling understood. I can't let that walk away. As she barges on into the hallway, I realize I have been holding my breath. I sigh, maybe now is not a good time, she will probably need more time. That's ok, I will give it to her, I understand.
As she tried to compose herself from the painful moment, Evelyn looks at Nick and Warrick. "Hey guys" she smiled "I was wondering if you were up for another drink after shift, Catherine and Greg are coming too". To not let them notice there was something going on between Sara and herself she added "I don't think Sara will be coming, but she would be no fun anyway".
Nick grinned at Evelyn's remark and he looked at Warrick. "So are we up for that?" he asks Warrick. Warrick nods "but only if you and Catherine will give us another show. I didn't know Catherine still danced like that" he says, making Nick laugh.
Evelyn pulled a naughty face "Well, maybe if you boys are behaving, we just might do that" she said, just before leaving to find Catherine.
Warrick whistles while staring at Nick. "Foxy" Nick says as he smiles at Warrick.