Chapter Five-Two Can Be Better Than One
I had managed to get myself straightened up before the mid-day meal bell rang. Opening the window, I used a pillow from the bed to move the air around in the room. I didn't want to embarrass myself any further by having anyone else know what I'd been up to for the last hour. Feeling relaxed and much steadier, I left the room and wandered down to the meal hall. As soon as I walked through the door I was grabbed by a pair of hands.
"Lady Karyn, please come and sit with us for dinner!" It was one of the twins who spoke, although I hadn't quite figured out how to tell them apart.
"Oh, all right." I said, letting them lead me away to a table.
"Yes," said the other twin, "Elladan and I want to hear more about you. We have never seen clothes like yours before and you speak with such a different accent."
Elrohir piped up, "Lord Glorfindel told us you were from a place called Van-coo-ver, and something called Can-a-da. Where is that?"
"And what is it like there?" added Elladan.
I sat down at the table they had led me to and thought for a minute on how I was going to approach this. If I was hallucinating, which I was almost positive I was, I couldn't control anyone's reaction, and I didn't want this to become a nightmare. However, if this was real, which I seriously doubted, I still would have to be careful as my safety was hanging by a very thin thread. I figured on treading cautiously.
"Vancouver is a very large city located in a country called Canada, which is in the far north. Vancouver is one of the cities in the south, and it is on an ocean. I think it's a beautiful city, lots of park land and there are mountains on one side and water on the other." I hoped the sketchy description would be enough.
Elladan, or was it Elrohir? One of them spoke, "That sounds nice, how far north is Canada?"
"Very far." I wasn't going to take any chances with specifics. I had no idea where I was and didn't want to screw up by putting oceans or large bodies of land where they weren't supposed to be.
The twins nodded sagely. "You must be lonely, being so far from home." I thought it might've been Elladan who said that, but unless they started wearing name tags, I wouldn't have any idea.
"Not really. All of you have been friendly and I daresay, putting me up like this goes above and beyond what anyone else would do." I would've patted their hands, but I didn't want to seem patronizing.
"Lady Karyn, we are just doing what comes naturally. Being kind to others and offering assistance to those who require it is a part of our nature. But we can understand that during these dark times a mortal would not expect to receive such hospitality." I think that might've been Elrohir, but I could be mixing them up.
As I ate my meal, I wondered how to broach the issue of what exactly was going on in these 'dark times'. Hey, I had just come from a place where there had been bombings in the London tube, very reminiscent with the 1970's attacks led by the IRA. The Americans were entrenched in a war they couldn't extract themselves from, and Canada was busy sending assistance for the peacekeeping efforts in the Sudan. China kept rattling their sabre in the direction of Taiwan; and India and Pakistan kept an uneasy peace. Don't even get me started on North Korea; I could talk on that for a couple of hours easily. I wondered if my hallucination also provided for conflict on the scale of my real life.
I began, "So, trouble. How much is there out there, I mean is it the Big Bad, or what?"
"Big Bad? If you mean Sauron attempting to return to power, then yes. That would be the Big Bad."
Sauron. That rang a bell. Admittedly, it had been years since I had partially read 'The Fellowship of the Ring', but Tolkien was so wordy, I had put the book down halfway through and never picked it up again. I didn't bother going to the movies when they had come out either, as I wasn't really interested and my work and home life kept me too busy to go to movies more than a couple of times a year. I thought Sauron was some creepy demon thing, but I couldn't quite remember.
"So what is this Sauron up to?" I hoped I wasn't shooting myself in the foot with the questions.
"He is gathering power in the South and will attempt to destroy all those who do not align themselves with him. His minions of yrch and warg raid villages and try to cross our borders. They kill anything they come across and burn what they cannot eat. But do not concern yourself with this ugliness. You are safe here and will continue to be safe as long as you are within our borders."
Yeah, this was one safe hallucination all right. Cannibalism and a scorch and burn policy worthy of Vlad the Impaler's army. I prayed to whatever deity was in charge, to please take me home where I could identify danger and watch wars on the nightly news without being personally involved.
"Well, that sounds pretty ugly. I'm sure glad I'm with you guys. I feel safer already." I grinned, trying to break the sombre tone.
We finished our meal in silence, the tone of our conversation prompting thoughtful contemplation. Afterwards the twins led me out of the hall and showed me more of Imladris. As we passed by the door of my room I stopped them.
"Can you hold on a minute? I just want to grab something in my room." I touched one of their hands in request.
"Of course. We shall wait out here for you." One of the twins said.
I ran inside my room and picked up my pack. Looking in the top pocket, I found the item I was searching for. Grabbing it, I walked out and closed the door. Turning to the twins, I held out the permanent marker that I had grabbed from my pack.
"Okay, I need to know which one of you is Elladan?" The twin closest to me held up his hand. I grabbed it and drew a black 'D' on the top of his hand. "So that makes you Elrohir, correct?"
Elrohir grinned cheekily, "Only if you want me to be."
I grabbed his hand and marked the top with an 'R'. "Don't touch those letters for a moment, I want them to dry."
Elladan looked down at me, "Why did you draw these symbols on our hands?"
"I needed some way to tell you apart. Don't wash those off or there will be dire consequences." I warned.
"What kind of consequences? Will you spank us?" Elrohir leered lasciviously.
"Oh, never you mind." I said, and whispered under my breath, "Kinky boy."
Elrohir laughed and Elladan grinned. Taking my hands they led me down the hall and stairs. We wandered for a short bit and then reached a door near the back of the building. They opened the door and we entered some kind of antechamber. Two doors on opposite sides of the chamber were closed.
"This is the bathing area. The door to your right is for females, it will take you to a disrobing area, then a door will lead you out to the bathing pool. Do you feel like taking a bath?" Elrohir looked a little too hopeful.
The truth was I was dying for a bath. I felt like I was wearing a year's worth of dirt. I had bathed the morning of my 'accident', but tromping through the underbrush of the woods had left me feeling less than fresh. Plus, having to use a chamber pot and not being able to wash my hands under hot running water jeebed me out. I could practically feel all the bacteria growing on me.
"Why, are you hoping to join me?" I already knew the answer to that.
"Only if you need to bathe, Elrohir and I can show you the ropes. We would not want you to feel odd about public baths." Elladan added helpfully.
"I don't think public baths are that different, you know." I had read all about them when I studied Roman history. Plus, I was trying to be a bit more worldly and not seem too modest.
Elrohir grinned, "We did not realize you were familiar with our ways. Mortals are infamous for their modesty, so we assumed you would be shy to participate in public baths."
"Oh for heaven's sake. I'll see you in the bath." I walked to the door on the right and opened it.
"Okay, we will meet you inside." Elladan grabbed his brother and dragged him through the door on the left.
I raced through the disrobing and practically ran out the door to the pool. The twins had not yet made an appearance, so I slid into the pool sinking into water that came up to my chest. Looking around I saw it was just one pool, instead of multiple pools, and the pool was empty, save for me. There was a low stone bench running around the edge of the pool, smooth from many years of use. I felt a slow current around my feet and was surprised that the water was as warm as it was. The baths in Rome were only lukewarm; here it felt like they employed hot springs to warm the water. I was so busy looking at all the details and trying to figure out where the current was coming from, I didn't notice the twins enter the bath. A hand on my shoulder startled me.
Elladan had slid his hand from my shoulder down to my waist under the water.
"We're glad you found the bath all right. It is good we are using it now because it will be busy after supper." Elrohir brought over a bottle that I had noticed on the shelves, and opened it. He poured a small amount of liquid into his hand, and put the bottle on the edge of the bath. Rubbing his hands together, the liquid foamed and he reached for me.
"Okay, I can clean myself you know." I was trying not to look into the water, and keep my gaze on his eyes. It was the polite thing to do. I moved over to the side of the bath and picked up the bottle. "This is a cleanser?"
Elladan nodded and moved over to me to get some of the liquid I was pouring into my hand. "Rub it into your hands and then clean yourself. It will get rid of any grime."
Elrohir was moving his hands over his chest and then dipped his hands below the water line to reach his lower half. He was looking directly at me as I lathered myself up. I was really trying hard not to look, but it was hard. Especially since the water only went to his mid-section. He and his twin were built. I guess patrolling paid off in the musculature department. I swore I wouldn't look below the water line. It wasn't polite. I knew from the rules at Wreck Beach, the nudist beach we had in Vancouver, one did not look any lower than the eye line and if one did, it had better be due to one needing to see where they were stepping. Elladan touched my back and started to lather it.
"You can't reach back here, so let me clean your back." He seemed a bit too happy to help. He started to reach for my bum and I grabbed his hand.
"That's okay, I can reach my bottom. Thanks for lathering my back though." I sank deeper into the water to rinse my back and scrubbed my lower half. I was trying to figure out how I was going to gracefully exit the bath without them getting too much of an eyeful. I wasn't that immodest, but the twins beat me to it. Elrohir had jumped out of the pool and was turned towards me.
"Towels are located in the disrobing area. Make sure you drop your wet towel in the basket by the door." He grabbed Elladan's hand and pulled him out of the bath.
I looked up at him and nodded and got an eyeful of the twins' considerable assets. There was nothing small about these guys, was there? They turned and walked back through the door to their disrobing area. I needed a moment to collect myself before I got out. Crap. That was totally hot. I'm positive they were leading me on, but they obviously enjoyed doing it, because they were erect and impressive. Some very lucky elleth probably enjoyed their assets a great deal. I didn't think I had a hope in hell of getting lucky, because I just wasn't gorgeous enough for them to notice. I really felt they were just playing a game of 'embarrass the mortal woman'. Problem was, I wasn't embarrassed, but how was I going to find satisfaction of the kind I was looking for? I got out of the pool and walked back into my disrobing area and got dried off. When I had dressed again I walked out into the entry antechamber. The twins were waiting for me and they looked very amused.
"We thought you had gotten lost in there," Elladan remarked. "We were going to come in and look for you."
Elrohir grinned and took my hand, "You were really calm about the whole public bath experience. I think you could be one of us yet!"
"Yeah right. Aren't you guys impossible to kill?" I looked at them dubiously.
"No. We can die from battle or grief, but otherwise we are immortal." Elladan said seriously.
"See, right there is why I can never truly be like you. I'm going to die one day and then I will spend time in the afterlife choosing what path I want to learn and explore in, before I incarnate into a new body." I lectured them earnestly.
"What do you mean 'incarnate into a new body'?" Elladan guided me out of the antechamber and into the hall.
"Well, where I come from some of us believe that our spirits live on in life after life. It is in these lives that we learn specific things and we bring them through each life, not always consciously remembering the previous lives or what it was we learned. We keep this information in our spirit selves, but if we learn from the right paths and lead the right way of life, we can at one point, achieve moksha, or freedom from the bonds of karma. At that point we join the Oneness and become nothing and everything. The self falls away and we are no longer an individual but are part of something greater than all that is in the universe." It was a bit oversimplified, but the details were pretty complex for somebody not studying the Way of the Middle Path. I was a non-practicing Baptist, but I followed the Buddhist way as it was the most logical.
The twins looked at me curiously but said nothing. Instead they led me out of the antechamber and back through the halls to show me more of Imladris. We came to a set of doors separated by a wall divider.
"These are Elrohir and my rooms. If you ever need us, just come here and knock and then enter. Do not worry about waiting for us to ask you to enter. We are pretty relaxed around here." Elladan opened one of the doors. "Come in and take a look around."
Elrohir grinned, "Yes, feel free to take what you need."
Even I could pick up on the not-so-hidden message there. I entered the room and looked around. There was a sitting area with a couple of chairs by a fireplace and a couch along the wall. A low table was between the chairs and a bookshelf was on one side of the fireplace. Some weapons were hanging over the fireplace, I wasn't up on types of swords, but they looked thin, so I guessed they were rapiers. An open door on the wall opposite from the fireplace led to a sleeping chamber. I walked in, much to the delight of the twins, and saw a large bed covered in dark materials. There was a small table by the balcony doors and two small chairs. A large wardrobe was placed on the wall that led to the door, and another fireplace was on the wall opposite to the door, across from the bed. A window was placed on the wall a few feet away from the balcony doors. Nice place. I could see a few ellith enjoying themselves here. Not that I was envious or anything. Man, I am such a bad liar. I was really envious. Bloody hell.
"So," said Elrohir, "See anything you like?"
I sooo knew where he was going with that. "This is a lovely set of rooms. The woodwork is just gorgeous." I wasn't going to give in to the baiting.
Elrohir wasn't going to give up. "Yes, it is very nice. My rooms are the mirror opposite next door. But is there anything you would like to have?"
I'd had it, and I decided to call them on their bluff. I was too goddamned old to pansy around with a couple of big teases.
"Okay, I'm placing my cards on the table here and I want honest answers." I said snippily, "Are you actually trying to seduce me? Or are you playing a sick game of 'embarrass the mortal woman'? Spill it." I wasn't putting up with this malarkey anymore.
The twins looked confused at some of my figures of speech. Then they grinned. Oh God, did I just shove my foot in my mouth?
"We are not playing a game, unless you want us to." Said Elladan.
"We are showing interest in you." Agreed Elrohir, "We think you are a very attractive mortal. And we have been across a great deal of Arda, and have seen many mortal women."
"You are much nicer looking than them and you have a good sense of humour from what we have seen." Added Elladan.
"Yes," said Elrohir, "We wanted to know if you were interested in us before we pursued you. And it seems like you may be."
Okay, this hallucination was officially wigging me out. And I was the Queen of the wiggy. Two gorgeous babes were actually interested in me? If someone was feeding me drugs, they were good drugs. I really should find out what I was on when I regained consciousness. Hey, if I was in the hospital somewhere and deep in some kind of coma or something I thought, I should really take advantage of the situation. I hadn't gotten laid in over two years, and I needed release. Okay, this wouldn't be a real life release, but hey, wet dreams were better than none! And these guys looked to promise some very wet dreams.
I smiled cheekily, "Ah, so sex is in the offering?" Lots of it I hoped.
The twins grinned so big, I thought their cheeks would split.
"Yes. You would enjoy yourself, aswould we." Elrohir reached for my waist.
Oh my God, I have died and gone to porno heaven. "Okay, just so you know, I'm not some cheap lay you can whore around to your friends. I enjoy sex and that doesn't automatically make me some slut." I needed to lay ground rules if this was going to happen. Hey, even in my dreams I'm not slutty. But I was a good ride for all concerned. I looked at my watch and noticed I was running late for the seamstresses. "I have to run and see the seamstresses about a dress, but after supper we can discuss details."
The twins were a bit thrown by the figures of speech, but recovered nicely.
"Of course," nodded Elrohir.
"We look forward to it," agreed Elladan.
The twins took my hands and kissed them, "Until then," they said in unison.
I nodded and ran off to go get my dress, and ask if it was possible to obtain clothes for exercise. If I was going to be involved in some naked stress relief, I needed to keep on my exercise routine. No yucky fat deposits could be allowed to get access to my body. I needed to look good naked or I'd be too self-conscious to enjoy myself.