Chapter 17: Sometimes when you hide, you want to be found

Sara sat in her lab, well it wasn't really her lab but since she spend most of her time in there, everyone referred to it as her lab. She was sitting in a chair examining evidence from a case she was working on. She had her hair up in a ponytail to keep her hair from interfering while she was closely examining the evidence. She was so focused on her evidence she didn't hear anything when someone entered the lab.

She also didn't hear that someone was standing behind her. She only noticed something when she felt a hand on her shoulder and a voice next to her ear whispering.

"Close your eyes" the voice whispered.

The feel of breath on her ear made her lose her ability to think straight. She remembered that voice from somewhere, but when a tongue traced her ear she didn't care whose voice it was. With the feel of a soft tongue tracing her ear closing her eyes wasn't a very hard thing to do. When the fingers of the hand traced her neck with a barely-there touch, she let out a soft moan.

Sara was in a pure bliss. She wanted to turn around and see who was brining her to this ecstasy, but the person behind her stopped her from turning around. "Don't move" the voice whispered again, before attacking her ear again. Sara suddenly realised she was happy her hair was in a ponytail, she felt fingers gently tracing her neck down to her collarbone and the fabric of her shirt. Sara gasped when the fingers slipped under her shirt and traced the outlines of her bra. "Oooh" she managed to bring out, that was not exactly what she planned, but it was all she could do for the moment.

Sara leaned her head back against the chest of the person behind her, so that person had more access. She could feel that person's chest was rising and falling quickly, and their heartbeat was probably as fast as hers, which turned her on even more. Immediately she felt that her unknown lover took advantage of that. She felt fingers tracing her collarbone ever so lightly. The feel of the fingertips on her skin made Sara fly so high, she had no concept of time and place anymore, she was totally focused on the fingertips that were touching her neck and chest.

When she reached for the hand which was bringing here to this state of bliss to kiss it, she realised whose hand it was. Suddenly she opened her eyes and turned around. It was true, she couldn't believe what she saw. She felt tears of anger well up. Evelyn was back. How dare she think she can sweep me of my feet again!

Evelyn put her hand on Sara's arm, but Sara jerked away. Sara couldn't help but let her tears flow. For 8 months she had wanted Evelyn to come back, but now Evelyn was standing right in front of her she felt a mixture of a million emotions. She was happy, in love but most of all she felt anger and pain. The last two emotions were taking the upper hand. Sara glared at Evelyn, turned around and left the lab.

"Sara, please" Evelyn pleaded.

Sara didn't say anything, but just left. Evelyn followed her and grabbed Sara's arm. "Please Sara, please listen to me for one minute."

Sara turned around and looked at Evelyn. The look in Evelyn's eyes had something that calmed Sara down, but she didn't want to calm down. She had all right to be mad at Evelyn.

"What is there POSSIBLY to say Evelyn?" Sara shouted "You leave me without saying ANYTHING and then after 8 months you come back and think we are ok?" Sara sighed "I don't even know WHAT you are thinking!" Tears were rolling over Sara's cheek. There she was standing in front of this gorgeous woman who she loved with all her heart, crying uncontrollably, just GREAT!

Seeing Sara cry made Evelyn cry too. She never realised what a mess she left behind every time she bolted, it wasn't normal for her to return to a place she left. Most of the time she would just move on and never look back. Tears were rolling over her face, all she wanted to do was hold Sara and make her pain go away, but she knew that right now that wasn't a good idea. When Sara was in a state like this, the best thing to do was let her rant.

"Sara" Evelyn whispered, not letting go of her arm "Let's go somewhere private" even though most CSI's where out in the field Evelyn knew it was best if they found a secluded place.

"Why?" Sara said in not such a nice tone.

"Sara please" Evelyn whispered "Just hear me out, and when you know my reasons and still feel like this you can walk away." Oh how Evelyn hoped Sara would not walk away. She knew she missed Sara, but the second she saw Sara again, she realise how much she really had missed that woman.

Sara looked at Evelyn. She did want to give Evelyn a chance, but right now she was hurting so much. She started at Evelyn for a long time, thinking what to do, her head was at war with her heart and she was just so confused at the moment.

Sara cupped Evelyn's face with her hand, she could feel Evelyn's tears on her hand. The feeling made her shudder. Sara's voice was not more than a soft whisper.

"I'm sorry" she said to the blonde woman in front of her.

After those words, she removed her hand from the blonde woman's cheek and turned around. She could swear the whole lab could hear her heart cursing at her for what she just did, but she had made a decision. No matter how much she loved Evelyn, the pain Evelyn caused scared her, she didn't want anyone to have that much power over her. As Sara paced away she could hear Evelyn sobbing. She wasn't sure if she heard it right, but she thought she heard Evelyn whisper her name, that whisper was so powerful it sounded like a heart-rending cry.

Sara sighed and kept walking. She had to keep walking, because if she stopped she knew she would cry. And she decided not to cry anymore, crying was showing your weak side, and Sara Sidle did not have a weak side anymore.

When Sara realised she was walking around in circles she decided to take a left turn for a change. Shortly after, she realised that wasn't a good idea. She bumped into Catherine, hard. Sara kneeled to pick up Catherine's files and mumbled an apology. When she looked up to Catherine and gave her the file, Catherine spoke up softly "You, in my office, now, please" she said.

Sara shook her head. "Not now" she said.

Catherine grabbed Sara's arm and took the brunette to her office. "There is no 'not nowing' me at this moment" she said in her mother tone.

"Sit down" Catherine said while closing the door. She sat herself down on the other side of her desk and folded her hands together.

"So, do you mind telling me what's going on? First I see Evelyn storming out of the building like there is a fire drill going on and then you almost knock me over" Catherine sighed "I know I should have told you she was back, but I thought it would be a nice surprise."

Sara looked up at Catherine. She couldn't believe what Catherine just said. She got up from her chair "YOU KNEW?" she shouted with a disgusted look on her face.

"I was the one who convinced her to come back, I got her back" Catherine said calmly. Although she wasn't that calm anymore, she saw the pain in Sara's eyes and she felt bad for betraying her friend. Until now it had gone fine, but she didn't think things would go wrong between the two lab lovebirds.

"YOU WHAT?" Sara shouted again. She got up to leave Catherine's office, she was having none of this anymore. Who died and gave Catherine the authorisation to do what she had done. But Catherine was faster, she was standing in front of her office door before Sara could reach it.

"You are NOT running Sara. Please listen to what I have to say" Catherine pleaded.

"That's the second time I heard that this night" Sara sighed, trying to get past Catherine.

"And did you listen the first time?" Catherine said, looking Sara straight in the eye.

Sara didn't reply, instead she looked down to break the eye contact they had.

"I thought so. You know Sara, I know you are hurting, I can see it, I've seen it all this time. I tried to help you Sara, I kept coming to you because I know you are not the type to go to someone else for help. But you need some help. And I don't have another choice but to come to you to help you now." Catherine wrapped her arms around Sara.

At first Sara was hesitant, but when Catherine tightened her grip, the younger brunette lost her composure and started sobbing uncontrollably. Catherine just let the woman cry, she seemed to need it. It was odd, they had worked together for more than 4,5 years now and this was the first time she hugged Sara. This was the first time Sara opened up a little. Holding the younger woman gave Catherine a very pleasant feeling inside.

"I'm sorry Sara" Catherine whispered. "I should have told you. Ecklie told Grissom to hire Evelyn, and Grissom came to me to find her. That's why I took a night off. He didn't want anyone else to know, but I should have told you, and I'm really sorry Sara."

Sara didn't know what to think anymore. She made a total fool out of herself by crying in front of Catherine, what in Catherine's arms!

Catherine pulled away a little so she could face Sara. The younger woman looked so cute, her face was flushed. Catherine wiped away a tear with her thumb. The feel of Sara's skin made her shudder. What the hell? Catherine thought to herself.

"Sara, look at me please" Catherine said softly.

When Sara looked at Catherine, the older woman felt all warm inside and didn't really know what to say. What the hell Catherine Willows? She thought again this is NOT happening!

"Listen Sara, I know you hate Evelyn now, I know you hate what she did. But she also left me behind you know, and I let her back in. I hate what she did too, but when I heard her story, her reason, I can forgive her." Catherine was still staring into Sara's eyes. She wanted Sara to hear every word she said.

"Please listen to what Evelyn has to say, it might ease the pain Sara, it might make you forgive her for what she did" Catherine continued.

Sara interrupted her "Nothing can make me forgive her for what she did Catherine, she betrayed me, when I thought she would never leave me, when she PROMISED she would never leave me, she left" Sara ended her sentence with a sigh. It still hurts so much.

"I know Sara" Catherine said. "But give her a chance. You are going to have to talk to her sooner or later anyway. She will be your colleague from next Monday on"

Catherine looked at Sara, the younger woman seemed to try to collect herself to say something.

"I love you Catherine"

Catherine's mind seemed to work overtime. What did Sara just say to her? She felt her heart racing and a sudden warm and pleasant feeling was taking over her whole body. "You what? Could you repeat that?" Catherine stuttered.

"I owe you Catherine" Sara said with a smile. "Thank you, for this, for everything"

Catherine moved away from the door, still in awe. Her mind was playing tricks on her, she was sure of it. Even though what Sara really said surprised her, what Sara said according to her mind, made her really confused. What was going on?

When Sara left Catherine's office, she felt much better. If Catherine could forgive Evelyn, then maybe she could too. Sara decided to continue her work, maybe she could talk to Evelyn after her shift. Then she realised she didn't even know where Evelyn was, or what her phone number was. She was going to have to wait until Monday.

Evelyn had spent the whole afternoon with Lindsay. This seemed a great therapy for when things went wrong. Even though Lindsay was still young, she was very smart and some of the remarks she made, made the girl sound like she was at least 10 years older.

When Evelyn told her she wasn't mad at her, she was so happy that she hugged Evelyn and held on for at least 15 minutes. When she pulled back she smiled.

"Sometimes when you hide, you want to be found" Lindsay said.