Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh

(A/N: egyptionkitty just to tell you again Malik is the hikari, k?)

"Malik Ishtar…He's a French drug dealer named Bubba."

"Okay, first of all I'm Egyptian, second I've never been to France, Third, where the hell did the name Bubba come from, and fourth, who the hell are you trying to fool?" Malik snapped.

"You never said you weren't a drug dealer" The narrator snapped back.

"HEY!"

"Malik Ishtar…he llooovvvess chicken"

"I'm a vegetarian," Malik said boredly.

"Malik Ishtar…he loves Angel Khalid"

"I don't love her!" Malik yelled almost falling off his chair and turning the slightest tinge of pink.

"Malik Ishtar…he loves fuzzy bunnies" (thanks randomgirl for this idea and the next one)

"No…that's my Yami," Malik said.

"Malik Ishtar…he's addicted to peeps marshmallows…"

(shifty eyes) "Who told you that…?"

"Malik Ishtar…Played knuckles in Sonic the Hedgehog…"

"I never played in any damn show!"

"Malik Ishtar…he has a hot dog shaped car named Bob…"

"What! I drive a motorcycle you baka!" Malik yelled.

"Rriiigghhtt"

"Malik Ishtar…he bathes in vanilla pudding..."

Malik quirked an eyebrow. "You've got to be kidding me"

"Then what's with all the vanilla pudding I found in your house?"

"That's Marik he's…kind of obsessed with that stuff…"

"Malik Ishtar…he's picking his nose right now…"

"Damn it! I'm had enough you damn fucking voice from nowhere! You will obey me now!" Malik said taking out his millennium item.

"I COMMAND YOU TO!"

"…I obey only Malik…"

"That's better"

"…Malik is such an idiot…"

"…okay…"

"…He's such a ca-ca head…"

"HEY!"

"…Malik is such a dumb ass…"

"Damn it! SHUT UP!"

"…Malik sleeps with a teddy bear…"

"I SAID SHUT UP!"

"Now you know Malik Ishtar, that ca-ca head, hot-dog driving, idiot…"

"THEY DON'T KNOW A DAMN ABOUT ME! COME BACK HERE! I COMMAND YOU TO! COOOOMMMEEE BACK!" Malik said waving his millennium rod wildly. His millennium rod hit one of the camera guys and he died, so then Malik went to court. He was guilty and was sent to jail where he's going to be doing 5 years for murder…the end.

Chocolate? WTF? Bad? Good? R&R, Next up, Marik Ishtar!