Chapter 18: The truth is in me

Catherine sat in her office, wondering what kind of tricks her mind was playing on her. She was gently massaging her temples when she felt a headache coming up. She didn't get enough sleep the past few days, and her body was warning her now.

Evelyn had put Lindsay to bed hours before, and she was sleeping on the couch now herself. She wanted to wait until Catherine came back, but she was really tired. She figured the sound of the front door would wake her up so it was safe to go asleep on the couch.

When Catherine came home she found Evelyn sleeping on the couch, it made her smile.

"Hey sleepyhead" she said softly.

Evelyn slowly opened her eyes. When she saw Catherine standing in front of her she shot up.

"Oh, I wanted to be awake when you came home, I'm sorry" she said with a still drowsy voice.

"Are you ok?" Catherine asked while sitting down next to Evelyn.

"I'm fine, why are you asking?" Evelyn lied. She wondered why the hell she had to lie to Catherine, but she just didn't want to bother the older woman now. Catherine looked tired and she didn't want to keep her up any longer than necessary.

"I talked to Sara" Catherine said, knowing Evelyn was trying to spare her. But she was already in till over her shoulders, there was no turning back now.

"Oh" was all Evelyn managed to say.

"I told her that she should listen to you, that she should give you a chance. I said that I also hated what you did but that I forgave you when I heard what your reasons were" Catherine said while taking Evelyn's hand in hers. "I hope she listened to me Evelyn, I hope you two will sort things out"

Evelyn flashed Catherine a faint smile. "Thank you" she whispered, she moved closer to Catherine to hug the older woman.

"Cath, you look tired, you should get some sleep" Evelyn said while pulling back from the hug.

Catherine sighed "Yeah I should. How is Lindsay?"

Lindsay's name seemed to light up Evelyn's eyes "She is fine Cath, don't worry. We had a great day today. She is fast asleep"

Catherine smiled. It was great to have someone around to watch Lindsay, even if it was just for a few days. She figured her sister could use some time off from all the babysitting.

"Thanks" Catherine said while she got up.

"Anytime, I love spending time with Lindsay, she is a great kid" Evelyn said while following Catherine upstairs.

"Goodnight" Evelyn whispered while entering the guest room.

"Goodnight" Catherine whispered back. She checked on Lindsay before going to bed. The young Willows was fast asleep. Catherine sat on the girl's bed and kissed her forehead "I love you baby" she whispered, careful not to wake the girl up.

Sara couldn't catch sleep that morning. Catherine's words kept haunting through her head give her a chance. When I heard her reasons I was able to forgive her. Just listen to her. When Sara decided that sleeping would be no option it was noon and rain was pouring down. Great, just to fit my mood she though looking up at the dark sky. Sara was still in her pyjamas when she heard a knock on the door. She wondered who it would be, most people she knew were asleep by now.

When she opened the door her heart stopped for a second. Of course, who else would it be.

"Can I please come in" Evelyn said. She was soaking wet, it looked like she walked all the way to Sara's apartment through the rain.

Sara didn't say anything, she just opened the door and sat down on her couch. Evelyn softly closed the door and sat down on the other side of the couch.

"I'm sorry if I'm forcing myself onto you. I just really want you to hear me out" Evelyn started.

Sara still didn't know what to say or what to do. Her heart told her to give Evelyn some of her clothes and let her shower to warm up. But her mind told her to kick the gorgeous woman who hurt her out.

When Sara didn't reply, Evelyn decided to just start her story. She realised that it was either open up to Sara and tell her all, or lose the love of her life, because that's what Sara was to her.

"I have never done this before, I never realised I'd hurt people with leaving like this. I'm not used to being cared about." Evelyn sighed and looked at Sara, who was avoiding Evelyn's piercing eyes. "My parents never loved me, they saw me as an attribute, a handy thing they could use for their scams"

Evelyn sighed and continued.

"My parents are crooks. They would use me for one scam or another. Insurance scams, collecting benefits they didn't deserve, stealing from rich people, you name it. When things went wrong they would pack their things, take me and move to another State. It's all I ever learned to do, when things don't go my way I bolt. After I turned 12, I was no longer of use to my parents, I wasn't cute enough anymore, they couldn't use me to charm people anymore." By now Evelyn started sobbing, she couldn't hold back her tears anymore. Sara still sat on the opposite side of the couch, staring at Evelyn in disbelief. She didn't know what to do, so she just let Evelyn talk.

When Evelyn composed herself a little she continued "My father came up with a better use of me, as a punching bag for every time he got frustrated or things went wrong. And my mother, she saw how intelligent I was, and I don't know if she was jealous at that or something, but she made a habit out of bringing me down, she would call me names, tell me I was worthless." Evelyn sighed and continued once again "Every time we moved I'd have to make friends again at school. Because of my low self-esteem, frequent bruises and because I was more intelligent than my peers I got picked on a lot. And once I finally made friends, once I finally started feeling at home, my parents would take me away." Evelyn's face was wet with tears. She hated talking about herself, and even more about her past. Every time she tried, she couldn't help but cry. "Now every time I even feel slightly at home, I get weary. I was weary when I moved in with you, I was scared, but my love for you was bigger than the fear. But when things went wrong here, when Ecklie told me I couldn't work here, I freaked out, I panicked. It felt like the world got swept away from under my feet, I couldn't breathe properly, I had to leave."

Evelyn looked at Sara, who was just staring at her. Evelyn felt so small, so vulnerable. When she told Lindsay about her past, she left out the hard things, so it was a lot easier. Now she felt like her heart was in Sara's hands. If Sara would tell her to leave, her heart would be crushed, God she couldn't even imagine how she would feel. She hoped with every fiber of her being that Sara would say something, even if they could only be friends, she wanted Sara to say something and not send her away.

Sara was still processing what just was revealed to her. She couldn't believe that Evelyn had been through all that. And she finally realised why they had such a strong connection right from the beginning, they were kindred spirits. They both didn't know love as a kid, they both had parents who abused them. Sara was confused about what she was feeling at the moment, yeah she was still mad at Evelyn for bolting, but now she sort of understood why.

Evelyn looked at Sara, with tears in her eyes. She didn't say anything, but her eyes did the talking for her. The longer it took for Sara to answer, or to say something, the more Evelyn's heart sank.

Sara saw Evelyn's eyes speaking volumes to her. Evelyn's eyes told Sara that she was begging for forgiveness, she was begging to be loved. Evelyn looked so adorable and cute. Sara couldn't resist anymore, the look in Evelyn's eyes made her forget about the hurt and the anger she felt earlier.

Sara stood up and Evelyn got up with her, worried that Sara would tell her to leave. Instead of telling her to leave, Sara walked up to Evelyn. Her face came so close to Evelyn's that Evelyn thought Sara was going to kiss her. She could feel the heat building up in her body, she felt goose bumps on her back and a shiver went down her spine. Sara had such a big effect on her, by just standing close to her, Sara was in total control over her.

Stepping closer to Evelyn didn't seem such a good idea. When Sara felt how Evelyn's body reacted to her, it caused a reaction in her own body. She could feel Evelyn's heat, which caused a heat in her body too, settling in her lower abdomen. In a way she was proud of the effect she had on the gorgeous woman standing in front of her. The same woman who was waiting for her to say something, to mend or break her heart.

They stood there for what seemed like an eternity, just staring at each other. They were having a conversation without words. Evelyn's eyes seemed to tell Sara sorry a million times, and Sara's eyes were telling Evelyn that she understood.

Both women had flushed faces. The sexual tension between them seemed to have reached its peak; neither woman knew what to do.

Sara couldn't take the tension anymore. She looked down and grabbed Evelyn's hands into hers. When she looked up at Evelyn, butterflies seemed to wake up in her stomach. Suddenly Sara felt very nervous, like she was about to have her first kiss. She slowly closed her eyes and leaned forward. She already felt intoxicated, things seemed to go by in a blur but when her lips came into touch with Evelyn's she totally lost her ability to think. Sara flicked her tongue over Evelyn's lips, demanding access to Evelyn's mouth. While entering Evelyn's mouth with her tongue, Sara stepped even closer to Evelyn, she couldn't get close enough to this beautiful woman. Her tongue started exploring Evelyn's mouth as if it was the first time they kissed. The kiss got extra meaning to Sara when she felt Evelyn's tears on her own skin, to her it felt amazing.

Evelyn felt like the happiest woman in the world. Sara saved her heart from being crushed, and now that same Sara was kissing her, and not just kissing her, but kissing her breathless. Sara was all that existed in Evelyn's universe, all the rest was not important anymore.

Sara had to pull back for a second to regain her breath. She looked into Evelyn's eyes, which turned to a darker shade of blue, she could see the love in those big blue eyes, the lust, the want. Because Sara's body was touching Evelyn's, she could also feel Evelyn's ragged breath, she was panting. It made her feel proud of herself, that she was the reason for that.

Evelyn was floating on a cloud, and she did not want to come down. She decided to let Sara lead this because she was afraid Sara would pull back if she was trying to take over.

Sara smiled at Evelyn "I'm sorry" she whispered while cupping Evelyn's face "I don't know what to say"

"Thank you" was all Evelyn said, she was still staring at Sara. Tears kept flowing from her eyes, rolling over her cheeks. She couldn't believe how lucky she was. Sara had given her another chance, and she was going to make more than the best out of it.

Sara moved in and kissed Evelyn again. She felt how Evelyn shivered in her arms. Her damp clothes were definitely in the way, but right now that was the least of their worries.

Evelyn felt like her whole body just melted into Sara's. Their kisses were still so hot and filled with love and passion. She knew there would be a lot of talking before things would be ok again, but at least she could still feel Sara's want in her kisses. At least Sara still loved her.

Evelyn pulled back from the kiss to catch her breath. She stared deep into Sara's eyes, the brunette looked exhausted.

"Stay with me while I sleep?" Sara asked Evelyn.

"I would love to" Evelyn smiled. She felt like doing a dance of happiness.