Chapter Twelve-Somewhere Over The Rainbow
An hour before mid-day meal a page came up to me and gave me a simple instruction, "Hir Elrond toltho le."
I hurried to Lord Elrond's study, wondering if it had to do with the stranger, rather this Mithrandir chap, or perhaps I had screwed up and he was on a tear. I never knew. Everybody's so placid around here. It was positively maddening. Upon reaching the study door, I knocked twice crisply and waited. A muffled summons was heard through the door, so I opened it. Sitting at his desk was Elrond and across from him was the mysterious Mithrandir. I entered and nodded to both before I sat down in an available chair. Looking between them didn't determine the reason for my required presence. They were both inscrutable. Both were giving off a vibe of determination and I figured I was going to either get the third degree or get information. I decided to break the ice.
"So, Whatssup?" Nothing but benign looks. I decided to try an off beat tack, "Oh, I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay…" I trailed off at the raised eyebrows. Okay, maybe not everyone's a Python fan.
Elrond finally spoke, "Lady Karyn, I have been thinking about the discussion we had a while ago, and with the arrival of my old friend Mithrandir, I have come to the conclusion you may be well served to speak to him about your issue with reality." It was a nice way of saying, 'hey, you're a nutbar, and here's proof'.
I smiled at Mithrandir and said, "It is a pleasure to meet you sir. I hope I didn't offend you with the 'Lumberjack' song?" If this guy was a wizard, I wasn't sure he wouldn't turn me into a toad or something if he was pissed. My hallucination wasn't following any set of rules I was familiar with and it was unnerving.
The old wizard smiled back at me, "'Lumberjack' song? Is that what you were singing? Hmmm." He stroked his beard and reached for something by his feet.
Lifting it up I saw it was my backpack. Those sneaky so-and-so's! That was private property. I was not pleased.
"This is yours, is it not?" His kind eyes looked into mine. Okay, I'm a softie. Righteous indignation is only good when dealing with bastard employers.
"Yeah. I was coming home from work when I was hit with the branch. I hope you didn't lose anything, cuz I have some important papers in there." I had a tactical plan for a strategic strike and if that got lost, I'd have to start from scratch.
He smiled and shook his head, "No, I assure you, it's all there. But you have some very odd artefacts as well." He pulled out my Sony Walkman and earphones. "What is this?"
"Oh, that's my Sony Walkman. It plays music through the headphones. I listen to it on the bus when I'm going to and from work." I took it from him and placed an ear bud in his ear and held the other one close to Elrond's ear. I pressed 'play' and music by Jennifer Lopez came pouring out. Elrond jumped at the sound, but Mithrandir seemed to take it in stride and was looking at the Walkman in wonder.
"What a wonderful device! There is a woman singing in there. How did you get her in there?" Mithrandir was speaking loudly, so I pressed the 'stop' button and pulled the bud out of his ear.
"It is a technology that employs the use of magnetic recording onto acetate tape. Sounds of any type, most popularly music are recorded. The person will sing into what is called a microphone which then transfers the sound onto the tape via electronic means. The tape can then be copied onto hundreds of other tapes and be sold in retail stores. Or the music on the tape is transferred onto a metal/plastic composite disc, called a compact disc. The sound on a compact disc is clearer and more true to the original recording. As well, it wears longer than acetate tape, and the playing of music from a compact disc repetitively will not cause undue wear and tear on the disc for a markedly longer time than that of acetate tape." I knew I was being technical, but if it meant getting the point across about this being a hallucination and my world being the real world, I'd do what I had to do.
Mithrandir nodded sagely, "Ah. I do not really understand the concepts you have described, but it is interesting. Lord Elrond has told me of your story of your arrival here. It is unusual to say the least. He also informed me of your suspicions that this was a hallucination and the tale of our world being a work of fiction. Very intriguing indeed."
"Well can you blame me? I mean I live in a world that has technology that vastly outstrips yours, has a population of almost seven billion people, no such thing as elves except in works of fiction, and magic is science that we haven't been able to figure out yet. We spent thousands of years watching civilisations rise and fall. Advances in thought and they way we conduct our daily lives, move forward and backward with each collapse of a civilisation. We only have about ten thousand years of written or oral history, but our planet is 4.5 billion years old. Reptiles called dinosaurs ruled the earth for millions of years before a catastrophic event wiped them out." I stood up and paced the floor, "Homo sapiens, which are modern man or human beings, have evolved from single celled amoeba in primordial goop. It is theorised that during the beginnings of our planet, when molten lava hardened into rock formations, and super-heated water evaporated, forming the early atmosphere, life began. We are the culmination of billions of years of evolution. We will continue to advance and collapse as sustainability is thoroughly stretched. That is the world I live in. I will admit I am more educated than the average person, but knowledge is tested and strengthened by questioning, doubting, and demanding proof. The things I have said have undergone rigorous examination by scholars and scientists. Even now, there is still debate about whether fish or birds are the descendants of dinosaurs. We debate string theory and dark matter, and how the universe is made up. Wonder still exists but it is scientific discovery that elicits our awe." I took a deep breath. Passion makes me argue as though my life depended on it and I was deeply passionate about my planet.
Mithrandir chuckled with a deep voice, "I do not doubt the veracity of your claim. I merely ask you to set aside your belief that you are experiencing a hallucination and accept the reality you are currently in." He leaned back in his chair.
Elrond spoke up, "I asked you previously if you could think that your world was the imaginary one. It is clear that you come from a place that is very different from ours. However, I must insist that you recognize my world as being as real as yours. I know it does not seem possible for you to travel between worlds, but somehow you have. You are an educated woman, and you are familiar with many things. Can you not accept what is right in front of your eyes?"
I was having some serious reservations about Elrond's proposal. If I accepted that Arda and everything in it was real, was I sacrificing a part of my sanity? My universe did not include fanciful notions such as elves. Magic really was science that had yet to be explained. Even my abilities, being an empath and seer, which tread quite dangerously on the edge of logic, were explained by a higher usage of the brain. No one really knew what using more than the perceived 1 to 10 of the human brain could entail. My abilities were quite possibly a reflection of a more efficient utilisation of the right frontal lobe. This was the area believed to be responsible for pattern recognition, perception of trends, spatial rotation, and creative solutions. It is extensively connected to the hippocampus, and when stimulated by the hippocampus creates an increased chance for valid pre-cognitive experiences. Basically it boils down to being the area responsible for my odd abilities. So looking at my abilities, which are often dismissed by the scientific community as balderdash, and seeing how I somehow straddle the world of the analytic and ethereal, I needed to fold this new definition of 'what is real' into my current interpretation. I needed time and perhaps a little more evidence. I wasn't sure. I was used to hiding my abilities so I wouldn't be considered a crackpot. My mind almost wanted to dismiss things that weren't a part of the common reality. It wasn't fair to my transcendental side. I needed to treat both halves equally and to accept what was currently happening to me as being real and not a hallucination.
"Lord Elrond, I seem to be entrenched in a bit of an internal war. I need time and perhaps more empirical evidence to help determine the outcome of what could possibly become an intractable situation. I have a lot to mull over and I fear I will walk this path alone as I try to reconcile two entirely different possibilities into one definition of what is real. I hope you understand?" I bit my lower lip in anticipation. I didn't want to get kicked out on my behind for being forthright, but I also didn't want to blindly accede to something that didn't feel right.
Elrond nodded at me, his look dispassionate, "Of course Lady Karyn. I would recommend that you make use of Mithrandir's available knowledge and wisdom. Perhaps he could shed new light on this issue and help clear up what troubles you so."
Mithrandir nodded and smiled kindly at me, "Of course I will assist Lady Karyn. It would be a pleasure to bend the ear of a lovely woman such as yourself." He winked and I relaxed.
The mid-day meal bell rang and Elrond got up from behind his desk. Mithrandir stood also and offered me his arm.
"May I escort you to the meal hall Lady Karyn?" His eyes were warm and I slipped my hand into the crook of his elbow and nodded my assent.
"That would be lovely sir. Thank you." I returned his smile and we all left Elrond's study and went to lunch.
I sat with Mithrandir and Elrond. Erestor sat on the other side of Elrond and seemed to not be paying attention to his meal, instead looking across the hall. I followed his field of vision and spotted Melima. She was smiling in a demure way, looking down at her meal with occasional furtive glances in our direction. Gotcha! I just had visual confirmation of Erestor's interest in Melima. I said nothing but filed the information away for future reference. Knowledge is power, ya know.
After the meal, Mithrandir invited me out for a stroll before I went to help in the gardens. As soon as we got outside he lit his pipe and the familiar smell of pipe tobacco filled the air. It was sweet, and reminded me of my favourite uncle. He was a pipe smoker too. Mithrandir led me to a stone bench in one of the gardens and motioned for me to sit down.
"So, you are having trouble reconciling these two realities that you are experiencing, hmm?" He raised a bushy eyebrow.
"Well yeah. Wouldn't you?" I was perplexed at his casual attitude.
"What would you say if I told you I have seen your world?" Another calm puff of smoke.
"What? What do you mean?" Now he'd really gotten my attention.
"Just what I've said my dear lady. I have seen your world. More precisely, I've seen you in your world." My jaw dropped in shock. He took another calm puff on his pipe.
I gibbered, gasping like a salmon that'd been unceremoniously plunked into the stern of some sports fisherman's craft. How? Why? What the bloody hell? I said as much.
Mithrandir laughed a deep chest rumbling laugh. It bounced off the walls of the nearest building and rolled into the afternoon light.
"My dear girl, do you really think the veil that separates our respective worlds is that thick? I can assure you, it is not. You have seen things too. Not of our world, but others. You travel on a spirit plane, I have seen it. You have many lives and come with a message for your world that they are not ready to hear." He leaned back and took a deep puff, looking inscrutable.
Boy, he was reading me like the morning newspaper. It was frightening.
"What have you seen, exactly? Of my world, I mean." I swallowed, not sure if I was ready for the answer.
"You live in a city much larger than any here on Arda. It lies between the ocean and the mountains. There are very tall buildings that seem to scrape the sky. Contraptions race along blackened roads at unfathomable speeds. You work in a building that is on a busy street, but is far from the centre of the city. You help people with aspects of their work I do not quite understand. I've seen you walking alongside numbers of people giving encouragement, and talking sternly to other people who want to cross through the people you stand with. You seem formidable." He looked at me and grinned, "How am I doing so far?"
"Batting a thousand," I said. Noticing his quizzical look I added, "You are correct. But I still don't get how…"
"How do you see the things you see?" He threw back at me, "It does not differ with me. You are connected to the universe in a very deep way. You see truth and possibility. You know I speak the truth."
I knew he spoke the truth. I knew he really saw me and saw between Arda and Earth. He knew all my secrets, but I could trust him.
"Why? Why was I sent here? I still have work to do before I leave Earth. I can't be done. I haven't even given the message yet!" I felt a twinge of fear as I thought I may not be able to get home and finish what I was sent to do.
"I do not know for sure why Eru sent you, but I have a very good idea from what I've seen." Mithrandir clasped my hand, "The people you must tell are not ready, isn't that what you've sensed?"
"Yeah," I nodded, "I've come too soon for them, but I know there isn't much time before it happens. They're in for a huge learning curve and they won't be prepared for what's to come. I feel like it shouldn't be me giving the message. I'm not big enough. Oprah could do it better." I felt my insecurities creep in. I started to fight tears as I choked, "I can't stop loving them. Seven billion human beings and I love them all. It's like it just pours out of me. Even though, rationally, I know they're not worth it. They have been a disappointment over and over again, engaging in behaviour that is not acceptable. But still, this love just pours out of me like some irrational behaviour. I feel torn, like I'm losing my mind, but I just can't stop." I whispered, "I just don't know what to do." Big fat tears rolled down my cheeks and I knew my eyes were reddened and the dark green had brightened in sharp relief against the red. The green would be the colour of oak leaves, almost bordering on grass. I sniffled and wiped at the tears.
He rubbed my hand and smiled gently, "I know. I can sense it from you. You aren't losing your mind."
"I want to tell them they're not alone and they are loved," I whispered between sniffles.
"I know. I know." He put his hand on my back, "I think that's why you are here. You are worn from your battle and you've absorbed so much of the pain that is felt in your world. I believe Eru has given you a rest from the strain. Take the rest. For I do not know when it will end."
I started crying full out, with streams of tears on my face and phlegmy goop in my nose and throat. My body shook with silent sobs as I let out all the tension I had been holding for God only knew how long. I wiped my face with my sleeve and hugged Mithrandir tightly.
"Thank you." I mumbled into his shoulder, "Thank you for not thinking I'm nuts and knowing who I really am. Thank you for not judging me or making me feel foolish. Thank you for accepting me. You are one of a very small number who know what I am and can do, and you are part of an even smaller company who do not judge me."
I pulled away and looked into his eyes. They were full of compassion and kindness. He leaned over and rubbed my shoulder.
"Go on and get cleaned up. I will let the gardeners know you are coming. We will speak again." He got up and moved off in the direction of the vegetable gardens.
I sat for a moment, clearing my head and wiping away the tears before I felt I could make it to my room to wash my face and change into my work clothes. I would take what Mithrandir said to heart. The reality of Arda set in and I felt almost relieved.
Hir Elrond toltho le – Lord Elrond summons you
"The Lumberjack Song" – Monty Python's Flying Circus (1969 C)