Heka: Okay, I told myself that after five reviews, I'd do a chapter two!
Shigure: Cheers! Can I have some popcorn? I really want to see this…
Dark: You evil, evil, evil, person…
Shigure: I am the way I am and there's nothing you pretty boy can do about it.
Dark: I am not pretty!
Shigure: Oh yeah, sure, ask all the people who read this story…
Dark: I am just devastatingly good-looking.
Shigure: Like that's any difference.
Heka: Enough! I'd like to thank all my readers, for coming up with great ideas for Riku to torture Dark with…
Riku: Sshhh! I want to copy them down!
Dark: My, my… wife!
Riku: Not in this life.
Shigure: That rhymed.
Dark: Shut up, worthless author. But in this story… how'd you find out the answer to the riddle so quickly anyway?
Riku: I catalogued every item in the castle into my… little black book.
Dark: She is creepy.
Shigure: She has a black book? I thought Satoshi, that blue-haired guy would be the one with a black book…
Heka: See! Our banter has taken up one-third of the page and I'm typing in font 10 size! My readers are, as follows in order of reviews:
Lilangelrishi
Existence92
Asnwater
Star-chan
Anon. (my friend – the fifth review!)
Nicolet
Shigure, Dark, Riku: YAAY!
Heka: Pffft. Oh, this story's been added to the community, Damage Control, a fantastic Dark x Riku community. Thank you readers!
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There she was. Sitting on the bed wearing nothing other than what was necessary for their… night time activities, no more than three feet away from him, and he felt like she was in another universe.
He sighed. It was after the ball. They had spent a very successful night in each other's arms, looking like the perfect couple while all the time under that peaceful façade was a raging battle, him pleading softly with her as they twirled dangerously around the dance floor, and she standing her ground, stating that he had to do whatever she said; while the cheeky ruby necklace dangled mockingly around her throat.
If only he was more careful!
He cursed himself softly. She heard the sigh, and looked up, her large caramel eyes glowing innocently in the dim light.
'You know… if you don't want to do this, it's perfectly alright- '
He held up his hand and smiled. He knew better than to decline.
'No. I'd do anything for my charming wife.'
She gave him a slight shrug and lay on the bed, her night gown outlining her perfect body in the light, taunting him with its promise. With a small smile, she closed her eyes with a sigh, knowing that he was positively dying to get onto the bed with her.
'Now you know what to do. I want to hear every word from you in this room.'
He turned away with another long-suffering sigh.
'And I'll leave the door closed.'
'Your mercy touches me.'
'Do this and there'll be more than my mercy touching you.'
There was a short gasp from the bed as she realised what she just said. He grinned and tucked his hands into his pockets, savouring the view.
'I see I'm rubbing off you.'
She sat up, gracing him with a glare which nearly knocked him off his feet.
'I bet even Risa and Satoshi don't have this much trouble,' he muttered, reluctant to leave the room.
'Oh, with Risa around… I bet you they have more. Now stop procrastinating, dear.' She smiled and gave him a small flick of her hand. 'Come, come, time's a-wasting and I'm getting tired…'
He shot her a half-hearted glare.
She blew him a kiss.
Finally, he walked out of the room. As he closed the door, he heard her voice, muffled by the soft bed, call him.
'And I'll be sending With and Saehara down to follow you, so that you do exactly what I say.'
He swore softly. She always was one for detail. He just found out she had listed down every item in the castle just to beat him at the riddles…
He looked down as the fluffy rabbit/dog hybrid appeared at his feet and 'kyuu'ed cheerfully at him. With was completely loyal to him since they were young, but apparently the recent appearance of copious amounts of strawberries and strawberry jam at his bedside seemed to have wavered his pet's faithfulness.
And he knew just who had sent them.
Damn, she was going out of her way for this.
Within minutes, the loud courtier had emerged and was carrying a suspicious bundle of cloths.
'Her Majesty stated that I had to watch you get into this, and follow you around, making sure that you are in fact, going where she said you were supposed to go, and doing whatever she said.'
He flushed after that sentence. Her Majesty was cruel. After entering the palace, she had sent the entire system into flummox, revealing her terrible fascination for organisation and control, and had successfully scared every one of the servants into submission.
Her Majesty was cruel.
He sighed again and took the attire, giving Saehara a look which only men would understand.
Saehara shook his head sadly. 'I'm sorry, I cannot help you here. Her Majesty has… many walls.'
He blinked once. 'Right.'
'Walls have ears, sire,' Saehara added helpfully.
He rolled his eyes mentally and then strolled into a room to change.
'Tomorrow…' he promised himself.
She would pay.
But tonight…
He probably was never going to live this down.
Pulling on the dreaded cloth, he exited the room and struck a pose.
Saehara clapped dutifully. With 'kyuu'ed happily, probably thinking of the strawberries he was going to get for tonight's job.
'Very fetching, sire. I like the way it hangs off your… everything.'
'Don't.'
It had clearly been made for a man thrice his waist size. Saehara looked up, suddenly remembering something.
'Ah, yes. She said that if this happened, I had to stuff you.'
He blinked.
What the… Of all the…
He seemed to be frozen in a dream- no, nightmare, as Saehara stuffed cotton mechanically into his suit.
'And… she wanted to see you before you left.'
He sighed and stumbled his way towards their room. When the door opened, she turned around and smiled at him, her gown hanging off her front precariously and her hair tousled just so damn erotically that he would have killed to get onto the bed with her.
He gritted his teeth, half in agony and in anger. She… she was just doing this to torture him… to…
'Ah… excellent,' she smiled sleepily. 'That'll do. Go on.'
He took a deep breath and left her room, closing the door.
He cleared his throat self-consciously, his mind arguing furiously with his heart, telling him that this wasn't worth it.
'Ohhh!'
'Very nice, darling. I can hear you perfectly,' she called back from inside the room. 'Five rounds! Remember that!'
He began to stomp, trying to get himself into the head of a large, pink, fluffy sheep.
'Ahem…' he began uncertainly.
Saehara nodded encouragingly.
He gave the courtier a withering stare. He really didn't need this kind of… behaviour now.
'Riku… had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb!' he bellowed into the night, prancing along the castle corridor, Saehara and With following him quietly, Saehara secretly telling himself to never get a wife like Her Majesty.
'Riku had a little lamb whose fleece was as pink as floss!'
His first shock had been when he saw his personal butler come out of the servant's quarters. The poor old man had frozen in his steps, having seen the man whom he watched grow up for the last twenty-six years dance around in a large, pink grotesque-looking sheep costume.
And to add horrors upon horrors, he was fat.
His mind wasted no time in giving the badly traumatised man a pleading look for him to understand the situation he was in. Please understand, my wife- women, married life, and she won't let me on the bed if I don't do this-
His butler barely blinked, presumably getting the message.
'Riku had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb!'
Right, his mind tried to tell itself. She said five rounds. This was barely half a round and he had sung the songs at least three times, scared the living daylights out of all the servants of the castle and was probably never, ever going to be able to put his face in a good light in this castle ever again.
His own home!
'Riku had a little lamb, whose fleece was as pink as floss!'
He stopped for a short break to regain his breath.
There was a polite cough behind him.
Turning around, he saw Saehara and With waiting expectantly.
As he stared at them in slight disbelief, With's ears twitched and he began to growl softly.
Dark shot the animal a glare and muttered to himself, 'Ungrateful creature. Betraying me for strawberries…'
He took another deep breath. If he wasn't going to complete this, he'd never be able to sleep well ever again.
'Riku had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb!'
Soon he learnt how to block the unforgiving stares, the blankly horrified looks that his servants were giving him, and the fact that they were forgetting that he was King…
She had better be listening.
'Riku had a little lamb, whose fleece was as pink as floss!'
He stopped. Now what?
He had danced his way out of the castle (thank all the Heavens) and was now standing at the courtyard, standing a couple of floors below their bedroom.
He had danced five rounds. Saehara and With were now retreating respectively back into their beds. He knew he danced five rounds. He better have had danced five rounds. And she better be-
He stopped. He glanced up at the silent bedroom.
His mind clicking an idea together, he narrowed his eyes.
He was still a Phantom Thief right?
Once a Phantom Thief, always a Phantom Thief, his dad always said.
Slipping off the hated suit, he stood alone under the stars and stared up to the silent bedroom… and smiled.
'And everywhere that Riku went, Riku went, Riku went…' he whispered to himself as he continued staring up at the bedroom balcony, calculating the smoothness of the rock. 'And everywhere that Riku went, the lamb was sure to go…'
He began to climb, trusting in the climbing ropes he always had worn on his wrists. As he climbed, he couldn't help singing, his mind still stuck in the Mad Sheep Mode.
'It followed her to bed one night, bed one night, bed one night…'
He reached the balcony, hoisted himself up easily over the stone rail and onto the marble floor. He remembered, this was how he used to meet her, by the moon light, at the balcony railing. Back then, she would have thrown a random piece of pottery in his face and shriek at him for being a pervert.
So long ago. Now she was stuck with him, till death do them part, and even at the ever after, he'd find her again, because the afterlife wouldn't be much of a life without her.
'It followed her to bed one night, which wasn't against the rules…'
Creeping into the bedroom, he let the breath he didn't know he was holding out in a whoosh.
She was sleeping.
Wait, she was sleeping?
He was furious. He had just thrown his face out of the window and she was SLEEPING?
He stood over the bed, contemplating what to do with her the next night. Technically, she still had control tonight, but she was sleeping.
Damn her.
As he scratched his chin slowly, staring at the ceiling while thinking, she peeked with one open eye.
And smiled.
Twisting herself quickly, she swept him off his feet for the second time in the night.
Damn, he was losing touch! He cursed as he hit the floor hard. Now fully awake, she sat up on the bed and laughed.
'Did you really think I'd be sleeping, on a night like this?'
'Women. You never know what they'd be thinking of...'
She looked absolutely delicious, sitting there, her hair whimsically windswept after her nap on the bed. He swallowed, not only to cover his gasp of pain, as she helped him up.
She smiled innocently as he sat on the bed next to her gingerly.
'I heard your song, as you climbed the wall.'
'Was I really that loud?'
'I have good ears,' she smiled serenely. 'Achieved after years of listening out for perverts at my window.'
'You married one.'
'Yes, after he promised he'd act perverted to only one person: me.'
'Bitch,' he said fondly.
'Thank you. Now about your song, you haven't seemed to complete it…'
'Would you do the honours then?'
She grinned, and locked her arms around his neck.
'It made,' she whispered into his ear, 'poor Riku,' here he snorted softly, his arms similarly going around her waist, 'laugh and play, laugh and play, laugh and play…'
She kissed him full on the lips.
'It made… poor Riku… laugh and play, to see her lamb in bed.'
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Heka: I am such a hentai!
Dark: It was beautiful… (cries)
Heka: I'm going to up the rating. It'd be T now, or else fan-fiction's coming after me with a knife… and I got the song, in its full glory there! Yay!
Shigure: I am never going to hear 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' in the same light again. This is a nursery rhyme!
Heka: Pffft. So? People who read this aren't toddlers!
Dark: Double meanings! Give glory for double meanings!
Heka: Please review!