I'm sorry for this guys! I didn't ever find my hard copy, I hope this lives up to it; I wrote the hard copy at a very romantic time in my life, so the romance was a lot better I'm sure since this point in my life is anything but...sighs... I hope you can deal anyway. The real good stuff comes in the next chapter. Enjoy!
Chapter Ten: Stop Twenty-Seven, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, The United States
"Wow," Mitsuki laughed softly as she peered into the glass. "So their entire Constitution is on that one small piece of paper?"
"That's what the brochure says," Takuto jested, and she smacked him playfully as they continued on their tour. "Personally, I think this is one of the more boring cities."
Mitsuki gasped, offended, "What are you talking about? This is where the history of the United States was written! This is where all those fabulous dreams were made!"
"Only one problem," Takuto interjected. "All those fabulous people were from Boston."
She rolled her eyes sarcastically and tried to focus on what the tour guide was saying, but there were two things that distracted her. One was the fact that she couldn't understand most of the English, and the second was that Takuto had gotten that far-off, spaced-out look that he seemed to be getting more often of late. What was he thinking about? But when she thought about it she knew it was a stupid question. She knew exactly what he was thinking about, and why he was being so distant. She bit her lip slightly and frowned, the lines in her forehead creasing as she examined him.
"Hey, if you stay like that you might wrinkle at a young age," he teased, coming out of his daze and seeing her distressed look.
She smiled weakly but still glanced at him warily; there was something not right in the way he looked at her. He had so many questions that he was still too scared to voice, and she could never answer.
"I never would have thought that his memories coming back would be the thing to distance you two," Izumi laughed maliciously, hovering in an inclined position above her head. Takuto had been making his job extremely easy, and Mitsuki assumed he was basking in the joy of his recent stroke of good luck. He'd been taunting her like this for weeks now, but she simply brushed it off, especially when she was around Takuto. Another outburst like her last could end everything she'd striven to accomplish between them. Instead, she opted for an angry glower when Takuto had turned his attention back to the tour guide who was now discussing the Liberty Bell and its strange origin that dated back to the fiftieth anniversary of William Penn's Charter.
Mitsuki resumed her concentration on the guide and tried not to let her own dark thoughts absorb her. What were the secrets Izumi was working so hard to protect? All this time she'd worried over getting Takuto to remember, watching him fret over answers he possibly didn't want. She'd never stopped to consider that maybe there were answers for her too, answers that she didn't want.
Izumi wandered through the streets of downtown Philadelphia, trying to find any sort of entertainment to amuse his pain-stricken heart. He would never admit it, but working so hard to keep Takuto and Mitsuki apart, and dealing with their obvious love for each other, was not only exhausting, but terrifying. A little voice in his heart nagged at him, what if he had been wrong about Mitsuki and Takuto? What if true love did exist, and what if he…he stopped, refusing to let himself contemplate even the notion. It was impossible; he was a Shinigami, bound to his fate for ending his life, and that was it.
In a fit of frustration, he screamed out, but even in the crowds below no one heard him. They carried on their meaningless lives, and he watched on, hopeless and destitute. Meaningless as it seemed on the outside, on the inside, life was pure and sweet and innocent. It was something that sometimes burned so badly you thought you would fall to your feet and weep and other times would be so cold you were sure that the only thing to do was to laugh with someone you cared about to keep you warm. It was something that was given only once; something that only lasted an allotted time. Something he should have cherished; why did he throw it all away?
"Mama, why are you crying?" A small boy with dirty, unkempt blond hair looked down at his mother with loving eyes as she lie on the floor in an unrecognizable heap. Her hair was strewn about her wildly; large patches of it were missing. A familiar scent filled the boy's nose, a scent that always seemed to trail his mother- a pinch of salty tears mixed with a whole lot of blood. Her arms were trembling as she tried to shelter her face from her son; those same arms that were covered in fingernail scratches that were already becoming infected and oozing puss and blood. "Mama," in his naivety, he reached down to console the bleeding woman, but she was an animal, a terrified, wild animal.
She reached out to him in what he thought would be a kind embrace. Instead, she grasped a clump of his hair tight in her hands and threw him into a nearby wall, rising from her destroyed position on the floor, "You are just like him," she whispered vehemently, nearing.
"No, mama, mama, please," he began to beg, pleading as if it was for his life, but she didn't falter in her approach, not even for a moment to look at the terrified eyes of her only son.
The vision cleared, and Izumi's head spun angrily as he dropped to the bayside; he hadn't realized he'd traveled so far, "No," he whispered softly. "I will not remember. I will not!" as if a challenge to the gods, he jumped into the air with a vengeance, ready to fight any who came his way.
"So I see the tables have turned."
He wheeled around, nostrils flaring in rage, but as soon as he saw his confronter, his expression softened, "Me-chan."
"Izumi-kun," she whispered, hovering there, his angel. She was so simply garmented, so beautiful, even lacking her hair, a single tear-drop lining her face. She was forever burdened by the sad tales of the memories that she carried. He didn't have that problem, nor did he intend to acquire it. "Can you not see that they are in pain? Can you not see that they yearn only to be together? Let them be together Izumi-kun, let them be together. I know that there is still a heart in you somewhere, please."
The soft tone of her pleading voice touched a chord in him, especially with the memory he'd just encountered. He'd been in her position once, begging someone he cared for to spare him, as Me-chan begged him for him to spare someone she cared about. But why should he? No one had ever returned the kindness to him. When in his life had he ever been rewarded? When had he ever been shown undue kindness? Never. Life was unfair; it was far past time Mitsuki learned that. Her incessant good luck brought a renewed anger to his chest; one that would have pushed him away except for the sad look upon his angel's soft face.
"You're hurt badly Izumi-kun, I know this," she told him, approaching so they were so near he could smell the soft scent of roses that seemed to follow her. "But that does not mean you have to continue the cycle. Can't you see their eyes? Izumi-kun, doing this could save not only them, but-"
"I am a slave to only my duty Me-chan; you seem to know much, then you would be wise to remember that," and as soon as the words escaped his throat he regretted them, even more so when she nodded slowly, eyes lowered, and faded away. He didn't call for her this time though, not today. Such a fire burned in him today that he could barely face himself let alone an entity as pure as Meroko. He didn't deserve her, and she knew it too. Pushing her away was the only thing that could save them both, though he may as well be damned to wander the earth as a ghost. He knew one thing for sure; there could be no more of this remembering. He would have to banish everything out of his mind, and with this goal in his heart, he nodded to himself, refocused on his mission, and set off to relieve Jonathan.
"Come on Takuto, hurry up!" Mitsuki urged, bouncing up the steps energetically.
Takuto trod slowly behind her, trying not to pant, all the while feeling he was a ninety year old man that had just been hit by a truck. She'd been at this all day, dragging him all over the city, onto buses and subways and walking block upon block upon endless block. And if that wasn't enough (it was in Takuto's mind) she'd drug him to the Philadelphia Art Museum, painful enough in itself without its mountain of insurmountable steps. And now, here they were, going up more steps to another museum, the Franklin Institute of Science and Technology. As they waited in yet another line for security before they were granted entrance to the museum, he cursed Benjamin Franklin under his breath. The nerve of the man to found an institute of learning with so many steps!
Fortunately, the Institute was not what he'd expected upon entering, a stuffy place full of old trinkets with no more practical use all written about in heavily flourished golden writing beneath their glass display. It was actually quite the opposite; a building full of extraordinary wonders of the past with prototypes and models that he could actually experiment with. It was during one of these experiments that he was painfully reminded of how much he still cared for Mitsuki, despite his attempt to distance himself emotionally.
He looked up from toying with a model telegram and found Mitsuki had vanished. Assuming she'd run off to play with another of the machines nearby, he didn't concern himself with it. When she hadn't returned in five minutes though, he began to get worried. When ten minutes passed, he called out for her, then, when he got no answer, his heart began to race. She was there just a moment ago, where could she have gone? What if she had been hurt? No, the rational part of his mind tried to calm him, she would have called out for help. No one steals a grown woman from under her escort's nose in broad daylight. Besides, it's the city of brotherly love. Somehow that thought didn't seem to calm him any, Philadelphia had a notorious record for street crime and violence, along with most major American cities. They had more killings than births and weddings combined, so many each day that the names rarely made it to the six o'clock news anymore. Where was the world coming to?
He shook out his thoughts, standing here berating himself for stupidity was not going to help him find her any faster.
Moving quickly into the next room, he stopped for only a moment to gaze at the room's only exhibit; a giant model heart complete with slides as valves and everything. Just to the side, his eyes fell upon Mitsuki, and he could safely resume breathing. Only when he saw she wasn't alone did a new emotion rise in his chest- jealousy. She was with a boy that seemed to be a couple years older than she and extremely handsome on top of that. His hair was a flawless black except for a few red highlights that accented his high cheek bones and gorgeous sapphire eyes. He smiled easily and sported dimples when he did. Takuto knew his sort by the way he flirted and teased in broken Japanese and segmented English. That was the sort he'd been competing with his whole life, and he wasn't about to let Mitsuki fall under his spell.
Puffing his chest out slightly by taking a deep breath, he sauntered over to where the two stood, "Mitsuki-chan!" he called, never taking his eyes from her as she turned and looked at him, confused at his sudden warmth toward her. "You scared me, I was looking everywhere for you; you shouldn't just-" he trailed off as Mitsuki's eyes moved toward the boy next to her. He turned to him, pretending to notice him as if it was the first time he'd seen him. "Hello."
"Takuto, this is Jared, a student at a music university near here; he's minoring in Japanese," Mitsuki introduced the two, and Takuto offered a stiff hand.
"Nice to meet you," he mumbled, and the boy's eyes glinted and he nodded, taking the hand. So it was understood, but the boy wouldn't back off; Takuto's obvious interest only made Mitsuki more intriguing.
Mitsuki watched the two, sensing a tension but not quite understanding.
"What college did you say you were attending?" Takuto spoke slowly, annunciating every word.
"Takuto," Mitsuki whispered harshly. "He's not stupid, you're being rude."
"Sorry," he apologized quickly, but the boy waved it off.
"Juilliard, it's in New York, I'm here on a modeling shoot," he rolled his eyes, as if burdened by his good looks. "I heard Mitsuki-san talking to herself in Japanese and figured I'd work on my Japanese; it's a bit rusty."
Takuto tried to keep the glower off his face.
"So I hear you're some famous singer in Japan?" he laughed slightly. "The odds are incredible. We have to study all kinds of music in class; I haven't come across yours yet though."
"You American-" Mitsuki's hand on Takuto's arm was the only thing that prevented his words. Instead, he fell back, simmering.
"If you don't believe us," Mitsuki teased, and Takuto's anger rose; she was flirting just as much as he was! "Then you should come to our concert and find out," she pulled a ticket from her purse and handed it to him, "tonight."
"I wouldn't miss it for the world; it was nice meeting you," he grinned at Takuto and took Mitsuki's hand delicately, placing a soft kiss on the top of it. They held one another's eyes for what Takuto thought was an eternity before Mitsuki's blushed softly, giggled, and he let go of her hand.
The strange girl from his visions appeared in his mind; the girl he knew now to be Full Moon. She was sitting across from a boy on a boat, and he was reaching in to kiss her. Takuto was watching the scene, fuming, ready to leap. But…if they were on a boat how was he watching?
He dropped to his knees, his head spinning.
"Dammit Mitsuki!" for a split second he thought he saw someone floating in the air, berating Mitsuki for something, and then it was gone.
"Takuto!" Mitsuki flung herself by his side, holding his shoulders tightly. Jared was hovering nearby, demanding to know if he was okay, if he should go get help.
"I'm fine," Takuto growled, pushing Mitsuki aside viciously. "I just need air." He pulled himself up and walked away, not even caring if she followed or not. He just needed to get her, them, out of his head. Everyone.
"Takuto, they're expecting us at the Spectrum," Mitsuki whispered from the wrong side of a closed door.
"Yeah, all right, I'll be there," he answered, and tears welled in her eyes.
"Do you want me to wait?"
"No, go on ahead, I'll be right behind you," his voice sounded hollow, and pain filled her so she was sure she would explode from it.
"Okay," she dropped the hand that was lying on the doorknob and walked down the empty hallway, off to find Ooshige.
His eyes never left the audience but he didn't see any of them, not the countless girls screaming his name, not even the guy from that day, nothing mattered but the emotions that came out. For his encore there was only one thing he had the strength left to sing, and it would take the most strength of all, "I uh…" he smiled weakly. "I wrote this today, actually, so the guys don't know it, sorry," he apologized quickly to them. The drummer rose his sticks and grinned at him; Takuto managed a weak grin back and then turned back to the audience. "So you'll just have to deal with it," he joked in broken English, and the audience screamed their approval at his rebellion. "It's, well, it's about a girl," he didn't dare even turn his eyes to Mitsuki. He knew if he did he wouldn't be able to get the words out. "It's sorta about a girl who means everything to me and sorta about a girl who broke my heart, and it's called 'The One', so here goes."
When the first chords of the melody began, Mitsuki sank to her knees and stared helplessly out at him, wondering what she'd done. Even Izumi was silenced by the quiet tears that streamed down her cheeks as Takuto sang his hurtful words, but he was hurt too, deeply, and Mitsuki knew when two people in love were hurt there was still hope. There could still be a way to fix it.
"You've been lying
And I know it
I've been crying
My eyes show it
But here are my scars
This is mind
You can dig through it
Won't like what you find
But I don't know who I am anymore
I don't really know what's in store (for me)
'Cause wasn't I the one you ran to?
Wasn't I the one you called?
Wasn't I the one who loved you?
(When no one else would)
Wasn't I the one who caught your fall?
And maybe the world is forgettin'
In this dark realm that we live in
But just in case you're wonderin'
You aren't forgiven, not now, not ever
Just hold up your hands and surrender
Try to give back those words in that letter
There are times when I'm around you
That I can't even think to breathe
But there are times when the weather is blue
That I wish the images in my head would leave
Who are you, do you know me?
Can I love you, when I don't see?
Could this life really be?
Could there ever ever be a we?
I'm not so sure anymore
Maybe it's time I settle the score
Maybe it's time you walk out the door
Will I stop you like I did before?
'Cause I don't know who I am anymore
I don't really know what's in store (for me)
But wasn't I the one you ran to?
Wasn't I the one you called?
Wasn't I the one who loved you?
(When no one else would)
Wasn't I the one who caught your fall?
This night I sat alone in a dark room
Thinking of the all the lessons you taught me
Wondering why the darkness still looms
I think there's still something I don't see
Maybe it's another
Maybe it's your mother
Maybe it's the one who died
Maybe it's some other lie
But I don't care, don't you see?
I don't care who I used to be
All I want is for you and me
To be together, why can't we?
But then, maybe I'm the one who's forgettin'
Of the dark realm that I lived in
And just in case you're wonderin'
I can't forgive you, not now not ever…"
Even while the crowd was still roaring, Takuto slipped his guitar off his head and walked backstage; he didn't even glance at Mitsuki's crumpled form as he walked by her, but he knew she was there without looking. He could feel her presence.
Mitsuki's presentation was almost as heart wrenching, though for her encore she chose a song that reverberated much more hope than Takuto's. At first he'd refused to listen, afraid to get caught in her snare again, but when she made her introduction to her encore he was drawn from his hiding spot in the back and crept to just behind the curtain where he could safely watch her performance, "This song is called 'On Loan' and it's for someone who stole my heart once a long time ago, and I thought I'd forgotten him, but… he's just one of those people you can't forget," she smiled warmly, and the crowd jumped and screamed. When she turned to see if he was there, he was caught in her smile, cursing himself for weakness, he stayed in her gaze. He liked it there, the only one in her eyes; it was so peaceful. When she began to sing, she held his eyes, refusing to let him go.
"I guess I thought it'd be like old times
Should've known I can't reinvent what's already passed
Somehow I'd hoped you'd bring me alive
But how can you reincarnate what you don't know has died?
I miss you, I'm sorry
I'm alone here, have you forgotten me?
I know it sounds tired and trite
But really-really I'm not all right
I never got over you you know
I thought I had- and then you came home
And everything I forgot began to show
My heart was just temporarily on loan
I tried to give it away to someone else
They didn't realize they just got a shell
Maybe...maybe that's how it all fell
Maybe...maybe it's time that I tell
And I sit here and ponder
I cry here and simply wonder
When all my friends were gone
You were always the strong one
So where are you now when they've all gone away?
Where are you now, should I have told you today?
This secret is heavy upon my shoulders
That lesson you taught; I still haven't learned it
It was always so hard when it came down to it
How can I ask you this- I'll never live through it
So I guess I thought time would destroy it
But those words haunt me still, who would have guessed it?
Yeah there were others, replacements at best
But not one could meet the standards you rewrote on my test
For some unknown reason you shine above the rest
Go ahead and laugh, I'll pretend it's a jest
So I sit here and think- why didn't I ask him?
I was speechless, only eleven again
I'm older now, but I'm not any wiser
I reach out to him, trying to get further, higher
Didn't I ever tell you you were my freshman fantasy?
Didn't I ever mention you were my sophomore dream?
I guess it's time you knew you were my junior theme
And maybe I'm older, stronger, but this still can't be
But for tonight, simply humor me
Let me lie my head upon your chest
Tell me stories of all that you've seen
And tonight, I'll finally get some rest..."
When the song was over, she dropped her gaze and replaced the microphone, "Good night everyone!" she called, and received a hearty "Mitsuki! Mitsuki! Mitsuki!" in response.
"Mitsuki, this boy says he knows you," after the show while Mitsuki was talking with her band, Ooshige walked in, Jared by her side. Her manager looked wary, remembering quite clearly what happened last time a boy said he knew her fledgling.
Mitsuki smiled and ushered him forward, "Yeah, it's okay Ooshige-san," she answered, and Ooshige nodded once and turned around. Takuto, who was also there but had emersed himself in a conversation with his lead guitarist, looked up, scowled, and turned back to his conversation. Mitsuki bit her lower lip before focusing her attention back to Jared who seemed to be amazed, "Wow, you were, incredible," he commented, and she blushed and thanked him softly in English. "I had no idea, you both were incredible," he looked to Takuto to address him as well, but the blue haired singer wanted nothing to do with the model who was trying to steal the love of his life.
Undeterred, he returned to Mitsuki, "I guess I shouldn't have doubted you. That last song was very, moving."
"Thank you," she felt stupid, but had no idea what to say. She was used to praise, but this was different; he was very handsome, and he seemed genuine. She supposed he appreciated talent in the business he was in. Sometimes talent was hard to come by, especially in music.
"I know it's late, but would you be interested in grabbing a cup of coffee? I know this really great place nearby; wow, this is totally generic, but-"
Takuto's ears perked up, and his attempts at conversation shattered, but he refused to turn around and express his dislike of the idea. He was finished with her; she could do whatever she wanted with whomever she wanted; he didn't care.
"Um…" when Takuto didn't meet her eyes, they dropped.
"It would be good for you Mitsuki," Ooshige whispered for her ears alone and then disguised it with, "You don't have anything to do tomorrow, and we're leaving in two days," she said it like a proper manager, and Mitsuki nodded.
"All right, that sounds nice."
He grinned and offered an arm, which she took hesitantly. As they walked out, she took one last glance toward Takuto who turned his back to her, picked up his guitar, and walked the other way. Her heart shattered, but if he wasn't going to love her, she should be allowed to have fun. Besides, nothing was going to happen; she promised herself that.