This is not edited in any way whatsoever, I just finished it late tonight. It's late, I know, it's always late though, and I've had months of testing and projects, going days without the least bit of sleep. I have a state competition in the next few days for a select spot of one team in the state to compete in a National Competition in July. I have a million tests to take and a thousand projects to finish. Finals are coming up, give me a break I'm at my breaking point! Not to mention I haven't been able to read at all and reading helps me to become inspired, and I haven't really left my school in the last five months or so, so going outside to be inspired has not been a possibility either. As for this story, almost finished, hope that you're not too too angry, sorry to the people that are, but if it weren't for the constant reminders that I'm a lazy bum who needs to update I probably never would, so don't forget to keep sending the encouragement my way! Oh, did I mention I was sorry for the grammar and the spelling? I'm sorry.

Chapter Eleven: What is Fair in Love and War

"Okay, Miss Kouyama, we've covered the weather, debated the ideals of our societies, bantered about the ideas of music theory and somehow skirted past any of your own music," he joked as Mitsuki took a sip of her second cappuccino.

"Well," she smiled as she set the cup down, "what is it you want to know?"

"It seems to me that I know why you sing- for love, that's clear, and I know how you sing- very well, but I don't know for whom you sing."

"Ah ha," her mood darkened. "If I told you I'd have to tell the rest of the world too, because they're all dying to know."

He laughed, "All right, all right, I'll let you off, this time, only because I'm a good guy and I have my last shoot in six hours and need my beauty sleep."

She giggled, finished her coffee, watched him pay and headed out with him. They walked quickly and quietly back to the car, because thought it was a nice part of the city, it was still almost three o'clock in the morning.

Yet, once they were safely in the car, conversation began again and carried all the way back to Mitsuki's hotel. She was comfortable with him, not safe, as she was with Takuto, but happy all the same. It'd been a long time since she'd felt free of pain, and she intended to make the most of this new found freedom without jeopardizing anything with Takuto.

Almost before she knew it, she was sitting in his car outside her hotel, "Here we are," he put the car in park and looked up to the penthouse windows where he was sure she'd be staying. "I- had a great time," he fumbled for the words he sought. "Is there anyway I could see you tomorrow?"

"I-"

"Please- please don't say no," he pleaded, and she acquiesced. "Great, here's the address to the agency doing the photos, meet me there at noon, and we'll get lunch," he took a pen and pad conveniently placed in the glove compartment and handed the address to her. She took it, thanked him for the coffee, and stepped out of the car.

"Sleep tight," he called after her.

"You too," she answered, before shutting the door softly.

Takuto, in the shadows, watched her come in at three that morning. She came in alone, I suppose that's a good sign, he thought to himself, and had to remember he was still angry with her. But, maybe it was just that he was confused by her actions, combined with the visions. What did it all mean? It was like a puzzle he was missing the pieces of; he could almost see the image but not quite, and it haunted him. He also knew just asking her straight out would never work; she never answered anything straight out. What's with all the mystery? He demanded silent. Why won't you just let me in for once?

He ran a hand through his dark blue hair and sighed, why are you getting all strung out? She's just a girl, one of millions.

Yes, he thought back to himself, but she's the only one I've ever loved.

Angrily, he clenched his fists and slammed his hand into a nearby wall, and an image of himself with a cat ear helmet flew back to him. Who was he?

"Takuto," the name fled from her lips in a mere whisper, and he spun, thinking he'd been caught, but when he did, she was just getting onto the elevator, thinking out loud, "I'm so sorry I hurt him."

"I'm not," another voice whispered harshly, and Takuto's eyes scanned the lobby for anyone, but as far as he could see, it was only Mitsuki standing there. What is happening to me?

"If Meroko were here you would do it for her Izumi," Mitsuki retorted, and Takuto's heart was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. Meroko, he could see her, cotton candy pink hair with bunny ears set atop her head. And Izumi? Dirty blond hair that sheltered already cloistered, hardened eyes, he was wearing a French style beret. But who were they? What was going on?

Mitsuki climbed onto the elevator with a shocked Izumi in tow, "I wonder where Meroko is," she mused aloud.

"She-" Izumi stopped himself. Why should he tell her anything about Me-chan? They were enemies, "I don't know, and I don't care."

You hurt me Izumi-kun, an angelic voice threaded with harmony tickled his ear.

Me-chan?He voiced in his mind.

You don't remember how you felt when we were first together? You don't remember how it was when I was placed with Takuto? I know your heart felt those things Izumi-kun, even when your mind does not allow them to be named. Listen to your heart Izumi, let your inhibitions go, for me, let Mitsuki be happy.

If I did this, he choked on his words, even in his own mind, unbelieving of them, if I did this one great kindness for you, what would become of me?

If there was a punishment I would vouch for you, that is all I could do.

So there would be no guarantee of salvation? He whispered, and he felt a hand upon his shoulder; it was warm even though he couldn't see her.

Izumi-kun I-

Meroko, tears burned his eyes, but he refused to let them be seen. I know what you're going to say and I-I remembered something the other day. Maybe you know what, maybe you don't, but I just wanted to tell you. I don't know why I did what I did, and I don't care to know, but I want you to know something; I don't regret what I did. I never would have met you if I hadn't, and also, I- won't let myself become her; I just won't.

Izumi-kun, her breath was a soft gasp, and he looked back to where she would be, but couldn't see her, and smiled.

"Izumi, I'm just going to bed, please leave me for awhile; I don't think Takuto will want to see me," Mitsuki's voice was missing her normal fire, and Izumi was quieted by the deep melancholy in her voice.

"All right Mi-ki," he answered, and she turned and stepped off the elevator; there was surprise in her eyes, and he smiled gently. It all made sense now. He thought he might be under some sort of spell, but he didn't care. For the first time in a long time he felt light, happy, ready to face anything that came his way, even if that meant purgatory.

"Th-thank you," the door shut on her grateful expression, and he chuckled softly, jumped into the air, and floated to the top of the hotel.

"Is this true?" a soft voice found him gazing at the moon, and he nodded without turning. He didn't need to; he knew she would come as soon as he'd left Mitsuki. As a Guardian, she was unable to make her presence known, and he knew how badly it hurt her. She came and sat beside him, letting her legs dangle off the ledge they sat upon. "Thank you."

In an impulse, he met her eyes, and saw them sparkle like a thousand stars. He reached up and looked at a single tear that trickled down her creamy cheek, "Don't cry," he begged. "I've done this to see you smile; you can't cry now."

She laughed softly and came nearer, wrapping her hand around the one that caressed her face, "I've been waiting for you to look at me like that for years," she mumbled, and he pulled his eyes away.

"I'm sorry for any hurt I caused you Me-chan; it's not what I wanted at all," the sudden change in him didn't surprise him; he'd felt them tearing at his walls for a long time. He would suffer, he knew, but it was worth it, for just this moment.

She laid her head on his shoulder and sighed happily. He looked at her gently, kissed the top of her light pink hair and resumed watching the slowly rising sun. With their wings tightly intertwined, and her precious warmth so near him again, he didn't care about anything except making this moment last.

"I- love you, Me-chan," the words escaped before he even thought of them, and for long moments, she stayed quiet, and he scolded himself for moving too quickly and frightening his little rabbit.

"I love you too Izumi-kun; I always have," she reached up, and he met her lips halfway. She was sweet and tender, and it had been years since he'd known that taste. Hungrily, he pulled her closer until there was not even a spare centimeter between them. When they broke away, both were helpless and breathless, and she collapsed into his embrace. With trembling fingers, he stroked her hair and waited for the first sunrise of his new life.

"Hey guys, how about a break?" Mitsuki blushed when the photographers began to grumble, and he jogged over to her. "So you actually came."

"Yeah, I didn't mean to interrupt though," she backed up a bit, making her way to the door.

"Nah, don't worry, I wanna show you something," he grabbed her hand and pulled her along behind him. Surprised, she had no choice but to follow him.

He led her all through the studio, pressing by disgruntled photographers and agents. Finally, they reached the door to what Mitsuki thought was the roof. He pushed it open and guided her up a flight of dimly lit steps. She distinctly remembered ascending steps like this, following Izumi. Where is Izumi anyway? She pondered. She had seen neither he nor Jonathan all day. Probably just knows Takuto won't speak to me anyway, tears stung her eyes when she thought that, but she had no time to let them fall because the minute they had burst into the sunshine, she saw a quiet lunch set up for two. There was a small table covered with what looked like a heavily patched, checkered picnic blanket and two place settings complete with a picnic basket next to the table.

"I figured they wouldn't let me escape, but wouldn't be able to find us up here for awhile."

"But, won't they get angry with you?" Mitsuki bit her lip nervously while he pulled out a chair for her.

"Probably," he grinned down at her as she sat gingerly. "But modeling isn't my thing, it's just something my dad thinks I should do to earn a few extra bucks while I'm at school," by now his Japanese was flowing very well, and Mitsuki was impressed. She knew her language was hard to master, and he seemed to have it down extremely well.

"How long have you been taking Japanese?" she inquired, and he looked surprised at the seemingly random question. "I was just noticing you speak it very well."

"Oh," he nodded and thought on it. "Well, I went to Tokyo for a modeling shoot when I was fifteen and hired a tutor when I got back, so I guess four years," he answered, and it was Mitsuki's turn to be surprised.

"That's not very long to speak as well as you do."

"Yeah, well, I've always been good with language," he winked, and she laughed. "It used to be a goal of mine to learn how to say 'I love you' in every language."

Mitsuki giggled, but was touched, what an odd goal; yet, a worthwhile one all the same, "Well, let's see, aishiteru."

"I love you."

"Te amo."

"Je t'aime."

"Ti amo."

"Ich liebe dich."

"Wo ai ni."

"Ik houd van u."

"Eu te amo."

They probably would have been able to continue, but both burst into a fat of laughter at their intense concentration; it was like a game.

"Wow, someone I can actually talk to intelligently, well, sort of," he smiled a smile that made Mitsuki's blood race. "We don't get many of those in my work." It was only when he dropped his dazzling sapphire eyes to his food that Mitsuki was able to examine hers. There was a BLT and a salad with the freshest vegetables she'd ever tasted; it was the perfect American meal, much better than most of the food she'd eaten in America (Ooshige swore she'd gained fifteen pounds in their stay). An hour later, Jared sighed heavily, and Mitsuki knew their time was at an end. As they stood, awkwardness filled the air when it never had before. They stood staring at each other for awhile before he cleared his throat and spoke, "So you're leaving tomorrow?"

She nodded, "Early, we're off to Washington DC."

"Would you like to have dinner? I mean, you're probably busy, but I've had a great time and-"

"Sure," she agreed more to end the edginess that was growing than to go. Besides, it wasn't like Takuto was going to want to go out with her or anything.

He smiled, almost relieved, and quickly kissed her cheek, catching her off-guard. She blushed deeply and only nodded stupidly when he added a quiet, "I'll pick you up at six."

Without another word, she descended the steps and slipped out a back exit.

Dinner was fabulous; they went into Chinatown and had a good dinner in a small Chinese restaurant in the area. Mitsuki commented on how American Chinese was nothing like real Chinese and was delighted to find their waiter was also fluent in Japanese. It'd been so long since she'd had anyone but Takuto and Ooshige to talk to. Just the name brought her pain; she hadn't even seen him in nearly two days. Well, they would have to at least see one another on the plane. Maybe then…she forced all the thoughts down; having hope just meant heartbreak anymore. Then, out of nowhere, Izumi appeared for the first time since the night of the concert, "Funny how quickly you forget your love Mi-ki," he tried to sneer, but more than anything, he sounded baffled. With his own jewel of love burning so brightly inside him and how badly he thought Mitsuki pined for Takuto this scene was quiet unnerving. What if he had been right? He refused to let himself think of it; he would do this, for Meroko, but for himself he would be careful.

Mitsuki closed her eyes and regained her composure; she wasn't betraying Takuto by having dinner with someone, and even if she was, it wasn't any greater than he'd betrayed her. No, her mind scolded, that's not the right mentality.

At nine, Jared paid the bill and drove Mitsuki back to her hotel, and the awkward silence resumed, "Well," he parked and turned to Mitsuki who had her head lowered, thinking. Her hair covered her blush, "I suppose this is goodbye. You're an incredible girl Mitsuki; I only regret not meeting you sooner."

"I had a great time, thank you for your kindness."

"It was my pleasure," his look hurt Mitsuki's heart. She didn't think she'd been leading him on, but apparently she had. Still, she couldn't just leave him here like this.

"Would you maybe like to come up for a bit? I mean, we're leaving early, but I should at least make an attempt to return the hospitality you've shown to me."

He smiled, almost slyly, "Tell me, is this your famed Japanese hospitality or is this a genuine offer because you want to make it?"

She pretended to think about it and then laughed, "I suppose it's a little of both."

"Well, I suppose I'll come up for a bit then, but I don't want to inconvenience you for too long."

She nodded and both got out and headed up to Mitsuki's penthouse room.

"So you and your partner, your duet was…" he stopped; Mitsuki was expecting something like incredible or inspiring, but was stopped dead with his choice of word… "Lacking."

"Lacking?" she whispered, and he turned from his examination of the Philadelphia skyline.

"Not to offend either of you, both of your individual performances were incredible, but together you seemed…distant. I'm sorry, did I upset you?"

"No, no," she dismissed him absently, unbelieving. So their emotion or lack thereof really did carry through their music then.

"I didn't catch all the words, but I got the gist of it, and it seemed to be a song of love, but there was no feeling in it."

Mitsuki's heart burned in anguish, but she managed to choke out, "We try our best."

He smiled and approached her, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you," he whispered, so near to her his voice tickled her neck. With two careful fingers, he raised her chin and moved in to kiss her.

Takuto! Her head screamed, and she turned her head and dropped onto the bed, "I'm sorry."

"No, I am," he turned and ran a hand through his hair, a habit Mitsuki found almost irresistible. "I shouldn't, it's just –frustrating."

"I suppose I should be honest with you," she mumbled meakly.

He met her eyes and they seemed to flash anger, "You have a boyfriend don't you?"

"No, no," she laughed and shook her head; her eyes were filled with tears, "but I have someone in mind."

"And by that tone I'll assume it's not me."

"I wish it were," she answered sullenly, "but Takuto and I have a history."

"Ah-ha, I should have guessed," he smiled and nodded. "I understand."

She looked at him and wished she could disregard her feelings and subsequently her pain. Only the memories held her to her love; she didn't believe in fate anymore, but she would make Takuto remember their love, old and new, "I can't ever apologize enough."

"It's all right I guess, but…why did you agree to go out with me in the first place?" he asked a bit angrily.

"Because Takuto and I got in a fight…"

"And you meant to use me as a jealousy ploy to win him back?" his temper flared, and his voice rose.

"No, no, no," she rushed to fix her mistake, finding herself doing that a lot recently. "I thought I could enjoy myself without Takuto, and I maybe could forget him, but I couldn't. I'm sorry I put you in the way of it- that was never my intention. I really did like you – do, do; I just can't bring myself to forget Takuto."

He paced the floor and sighed, "I guess I'd better go then," he grabbed his jacket from off the bed and headed for the door.

"Jared!" she stopped him as he opened the door and he looked back to her, trying to capture his image in his mind.

"You would have made a great girlfriend Mitsuki-chan," he told her softly.

"I'm not so sure," she lowered her head, and he approached once more, leaving the door ajar. "You don't have to be," he kissed her cheek softly. "I'm sure enough for the both of us."

"Thank you," she squeezed his hand, and he turned his back and left, shutting the door behind him.

Takuto barely hid his rage when he saw Jared slip out of Mitsuki's room, "Oh, hi," the boy tried a smile for his rival. Well, he thought grimly, I suppose there was no competition to begin with.

Takuto just glowered, fingers twitching viciously.

"Hey, she-it's not what you think," he thought he didn't need to give an explanation, but Mitsuki's obvious love touched him so that he wished only for her to be happy. "She can't be with me when her heart belongs to someone else," that said, he brushed past Takuto and stepped out of Mitsuki's life, just an actor in the drama of the world. He felt like the fated Jean Valjean, released from his evil by a small deed of the side of good. He'd done the right thing, which was all that he could do, and he was satisfied with that. For the first time in a long time, he smiled with his heart.

Baffled, Takuto opened her door without knowing. The lights were on in her first room, which was a parlor-like area, but in her bedroom it was dark, and he heard sobs coming from that general direction. He put a guard around his heart, refusing to let her hurt him anymore, even with her own pain.

As silent as a cat, he crept into her room and gazed at her. The moonlight glittered across her form, and her words seemed to be carried by the wind, "Why, why is this happening? I just wanted him to remember; I just wanted him to love me again. What if I've lost him like I lost Eichi-kun? Takuto, I love you!"

His heart tore into a thousand pieces, and his wall may as well have been made of sand it crumbled so easily, "Mitsuki-chan."

She jumped into a sitting position and whirled around to meet his eyes, "Takuto."

"T-those things you said, did you, I mean…" he searched for words. Could they be true? There was a time he thought they were, but…

"What things?" she inquired in a scratchy whisper.

"About- about you losing me like you lost Eichi," he couldn't bring himself to voice the word 'love', so he used the only other allusion he could think of.

Her eyes narrowed, "I didn't say that," she mumbled, and his eyes widened, so he remembered why he'd been so distant in the first place. Too many frightening and mysterious things seemed to happen around her, and he could tell this was going to be one of those times.

Who could be letting him into my mind, and why? Are you hearing this right now? Mitsuki tried to send him the message, but he stayed silent without even a trace of recognition. So, it was only for that moment…

"Takuto- I- I'm not sure what to say."

He shook his head and took a seat next to her on the bed, "I shouldn't have gotten angry with you. You probably have your reasons for keeping whatever it is you're keeping. Whoever the girl in my head is Mitsuki, it's you. I don't care. It's always been you."

She laughed bitterly at the irony and looked for Izumi. He wasn't there; she could tell Takuto everything, yet something held her back. She owed no loyalty to Izumi, so why should she skip this opportunity? Her heart's old innocence made her halt though. It just wouldn't be fair. And this is fair? She demanded of herself. This constant deceit and trickery? If he were in my place… but the thing was, he wasn't, and she couldn't allow herself to sink to his level. If she did, she would be forsaking all that Takuto had learned to love.

"Have you ever just known something was true without having any kind of evidence?" Mitsuki questioned; her obvious passion straining her voice.

He was caught off-guard by the oddity of the question, "I suppose…"

"That's how I feel about this," she continued. "I know without a doubt that we were supposed to be together, fate aside; that's why you lived and Eichi-kun died. I don't believe in much, but I believe in that," with the simple mentioning of Eichi's name, tears sprung to her eyes, but she forced them aside with a vicious hand and forged on, "I tried- I tried to push you out of my mind, and I failed; it can't be anyone but you. Takuto-I…"

He put a finger to her lips and shook his head, "Please, just kiss me."

She bit her lip and nodded, and he pulled his finger away delicately and stroked her cheek with his thumb as he leaned forward.

A single flower petal dropped into a glass of water, and his head spun, so he had to jerk back quickly before he even met her kiss.

"What?" she inquired in an alarmed whisper.

"I forgot."

"You forgot?" she laughed and turned her head sideways. "Forgot what?"

"No, no, someone made me forget, or something…" he tried to remember, but nothing came to him; everything was in a fog. He shouted in exasperation, "Why can't I remember?"

"Because-because you made yourself forget- a long time ago, to save your life in a way," she answered softly, lowering her head.

"What? Who? How do you know this?" he persisted, more thirsty for knowledge than angered at withholding.

"I-it's not…" Mitsuki couldn't stop the tears. "You don't remember me!" And when she said it all of her confidence in their love shattered. He truly didn't remember her; love wouldn't conquer all, not this at least. The world wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, not even close.

"Mitsuki," Takuto stopped from his pacing only long enough to look into her glittering, moonlit eyes. The image blurred with that of a stunning blond possessing almost the same eyes, only, less haunted, less tormented. She giggled in his head, but it was younger than even the girl in his head. None of it made sense, "You-you're not the one in my memories, if that's what they are, but that doesn't mean I don't want you in my future. Whatever it is you're hiding, I'll help you through it, as long as you let me in."

Mitsuki shook her head in consternation, her long brown tresses swinging behind her, "How can that be?" and for a moment she hated Meroko, so he had…but no…that couldn't possibly…Why?

Then it hit her, "Full Moon," she choked, still haunted by her past, even now. Full Moon had created and destroyed her, had been her joy and her suffering. She'd tried to run from the identity, but clearly, it was all in vain – you can't escape the past because it defines your present – now she understood.

"What?" Takuto inquired, and his voice, so angelic and innocent, pushed Mitsuki to her final resolution. There was only one way to put him at peace and save Izumi's secrets. She'd refused the option before, but now, sitting alone in this dark room breathing in the moist, cramped air, drinking in the darkness, she knew she had to release both their tortured souls.

"I need to tell you the truth Takuto," she lowered her eyes to hide her tears and her lies, "I knew you- before the accident."

He started to interrupt with a string of questions that were bursting from within, but she stopped him. "No, let me finish." He nodded and bit back his curiosity, so she could continue, "There was a girl at the orphanage who I was friends with; she tried out at this singing contest and eventually became Full Moon. I was just a friend, well, you two met, just before, and fell in love. That's the girl in your memory; I'm the young one, just a background image. When you had your accident, she became huge, but she couldn't take it and disappeared. So that's it, that's the big secret, I was just a little girl then, nothing more, Full Moon was the one."

He stopped dead in his tracks to stare at Mitsuki whose hair was sheltering her face, contemplating. It was no wonder she'd protected it so frantically, telling him that he was once in love with another girl – he almost regretted knowing. But…why didn't he remember her, yet he remembered the crash? There was something still not right, something that needed answering, "W-where is she?" he mumbled, and Mitsuki let out a sharp, pain filled cry and looked up at him for the first time, biting her lower lip to keep out the tremor to no avail.

She could at least tell him this one truth, "She's dead."