Normal Monday's Chaos

By: Solar Hawk

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA, okay?

Chapter 1 - Roy Mustang's POV -or- A Little Shorthanded

Ugh...who the heck let Fullmetal pass the Alchemy Certification Exam anyways? I shook my head and opened my eyes a little. Everyone was sprawled out on the floor. Riza, Maes, and Al were visible. I saw Ed's glove poking out from behind Alphonse's suit of armor. They were all breathing.

Thank goodness. If anything had happened...

"Ugh.." I groaned and stood up. I clutched my stomach and walked towards the door. I'm going to my office and I'm going to take some medicine. Wow, that transmutation was not only dangerous, but stupid too! "Idiot Fullmetal," I muttered bitterly and left, leaving everyone else knocked out on the floor.

I left them all and got out of the library. Let them keep on sleeping on that hard floor. I've got work to do.

I sat down in my office chair, relaxed for the moment. "What the heck happened?" I muttered. I tried to focus on my paperwork, but my vision was still blurry from that light and I had barely made it to my office. I couldn't very well concentrate on paperwork now could I?

"Sir!" Jean Havoc burst into my office abruptly, followed by Armstrong. "Sir, I-" He stopped and stared at me.

"What is it, Havoc? And why in the world are you staring at me?" I snapped. I was in a really bad mood and his eyes weren't doing anything to help me. "Well? Answer me!"

"Um..oh, Ed! Where's the Colonel and why are you sitting in his chair?" Havoc asked me, confused.

I was starting to get really ticked off. "Is this some kind of joke, Havoc? Because IT IS NOT FUNNY!"

He looked equally ticked off. "Okay, Ed! Quit talking like that! You're really starting to annoy me! Now where is the Colonel? It is really important." Havoc stomped his foot to emphasize his point.

"RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE!" I screamed. "AND WHY IN THE HECK ARE YOU CALLING ME ED?" I could only imagine how angry I looked.

Havoc looked really confused. "Um...because you are Ed."

"Huh?" I asked dumbly. I picked up the mirror on my desk and stared into it. I gasped. "I'M ED?"

"Wow, Sir. Sounds like you had a bad time," Havoc apologized as I finished explaining, "Sorry I didn't know it was you."

"It's all right," I sighed, "I guess this was to be expected." I slumped back in my chair with my hand on my head. What a disaster...I'm going to kill Fullmetal..Wait! How can I kill him if he's in a different body? Aw fudge pops. My face probably looked so frustrated right then.

"Are you okay, Colonel?" Armstrong asked me. He looked disturbed and slightly freaked by my appearance.

"Yes, Armstrong. I'm fine," I sighed again, "We better get back and wake up the others." They nodded and I led them down to the library. When I opened the door and peered inside, they were all gone! "What?"

"Um..they're gone.." Havoc stated simply, not knowing what else to say.

"AAACK!" I screamed, finally losing it. "THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!" I started to scream in a crazed frenzy. Then I blacked out as something hit me in the back of the head.

"Urm...what happened?" I groaned and woke up with a sore head.

Jean Havoc looked really sorry. "I apologize sir, you were starting to lose it, you see?"

"Yes, Fullmetal's insanity must seriously be affecting my head," I sighed and stood up, "Armstrong! Find everyone immediately! I want them in here an hour ago!"

Armstrong saluted. "Yessir!" Then he turned on his heel and left.

"What are you going to do, sir?" Havoc asked curiously.

"I'm going out for a walk," I groaned and rubbed my head.

"Watch it!" I snapped as a civilian bumped into me.

"Excuse you, shorty!" he grunted.

I felt a vein pulse in my head that I didn't even know exsisted. I assume that would be the I'm Not Short vein. "Excuse me?" I growled, my voice growing dangerously low. "Would you mind repeating that?"

"I said, Excuse you shorty!" the man snorted. The next thing I knew I had pinned him against the wall.

"You know it's not nice to insult people, lard man. They might just lose it!" Then I started to shake him violently. "APOLOGIZE TO ME!"

"I'm s-s-s-sorry!" the poor man whimpered. Too bad pal, sorry doesn't cut it!

"EDWARD! Leave that poor man alone!" Maes was walking towards me looking very...Riza-like? Uh-oh...

"And who are you telling me what to do?" I snapped. Maybe she didn't know yet, so I figured to milk it for all it was worth.

Maes put his hands on his hips. Ugh...so scary...that image will stay on my mind forever.. "Excuse me? All right, you're coming with me!" Then he dragged me by my ear all the way back into my office. "Now, explain Edward or whoever you are!" Drat, she knows.

"I don't know, maybe I didn't like being called short." I admitted.

"Yeah, I guess you know how Ed feels. Who are you anyways? Al? Hughes?"

I grinned. "I'll give you a hint, I'm stuck in this shrimp's body." His..er...her face grew white.

"Colonel Mustang?" Maes...er...Riza ventured. I nodded and his/her face grew even paler. "I am so very sorry sir! I didn't realize..."

I shrugged. "It's okay. Havoc actually started to yell at me." Maes/Riza laughed shakily and smiled a little. "Hey, don't worry, Armstrong's gonna round up the rest of them and we'll be back to normal in no time. So did you have a fun day?" I smiled but it probably turned out as a sour grimace.

He/she rolled their eyes. "Oh yeah, loads of fun. Can't believe how Hughes can live with never being able to shut his mouth. Plus all day I wanted to talk about my daughter that I don't even have."

"Yeah..I-" I was cut off by a disgruntled Al's body, Riza's body, and my body entering the room.

My body looked up and groaned. "Normal Monday?"

I nodded. "Normal Monday."

Solar Hawk: So? Did you understand it a little better? I hope you did, because I'm planning on a chapter for each character in the room. Kudos to you if you can figure out the cycle of how they switched before the next chapter!