(A/N-the dialogue in italics is where Elvish is being spoken)
Chapter Twenty Six-Recovery and Anticipation
I awoke in terrible pain. You know when your skin feels like it's on fire and there's a deep throbbing of pain that pulses in time with your heart? It was worse than that. My right arm screamed in agony, and it pulsed in time with all the other pain. My guts felt like someone had taken a fish knife and stuck it deep inside of me and wiggled it around like they were having a seizure. I had lacerations all over my body, ergo the skin on fire feeling. Luckily my left foot was just throbbing dully, so hey, silver lining.
Yeah it was bad, but I'd been through just as bad, if not worse. I had gone through almost a decade of cancer treatments, and 1993 was my year to be called Mac the Knife, as I had three surgeries in six months and several hundred sutures. I became an expert in what veins were best for IV's and giving blood for tests. I learned about a myriad of tests and procedures to not only get rid of my cancer, but see if it had come back. I learned what it was like to be given insufficient pain relievers, and lie in agony, unable to tolerate the torment. That was just the cancer. I had a bike accident when I was eight and skidded for ten feet on my face after my bike flipped over on a steep hill. Three months of recovery, which included an infected wound, a gummed up thumb and two caps to replace the missing front teeth. When I was four, I stabbed myself with a fork. Still have the lovely scar, which has since been expanded when I had laparoscopic surgery to remove a disintegrated gallbladder. Got two others to match. Plus, a myriad of other injuries and illnesses over my thirty-six years. I fought to pull through and survive. I was gonna do the same here and show those beyotches who the fuck they were dealing with.
Glorfindel was still sitting beside me when I opened my eye. His sky blue eyes penetrated me to my soul, and stripped me bare. A feeling of love and comfort bled through my body and I sighed.
"Are you still in pain?" Glorfindel asked, leaning forward.
"Yeah, but don't worry about it," this was my standard reply whenever I felt someone was worrying. I hate to cause other people pain.
Glorfindel smiled, "I will worry about it." He moved out of my line of sight and came back with a cup of pain relieving tea.
I sipped slowly as Glorfindel held the cup to my mouth and ran his free hand through my hair.
When I finished I said, "I need a bath something awful."
Glorfindel laughed, "You cannot be immersed in water until the sutures are removed from your lacerations and your internal organs have healed a little more."
"But I know I reek something tragic. I know Elves have a nose akin to a bloodhound, so do not tell me I don't stink to high heaven!" I insisted.
"What can I do for you?" Glorfindel had a twinkle in his eyes.
"I need a sponge bath, with actual soap. And my hair washed. Surely you can conjure something up?" I was trying not to be demanding, but I thought part of the burn was due to my unbelievable filthiness. I had rolled around on the ground, which may I remind you, is full of dirt. And I had been in a comatose state for five friggin' days. God invented bathing for people to not be so damned icky, and soap was icing on the proverbial cake.
Glorfindel's brows rose, "And who would you desire to perform this 'sponge bath'?"
Oh, now my mind was dragging its dirty little ass through the gutter, "Who do you think should give me the bath?"
Glorfindel gave me a heated look before he said, "I will get a female healer."
I knew he was warring with his desire, but we'd been so careful to not give anyone any ideas, we couldn't afford to get carried away. It wasn't like I didn't want the same thing. If I was of sound body, bypassing sound mind, and we weren't worried about my social standing and winning this war of words, I'd have jumped him on Valentine's Day. He looked sooo good that night. Totally edible. I was the luckiest woman alive, and I knew it.
Glorfindel kissed my cheek, being careful to miss a cut that was slowly healing, and went to get a female healer to clean me up. He returned with a large basin of hot water and the female healer came in carrying a few cloths and a jar of what I assumed was cleanser. Glorfindel left and returned with another basin and a jug and then kissed my good hand and left. The female healer smiled at me and picking up a cloth, dipped it in water dabbed a little cleanser on it and began to clean my arms. She skirted around the areas with sutures and cleaned every inch of me that wasn't covered by robe or bedcovers. Then she pulled down the covers of my bed and opened my robe to clean me. The cool air hitting my skin made me shiver until she brought the cloth, warm from the water, across my skin. I couldn't see exactly what she was doing, but I could feel it, and trust me, she was quite thorough. She rubbed me with a dry cloth to stop the shivers from the cool air brushing across damp skin, and then moved on to my head. She raised my head with one hand and supported my neck with her fingers. Then she took the jug, filled with water, and poured it over my head to wet my hair. I could hear the water hit the basin she had put underneath my head. Using her other hand, she rubbed more cleanser into my hair and scrubbed, massaging my scalp. She then rinsed a couple of times to make sure all the soap was rinsed out. She put my head back on the pillow once she had removed the basin of used water. She wrapped a towel around my head and wiped some water off my face.
"There you are. All clean. How do you feel?" she asked as she tied my robe closed and pulled the covers back up over my body.
"Much better. Thank you," I smiled a crooked smile.
"Get some rest. You were badly injured and need time to heal," she got up and carried out the used water basin in her arms, slinging the jug over her wrist.
Glorfindel came back into the room, "Feeling better?"
"Yes. Thank you," I wanted to kiss him, but my bottom lip was the size of a lemon and there were people wandering in and out.
Another elf came to take the other basin away and smiled at me. I smiled back, and grimaced when my lip caught on my teeth. Glorfindel took a damp cloth lying in a bowl beside my head and dabbed at my lip, wetting it so it wouldn't catch.
"Thanks," I whispered.
"You are welcome," he returned.
Glorfindel waited until everyone had cleared the room and leaned over me, "I have missed our conversations." He gently kissed my top lip and caressed my face with his fingers, "I will never leave you again. Your attack frightened me and I now realize I could not go on without you by my side."
"What? You just realized this now? So prior to this, I was just your favourite person?" I kidded him.
Glorfindel smiled, "You know what I meant. I knew we had a deep bond, but when you were critical, I felt I would fade if you did not survive."
"What if I get pulled back to my world?" I asked. It probably wasn't the right time, but I had been mulling on that worry for quite a while.
Glorfindel grimaced, "I would find a way back to you. I would tear apart heaven and earth to find you and come back to you. I would demand to be by your side and would not even let Eru stop me."
I loved this elf more than life and knowing he loved me back with the same intensity made everything that much sweeter.
"I love you," I whispered.
"I love you," he said softly in my ear.
We sat quietly together, not even speaking for quite a while before my eyes grew heavy with sleep and I dropped off.
For the next few days, Glorfindel never left my side. He was there every time I woke up and he fed me and made sure my wounds were cleaned and my pain was taken care of. I had never experienced such loving care before, and I had been through quite a few situations that required home care. Glorfindel read to me and told me about what was going on in Imladris. He stayed when Arwen came by to talk and share what was new in her life. Arwen helped to keep my hair nice and advised me of when she thought Estel had fallen in battle. We held hands and cried, and she went off, to return the next day saying that she had felt his life-force and knew he had survived. We cried over that too. Arwen told me she expected me to be fit and ready to attend her wedding. I told her I wouldn't miss it for the world. The twins had left after they had found me, in order to meet up with Estel along with the other Dúnedain. They advised Glorfindel to tell me when I was a bit better. Having gone through quite a bit of loss already, I prayed like the dickens that they would return unhurt and triumphant.
Glorfindel told me around the middle of March, that Cylleruion and Túviluiel had been apprehended and Elrond had passed down judgement on their actions. I was disappointed I had not been there to see the sentence passed down, but Glorfindel told me that my wishes had been respected. I had told Glorfindel of my desire to see the elves responsible to go through re-education. Glorfindel told me the perpetrators had been banished from Imladris and sent for re-education in a small town in Buckland. A party of Elves escorted them and gave instructions to the mayor of the town that the elves were not to be given special treatment, but instead given tasks to help them understand what it was to be mortal. I had no idea what those tasks would be, but I thought the people living in that village probably felt like they'd won the jackpot.
Near the end of March, I was finally able to be moved back into my room, and my short staggers around the healing rooms had been extended to short walks inside the main building. Glorfindel was with me constantly. I chided him that he was shirking his duties, and he assured me that as I slept quite a bit, he was able to get some work done. Glorfindel had been having whispered meetings while I slept and had appointed a deputy in charge when he couldn't attend to something personally.
We had had word at the beginning of April that great battles had occurred in Gondor and they were marching on Mordor. Glorfindel had to explain the whole situation to me, which caused me quite a bit of worry as the troops marching were not big enough nor technologically advanced enough to beat the forces holed up in Mordor. I wished I had access to modern arms as I was really freaked out that everyone would die. Glorfindel assured me that it was a strategic decision made by Estel and he was sure they would be successful. I thought Glorfindel was singing a too optimistic tune.
The furor that had occupied Imladris over our relationship, dissipated after the evil Bobbsey twins had been banished. Elrond took everyone to task for allowing such an attack to occur and gave 'what for' to those who had agreed with the action against me. I was sure some still harboured ill will against me, but now that Elrond had slammed the book on the fingers of those involved, I felt they would stay underground until they left for Aman.
Elrond had tried to get Arwen to leave for Aman, still trying to save her immortality, but she had a vision of her child and rejected leaving. I got to hear all about her issues with her father and reminded her that when she became a parent, she would want to protect her children just as much as her father did.
My arm had healed just after the beginning of April and I was much stronger. Glorfindel helped me practice my yoga and did some pilates with me. The stretching and gentle exercise had helped me heal and get my balance back, and by mid-April I was back on a horse and continuing my riding lessons. Word had come that the Ring was destroyed and Estel and the twins survived. There had been many losses, but Sauron had been defeated and Arwen was going to marry her love. Arwen had gotten some travel outfits made for me, as she told me I would accompany her and her father to Minas Tirith for her wedding. The mood around Imladris was jubilant and I was happy to be included in the festivities. We prepared to leave Imladris on May 1st so we could get to Minas Tirith by the end of June. I had to have Glorfindel tell me how we would travel, and why it took that long as the messengers made the trip in such a short time. He advised the trip would be extended as we had to make diplomatic stops in Mirkwood and Lórien. We also had to pick up Arwen's grandparents, the Lady Galadriel and the Lord Celeborn. I was reminded of the trips that Queen Elizabeth I had made during her reign. She had taken her entire court to various cities in her realm and brought her image to the people. It was excellent PR and served to strengthen her reign.
Arwen was excited to be going and I couldn't help but get carried away myself. I threw her a bachelorette party, with all the trimmings. No guys allowed and everyone had to bring something to 'aid' their connubial bliss. I had thrown loads of those parties back on Earth, and I felt no wedding was a good wedding if you didn't encourage the happy couple's sex life. Arwen laughed at most of the gifts and took me aside afterwards to tell me she had no idea I was so open-minded. I reminded her I had been pursued by her brothers and I was no blushing virgin. She advised that with the way Glorfindel and I had been behaving, she had forgotten I was a wild child. I had taught her many aphorisms and she had picked up on a lot, using them when she spoke to me. If you can't wrap your head around Arwen saying things like 'cool' and 'wicked', just imagine Dick Cheney saying 'shizzle my nizzle'. It's just as incongruous and pretty funny to watch. She thought it was hilarious that I'd have to bite my lip every time she used one of my 'Earth terms', so she'd try and use them each time she spoke to me. Elrond wasn't entirely pleased, as I was 'bastardizing' the language. I didn't tell him about Ebonics.
Finally, May 1st arrived, and Glorfindel was helping me saddle up for the trip. He had arranged with Elrond to accompany us, and as such Erestor was left behind, in charge of Imladris. Originally Erestor was supposed to go, but Glorfindel was adamant about not leaving me alone again, and used my assault as ammunition to get to go. We had a whole regiment coming with us and had wagons full of stuff we needed on the road. Glorfindel had given me an overview of what we would face on the trip, as I had told him about life on Earth. How I could travel 200 leagues (given that there are approximately 5km/1league) in a day, and we had things called 'motels' and 'hotels' to serve our sleep needs. He told me we would be camping many nights, and when we reached Mirkwood, which was now called Eryn Lasgalen, we would stay as guests of the King. I knew that was Legolas' father, and I looked forward to meeting him. I wondered if he was like his son or vice versa. Glorfindel told me that we would make a final stop at Lórien and I would meet Arwen's grandparents. Arwen had told me many fond stories of them, and I was excited to meet them. I had lost both sets of grandparents by the time I was three, and I felt anyone who still had theirs were really damn lucky. Of course Arwen's grandparents were Elves, but that didn't matter. She was still bloody lucky.
The morning was bright and sunny, with warmth from the sun heating up everything around us. Everyone who was travelling with us had gotten on their horses and I was helped up onto mine, as my arm was still a bit tender from the break. It was fully healed, but as it was a jagged break, it healed a bit rough and I would get stiff and sore if I put it through too much. Glorfindel was riding beside me and Arwen and Elrond were ahead of us. As we rode out of Imladris, I smiled like a nutbar as I realized I was finally going to see how things worked outside of the realm of the Elves. I had heard all the tales of the Shire, and what it was like in Minas Tirith, as Boromir tried to woo me south, but now I was going to see it firsthand.
Glorfindel smiled back at me, "What has you smiling this morning?"
"Oh, I get to see what life's really like in Arda. I mean Elves live differently from what I've been told by the hobbits and Boromir, so I'm curious about what it really is like," I said, grinning maniacally.
"Then I am glad I will be there with you, to experience this through your eyes," Glorfindel grinned back.
"You'll be in for an eyeful," I joked.
"I am sure I will," Glorfindel countered.
We joked back and forth and talked about the differences between life in Arda and life on Earth. Arwen laughed at our jokes and joined in with stories of her own. Elrond just looked amused and didn't bother to contribute to our frivolity. Our first day of travel passed uneventfully, and we stopped to make camp for the evening, a short ways off the road. I wasn't down with digging my own hole for bathroom purposes, as I had a bad experience at Camp Pioneer Pacific back in 1979; but as Arwen was dealing with the situation with aplomb, I figured I'd put up with the inconvenience. Glorfindel showed me to the tent I would be sharing with Arwen after the evening meal and kissed me goodnight. Arwen smiled and dragged me inside before I could take the kiss any farther.
"Well, now that we are travelling, you must tell me. Have you and Lord Glorfindel sealed your bond yet?" Arwen got straight to the point.
"Sealed our bond? I'm sorry?" I knew what Arwen meant, as Glorfindel and I had discussed what was needed to bond us as life-mates. I was ready to make love to Glorfindel, but he wanted to make it special. He never said when or what he had in mind.
Arwen grinned, "Karyn," she had dropped the niceties, "I know you and Lord Glorfindel are betrothed, and you have not yet bonded. Are you planning to bond soon?"
"Arwen," I dropped the title too, "If it was up to me, we would have done it a long time ago, but Lord Glorfindel wants to make it special. I don't have a clue as to what he's planning, but I'm sure it will be lovely."
Arwen hugged me, "It is the most glorious thing you can go through. I know he will make it special."
"Arwen," I wanted the 411 on the bonding thing, "I know when you bond, your spirits mesh and then you become connected to your mate almost psychically, but is that all? I mean, as to what happens?"
Arwen shrugged elegantly, "You are connected beyond the physical. You can feel what your mate is feeling and know exactly where they are, should you desire it. You are so tightly entwined with him that should either of you die unexpectedly; the other would fade with grief."
I knew about the fading bit. It had me a bit worried. "I don't want Glorfindel to fade Arwen," I dropped the 'Lord' in my concern, "I want him to live and sail to Aman. I couldn't bear it if he didn't survive. I mean I will live again. It's just the way things work. Until I achieve moksha or freedom from the karmic cycle, I will live and die and live again. Who I attach to in a soul-bond will continue to play a role in my lives. It is just a karmic attachment that occurs until moksha is attained." Arwen looked at me seriously, "I'm serious. I cannot deal with Glorfindel fading if he cannot find a way to be with me, should I be dragged back to Earth or if I die here."
Arwen touched my arm, "I will see he sails if either should happen, however, it does not guarantee he will be well in Aman either. He could still linger in a state of limbo if Manwë andNámo deny him entrance to the Halls of Mandos. Pray that he be able to follow you, should you leave, for I know the anguish he will feel if he cannot be with you."
That said, Arwen and I got ready for bed and tucked ourselves into our bedrolls, blowing out the candles that lit our tent. I fell asleep with the worry about Glorfindel hanging over my head. I dreamed that Glorfindel and I had been pulled apart when I was taken back to Earth, and I watched him go mad trying to find his way back to me. It was a reoccurring theme running through all my dreams that night, and I tossed and turned restlessly for the rest of my sleep.