A Normal Monday's Chaos

By: Solar Hawk

Disclaimer: I don't FMA. Period.

Chapter 3 - Ed's POV -or- I Feel A Little Empty

My head was swirling and I was feeling very...empty. I shook my head a couple times, but I couldn't shake the feeling. I felt so wierd... "Oh well!" I said out loud. I stood up and looked around. "Now where the heck is Al?" I couldn't see the suit of armor anywhere so I shrugged. "Must've gotten tired of waiting..I bet he went to Hughes's house! Yeah, that's it," I said to myself.

As I walked out of the library, everything seemed smaller to me.

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While I was walking down the street to Hughes's house, everyone I passed by gave me a strange stare. And the funny thing was, they were looking UP at me! "Something is definately wrong!" I shouted out and tried to take a deep breath when I realized, I COULDN'T BREATHE!

They continued to stare at me and I was beginning to feel awkward. I tried to glare at them, scrunching my eyebrows, but I soon realized...I DIDN'T HAVE EYEBROWS EITHER! "What the heck is going on?" I screamed. They started to stare even more and some even began calling out for help.

I quickly turned and dashed downt the nearest alley.

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"What. The. Heck. Is. Going. On," I said quietly. "Why am I in Al's body? Did the transmutation mess up? What happened to Al? Oh no!" I cried out and began to look around. "AL! WAIT FOR ME!" I began to run frantically in circles.

'Okay Ed, calm down' I thought and (took a deep breath) made a weird noise. 'I better try to find the others so I can fix this...' I thought for a minute and tried to figure out where everyone was.

"Okay...let's see... I left Riza's body and Hughes's body back in the library.. I know, logically, that we are all in a different body, so that means it's either Hughes, Mustang or Al in Riza's body. I know Hughes's can't be in his own body, so if he's not Riza then that means the first place he would logically go is home..Hm... I guess if I find at least two people I can figure out this wacky pattern...Or maybe...What if their souls went to purgatory and evil demons took over their bodies? Wait...that's not possible..Heheh..." I scratched the back of my head and laughed nervously.

'Homonculus and Chimeras and even serial killers exsist, but demons don't' I thought nervously.

I didn't notice it, but I had begun to pace. I looked up and saw I had no idea wher I was. "Oh creampuff. I have no idea where I am," I said, stating the obvious. I shook my...helmet... a couple times and decided I should visit Hughes's house first. That's where he'd go 99.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999991 of the time.

"And the other .000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000009?" I asked myself out loud.

"He'd go get a turkey sandwich," I said. Then I thought for a minute. "Oh yeah! And a coffee! Can't forget the coffee."

I decided to head for the conveniently placed Coffee 'n' Turkey Sandwiches R Us that was right in front of me.

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"You shouldn't be wandering around in our alley, punk," a guy wearing a black mask sneered at me.

"Yeah!" one of his masked cronies agreed.

Since Hughes hadn't been at the resturaunt, I decided to head down an alley. Smart me.

"And you shouldn't be annoying me!" I sneered back. They flinched a little, but the leader didn't back off one bit. One of his cronies nervously tapped the leader's shoulder.

"Duh..Boss?" he asked timidly.

"Whatsa matter wit you, Mo?" Boss snapped at poor Mo. Mo flinched even more.

"Duh..I think dat's da brudder of dat State Alchemist...duh...da short one," Mo mumbled.

Unfortunately for him, I heard the word short. "WHO'S SO SHORT THAT HE GETS TURNED DOWN BY MIDGETS BECAUSE THEY ONLY DATE TALLER MEN!" I screamed at them.

They ran away quite fast.

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"Alphonse Elric? Where is your brother?"

'Just my luck,' I thought with a groan, 'It's Scar.'

"Alphonse? I promised not to hurt you, but if your brother is nearby, he's in trouble," Scar hissed.

"Um..Yeah...I'm Alphonse! Yeah..." Scar had an extremely confused look on his face. Which was really funny, I might add. "And..um..I can't find my brother..yeah," I added. He looked even more confused...and even more funny.

"Do you need to find him?" he asked with a wicked grin. "I'll help you."

'Sure, Al! Make friends with the homicidal maniac who constantly tries to kill your brother. Great idea, Al! Let him lead you right to your brother and let him kill him! What an excellent idea! You deserve a flippin' pat on the back!' I thought viciously. "Thanks, but no thanks," I muttered, "I uh...am running...an...uh...yeah...ERRAND! AN ERRAND!" I screamed as I backed away slowly.

Scar furrowed his brow, and I could see the cogs turning in his head. I prayed that he didn't figure it out. "All right then," he said, a little too nice, and I would've questioned it if I wasn't so terrified. "But please tell your brother how lucky he is short, or else I would actually be able to see him," he said seriously.

'Oh cupcakes...NO CONTROL IT! VEIN STILL EXSISTS EVEN THOUGH I DON'T HAVE VEINS...NOOOOOOOOO! DON'T LOSE IT-AAAAAGHAHAHAHA!' I pleaded but my mind didn't listen. "WHO'S SO SMALL THAT THEIR VERY EXSISTENCE IS FOR SOMEONE TO STEP ON THEM?" I ranted right at his face and then covered my...er..mouth. "Oh shea butter," I groaned.

"Well, well, well, Fullmetal. It seems you are hiding in your brother's body," Scar chuckled and ripped off my head, OH THAT SOUNDS SOOO WRONG! "What?" he hissed as he saw that there was no one in the armor. "What is going on?"

I took this opportunity of doubt to grab my head (still sounds wrong) and run off.

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Finally I was at Hughes's house. "Finally I'm at Hughes's house," I groaned, once again stating the obvious. I realized I had to stop doing that. "I gotta stop doing that." I also realized I was an idiot. "Man, am I an idiot!" Okay, I really needed to stop doing that. "I REALLY gotta stop doing that." I wanted it to stop! "I want this to stop!" Make me. "What?" I'm controlling your thoughts. "It's controlling my thoughts!" Mwahahaaa. "It's laughing maniacally!" Okay, this is getting old. "This is getting really old." Bye. "It's leaving!" Actually, no I'm not! "Gaaah," I screamed. It was about to annoy me some more when I heard the sound of thrown object hit body. I realized Hughes had to be in trouble. "Hughes has to be in trouble!" Then I rushed in to save him. "I must rush in to save him!" were my parting words.

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"Stop Mrs. Hughes! Don't hurt Hughes!" I dashed in front of Mustang? A picture bounced off my chestplate and shattered on the floor. "Are you okay, Hughes?"

"How didja know it was me?" Mustang/Hughes wondered. He looked like he was about to drop dead, so I chuckled merri-um...I mean I felt sorry for him.

"Well... let me think! Hm..maybe it's because I'm a flippin' child prodigy in the field of Alchemy...or I read Bo Dyswitch's notes?" I said sarcastically. He glared at me with extreme hatred...just like Mustang! Wow, I could see the likeness... "Actually because you're the only one who would try to kiss your wife out of the people who switched bodies," I muttered.

"How did you get in here, Al?" he sighed, ignoring my sarcasm...also just like Mustang!

"Did you not just hear me? I'm ED FOR PUDDING'S SAKE! Aaaand...I came through the front door," I said boredly, pointing to the door.

"Maes?" Mrs. Gracia said from the wall. "Maes is that you?" Mustang/Hughes nodded and swept her off her feet. Aaaand he kissed her. Like, making out kissed her. It was not something I wanted to see. They finished kissing and her face was red. "Oh Maes it is you! No one but you kisses me like that!" They were about to kiss again when Armstrong came running in.

"Gracia excuse me, but I-" He paused. "Oh please tell me you're Maes Hughes.." he whispered, "And definately not Lt. Hawkeye..." he said almost silently. I think I was the only one who caught that last part. "Um.. You're need back at the library, immediately!" He flexed his muscles and the pink sparkles came back. MY ARCH NEMISIS...ES!

"Pretty pink!" Elysia exclaimed and tried to grab a 'pretty pink'. She latched onto Armstrong's arm and was swinging blindly at the sparkles. I almost fainted from laughter because Armstrong was blushing. Maybe he never realized that he sparkled? GIRLY COLORS?

"Let's go!" I groaned.

"Bye Elysia," Mustang/Hughes said and kissed Elysia on the head, "See you later. Daddy has a lot of work to do.."

She smiled and nodded. "Kay Mistah Pony! I be swure to tell Daddy dat you was kissin mommy!"

He collapsed on the floor. "NOOOO, ELYSIA!" Armstrong had to hold him back so he wouldn't kill me, so to speak. "I LOATHE YOU ED!"

"Thanks," I muttered as Armstrong dragged the both of us to the library, talking the whole way.

"Pink sparkles have been passed down the Armstrong line for generations and..."

Fin 4 Ed

Note: Um...if the conversation is too different from Maes's point of view, it's because this is what Ed hears in his mind. That is all. Sorry I took so long to update.