Disclaimer: I am not Tamora Pierce. If I were I'd have an assistant to wrap my Christmas gifts instead of having to do it myself.

A/N: In RotG, I always thought there was no way that Thayet didn't see Numair and Daine kiss goodbye outside the boat. So I decided there is an obvious reason.

Chapter 9 – Secrets

Perin walked Daine back to her room beneath the rider's barracks. She let Kit in and tried to say goodnight outside the door. Lately, Perin had been pushing to be invited inside. When Daine returned to Corus she made the shocking discovery that rumors had spread suggesting she had been canoodling with Perin. She did not know how they had started, but she most certainly didn't want to help them along.

"Aren't you going to let me kiss you goodnight?" Perin asked with an almost injured expression.

"Okay," she answered. She liked kissing well enough. The problem was that she wasn't entirely sure what she was doing with Perin at all. She wanted Numair. She couldn't have him. Perin was her age and he was nice to her. She had tried for a time to turn thoughts of Numair to Perin, but her heart refused to be fooled. Reminding herself that she needed to live in the real world, she leaned in for a kiss. His lips pressed her own and he wrapped his hands around her waist. She put her hands on his shoulders. She felt his tongue pushing for entry against her closed mouth. He had not done that before, but she went along a little awkwardly.

He pressed her heavily against the door and his hands began to roam. She tried to be swept into it, but her thoughts kept skipping to Numair and the way he smiled at her earlier. Then suddenly, she was aware that Perin's hands were under her shirt tugging at her breast band.

She grabbed his arms and stopped him. "That's a little more than a goodnight kiss," she said. "And that's not the kind of thing you should ever do out where everyone can watch."

"So invite me in," he said with an eagerness in his voice. "It is kind of cold out here."

"Sorry, no," she said in answer.

"Daine, how long are you going to keep teasing me? I've been seeing you off and on for months now."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to tease you," she said sincerely. "I'm not ready for more yet."

"Come now," he said almost incredulously. "I'm not your first. I heard all about your other conquests before I ever introduced myself.

Daine felt like she had been slapped. "Can't you smell a lie when you hear one?"

"You're not a noble's daughter. You're merely a horse mistress. You cannot convince me that you paid for your lessons from your earnings."

"If Numair is paid for teaching me, the payment comes from the king. He's never asked me for anything. He's not like that anyway. He's a very, very nice man."

"Right," he said sarcastically. "Everyone knows his reputation. You know he's been with ladies of the court – many, many of them. He's a player when it comes to women and he's played you rather well."

"What exactly is that supposed to mean?" She was losing her temper now.

"He used you for sex and convinced you to deny it by giving you a few cheap jewels. Priceless! Maybe I should take lessons."

"What in the name of the Black God are you going on about?" she asked.

"Mal is my cousin, Daine. I know he delivered a necklace to you for mid-winter from Salmalin."

Daine was terribly confused. She had asked Numair if the necklace was from him because it looked like the earrings. "He didn't – he couldn't have…"

"Maybe I've got it wrong. Maybe it wasn't a bribe. Was it a price? Do you charge for your services?"

She slapped him hard. He looked stunned for only a moment before he struck her back. "I can't believe I wasted my time on a freak bastard like you," he hissed. The words stung deeply. She wasn't sure if those were parting words but she was taking no chances. She turned into a lion and growled fiercely. He screamed and ran.

Daine went into her room before changing back. She sat hard on her bed. She thought about the fever dream and how true it had come to be. Numair was there and he was the one she wanted. He had been replaced smoothly by Perin, who she had been willing to settle for. Now she had neither and was no longer certain she wanted any man. And still she wanted Numair to explain it away and make it all alright again. She dressed hurriedly and decided to confront him.

She sobbed while she dug out the sapphire necklace. Kitten trilled her concern and tried to crawl in Daine's lap. Daine stared at the necklace. It had come in an unwrapped box which she thought was strange. She had tried to ask the boy who delivered it who it came from but he said he did not know. Her cheek ached from where Perin had struck her, her heart ached from doubt and she was crying like a baby. But she was going to get to the bottom of this mess and she was going to do it now. "Kit, stay here until I get back. I shouldn't be long." The little dragon looked worried rather than put off and sat on the bed.

------

Numair could not remember a time when Jon and Thayet had visited his rooms. It seemed that Thayet had decided they needed to bury the hatchet and she would not wait a day longer. He welcomed them to his sitting area and brought them tea.

"Let's talk this through like grown-ups," Thayet scolded when the two men remained silent for too long. "We're not going to bed until everybody is friends again." Numair thought that was probably more aimed at Jon and it carried the hint of a well-used threat.

"I can apologize again. You know I'm sorry if anyone was worried about me. But you did make me promise to guard her with my life."

"I didn't tell you to guard her with your life essence, Numair," Jon growled.

"I don't understand this at all," Thayet said. "Maybe if you explain it to me I can help you two straighten it out. I know you said Numair lent her his power and that it was a dangerous spell. But Jon, he does dangerous spells nearly every day."

"Not like this one," Jon said. "When Alanna put her hands on his chest, she could barely feel his essence."

"I didn't die. I rested and got stronger and took it back when Daine was healed."

"What do you mean by essence?" Thayet asked.

"The essence of my magic. My gift is very entwined in my strength. Daine was carrying around a little of my gift for a while. But it was very brief. As soon as she was up and about I took it back. I haven't figured out how to tell her that yet so please.."

"I thought if magic was removed from a soul, the person would die," Thayet said confused.

Jon said, "Exactly right."

Her beautiful porcelain skin went even whiter. "Why would you do that?" she asked.

"To save her. It was never a permanent transfer…" Numair started to say.

"Ahh, but he left out the best part. He was so weak he had to rest in between efforts. When someone is drained repeatedly without any time to build up more magic, and they're doing a spell to give away their essence – he put enough stress on his heart that he should have died before Alanna even found him. She was low enough on magic from healing that she might not have been able to help."

Numair ran a hand through his raven hair. "Jon," he said, "It was not as bad as you think. I'm a much stronger mage than average as you well know. While it's true that what I did would probably have killed another mage, I was never in any danger."

"Just promise me you won't take that chance again," Jon was almost pleading.

"I can't promise that, Jon. I don't know who it might be that needs a little strength if a situation like that occurs again. It might be you or Thayet or one of your children."

Thayet sat absolutely still for a moment while Jon looked like he wanted to argue more. Thayet's presence had put him on guard.

"So you're angry that he risked his life for another and won't promise never to do it again," she said to Jon. "And you won't promise not to do it again because you think you might need to save him someday," she said to Numair, Both men chuckled slightly at the obvious irony. "So basically you're both being thick headed and you're really angry because your friendship is too important to both of you."

Numair felt extremely stupid now and Jon looked like he might be thinking the same thing. "Point taken," he told Thayet with a big smile. Then he looked at Jon and tried to keep a straight face. "And Jon, I love you too." All three of them laughed and then they heard a knock at the door.

When Numair opened he saw Daine. She was wet from the snow storm and looked like she had been crying for at least twenty minutes. "Magelet, what has happened?" He pulled her into the room and saw what looked like the beginning of a nasty bruise on her cheek. He didn't think. He just pulled her into his arms and held her while she sobbed violently. Jon and Thayet rushed to where they stood to try to figure out what had happened and Numair let her go. Numair dug out a handkerchief and gave it to her and she began to wipe her eyes and blow her nose.

"Child what has happened?" Jon said. "You look like you've been attacked."

Thayet was fussing over her and Numair felt like he was in the way. But Daine reached for his hand and so he gripped hers until she pulled away. Then he realized she had given him something. He opened his hand to look and registered numbly that it was the sapphire necklace.

"Why?" she choked out. "You li-lied to me when I ask – asked you about it," she snuffled. "D –did you p – pay that b – boy to say he – he didn't know who s—sent it?"

He closed his eyes and sighed guiltily. He tried to think of the best way to explain this without confessing everything. "Yes," he said quietly.

"Why?" she asked again. "Do you know what they think – the gossips?" her voice became fierce. "Th – they think you paid me to sleep with me!"

"Well that's just stupid," Thayet interjected.

"You're just a child – why would he.." Jon started.

"In case you haven't looked lately, she's not a child," Numair said softly. "She is a very pretty young lady with swains lining up left and right. I know you ignore court gossip, but Daine has always drawn a lot, mostly because I'm the one teaching her. And that's why I sent it anonymously. I went a little crazy with mid-winter gifts this year and realized that I bought you three. I wanted to give them all to you, so I picked the one that seemed like it might cause the most problems and sent it anonymously. It was wrapped and I never told him what it was. I'm so sorry, Daine. If I had known someone would use that information to hurt you like this…"

Daine had ceased crying and was looking at him with hurt in her eyes. "Do you get paid to teach me Numair?"

"Not exactly. Jon pays me to teach in general. You are one of many students but you are the only one that I currently teach outside of a class. Stephan was a private student too because we worked on his wild magic." He lifted her chin gently. "You are a special student. I told you once that you teach me nearly as much as I teach you. Lately we don't even manage to connect for lessons. So our relationship is more one of friendship than teacher/student. Did the person who hit you use that as ammunition?"

She nodded.

"Did you turn into anything furry and bite him?"

She smiled and sniffed. "I turned into a lion and growled. He ran off."

"I could set fire to his loin cloth," he offered.

She laughed and wiped her eyes again.

"Come here," he said opening his arms again. She rushed to him and he held her tight. "I'm so sorry. I should have confessed when you asked about the necklace. For someone whose supposed to be smart, I sure make more than my share of thick-headed mistakes, don't I? Can you forgive me?

"Of course, Numair," she answered from inside the embrace. He looked up and realized that Jon and Thayet were still standing there. He had completely forgotten them. And Thayet was staring with a look of amazed comprehension on her face. It was too late to stop it. He realized with irony that he and Jon had just patched up their differences in time for him to completely destroy Jon's trust.

"Who did this to you, Magelet?" he asked again. He figured he might have time to kill the perpetrator before he got thrown in the dungeon.

"Perin," she answered barely audibly.

"Perin!" he said incredulously. "What reason could your boyfriend have to say those things to you -- or to hit you?" He felt rage bubble. "Where did he run to?" The last question was icy and the tone in his voice surprised even him.

"I didn't want to invite him in," she answered quietly. "He said I'd been teasing him. I tried to say I was sorry but he was so cruel. He said I was freak bastard. I can't deny either." She pulled back from the hug. "But you can't do anything to him, Numair, so you should just cool your temper." She smiled at him and the bubbling rage melted.

"Can't I hurt him a little," he said, more teasing than serious. She laughed.

"No, but I can send him packing," Jon interjected.

Numair looked at him trying to decide if he had come to the same realization as Thayet. Of course, she would probably clue him in later if he hadn't. He looked to Thayet and she smiled at him. He had not expected that.

Thayet and Numair walked Daine to her room while Jon went to where the clerks were housed. When she was safely back in her room he and Thayet walked in silence toward the castle. He wanted to ask her how long until the sky fell, but he couldn't say a word. He kept glancing at her waiting for the sharp words that never came. Before they reached the palace she said softly, "I'm good with secrets, you know."

He stopped dead in his tracks and stared at the queen, hardly believing his ears. He should say something but his voice didn't seem to work.

"Perin was courting her?" she asked. He nodded and swallowed hard. "He's lucky to be alive then." She said it so matter-of-factly that he laughed, albeit nervously. "When will you tell her?" she asked. When he didn't answer she said, "Numair, this is not something you can talk your way out of. I saw your face. You love that girl plain as day. And though I couldn't see her face, I know she's fond of you."

"Fond is what one feels for an eccentric uncle," he said softly. Thayet burst into laughter.

"Did Jon notice?" he asked after a long silence.

"I don't think so. He was too caught up in the fact that someone had hit her. Plus – I love my husband so don't take this the wrong way—but he's a little dense when it comes to matters of the heart. He hasn't figured out that Onua is seeing Sarge yet and they keep holding hands in the courtyard." Numair laughed.

"I can't figure out why I didn't notice this before," she continued and began to walk again. "I pride myself at smelling out romance." Numair was too embarrassed to respond. "I thought you and Elyra Kelton, maybe."

He grinned at the queen. "She's seeing Lindhall Reed."

Her eyes opened wide. "No!" she said incredulously. "Now how did I miss that?"

"Perhaps they're better at keeping their feelings masked than I am," he said a little hopelessly.

"Then maybe you shouldn't try," she said slyly.

"I'm too old for her," he answered sadly.

"I don't think so," she returned.

"Jon still thinks she's a little girl. You thought he was mad before…"

"He would recover eventually," she said sagely.

They had reached the corridor to Jon's study. "I will keep my hands to myself, I promise. I want her to be happy. Maybe it will go away someday."

She merely smiled at him. "You're too smart for that Numair. That's the way I look at Jon and he still captivates me after all these years."

He reached for her hand and kissed it. "Thank you," he said and then bid her goodnight.