Disclaimer: It's Tamora Pierce's not mine

Chapter 11 – Remedy

Numair stayed away. He ignored the burning ache that drew him to Daine and he reminded himself that her other friends had not contributed to her heartache whenever his mind tried to trick him into believing that she might need him to comfort her. But by the end of a mere ten days, he could no longer stand it. He needed to see her. He felt if he could look upon her and see just one smile he would know that she had not been crushed by Perin's actions, although he doubted if Daine would easily give her heart away any time soon.

The storms of the past weeks had left heavy drifts on the courtyard. Crossing it might have been impossible, were it not for numerous servants' efforts in shoveling. It was midday and he thought he might eat with the riders and Onua and Thayet. Doubtless, Daine would be there too. He could talk to her about future lessons and just see that she was alright.

A cozy fire had been built in the stove in the center of the room. He noticed the early volunteers sat separated from Thayet, Buri, Sarge, Onua and Daine. He came in and took a tray and sat with his friends.

"Numair!" Thayet greeted him, "I haven't seen you in days. How are you?"

He looked to her and smiled wanly. His normally swarthy complexion showed the recent mistreatment of his body. He'd hardly eaten. Depression had crept in and swallowed him whole. Though he attended to his duties, he had walked through the days barely aware of his surroundings. A few of the pages had asked him if he was ill. Jon had tried to send him to Duke Baird. He had told them all that he was spending his free time on a new working that was very taxing. It wasn't true of course. He could barely focus on his duties, much less focus on difficult magic. His week had been one of self-punishment and heavy thoughts that no one should wallow in. "I apologize for that. I've been pre-occupied," he lied. He stole a glance at Daine. She was staring at his face.

"Are you sick?" she asked. She stood and moved toward him.

He nervously looked down at his plate and muttered the same story he had told Jon. "I've been spending a lot of time on a new working." When he looked up, all eyes seemed to be on him.

Daine sat down right next to him. "You're thinner – a lot thinner. Are you not eating properly?"

He heard comments from Onua, Buri, Sarge, and Thayet, but the words didn't sink in. She was there so close. There was a buzzing in his mind – echoes of painful things he had told himself while mentally berating himself for what his reputation had done to Daine.

"I think you're sick," Daine said. She caught him in her gaze. "You're fair pale and you aren't s'posed to be pale."

His mind repeated penitent words that he'd said to her in dreams or during all-together sleepless nights. "I'm sorry," he voiced aloud, "so sorry."

"For what, Numair?" she asked with a warm and soothing smile. She brushed at his hair with a small hand that he longed to take in his own, but he remained frozen. "You're staring, Numair. What has happened?"

There was a hand on his forehead and he realized now that Onua, Buri, Thayet, and Sarge had all gathered around him, worried. "I'm fine," he said, pulling himself together a bit. "Just tired and, and Daine, can I talk to you outside?"

"I'm not sure you should be outside," she countered with that same warm smile. "We should take you to see Duke Baird."

"He cannot heal where there is no affliction," he argued. "There's nothing wrong with me."

"You are a little warm," Onua advised. He was sure now that she had said other things too. None of her words had actually reached him.

He became aware now that Thayet was giving him a strange look. "Numair, you do need to see the Duke. Either you walk with us now, or I'll send for him. He doesn't like to be outside in this weather, though, so it's best if you go willingly." Daine nodded vigorously and took his hand to lead him out.

Buri stayed behind, but Thayet, Sarge, Onua, and Daine all accompanied him back to the palace. He could hardly argue and though his mind screamed what was wrong with him, his mouth remained closed. They reached the rooms that Duke Baird used as an office and infirmary. His personal quarters were attached. The healer was currently working with his son on some piece of healing magic. The boy, Nealan, was near Daine's age, but looked much younger as teen boys so often do. The whole event seemed surreal.

Thayet talked to Duke Baird for a moment and the Duke came over. "Jon mentioned you seemed ill. I wondered when someone would drag you in here."

"I told them I'm fine," Numair responded. "They refused to listen." He was aware when Duke Baird's hands touched his chest. He felt magic probing him. He wondered idly if the Duke would find something that told the others everything. That would be humiliating.

"You have a bit of a fever. Nothing to worry about though. You probably wouldn't be sick if you'd take better care of yourself – eat properly for one. Have you had trouble sleeping?" the duke inquired. The absurdity of it all was entirely missed on the others in the room. He nodded in answer while he felt magic probing his head. "Neal, why don't you take the others back for a cup of tea while I talk to my patient." Numair stole another glance at Daine, who looked terribly worried. But she went with them.

When the door closed behind them, Duke Baird ushered Numair to achair in his office. He sat down too and gave Numair a scrutinizing look. "You have to be about the last person I ever thought would be sent to me for depression," the healer stated. Numair felt his mouth drop open. "Do you want to talk about what's eating you?" Numair shook his head emphatically.

Duke Baird sighed heavily. "This kind of thing irritates a healer, you know. I could fix your serotonin levels but you would likely be back to the same state by early evening. Since you are necessary to Jon, I want you to talk to someone. If you can't talk to a real someone, draw a picture of the person this is centered on and talk to the likeness. If I hear that you are still behaving oddly in a couple of days, I'll have to tell the king. He relies on you, Numair."

Numair looked at him in confusion. "Why would Jon need to know?"

"Because you're weakened by this. You're more susceptible to illness and lack of food and sleep are wearing on you. I don't want to be harsh, but maybe it's what you need. What has done this to you? You have never struck me as someone who might be prone to melancholy."

"Suffice it to say it is guilt. My actions harmed someone that should never have been affected by me."

"Can you make amends?"

"I tried. I ended up being escorted to you instead."

Duke Baird chuckled. "That's irony, isn't it?

The two men stared at each other for a minute. "Care to tell me which one, or do you want me to guess?" He motioned toward the other room.

Numair bit his lip and studied Duke Baird. He hadn't said how she had been injured by his actions. "Daine," he answered softly.

"Well this I can help with. Come with me." Duke Baird stood and Numair followed him to the other room.

Daine and Nealan were laughing. "…Crab apple," Neal sputtered. Onua and Sarge were still there, but Thayet had apparently taken her leave.

Duke Baird handed Numair a cup of tea and a cookie. "Sit!" he ordered.

"Are you alright?" Daine asked anxiously. Numair nodded.

"He's been neglecting himself, terribly," Duke Baird interjected. "Daine, would you do me a favor?"

"Of course," she answered.

"Would you take Numair back to the kitchens, get him something to eat, and stay with him until he eats every bite? Come and tattle if he refuses. He seems to think he can spend all his time on magical workings and his body will just cope. He probably hasn't eaten properly in a week."

Daine shot Numair an exasperated look, followed by a long suffering sigh. "I can make him eat, Duke Baird. And I'd be happy to look after him." Numair had to admire the Duke a little. It was the perfect excuse to talk to Daine alone and no one else was wise to it. He heard Onua and Sarge snigger. Numair thanked the Duke and followed Daine out of the office. Onua and Sarge headed back to the riders barracks. Daine promised Onua, "I'll meet you in the stables in an hour."

Daine and Numair shared a quiet meal in a store room near the kitchen where a small table had been set up. Clearly servants often ate here. Daine hadn't been able to eat more than a bite or two of her mid-day meal in the rider barracks, so the two ate together and talked a bit.

"Numair, what have you been working on so hard?" she asked after a long silence.

"Experiment," he answered cryptically.

"Is that why I haven't seen you since the night…" she broke off.

He stared at his plate and picked at his food. "I didn't think you'd want me near you," he said softly.

"Why would you think that?" she almost shouted.

"I'm the reason that Perin targeted you and broke your heart. I've not been very honorable with women and you have suffered for it."

She looked irritated. "Numair, he didn't break my heart. I don't know why you and Alanna think I was in love with him. I don't remember dreaming about him at all, except when he popped up in a dream about somebody else and I tried to ask him where…" She sighed heavily. Then she looked at him, eyes narrowed and asked, "And are you telling me you've ever hit a woman?"

"No, of course not," he responded almost defiantly.

"Did you ever force anyone?"

"Goddess no. Is that what you think of me?" There was more pleading in his tone than he would have preferred to exhibit.

"No, Numair. I think you are a good man. I was making a point. You seem fair determined to think you're to blame. I did that too and you should have seen how sharp Onua, Buri and Thayet corrected me. He was bad, s'all. Now eat, or I'll have to go tell on you."

When the two parted, Numair was amazed at how much better he felt. Sadly, time with Daine seemed to be necessary to him now. He thought about everything Duke Baird had said and he decided the picture idea had merit. Maybe if he could look at a portrait of Daine when they were separated, he could keep himself together. It should be small though; perhaps a locket, like what he and Daine had given to Alanna would do the trick. He wasn't sure what to tell the artist though. He couldn't ask Daine to sit for it. She'd merely laugh if he did. Plus, he'd have to explain things he wasn't ready to confess. Clearly he'd have to go to Volney Rain, who knew Daine well enough to paint her from memory.

He hardly realized he had crossed the palace to where Volney Rain kept a studio and room until he saw the brass plaque on the door. He knocked softly. "Enter," he heard the familiar voice say.

Volney's studio was a corner room with several large windows. It was a mark of the quality of his art that he had rooms in the palace. Not many artists earned that kind of honor in a lifetime. Volney was exceptional. He had a small amount of Gift that only seemed present in his art. It gave the subjects a life like appearance that could not be captured with paint alone. He regularly did portraits which the king gave as gifts to nobles. He had painted all of the royal family numerous times and had even done the murals on the walls of the nursery. He was currently working on a portrait of Prince Roald which had been commissioned to be sent to Roald's betrothed in the Yamani Islands. Numair had seen Volney set up in the King's study two days ago, where Roald had posed. Now Volney was filling in the final details.

"Numair Salmalin, what brings you to my studio?" Volney practically sung.

"I need another small portrait for a locket," Numair said softly.

"Ahhh, I knew you'd be back. That was some of my best work. The Lioness this time?"

"Uhh, no. Actually I need one of Daine. It should be approximately the same size."

Volney studied him for a moment, setting his paintbrush down on the easel. "For you? A delicious tidbit of gossip." The artist was an eccentric who could make a man feel like a gawky teen.

"Did I say it was for me?" Numair asked, using an authoritative tone he rarely exploited. "Your assumptions are fascinating, Volney. I did not know you were a gossip monger. That's a dangerous vice, considering the rare favor you enjoy from the King." He didn't look the man in the face, just stared at his own fingernails as if Rain were beneath him.

"I would never," Volney began apologetically. "I can be as discreet as the next man, Master Salmalin."

"I should hope you can be more discreet than the next man," Numair said haughtily. He paralyzed Volney in his gaze and waited a moment to release him. It was a nasty trick and one that he usually did not employ because he felt it was generally wrong to play with any sort of mind control. In this case, he needed to press his advantage to keep Daine from being further hurt by gossip.

Shaken by the show of power, Volney became extremely submissive. "I can have it for you quickly. Will two days be fast enough?"

"Yes," he answered in a more friendly manner. "I will pay you handsomely for your trouble. And remember, this should remain between us. If I hear the rumor anywhere, I will know it started with you and I will be most displeased." The air shimmered with the last two words and left Volney pale.

"Of course. Shall I deliver it, or will you pick it up?"

"I'll call for it in two days between my classes."

Numair left quietly. He needed to see a jewel-smith for a locket. But he had needed to find a way to do some shopping anyway. So he thought he would go into the market as soon as he could get through the snow.

-

-

-

Okay, respond.