Chapter 10: The Moanings of an Overgrown Dungeon Dweller

This cannot be HAPPENING!

Arrrggghhh! Finally I get a good night's sleep and what do I find when I wake up? I have NO BLACK ROBES LEFT! Only these turquoise things that I use as a noise blanket because of that squid, which doesn't work. I'll have to wear them, maybe nobody will notice?

They noticed. I am never going to go out of this room again.

Quirrel is stood outside right this minute saying,

"It's okay Severus, the students will come to terms with your new… er… fashion sense. I think it looks really good on you."

I think Quirrel is paying me compliments. And ones that aren't true. I am going mad, madder than I was before now anyway. Maybe I should visit that councillor again?

Tomorrow 12:00pm

Right, that's the time of the appointment, with a DIFFERENT COUNCILLOR, a Muggle one actually. I looked one up in this book called 'The Yellow Pages', it's called that because it has yellow pages (clever) and under councillors it had:

NEED TO SORT OUT YOUR LIFE?

(Yes I do)

FEEL THAT EVERYONE IS AGAINST YOU?

(I don't feel, I KNOW they are against me)

THEN CALL US TODAY AND BOOK AN APPOINTMENT

And then it told you the name and address and telephone number. Yes I know what a telephone is, I'm not quite that ignorant. So I floo- powdered back to my mother's house in Oxford somewhere and then rang from there.

Right, and now to sort out Quirrel, and them students.

I've finished dying my turquoise robes black and they look fine. Kind of. Okay it's naff, beyond naffness and into the cheapo nasty region. Ever heard of someone dying their clothes different colours? Hey, what would you do? Go into Hogsmeade probably, good point. I'm on my way right now, just need some floo- powder.

That stupid berk

Quirrel (the stupid berk) has been stood outside my room all the time I was in Hogsmeade, muttering his creepy little 'comforts'. Turban headed twerp. Hmm. I'm going for some breakfast.

In breakfast

Bloody students, the minute I came in they starting whispering. Well I'll give them something to really whisper about in a minute if they don't stop staring at me.

"Yes Miss Abbot?" Ha, that made her think twice about gawping at me like a friggin' goldfish. Maybe I should take some points of her house too just to make sure she has the point. Uh oh. Quirrel just asked me how I liked his book.

"It's, what's the word… Different." Yeh different in what way I have no clue because I haven't actually read it, oh well Quirrel will never know. Unless he asks me a really awkward question that only someone who had was actually sad enough to read the book would know, like he is now.

"I have a lot of classes to be terrorising, must be going." Well that's got me a bit of time, gullible or what.

It is absolutely FREEZING down here!

I'm in my dungeon and it is cold, very cold, actually it's extremely cold down here! I'm going to do a heat insulation charm so I'm warm and all the students can freeze to their seats while I'm toasty warm! Guess what, Gryffindor and Slytherin first! Well yay, what are the odds that Malfoy will say something cocky and really irritating to annoy Potter? My thoughts exactly.

I was right, aren't I always?

Well all Malfoy did was whinge to anyone who would listen (Crabbe, Goyle and Parkinson) about Christmas and how he was going home to daddy and mummy and getting lots of different Christmas presents. I almost felt like crying- I don't have a mummy and daddy to go home to. They disowned me when I was in third year. Me being in Slytherin wasn't the best thing I could have done to please them. Anyhoo. Malfoy then started going on about people who were staying at Hogwarts for Christmas (i.e. ME)

"I do feel sorry, for all those people who have to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas because they're not wanted at home."

That's what Malfoy said, obviously looking at Potter while the two planks next to him chuckled their heads off, but what about me? I have to stay at Hogwarts with McGonagall the old bag. And I'm not wanted at home. If I wasn't so thick skinned I could be very upset by that.

THEN at the end of lesson, as if Malfoy hadn't caused me enough upset he went and picked a fight with Weasley. Hagrid- the overgrown bucket that he is- was moving a fir tree (I hate those things) to somewhere and Malfoy had to say some clever remark about Weasley wanting to live in Hagrid's 'house.' Well Weasley went for Malfoy just as I came up the stairs. (Well actually I was lurking at the top of the stairs because I knew something was going to happen and I didn't want to miss it. I think I have a sixth sense…) Now me being me, I never miss a chance to take points of Potter and Weasley so off came five. Ha! Stick that in your rabbit home and smoke on it!

What have they done to the Great hall?

Look at it! Holly and mistletoe everywhere, TWELVE of them HORRIBLE friggin' Christmas trees, covered in icicles and candles! Flitwick the stupid little man is putting GOLDEN BUBBLE round one of them! The world has gone mad! This is a SCHOOL!

They've broken up!

Yeh! Finally, I can get some peace! Well all the schoolies have beggared off home leaving me to enjoy Christmas on my own by the fire. Oh, I bet you're wondering what is happening with the squid? Well yesterday I went to the lake and poured in the SOLUTION and hopefully it has worked, I am just about to go out to the lake and check on the squid and ask it about it's love life. Ha, ha, ha, I love me. Who doesn't?