A/N: Hello peoples! I have returned! -waits for applause... sighs- Fine, be like that... Anyways, the reason for the delay and the possibly sucky chapter, REVIEW and tell me, lol, is cos I'm sick. As I've told my mates many times this week, I've consequently also squicked them out badly: It feels like a little critter with claws like rusty nails has burrowed into my head through the base of my skull, to tear through my jaw and crawl into the soft tissue of my palate, to finally make its nest in my brain. It's unpleasant, I know, but I'm suffering so the rest of you should be too... lol, I'm kinda dizzy now, so I'll keep this short... Ooh, wait, I forgot, I'm actually using script from the game in this chappy, cos I thought lowering the tone by ruining the original plot wasn't enough! Hahahahahaha! -coughs-
DISCLAIMER: I, Sophie, or whatever my pen-name at the moment is, do not own Final Fantasy X-2, or Undead and Unemployed, which Rikku was reading last chapter, I just kinda forgot to mention it, lol. I don't own 8-BT either, but I've mentioned it wherever it crops up in here, so NO SUING! Ya hear me?
-fallenAngel- Thanks for reviewing! Yay for reviewing! -dances- Ok, you can obviously see Rikku hasn't got her newfound sensibility from me, but I just thought that her being there as the scantily-clad stupid one was selling her a bit short, and I wouldn't be able to do much with the plot with such a 1D character, lol.
-Jezzi- Ya really think it's cute? Yay! I always thought I was too deranged to do cute, but thank you, you have shown me a new side of myself... or... something... Yeah... that's it... Enjoy?
-FlyHigh4Life- Awww, thanks for likin' the update, I am very smug, hee hee. I'll try to keep up the good work, but as I've announced earlier: Sophie sick possibly crappy chapter, I was too headachey to be arsed to read through it.
-Rikku SWiRLS- Yay! You still like me! -dances- And I'm still alive! lol... I made a voodoo doll once, we were making these little string dolliesin primary school for Sports Day, and I'd been playing too much Monkey Island. I decided to make my nemesis go into some sort of pain-induced seizure while she was running, so a select group of myself and my ninja friends managed to collect the neccessary ingredients: Something of the head, something of the thread, something of the body and something of the dead. Cos she had frizzy hair, she moulted like, all the time, so that was easy. For numero dos, we stole some bobbles off her cardigan. For the body, which would've been unpleasant any other way, the person who shared a desk with her managed to obtain a broken fingernail, how, to this day I will never know. And finally, cos we were only like, ten, we used lamb bones, cos digging up thecorpse of one of her ancestors was creepy... and illegal, and my Mum would've asked why she had to take us to the cemetary, lol. We ended up making the doll, but then we all felt kinda stupid cos none of us had a pin on the day, so I ended up squishing it with my fist, but alas, she remains alive... to the best of my knowledge, lol... Oops... I babbled again... heh-heh?
Chapter Eight: Like the Ticking of a Clock, the Misunderstandings Never End
Turning up at the front door to the Holy City when you were Al Bhed had already been established by my kind as a rather gargantuan no no long before I had been born, but, the baldies in dresses were beginning to loosen up a wee bit, so I should've been put at some kind of uneasy standby mode as I was shown inside. However, as circumstances were, as always, against me, it would be safer to say that they would have been happier to see me if I had shown up in anything other than my current attire.
My hair was loose and matted, and with the amount of plant life in it, most people wouldn't be too wrong if they thought I'd come through a bush backwards. My outfit was still damp and clingy, and the colours were beginning to run together in the most unpleasant way, oh wait, the most unpleasant thing was the stench of river water. You kinda wished that people would have the decency to allocate some nice people to send some pool-boys with nets to filter out the nastiness, but alas, no, there weren't any, so Yevon knew what was in that water, apart from random pieces of litter, corpses and Shoopuff dung. Carrying on with the examination, we will come to rest on my beautiful, precious shoes. Shoes now absolutely unsalvageable due to the fact that I was trailing a foul concoction of stomach acid, fluorescent green bile and what appeared to be carrots, -even though we hadn't eaten any in a damn long time, not being able to afford vegetables and other forms of vitamins- as had been made quite visible by the path of sticky footsteps I had created on my short sojourn from the Celsius.
However, no one really seemed to be in a competent state to comfort me, seeing as Yuna was too busy trying not to projectile vomit in my direction again and Brother was trying to console her from as far away as possible. Buddy and Shinra were standing at the sidelines, watching the events unfold in poorly masked pity and no small amount of embarrassment. Paine was, surprisingly, subconsciously preening in the corner of my peripheral vision, running her hands through her hair every so often so the forelock would stay in place and obscure her ruby eyes, even if it couldn't conceal the light infusion of pale pink in her cheeks. I was even more stunned to see that the otherwise stoic Paine was shifting her weight from side to side, massaging her wrists anxiously when she wasn't playing with her hair. I never thought I'd see the day when that girl fidgeted, but it was rather amusing.
However, obviously not as amusing as the sight I myself seemed to be providing, if Gippal's reaction was anything to go by. He'd had the common sense to put some clothes on, although, as seems to be a damned annoying trend, the low neckline of his shirt was unfortunately unable to hide the monster hickey gracing the column of his throat. As if this wasn't enough, he kept playing with one of his earrings, which of course, would attract the eye to land smack bang on his neck, population: giant love bite! Further perusal showed that he'd also obviously been in Paine's room to raid some gel from her, given the now immaculate state of his hair, which was another disappointment, cos he was really cute with his messy, mussed up fringe of sorts.
-I wonder if he'd let me grow his hair out longer? It would be so much fun to play with! -
Gippal had noticed me pouting however, and had easily made the connotation with the cataclysmic notion that I was scheming. Hence, he had backed away slightly, using Paine as a human shield as she was too distracted to pummel him. After a few moments of eerie silence, he concluded that nothing was going to explode, so he peered around Paine's shoulder, to begin snickering at the state I was in again. I decided to stop entertaining the thought of Gippal with shaggy long-ish hair, seeing as if the Praetor or whoever came to greet us and none of us even noticed he was there, we'd probably not make too great a first impression on the man… or woman, go equal rights and employment opportunities!
However, when the ridiculously large double doors opened outwards; seeing as the priests had forbade me entrance for the sake of the ancient mosaic flooring; which of course had Gippal in stitches again, we were brought face to face with a male religious figurehead, which led me down a dark, sordid path in my brain.
For one, if this guy wasn't clad in formless, lime green robes, he could pretty easily have been one of the most beautiful creatures I had ever seen. Chocolate skin, hair like gun metal in the moonlight and topaz eyes, this Yevonite was definitely the personification of all that was aesthetically pleasing in this world, all culminated in the form of this dark angel that stood before me. Of course, my mouth couldn't form the words to make that otherwise eloquent declaration, so Gippal reminds me constantly; and none too happily, I might add, that when he went to shake my hand I almost tripped over my tongue.
Speaking of Gippal, he was looking to the man with warmth and familiarity in his eye, which was pretty much extinguished when he saw me drooling quietly beside him. In fact, I was damn sure I heard a fairly audible click as he turned off the charm in favour of glaring a mighty glare, and the ferocity seemed to be palpably rolling off him in waves. I had the sense to turn around when I felt Paine glaring at me just as hard as Gippal was glaring at the Yevonite and the final piece of the puzzle slipped into place. However, before I could deliver the denouement with all of the dramatic flair I possessed, Yuna grabbed my arm and wrenched me aside. I looked into her odd eyes, which I noticed were luminous with panic and unshed tears.
"We should leave." She murmured, eyes darting around like a hunted animal. Her hand hadn't left my arm and I was beginning to lose feeling in the abused limb.
"Er, what's the matter Yunie?" I whispered back, realising that leaving Gippal glaring at Baralai and Paine in monotonous catatonia wasn't gonna make us look all that capable or organised. Oh wait, Brother was flapping at the man; that was sure to save face…
"Well, you see, there was this arrangement… with the son of the chairman of New Yevon, the Praetor. I turned the offer down, but I thought it'd be kind of awkward." She hissed, becoming more mortified with each passing second. My eyes widened momentarily, before my brows furrowed as I thought.
"You don't mean an arrangement like MY arrangement, do you?" I shrieked; a wee bit too loudly. Yunie seemed to have noticed this too.
"Rikku! Be quiet!" She hissed, clapping a hand over my mouth as my mind continued to reel. Yuna was marrying Paine's boyfriend to be?
-Why is my life like a Yevon damned soap-opera?-
However, before I could start shooting my mouth off some more, the Praetor's mouth curved into a small smile.
"Ah. As it happens, the chairman has recently resigned. As did his son, the Praetor. They were trying to take too much power. We had to ask them to leave. Now the younger members run the party - by mutual consensus, of course." He stated, his voice always collected, polite, with just a hint of amusement. Paine's head shot up and her gaze fell hard on my poor cousin, I'm talking like a ton of bricks hard, too. Gippal and I snorted in unison at the 'mutual consensus' bit, then looked sheepishly to each other. "So you see, Lady Yuna… It is not I that was meant to marry the High Summoner." He concluded, tearing his eyes away from Yuna to shift his gaze to Paine. The tranquil Praetor seemed to transform before my very eyes into a love-struck teenager and it was all I could do not to coo at him. Gippal of course took this the wrong way and started to glare at the poor boy again, while Paine blushed furiously and turned her back on us.
The awkward moment continued to drag on though, until I sighed and grabbed the sphere from my slack-jawed brother's hands. This seemed to jerk the Praetor to his senses and he smiled peacefully again. The weird thing was, it was a highly adorable smile, and it made his unusual eyes brighter and even more intense, but my heart wasn't doing gymnastics about my ribcage, my palms weren't any damper than they had been previously, and I didn't feel like I was going to swoon any time soon. I turned to the angrily muttering Gippal and touched my gloved hand to his arm. He quieted instantly and turned to me, confusion, annoyance and a half-smile warring for dominance on his face. I smiled warmly and linked my arms in his.
"I'd expect this kinda happy reunion attitude from Paine, but the least you can do is say hi to your buddy." I whispered into his ear, tugging at the earlobe he'd been worrying at with my teeth. Gippal seemed to become slightly more coherent, and at least a hell of a lot less territorial, and held out his hand with a congenial smile.
"Nice to see you 'Lai, it's been a while." He announced graciously, and I saw the Praetor let out a breath I hadn't known he was holding. I guess Gippal was a lot scarier than I thought… Well, I thought he was just like a big, posturing kitty cat, but that's only cos he was wrapped tight around my little finger, unless he wanted me to set my Pops on him. Baralai took Gippal's outstretched hand nervously, and Gippal, being just as touchy-feely as I was, pulled him into a manly hug. Much patting on the back ensued and I had to roll my eyes and bite back a grin, they really were too cute.
"Gippal, it really has been too long." The Praetor replied when Gippal had finally let him go. He looked over to me and cocked his head. "I think you're gonna give me more news than I expected, eh?" He asked cheekily, chuckling when Gippal ran his hand through his hair and diverted his line of sight to his boots. Then, an idea struck like a stupid icky lightning bolt and he turned to me, but I was ready for him.
"Your friend, your bombshell, I ain't doing it." I said simply, sticking my tongue out when he scowled at me.
"Cid's Girl, he'll laugh at me!" He moaned petulantly, causing me to quirk an eyebrow.
"This charming, mild-mannered young man would laugh at the Great Gippal?" I asked in mock-disbelief, making Baralai snicker, Gippal blush harder and Paine pivot round to give me her patented death glare. Gippal started to mumble at me and I giggled softly. "What's that? Don't tell me that the big bad leader of the Machine Faction's actually as brave as a widdle baby Chicobo?" I asked patronizingly, enjoying the novel sight of Gippal's ears turning pink.
"Fine!" He cried, sighing dramatically whilst trying to gather up the shattered pieces of his fragmented ego. Hands in pockets, he looked up slightly to his friend. "You wanna be mumble mumble?" He asked, and I pinched the bridge of my nose, before pinching the back of his neck, studiously avoiding the hickey and blushing at the mere thought of it.
"I didn't quite hear you Gippal, and I don't think anyone else did either." I ground out from my tightly closed teeth, beginning to tighten my grip on the handful of skin resting between my fingers. Gippal yelped loudly and started to bat at my hand, much to Baralai, and Paine's, who'd stopped glaring, thank Shiva, amusement. "Ok! Ok, let me go! Stop pinching!" He wailed, causing everyone present, with the exception of himself, to crack up at his less than masculine behaviour.
"Baralai, would you do me the great honour of being my best man?" He asked, before I pinched him harder. "OUR best man?" My grip didn't loosen. "Please?" He squeaked. I released him from the torment he suffered at my hands and clapped excitedly. Another job well done, just like killing two birds with one stone! Even though killing birds wasn't very nice, unless it was those damned gulls in the Calm Lands, I swear, if one of them dive-bombed me ONE MORE TIME…
-Er… where were we?-
"The honour would be mine, my friend." Baralai answered sincerely, bestowing his blessing upon us by making the symbol of a Blitz victory, which still confused the hell outta me. I mean, I could understand if it was one or the other, but both a prayer and a sporting gesture? "I take it that this is the unfortunate that's done what every other woman was unable to?" He asked with a crafty smile, much akin to elbowing my scarlet fiancé in the ribs and winking.
"Yup, unique unfortunate at your service." I deadpanned, "Most people call me Rikku though." I concluded, smiling as I offered the Praetor my hand, which he took graciously, brushing a chaste kiss across my knuckles. However, this action coming from him seemed completely normal, as well as innocent, as opposed to Gippal, who thought chivalry was all one big joke. Paine didn't take the hint and proceeded to stab me with her eyes.
"It is an honour and a pleasure to meet you, my Lady." He stated, and I smiled smugly. No one EVER called ME a Lady!
"If you're gonna be formal, call her Princess, it gives her a real kick…" Gippal drawled, obviously wanting revenge for the whole, pinching deal.
"I'm not the only one that's gonna get a kick." I said sweetly, turning to him with a saccharine smile playing about my lips. Baralai hid a smile behind his hand.
"Then forgive me, Princess, it had slipped my mind of your position in the Al Bhed." He apologised. I brushed off his comment with an upraised hand and glared at Gippal.
"Well, I still insist you call me Rikku, cos that way I won't be reminded every two seconds that Gippal will be King of anything other than the town his own ego has overpopulated." I sniped, chuckling when Gippal clutched his heart and pretended to die loudly and melodramatically behind the Praetor.
"I love you too Honey bunch!" He simpered, batting his lashes at me and making me mock-gag.
"Well, anyway, now that this marriage mess is cleared up, I think we'd better give your sphere back." I announced sheepishly.
"Thank you. It's not every day you meet hunters who are willing to bring back a sphere they stole." Baralai replied with a rueful grin, accepting the insignificant looking object that had been the cause of so much trouble without so much as blinking. Yuna stepped to the fore and started to fiddle with her skirt frills.
"It's kinda a long story…" She muttered bashfully.
"You helped us keep the sphere out of the hands of the Youth League. I'm willing to leave it at that. You've been of great help, High Summoner." Baralai interrupted formally, making me roll my eyes sardonically.
"Hello? We're the Gullwings, and surprisingly, Yuna has a name." I stated tartly.
"Ah, forgive me. By the way, have you seen the contents of the sphere?" The Praetor asked curiously. Paine just snorted and resumed avoiding eye contact with the man.
"Yes, we have." Yuna answered for us.
"Then… I suppose I have a little explaining to do. What you saw is Vegnagun, a weapon built roughly one thousand years ago. It's currently being held under tight security. The location is, of course, highly classified." Baralai said, even though I wasn't exactly impressed at just how little of an explanation we had received.
"I see Yevon still like its secrets." Paine wisecracked, causing me to half smile and half wince.
"True. The Youth League would like nothing more than to use Vegnagun to control Spira. But do not be afraid. We will stop them at all costs." Baralai answered, expression shifting from a wry smile to grim determination as his full mouth became a hard, unfeeling line.
"Can you tell me…? Please, who was the man in the sphere?" Yuna pleaded desperately, and my heart broke when I noticed the pain in her eyes. Baralai's expression became guarded and I frowned.
"Sorry, I'm afraid I couldn't say…" He answered, polite and emotionless once again.
"I see…" Yuna concluded brokenly.
"About this, returning of the sphere… We are not necessarily on the side of the Youth League… but… Bevelle… and, Yuna's ARRANGEMENT…" Brother started awkwardly.
"It's not that we wouldn't appreciate your support. On the contrary, you'd be most welcome. But I understand if your feelings toward Yevon are mixed. But I would hope that you could put that aside and join our cause. The world is changing, and there many who are finding it difficult to keep up. New Yevon wishes to help those who feel lost in the winds of change. If you'll excuse me, there are matters which require my attention." Baralai announced slickly. My jaw dropped like someone had tied a stone to it without me noticing. I whipped around quickly and saw Paine's right eye twitch, which was definitely not a sign of good things to come. Baralai was beginning to shuffle off back to his paperwork or whatever, but I grabbed him by the collar and dragged him through the double doors with me as they closed.
Inside the recesses of Bevelle was pretty much just as creepy as it had been last time I was there; and Baralai wasn't doing much for my comfort levels as he looked just as stunned as I felt. I suddenly realised that it looked like I, an Al Bhed figurehead had just abducted the Praetor of New Yevon and couldn't hold in an anguished groan.
"This isn't what it looks like, I can promise you that." I said tiredly, letting the Yevonite go and brushing some imaginary lint off his robes. "It's just; I think you must've been a bit distracted back there, am I right?" I asked like a nice, well-balanced lady, ready to turn into evil incarnate at any moment. Baralai just looked at me in barely concealed confusion so I sighed.
"I know it's hard to make sense of anything that my brother says, but you just proclaimed quite merrily that you wanted to marry my cousin, for the CAUSE. This was a bad move, as my cousin was so worried about this announcement that she puked on my brand new boots, and because Paine may kill her if Gippal doesn't manage to keep her pinned down 'til I get back. Am I making this clear enough for you?" I asked condescendingly, making the Praetor pale considerably.
"I did what?" He asked weakly, before realisation came about. "Why would Paine be angry? Did I make her angry?" He panicked, and I almost started to freak out too, because I was ill-equipped to deal with a hyperventilating official who I had supposedly kidnapped.
"Ok, I see I'll need to take this in baby steps…" I moaned, massaging my temples to stave off the incoming headache. "Paine likes you." My declaration was rather blunt, but I really didn't expect what was coming next. The Praetor's amber eyes rolled back up into his skull and he collapsed, landing in a boneless heap on the antique floor. Other priests were beginning to gather, bellowing angrily at me. Now panic was definitely in order, seeing as two and two had come to a number that really wasn't four, which meant that the Yevonites were beginning to come to the dreadful conclusion that I had murdered the Praetor I had kidnapped minutes prior.
Seeing very few options remaining to me, I elbowed my way through the guards and burst through the grand doors, taking off down the pathway and getting a brief glimpse of Paine, with Gippal frantically trying to keep her arms away from her sword, screaming at a teary Yuna. However, all melodrama on that front was immediately usurped by the scene I had caused, as the entire militia of Bevelle seemed to pour out through the entranceway. I looked back with huge, fearful eyes before cursing under my breath. "What the hell is wrong with you lot? RUN!" I bellowed, and from the reaction of the Gullwings, I didn't need to tell them twice.
"Cid's Girl, what did you do now?" Gippal whined as he quickly caught up to me. I didn't pause to glare at him, only picked up the pace.
"They think I've murdered Baralai!" I moaned back, punching myself in the hip in a futile attempt to make a stitch go away.
"Dammit! It was my job to kill that bastard!" Paine roared from close behind me.
"Paine, shut up! This is not the time to bitch about the fact that my damned life has become some giant misunderstanding!" I raged, risking a glance back to see Shinra scuttling along at the rear, hot on the heels of a flailing brother and a sprinting Buddy, who was ushering a sniffling Yuna along as she tried to stay as far away from Paine as the situation would let her.
"I didn't mean to upset anyone, why do I have to keep on getting married all the time?" Yuna bawled, and the headache stepped up the pain a notch.
"Suck it up; you're the High Summoner for Ixion's sake! We can sort out this disaster back on Celsius, but now, your main damned priority should be in running as fast as your legs will carry you!" I bellowed over my shoulder, before bowling over the little old man that controlled the lift and leaving him in the dust. "Sorry!" I called back, wincing at his cry that sounded suspiciously like: "Ah! My brittle old man hip!" (A/N: Quote from 8-Bit Theatre, which I also do not own, seeing as Brian Clevinger does, he's a genius!) I heard Gippal emit something between a wheeze and a cackle, but I felt just as winded and therefore wasn't in the mood to threaten him with a large stick. "Great!" I moaned, "Not only have I been re-dubbed a murderess of religious officials, I leave orphans in my destructive wake!" I groused when I heard an anguished howl of: "GRANDPA!" somewhere in the general vicinity that I was fleeing from.
The Celsius came into view, and I was never happier to see the kitschy paintjob looming over the wilting trees of Macalania. I risked another glance back and judged that we wouldn't be taking off without a few more problems.
"Buddy, Brother, I need you to prep the ship for takeoff as quickly as you physically can; and I'm expecting results or I'm going to give your worthless corpses the most severe kicking you'll ever receive in both lives!" I threatened, and judging by the dust cloud that had once contained the odd pair, they were finally taking me seriously. "Gippal, I know you've probably gone soft with your cushy faction job, but do you remember how to work a machina?" I asked teasingly.
"Cid's Girl, even if I had to use the tools of the trade with my FEET I'd be more efficient than you ever will be." He replied arrogantly, snorting indignantly that I'd belittled his engineering prowess.
"Right Gippal, you've just volunteered yourself for point; the gunner's chair is that way." I ordered, before severing communication entirely by turning my back on him. Yuna was trying to shrink into the walls, obviously because Paine was approaching like a pissed off Tonberry. I shuddered at the mental image, remembering one unfortunate part of Yuna's pilgrimage where I'd made an almost fatal mistake with one of the little buggers.
-o0o-FLASHBACK SEQUENCE-o0o-
"Awwwww, Yunie, look at this little guy! Can we keep him?" I'd squealed in my adolescent excitement, bounding up to the little green cutie with the lamp-like yellow eyes. I had neglected to notice the rather lethal looking butcher knife hanging limply at its side, but I think it was because I'd noticed the potato sack it had been wearing and the desire to play dress-up dollies had overruled what little common sense I had possessed at that age. Not that I had much more two years later, but I definitely learnt my lesson the hard way. I was never going to even entertain the thought of trying to put a Tonberry in a pink taffeta dress again.
"Girl, you try and make that thing a pet and it'll turn you into cold-cuts before you can buy it a collar." Auron spat coldly. I turned around to pout at him, hands on hips, before plucking the sunglasses off his nose and placing them awkwardly on my own.
"I'd have to give him a name before I bought him a collar, but it's a great idea, Mr. Grumpy-pants!" I'd chirped, thoroughly enjoying the irritated facial tic that was becoming more defined as each day passed I received for my troubles. I crouched down to gaze adoringly into the glowing golden eyes of the little critter, before screwing up my face in thought. "I have it! I shall name you, my little friend: Jim-Bob McTonberry!" I announced delightedly, patting the newly named Jim-Bob on his scaly emerald head. He started to waddle closer to me and I grinned, "I think he likes his new name!" I called back to the others, before the most bizarre, obscure and frightening noise invaded my ears: DOINK!
It may not seem all that terrifying, but trust me on this one; this sound signifies the end of existence for the mortal who hears it, of course unless you run away like a child encountering a clown. However, I think blood-loss was making me more air headed than usual, so I brandished the flat of my hand and tapped the Tonberry reprovingly on the nose. "Naughty Jim-Bob! Stabbing Mummy in the leg is not allowed!" I chastised, wagging my index finger disapprovingly.
Jim-Bob was obviously not impressed by my antics, as he rubbed his nose, which shouldn't have stung cos the blow I gave him was glancing at best, and started to swing his lantern around in concentric circles. The revolutions of the entrancing light became more intricate as time passed, and I was hypnotised by the combined illuminations of the lantern and the Tonberry's eyes. However, next thing I knew, Wakka had heaved me over his shoulder and was running full pelt away from Jim-Bob.
When we returned to the scene Jim-Bob was scuttling off back from whence he came, and all that was left of the small plateau we had been walking on was a smouldering crater; so I laughed sheepishly while Yuna and Lulu double-teamed to scold me, well, until they realised that I was haemorrhaging quite drastically; I think I tipped them off when I started to sing a time-old nursery rhyme about the Moomba that went to sea to catch a fish for his beloved Moogle, Mindy Mog, but it might've also been due to the fact that Lu had accidentally dropped one of her cursed marionettes in the ever growing puddle of blood, so it started to sing with me. That reminded me that I'd left the tap-dancing stuffed Cactuar in a chest somewhere in my room, so I resolved to show it to Gippal and freak the bejeebus out of him.
o0o-END FLASHBACK-o0o-
I snickered wickedly before remembering what had led me off on the random tangent anyway.
"Paine, no killing!" I yelled, thrusting myself in the closing gap between my homicidal friend and cowering cousin. "Yunie, go with Shinra, keep him safe; Paine and I will take care of any potential stowaways." I dictated with a cruel smirk, which Paine also adopted. "I don't know what you want to believe, but contrary to popular belief, Baralai is beyond besotted with you." I remarked randomly, causing Paine's face to fall momentarily, before she turned on me angrily.
"If this is your idea of a joke, Rikku, I'll tell you now that I'm not finding it very funny." She answered irately. I held up my hands in surrender and shook my head frantically.
"I'm being totally honest with you, he was so distracted he didn't even think about what he was saying; which I guess makes it your own fault for making him stare at you." I chuckled, recalling the two very different faces of the Praetor.
"I may have believed you two years ago… but now… I can't even remember the person he…" She trailed off sadly, and I wondered whether I should hug her, respect points be damned.
"You don't have to say it, I think I understand." I interrupted softly. Paine nodded gratefully to me and I smiled wickedly. "I never knew Paine was into the pretty boys though." I giggled, watching the crimson eyes of my friend widen in shock.
"Minus three respect points." She laughed, and I joined in, unable to hold a pout on my face.
"Just promise me you'll clear the air when we go back to Bevelle, cos I've got my suspicions that the Youth League won't wait for Vegnagun forever." I said, smiling when Paine grudgingly nodded. "Well, there we are, Rikku has once again saved the day after bringing certain doom down on our heads in the first place!" I giggled ruefully.
"You're definitely as much of a hindrance as you are a help." Paine agreed with a small smile. I pretended to take offence at her statement before dissolving into laughter again.
"I think you definitely have something there, but first, we've gotta clear out the cavalry." I grinned, pounding my fist into the large red button keeping the hold closed. The landing ramp slowly extended outwards and my gaze met those of the Bevelle militia. I turned to Paine and we both traded evil smiles.
"It's hurt time…" She growled.