This was a joint effort by watshername14 and just a rambling romantic… V.vUU
Rated: T
Disclaimer: WE ARE TWO TEENAGERS WRITING A FRICKIN FMA TOTALLY SPIES CROSS OVER! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK WE WOULD OWN THESE SERIES, I MYSELF SPIT AT THE THOUGTH OF CREATING TOTALLY SPIES XDDD
CHAPTER ONE
Alex and Sam walked down the hallways of Beverly High School, normally an annoying bouncing blonde would be accompanying them but she had decided to go get coffee then meet up with them instead. Earlier that day they had receive word from Jerry that two people from central headquarters would be coming to woop and helping them with any mission that they might have, so they had kept their eyes peeled all day for a sighting of such persons. When they rounded the corner to get to the courtyard they quickly hid behind the corner again, because in the middle of the courtyard were two people, one in blue and the other in red and black.
"Remind me why we're here again?" Came the bored question from an equally bored blonde alchemist. Edward Elric and Roy Mustang were standing in the middle of the courtyard of Beverly High School, looking rather out of place with the rest of the people. Needless to say they were attracting quite a bit of attention.
"For the last time, we're here on military business." Roy growled.
"So tell me this: Why the hell are we at a high school?"
"Because, Fullmetal," Roy sighed and put a hand to his temple, "this is where the Woop head man told us to be to meet him."
Edward didn't find the answer satisfactory, though. He fidgeted and stretched, "I'm bored, when are we gonna get to see some action?" he whined.
Alex and Sam exchanged a look, mentally agreeing to stay hidden, but it was then that their blonde teammate walked up behind them, dropped her coffee in excitement and all but yelled, "Hey, who is that HOT man!"
Roy snapped his head up in surprise, then Ed noticed a familiar glint in his eye as he said in a silky voice, "Well, hello there…"
If there was one thing that annoyed Edward in this world, it was watching the colonel moon over women. He wasn't exactly sure why, but it made him want to kill something, so instead he repressed the urge and contented himself with just tripping Roy instead, "Watch your step, Mustang."
Roy went down with a thud, angrily he glared up at the younger alchemist, "That was uncalled for!"
Edward shrugged and glared back at him, "Whatever."
The three Woop agents made their way into the courtyard and Clover piped up with a flirty grin on her face as she addressed Roy," Say, are you one of the guys that we are supposed to be working with?" Then she looked around, "But, where is the other one?" she joked.
Edward felt a vein pop out of his forehead; it seems that he had found the other most annoying thing in the world, short jokes. Although it wasn't more annoying than Mustang's flirting, it was pretty damn annoying. Somehow he kept his cool, though and didn't say a word.
"You're from Woop? But you're still in high school!" Mustang lowered his voice.
Clover leaned her body forward in a very feminine manner indeed, "Pretty cool, huh?"
"Since when did you care about age, bastard?" Ed growled.
"Watch your mouth, Full metal." Roy put a gloved hand over Edwards mouth, which was slapped away.
It was then that Clover seemed to notice him and she leaned down and spoke to him in a very grownup manner, "Oh, hello little boy, what are you doing in a high school? Shouldn't you be, like, in the sixth grade or something?"
Sam nervisly tapped Clover's shoulder, "Umm, Clover? I think that's the other guy were supposed to work with."
"HEY! WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE LOOKS LIKE HE SHOULD BE IN SIXTH GRADE!" Ed finally lost his temper at Clover's comment.
"Umm, hellooo, isn't that kinda apparent: you" Clover giggled.
Roy laughed nervously and put an arm around the shorter alchemist, efficiently putting him in a headlock, "This is Edward, and he will be accompanying me."
"LET ME GO, BASTARD!"
"Hi...Edward…" Sam waved cautiously at Ed, then straightened up and introduced her self and the others, "This is Alex and Clover. I'm Sam…"
"And who are you?"
"I am Roy Mustang," somewhere in Cleavland a woman swoons, and Roy let go of Edward, warily, "And this, as you know, is Edward Elric, we're alchemists sent from the furher King Bradley."
"So you guys have kings where you come from?" Alex's eyes lit up.
"Yes." Roy replied.
"He's a bastard, though…" Ed growled.
"With crowns and jewels and all that junk?" Alex continued.
"Edward…" Roy said in a warning tone and glared at him.
Ed ignored him and continued, "No, but he has a weird creepy eye patch and he's a homun- ow!" he stopped as Roy smacked the back of his head.
"Oohhhh...he doesn't have a crown?" Alex looked dismayed.
"Not that I've seen…" Ed rubbed the back of his head and glared ruefully at the flame alchemist.
"But how can he be king without a crown?"
Roy quickly changed the subject, "So where is this "Woop " place?"
It worked. "We, umm, we don't know…"
"That helps."
"We just get sucked up by a trash can or anything random really." Alex shrugged.
SUDDENLY! A hole in the courtyard opens up and SWALLOWS THEM WHOLE!
"Like this?" Ed yelped as they slipped through the long winding tunnels that would deposite them in Woop headquarters.
"YES!" the three girls shrieked.
When the tunnel ended it deposited them in a heap on top of one another, and since fate is a bitch today Ed ended up directly on top of Roy.
"Ouch, my head…" he groaned.
"Get off me, Fullmetal, you're heavy." Roy growled.
Ed turned red (yay rhymes!)"Well excuse me if my arm and leg are automail!"
"This is totally messing up my hair!" Clover whined.
Sam stood up and greeted a proper looking mad behind a desk, "Hi Jeff!"
"You still haven't gotten off me, Fullmetal." Edward heard a voice in his ear.
"Wha? Oh! Sorry!" Edward scrambled off of the colonel.
"Sooo, you are Jerry." Roy stood and straightened his jacket.
"Yes, and you must be Roy Mustang. But where is the other alchemist? I thought they were sending two of you?" he squinted and looked around.
"Ahem…" Ed had gotten off the floor.
"Either you have left him behind or he's simply so small that I cant see him." Jerry continued, trying to make a joke about Ed's height.
Edward's patientience had worn too thin and now he clapped his hand together and transmuted a gigantic cannon out of the floor and aimed it at Jerry "Say that again, I dare you." He snarled.
"Fullmetal, stop screwing around." Roy destroyed the cannon with a snap of his fingers.
"Oh my, well there was no need to let a cannon explode. Hello Mr. Elric." He laughed nervously, "Now today's mission will be in the Mediterranean. a criminal mastermind has kidnapped three spies of Australia and they need our help at retrieving them." He pressed a blinking button on his desk,"Your spy gear today includes: lock freezing lipsticks, the just stick enough gloves and the jet pack backpacks."
"You've got to be kidding me, I REFUSE to use such things, whatever I need, I can transmute!" Edward looked disgustedly at the lipsticks.
Roy was nicer than Edward in his refusal," I am going to have to agree with Edward for once."
Jerry shrugged, "If you insist. Goodbye."
Laura: AND SUDDENLY THE FLOOR DROPS AND THEY LAND IN AN AIRPLANE!
Ed looked at Mustang strangely, "You called me Edward."
"What?" Roy looked at him.
"You called me Edward back there..."
"…" they had been flying for awhile and now they were well over the island of the evil genius, so before Roy could find a plausible answer they were rudely dropped out of the airplane.
"HOLY CRAP!" Ed yelled.
"Well, this is... interesting.." if Roy had a nail file, I am certain that he would have been filing his nails.
Alex, Clover and Sam all squealed and Edward looked at Roy in disbelief, "Are you freakin' BLIND! We're FALLING towards the GROUND!"
Roy smirked, "Why yes, yes we are, good call Edward."
Laura: and then parachutes shoot out of the spies backpacks
Caitlin: Except for Ed and Roy, because they refused the girly back packs
Caitlin: Ed transmuted his jacket into a parachute though because he's cool like that
Laura: and Roy?
Caitlin: Roy on the other hand happens to land in bushes without breaking any thing
"Is everyone okay?" Sam called as they landed on the beach.
"Yeah, hold on, I'll go check on the colonel." Ed made his way over to the thick bush were the colonel landed.
Meanwhile Clover was brushing sand out of her hair and complaining, "If you call having sand in you hair as an 'ok' then no!"
A low moan came out of the bush, "ooowwww!"
Ed made his way towards the moan, "Oi, Mustang, you dead?"
Clover rushed over to aid Edward in his search for the missing Flame alchemist, hidden deep within the alchemist-eating-bush. "Arg!" Charlie Brown yelled…. (don't ask)
"Dude, where'd ya go?" Edward called.
"Over here…" a part of the bush moved slightly.
"Oohh, I'll help you!" Clover squealed.
"Damn, this bush is thicker than I thought…" Edward growled as his foot caught on a root. With a yelp he tripped onto Roy, as he looked up at him in surprise their lips met.
"Ummmmm…" Alex and Sam stared at them.
Roy stared at Edward, but then recorvered and said rather peeved "I can understand that I am irresistible, but I would like to get out of this bush at some point in time."
"Wait!" Clover shrieked," The little kid's...GAY?"
"I AM NOT!" Ed growled, now a brilliant shade of red, and when he went ot stand he was pulled back down by his hair, which was caught in one of the many buttons on Roy's jacket. Now thoroughly pissed he turned even redder and snarled," and I am NOT little!"
"Uh huh, SURE you're not." Clover shook her head and came out of the bush.
"Goddam you to hell, Roy! You and your goddam uniform with all those goddam buttons! My hair's stuck!" he yelled and he growled and yet his hair didn't come unstuck. Roy just laughed, and many profanities and curses later they finally came out of the bush Roy looked like nothing had happened and smiled at the girls.
"Sooo, what now?"
TO BE CONTINUED IN LATER CHAPTERS!