Yeah, yeah, I've been away forever. Well, I've been busy with poetry, comics, ideas in my head that need to be written and drawn out. It's not easy being so full of ideas and can't find enough ways to express them. I should write more fanfiction, and try to help myself out here, and keep you, my reader, happy. So, here it is! A NEW CHAPTER!

DISCLAIMER: I am not Jhonen Vasquez. Not even with my spiffy Jhonen-ey glasses on. I do not own anything except Monroe and my ideas. The ideas like to sing songs and roast weenie dogs over little campfires.

"YEEEAAAH! TODAY IS THE SUPER-DUPER-ANNUAL DOG SHOW! ARE YOU READY?" Screamed a crazy-man called the announcer. He was crazy! I mean, look at him! He was so over-excited he put his pants on backwards! And... OHMYGOSHISHEWEARINGPLAIDWITHSTRIPES? IT BURNS! AURGH! Well, dispite that guy's horrible craziness and bad clothing, the story shall go on.

"LOOKIT ALL THE CUTE DOGGIE-WOGGIES WE HAVE FOR THIS SHOW, FOLKS! AND CHECK OUT THAT GREEN KID WITH THE GREEN DOG! MAN IS THAT WEIRD! HUH! WHO'S READY FOR THE DOG SHOW TO BEGIN?" The announcer-guy screamed, spitting everywhere in his mighty excitement. Let's call him Danny. The crowd roared.

"DOG SHOWS ROCK!"

"ALRIGHTY! LET'S GET FUNKEEEEE!" Danny shrieked. "MAN AM I HAPPY!"

You heard Danny! Let's get funky! Ima gonna go get the records!

...or not.

I can keep writing.

So, the contestants are all in readiness, until...

"DIB!"

Zim pointed at a large-headed figure standing by the judges. "What are YOU doing here, HUMAN?"

Awkward silence.

"Eh, I mean, 'What are you doing here, human, because I am another human, eh... wondering why you are here!' Yes, yes... I AM NORMAL!"

The silence goes on. Danny scratches his nose. AND OH WHAT A SCRATCH IT WAS! Not really, but how many Dannys do you know that like to scratch their noses in a public fanfiction? Not too many, huh?

"I have a spleen, ya know."

Dib cleared his throat. "Zim is an alien! Really! Just look at his hideous green dog! LOOK AT IT! C'MON! Everybody, Zim's up to something! He's going to eat your organs or something HORRIBLE. JUST HORRIBLE!"

"Nonsense! Zim eats no disgusting human organs!"

I don't eat them either. I ate this one kid's brain and it was just... ugh... awful. I don't think this kid studied or anything. It was all mushed because of TV.

"It's hopeless, ZIM! I have a special weapon! Check it out! C'mere, Monroe!"

But Monroe was napping.

"That's just pathetic, Dib-Worm."

So, poor Dib has to wake up Monroe before the contest ends!

A lady is walking over to each dog and inspecting them.

"Hmm... the Chihuahua does have a nice coat. Let's see those teeth. Hmm... wonderful. Now how about the Lab? Yes, young man, try feeding your dog to enhance his beauty. And over here... a unique green coat. Now let's see those teeth..."

WHAM!

Gir ate her whole. I bet she didn't taste good. He didn't even use an oven.

"Splendid! And what a strange stomach! It's unlike anything I've ever seen! Extra points for the green dog!"

Gir spit her out and wagged his tail, while giving a salute to his master. Zim smiled to himself. "Yes... the humans will see the amazing NORMALNESS of Zim and his dirty-dog-monster!"

"NEEEEXT IT'S OUR DOGGIE TALENT SHOW! IT'S AN IMPORTANT PART OF THE COMPETITION! WHO'S READY FOR SOME SUPER-NEAT DOGGIE TRICKS!"

The crowd burst into roaring and applause. It was noisey. I can bearly write now. CURSE YOU NOISE!

"Super-neat doggie tricks ROCK!"

An old woman came out with her dog, Nacho. "Alright, Nacho, do your thing!"

Nacho did a happy little bark.

Then he ate a member of the audience.

Next it was the poodle's turn. He read a poem he wrote in doggie language. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL! A FINE WORK IN LITERATURE! IT BROUGHT TEARS TO MY EYES AND JOY TO MY HEART!

Finally, Zim and Gir walked into the spotlight. "This is it, Gir. Show these pig-smellies what you're made of!"

Gir saluted to his green master, and began disecting himself.

"LOOKIT THAT, FOLKS! THE GREEN DOG SHOWS INTELLIGENCE BEYOND ANY DOG! TRUELY HE'S TAKING THE TROPHY HOME! WHOPEEEEE!"

"That's because he's a robot! A robot slave of an alien. AN ALIEN!"

No one listened to Dib. All because he was ugly. No, wait... no... yeah, he was ugly.

"HEY!"

It's true. You poor, sad, ugly thing, you.

That's it for now! Please review! Until next time, DarkTheda.