Seeds of Seduction
Chapter 23: It's Not Love
Hermione sighed as she pulled on her nightie very slowly in Draco's bedroom. She was attempting to postpone her departure as long as humanely possible. Tears came to her eyes again as she inhaled and the smell of pancakes filled her nostrils. Blinking back tears, turned and picked up her bag. Her eyes fell on a undershirt and sweats of Draco's. Her breath choking in her throat, she grasped them and shoved them into her bag. Zipping the bag shut, she ran into the kitchen.
Draco lurched forward as he felt a pair of soft arms wrap around his waist. He leaned back as he inhaled the familiar scent of jasmine. Hermione sighed and kissed his ear rubbing her hand against his hard stomach.
"Want breakfast, you must be hungry after last night?" asked Draco cheekily.
"Sure," responded Hermione weakly trying to hold back her tears. Last night was the last time she would ever hold him in his bed.
"I made them properly this time," said Draco cheerful and oblivious to Hermione's quivering chin.
Turning around, she blinked rapidly trying to force back the flood of tears that was forming.
"That's great," she said feigning cheerfulness after she steadied her nerves.
"Want some orange juice?" asked Draco reaching into the cupboard.
Hermione nodded mutely. She was afraid that the lump in her throat rising in her throat would make her cry. She knew that if she said anything more, she would break down right then and there. The hated plan would be ruined and Harry, Ginny, and Ron would be mad at her. Forcing herself to smile, Hermione seated herself and picked up her fork. Just as she poked her fork into the pancakes, a figure appeared in the doorway.
"Severus," said Draco standing up. "Please sit down."
"Draco," said Severus his eyes flickering between Hermione and Draco, "I have something that I need to tell you. Something very private."
"Oh excuse me," said Hermione standing up, "Draco, I'll be going."
"Give me a second," said Draco turning away, "Make yourself comfortable."
Hermione could feel her heart breaking as she grasped her bag and walked into the immaculate foyer.
"Goodbye Draco," said Hermione turning around. Her body shook with suppressed sobs. It couldn't be happening. It was the moment. Holding his close, she savored the feel of her arms around him and the muscular hands grasping her waist. She shook as his left hand rubbed her head the way he always did before she would leave. Images flashed through her head as she held him. Their first meeting, the first time she made love to him, their first date, the meeting at the library.
Hermione didn't know how long they stood there. Hermione turned her head so she could inconspicuously wipe her tears on his shirt. Minutes passed and by this time her cheeks had dried. Closing her eyes, Hermione gripped herself and drew back. Draco smiled and kissed her cheeks. Hermione closed her eyes and savored the touch of his fingers on her face. Draco turned away but Hermione yanked her back roughly and engaged him in a searing kiss. Just as they always did, fireworks exploded through her body.
"Goodbye," whispered Hermione as she drew back, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.
As the tears started to spill over, she opened the door and shut it behind her. Heaving her bag on her shoulder, she began to run the tears falling down her cheek and onto the bed of snow where they crackled and disappeared.
Draco was staring after Hermione with a confused expression on his face. What was wrong with Hermione? She was acting like this was their last meeting. Shaking his head, Draco turned around and sloped into the kitchen where Severus was sitting in Hermione's seat, his fingers tapping the table impatiently.
"Yes Severus?" asked Draco sitting down.
"I have something very important to tell you," started Severus his black eyes glittering seriously.
. & .
Hermione lay on her bed in Grimmauld Place completely exhausted. She was dressed in a gray pair of loose comfy sweatpants and a light blue hooded sweater. It was snowing outside and the sky was covered in a blanket of thick gray clouds. Hermione's room was dark except for a green and black candle burning in the corner. It was a candle Draco had given her.
A single tear slid down her cheek. Sniffling Hermione wiped it away. How much could she cry? She thought she had exhausted her supply. She had apparated and run straight to her room. Locking the door, she had changed into her current outfit and then collapsed on her bed and cried. She ignored Harry, Ginny, and Ron's knocks on the door. She blocked out Mrs. Weasley's incessant concerned voice that wafted through the door.
There was a knock on her door. Sighing, Hermione heaved herself from her bed and hauled herself to the door. Peeping through the hole, she saw Severus who was looking rather worried. Sighing, she reluctantly opened the door.
"Hermione," said Severus stepping in and shutting the door behind him. "Please do what you were doing."
Hermione shrugged and flopped on the bed.
"Please take a seat," said Hermione dryly gesturing to the chair in front of her desk.
"Thank you," said Severus seating himself.
Silence fell the two of them. Hermione brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes and ran a cold hand over her flushed and red cheeks.
"You told him didn't you?" said Severus more than ask breaking the silence.
"Told him what?" asked Hermione flatly.
"Told him where the last meeting was," prodded Severus.
Hermione nodded sitting up. She grabbed her pillow and held it. She rested her chin pushing back forming tears.
"Hard wasn't it?" asked Severus softly.
"Very," replied Hermione softly.
"WHY," burst out Hermione, "WHY SEVERUS! WHY IS SO HARD FOR ME TO SEE HIM GO?"
Severus who started at her sudden outburst walked over to Hermione.
"You know Hermione, when Dumbledore first told me he was embarking on this mission, I knew that he was going to enlist you. I pleaded and argued with Dumbledore for so many months trying to change his decision. But he had his heart set on you. He thought that the hatred between you and Draco was so strong that nothing could break it."
Hermione swallowed and looked at her pillow.
"You can't forget about him Hermione because you love him."
Hermione stood up sharply from her bed.
"I do not love Draco," she said sharply turning towards her mirror.
"Hermione," started Severus.
"Please," said Hermione harshly turning around, "I love Ron. I have and I always will. Ron was meant for me."
"Then why is it so hard for you to forget about him?" asked Severus.
"Because Voldemort will hurt him for killing his fellow Death Eater," responded Hermione quickly.
"How did you know about that," inquired Severus.
"I heard Ginny talking to Harry about it," said Hermione.
"That's why I came to his house today," said Severus. "I needed to convince him to stay with the Death Eaters."
"What," said Hermione turning around his hazel eyes flashing with anger," Why? Do you want him to stay with Voldemort?"
"Hermione," sighed Severus heavily, "I had too. We need information from him. Draco won't be accepted into the Order. He's done enough to earn the distrust of Harry. He killed Remus; he mutilated Cho Chang in front of Harry; he tortured and killed Neville. Harry would never allow him in the Order; the only thing Voldemort would have done would have been to kill him."
"Being a Death Eater is worse than being dead," said Hermione softly turning away but not arguing.
"I'm sorry Hermione that you were caught in this," said Severus truthfully as he stood up, "Would it be better if I explained everything to your friends?"
"I can explain it myself thank you," said Hermione curtly, "I do not love Draco Malfoy."
Severus took a deep breath and turned and walked away towards the door. Before he left, he turned around and whispered "Denial is the first step of realizing your true feelings."
. & .
It was now past midnight. Hermione lay morosely on her dark blue bedspread staring at the crackling fireplace. Her ears heard a knock on her door.
"Come in," said Hermione dully not having the energy to feign that she wasn't there.
The door slowly opened and Harry, Ron, and Ginny came in. Hermione quickly sat up thanking that she was crying at that moment in time. Hermione swung her legs over the bed and hugged Ginny who sat next to her. She smiled at Ron but to her surprise didn't feel the warm feeling that she usually experienced when she was around Ron. He was dressed in only a pair of low-rise jeans but when he sat next to her, she couldn't feel goose bumps rising up her arms or her heart beating fast as it used to do 2 months ago. What was going on?
"Did you see Malfoy yet?" demanded Ron.
"I did," said Hermione dully.
"And?" said Ron drawing out the word.
"I told him to meet us at the Ministry next week on January 22nd," said Hermione morosely.
"Awesome," said Harry his face lighting up into a megawatt smile. He stood up.
"Hermione, you've been amazing in this mission," said Harry sincerely, "You don't know how much easier it'll be on our members to fight the Death Eaters…especially on me. Thank you."
Hermione nodded silently and stood up. Faking a smile, she gave Harry a big hug before he playfully picked Ginny up and carried her out the room. Hermione laughed and sat next to Ron who had a trace of a smile on his face.
"Hermione," said Ron standing up and burying his hands in his pockets. "Thanks. For everything during this mission. For seeking revenge for me when you found Lavender had hurt me. Just for thinking that I'm really special. That means a lot to me."
"You're welcome Ron. What are friends for?" asked Hermione smiling a little.
"Are you doing anything this weekend? If you weren't maybe we could go out for dinner," said Ron casually but his ears were turning red.
He had begun to observe Hermione closely after he had left Lavender. He wasn't sure if he actually loved Hermione but he was definitely becoming more attracted to her as the days passed by.
Hermione studied his face. She stood rooted to the spot silently for a while just staring at his face. She was waiting for it to happen. She was waiting to feel her heart leap with joy. She was waiting for the feeling of excitement to fill her body. She was waiting for the exhilaration to fill her senses.
But it didn't come.
"I would like to Ron," said Hermione smiling forcefully.
"Great," said Ron beaming.
He held out his arms and Hermione found herself folded into a pair of muscular arms that reminded her of Draco. Except like usual nothing was happening. Furrowing her eyebrows, she waited for the tingles to shoot down her spine. She waited with bated breath for sparks to fly down her skin. She waited for the goose bumps to appear when his hands touched her bare skin. No. Nothing. Zilch. Nada. Rien.
It couldn't be happening. It slowly dawned on Hermione that there was only one explanation.
She didn't love Ron.
A/N: Hey! Thanks so much for the reviews! They are all so beautiful and inspire me! Because it's Thanksgiving break, I probably will be able to post one other chapter after this but I want it to be perfect because the next chapter is the final meeting and a rather suspenseful ending! But keep the reviews coming; they make me want to update! Like before, more reviews the faster you'll get the next chapter! It's already written! It's the climax between the 2!Please Review! She's realized that she does not love Ron. It's a start!
Next chapter: she realizes that she's falling in love with Draco, ominous feeling about the future, the final meeting of Draco and Hermione