Quiver
Hey! I'm Kady-sensei and I'm re-writing "Quiver" so that it's an actual story! Yay! Now it won't get torn down! Yay! And it's about Sasuke! ...Not yay! I'm starting to dislike him more and more every day...But! He's still hot! Although...I do love to torture him...Eheheheh
Title: "Quiver"
Author: Rolls eyes and sighs Quess. (Jeopardy theme starts playing.)
Rating: T
Summary: Sasuke tries to find his theme song. Need I say more?
Disclaimer:
Sasuke: I never wrote or sang "Quiver". Get it straight, b'y.
Kady-sensei: Woah! Sasuke, you're absorbing my lingo! And you're morphing into a Newfie!
Sasuke??
Kady: You said "b'y".
Sasuke??
Kady: "B'y" is the Newfie pronounciation for "boy".
Sasuke??
Kady: You're hopeless. Say "Three-thousand three hundred and thirty-three and a third on Thursday with the lenth of a kettle, yes boy"
Sasuke: T'ree-t'ousaud t'ree hundred and t'irty-t'ree and a t'ird on T'ursday with the lent' of a kittle, yes b'y.
Kady: See?
Sasuke: How is that your lingo? You said it without the accent.
Kady: sigh You doubt me, Sasuke-hottie. I tried soooo hard to say it normally, I'm very suprised in meself, b'y.
Sasuke: You're faking it.
Kady: Nah, why'd I go and do that now, b'y?
Sasuke: Because you wanna annoy me?
Kady: Wrong! Ya gotta catch up on your acting lessons, me trout.
Sasuke??
Kady: Nevermind, b'y.
Sasuke: Yeah...Anyways, Kady-sensei doesn't own me, that's Masashi Kishimoto, and Tyler Connolly of Theory of a Deadman owns and wrote the lyrics to "Quiver". Awesome song, by the way.
XxQuiverxX
(Sasuke's POV)
I'm mad right now. This is so unfair! Naruto has a theme song and I don't! I thought I was always better than him! How come he gets a theme song and I don't! God! My story is sooo much sadder and more agnsty than his! I mean, Itachi killed my entire family! He may never have had parents, but when you do, you get attached to them, so it's bad if they go away! Then, you're sooo lonely! I'm very lonely. Hey! I know! I'll find my own theme song! Then, I'll whine and whine and whine never-ending-ly until my theme gets on the show! Oh, yeah. Go Sasuke! Uh-huh! It's your birthday, go Sasuke! Okay...That was awkward...I'm morphing into 50 Cent. Scary. Anyhow, I turned on the radio and listened to a random station. The lyrics seemed seemily agnsty. Alone...
"I
walk a lonely road
(A/N: Hey, couldn't resist!)
''The
only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But
it's home to me and I walk alone
I
walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where
the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone
I
walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...
My
shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the
only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will
find me
'Til then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah,
Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah
I'm walking down the line
That
divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge
and where I walk alone
Read between the lines
What's fucked
up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm
still alive and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I
walk alone
I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks
beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's
beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til
then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah,
Ah-ah
I walk alone
I walk a...
I walk this empty
street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city
sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...
My shadow's the
only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing
that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find
me
'Til then I walk alone...''
Hmm...This one seems okay. But...not agnsty enough...It was a pretty good song, too. But, must check out other possibilities. I tuned the radio to a different station.
"Ssss-Aaaa-Ffff-Eeee-Tttt-Yyyy
Safety-Dance!
Ah
we can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind
Cause
your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're are
no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to, A place
where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of
this world
Leave the real one far behind,
and we can dance
We
can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind
Cause
your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're are
no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to a place where
they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this
world
Leave the real one far behind
and we can
dance.
Dansez!
Ah we can go when we want to the night
is young and so am I
And we can dress real neat from our hats to
our feet
and surprise 'em with the victory cry
I Say we can
act if want to if we don't nobody will
And you can act real rude
and totally removed
And i can act like an imbecile
I say we can
dance, we can dance everything out control
We can dance, we can
dance we're doing it wall to wall
We can dance, we can dance
everybody look at your hands
We can dance, we can dance everybody
takin' the chance
Safety dance
Oh well the safety dance
Ah
yes the safety dance
Ssss-Aaaa-Ffff-Eeee-Tttt-Yyyy
Safety-Dance
We
can dance if we want to, we've got all your life and mine
As long
as we abuse it, never gonna lose it
Everything'll work out right
I
say, we can dance if we want to we can leave your friends
behind
Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well
they're are no friends of mine
I say we can dance, we can dance
everything out control
We can dance, we can dance we're doing it
wall to wall
We can dance, we can dance everybody look at your
hands
We can dance, we can dance everybody's takin' the chance"
Sasuke almost cried. He heard an odd tapping, before, with horror, looking down at his foot, which was tapping to the beat.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He screamed. "IGNORE THE BEAT!" But, alas, t'was impossible, and Sasuke soon found himself breakin' it down ol' school. And to make matters worse, he grabbed his cordless radio, brought it outside, and ended up dancing in the street. As people walked by, they gave him quizzical looks and kept on walking. However when Sakura, Ino, and the Sasuke fan club approached, things got bloody.
"Omigod! Sasuke-kun is dancing!" Sakura exclaimed.
"I WANNA SEE!" Ino exclaimed, punching down a few front-row Sasuke fangirls. She soon found herself drooling, panting, blushing, and battling a massive nosebleed. Sakura was having the same symptoms, but that was before Sasuke began pulling a move that looked like he seemed to be humping a invisible chair. It was then, that the horde of fangirls passed out from massive blood loss due to nosebleeds.
As the song ended, Sasuke began walking over the sea of blood-covered bodies. Man, Sasuke was sure on the road to beating Itachi! This bloodshed would almost put Itachi's very Uchiha massacre to shame! And Itachi would hide in a corner. And cry. And anounce that Sasuke was superior! And live the rest of him days as Sasuke's personal servant, living on stale sardines and toast, until Itachi finally died of scurvy. Haha! What a beautiful day that would be!
But little did Sasuke know...Gaara was hiding behind a tree! And he had smelled blood. Bad news for Sasuke. Good news for me. . Anyhow, Gaara jumped out from behind the tree the moment Sasuke turned his back. Gaara desert-coffined Sasuke's ass, and Sasuke died, spraying a rain of blood over the nearby scenery. But the story doesn't end here!
The cat was curious. What was this body doing laying here, covered in birds? The cat breathed in Sasuke mouth, before Sasuke woke up, coughing. Something in his mouth tasted bad... He looked up, seeing a cat perched on his stomach. Sasuke choked. That bastard cat had horked in his mouth! Sasuke grabbed the cat, it let out a hiss, before clawing the crap outta Sasuke. Eventually, Sasuke managed to kill the cat but only after he threw it in a firepit.
Sasuke went to sleep that night, feeling weird. The next morning he woke up, and some random director dude was dragging him from his bed. The dude forced Sasuke into a tight, leather suit and kitty leather hat.
"Take one!" The director called, and Sasuke stood in front of the now-present camera.
"Where am I?" Sasuke asked.
"That's not the line!" The director called, throwing his megaphone, which narrowly missed Sasuke's head. "And you're on the set for "Catwoman", you idiot!"
"But...I'm not catwoman...Isn't that Halle Barry?"(Sp?)
"Halle didn't have the right...Flaire to be catwoman." The director explained.
"Yeah..Bye!" Sasuke exclaimed, running off the set as fast as he could. On his way back to his house, he was chased by a group of fangirls, blood still seeping from their nostrils. They ripped off his leather suit, so he ran away in boxers and a leather kitty hat. Eventually, he outran them, and escaped to his house, only to hear his one and only theme song play on the radio.
"You'd leave me at the side of the road to die.
What doen't kill you makes you stronger.
You don't need me anymore to listen to your lies.
I won't be no fool for you any longer.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
It's me, myself, and I
Quiver at the thought of you. But but but
Me, myself, and I
Quiver at the thought of being alone.
What makes me sick. What makes me quiver
It's the thought of being alone.
Like a needle in a haystack with nowhere to hide.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Like a wing-clipped eagle who's waiting to fly.
No, I won't be trapped in you any longer.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
It's me, myself, and I
Quiver at the thought of you. But but but
Me, myself, and I
Quiver at the thought of being alone.
What makes me sick. What makes me quiver
It's the thought of being alone.
It's me, myself, and I
Quiver at the thought of you. But but but
Me, myself, and I
Quiver at the thought of being alone.
What makes me sick. What makes me quiver
It's the thought of being alone.
What makes me sick. What makes me quiver."
This song was PERFECT! It was almost written for him! He ran, ran, ran, ran, ran, ran , ran, ran, ran, ran, ran...And then died from exhaustion, but not after he impregenated someone with three children!
Sakura: Was it me!
Ino: IT WAS ME, FOREHEAD-GIRL!
Kady: Neither.
Ino/Sakura: What...? It WAS HER, WASN'T IT! ((Attacks random female.))
Kady: Nope. It wasn't a chick.
Everyone: O.o What...?
Naruto: How's that possible?
Kady: Well, at Scouts, my friends and I made up a song called "It go boom.", and whenever I say the phrase "It go boom.", everyone has to repeat a chant.
Everyone: How does it go?
Sasuke's Soul: And how does that relate to a guy giving birth to a kid?
Kady: I say "It go boom", and everyone in the group answers "I need a body, a human body! Can a man get pregnant? Yay God! MJ says "Great googaly moogaly"! On my honour, to Billie Joe, and for those about to rock, we salute you. It's crazy good! Believe it!"
Everyone: WTF?
Kady: Its a whole bunch of quotes I said. "It go boom" happened cause we were gonna throw a doll in the firepit, and we thought it would go boom, then "I need a body, a human body!" Is from Inu Yasha, credit goes to the Noh mask. "Can a man get pregnant?" was just random, "Yay God!" Is from whever we says grace, we say "Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub! Yay God!" Which I think is from Family Guy...Umm...The MJ thing was random, the Billie Joe thing is from when one of the kids in my scout group, Darren, started to say the scout promise, which starts with "On my honour," so we edited it. The "crazy good" thing is from an Eggo waffle commercial. Annnnd "Believe it!" is Naruto's dub catchphrase. He says it 50-million times every episode.
Naruto: Wow. Have I ever told you how weird you are, Kady-sensei?
Kady: Only a few times. Wanna know something weirder?
Naruto: What could possibly be weirder than your 'It go boom." thing?
Kady: The fact that you're the guy bearing Sasuke's children.
Naruto: 0.o
The End
Hey! I finally finished! I started writing this back in the uchihachik era, and I never knew how to approach it.
See y'all on the flip side.
Sensei out
