Forever Unloved?

Chapter 1 Never Again

As I sat on my queen-sized bed, I looked out the window next to me. The trees that were surrounding the small park blew furiously, the wind banged against my window, I could see the rain blowing in many different directions. As a bolt of lighting appeared for the 5th time making a loud thunderous sound to the ground below I heard my door opened from behind me.

"Hey Kobe". My first friend Taylor said as she sat down on the bed beside me.

"Hi girl". My second friend Dominic said as she gave me a hug which I did not return and sat down next to taylor, I just kept quiet.

"Kobe just forget about him, he wasn't worth shit". Taylor said. She was referring to my ex-boyfriend Lloyd who I found fucking some bitch in "our" bed no more than 24 hours ago. It wasn't that I was mad, I was just, I don't know.

My name is Kobe Chase, known to my two friends as KC. I'm 23 and a high school dropout, but smart as hell. I'm living with my girls Tay and Dommy at her house. The thing with lloyd is that I didn't really have a reaction when I found him sleeping with that bitch, I just walked out and here I am, looking out the window wondering how could I do it to myself again. See since I was 16 I've always had a boyfriend, I've dated them all; The nice guy, the dork, the rich kid, the bad boy, the soon to be successful man, the broke guy, I've been with every type of guy known to man. If there was a list for every type of guy out there, for me it would be a check by each one, I don't know why I do this to myself, I heard it all before "I love you", "I care for you", all that bullshit and I believe it. But not anymore, lloyd was the last straw.

"I just can't believe I did it again". I finally said after being silent and held in my room since yesterday.

"KC, I know it's hard, but you shouldn't be cooped up in this house". Dommy said.

"I don't think there's even a guy out there for me". I said.

"There's a guy out there for everybody, you just gotta go through all the bad ones to find the right one". Dommy said.

"I've been through them all". I said almost yelling. "I've been through every guy there is and none of them are for me".

"That's not true". Taylor said. "You'll find happiness one day".

"I've never been happy..ever. My life has been pure hell and the guys make it worse, maybe I'm just meant to be by myself and miserable". I said as I got under my covers and turned my back to my friends, I heard them let out a sigh and leave my room.

My life has always been horrible. When I was younger my mom would always have to go to work every Wednesday so she would drop me off at my dad's house, that's where it all began, my nightmares. Courtesy of my dad I've been beaten over 300 times, drowned, drugged, I've been thrown through 2 of his windows, burned, shot twice, one time he beaten me so hard I was in a coma for a month, I have a huge scar from when my dad cut me across the throat, I've been stabbed 6 times in my legs and arms, I've been electrocuted once and been hit upside the head with a beer bottle. In the past 15 years that I've been with him I've had 10 broken arms, 8 broken legs, my wrist has been swollen multiple times, I've had over 100 black eyes and bruises, my neck got broken when he threw me from one of the windows and he's ran me over on purpose 20 times. Believe me he's done worse things, I know it's amazing I'm still alive, sometimes I think through all that abuse I was supposed to die, but my grandma always told me "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". My grandma was the only one who really gave a damn about me, my mom was a crack addict and my dad was an alcoholic, I didn't have any brothers or sisters and the rest of my family was either dead or murdered. So when my grandma died I felt like I was alone, that's when I met dominic and taylor.

As I laid in my bed about to go to sleep, I heard a small whimper from below me. I smiled to myself knowing where that came from. I looked down at a tan pit bull puppy who had his head tilted looking directly at me.

"Come on Clyde come sleep with me". I said, within a matter of seconds he had got himself comfortable and stretched out right next to me, I rubbed his stomach a little and he licked my face. "It's over clyde I'm not gonna let another man manipulate me anymore, I'm not gonna get hurt again". I said as Clyde let out a bark.

"I'm serious, I'm done with men, there's no one out there who really cares for me". I said to myself. "Or who loves me". My eyes began to get heavier, the wind and the rain slowly started to die down as I finally feel asleep.

Please tell me what you think of it, should I continue or what? I'll be waiting to hear.