Project Restoration Chapter 6: We're gonna go down fightin'

Author's Note: So very sorry on the delay for this chapter, I had every intention of writing and posting it last night, but well my eyelids got heavy and rewrote the plan. But I also wanted to get the Jackie/Hyde stuff right, which I'm not sure I accomplished, but that can be up to you all. Thanks for reading and reviewing, I value your feedback more than I can express. This chapter the pieces are going to be centered on the J/H confrontation, so I apologize if that bothers anyone. But I figure what comes of their "talk" will impact everyone, so why have Donna chatting about butterflies or something when World War III is going down in the kitchen? At any rate, please keep reviewing, and I hope you enjoy. I'll stop rambling now.

Disclaimer: otNa ineMa…everything is better in pig latin.

HEROES:

As the new kid in a foreign country, Fez had found himself latching on to the group in awe of their American attitudes and their distinct personalities. To a shy kid, who knew so little about this new place, Kelso, Eric, and Hyde had seemed to be everything he wished he was, and it wouldn't be too big of a stretch to say he looked at them as heroes.

He wanted to emulate the ease with which they interacted, never afraid to say out loud whatever they were thinking. He idolized Kelso and the strange finesse he seemed to have when talking to girls. It went beyond being good looking, Kelso had this confidence that every girl would accept his advances. And he was usually proven correct.

Eric had always wowed Fez with his nice guy charm. Everyone liked Eric. Except for Red and Laurie, of course. It was hard not to. He smiled easily, wasn't afraid to feel, and he could make anyone laugh. And well, what Eric shared with Donna, Fez wanted that too.

And there had always been something so irrefutably cool about Steven Hyde that Fez had prayed some of it would rub off on him simply by association. Hyde didn't take shit from anybody. He was honest, no matter the outcome. He lived on his own terms. And he was rebellious, never doing anything just because he was told to. Yet somehow, Fez noticed, he almost always seemed to do the right thing. Even if he was cursing underneath his breath as he did it. What wasn't heroic about that?

But Fez knew not even heroes were perfect. And after holding Jackie earlier, feeling the loneliness and despair just radiate off her fragile, beautiful body, he knew here was the one case Hyde had done everything wrong.

So he was nervous as he stood in the doorway of the kitchen, watching Hyde watch the clock. He wasn't sure if the small pyramid of beer cans on the table in front of his friend would prove to help or hinder his mission. But he had to do it now, regardless.

He walked into the kitchen and sat across from those shaded eyes. Hyde seemed surprised to see him, so Fez noted he had at least enough alcohol in him to alleviate the stoicism of Zen. Perfect.

He waited as Hyde retrieved 2 beers from the fridge. Once he had sat back down, settled in his chair, and they'd each taken a long gulp as a toast, Fez took a deep breath and showed what he came for.

"Hyde, She's a mess."

He was thankful when Hyde didn't ask who, and so he continued without a response.

"She cries a lot. She's not sleeping. She barely eats, and well, the light is missing from her eyes."

Hyde looked at his beer intently, but Fez thought he saw shame flicker across his features.

"I'm not sure how you feel about her anymore, though we all have our suspicions. But I think you know as well as I do, you've got the best shot at fixing this." Fez hoped Hyde could sense his seriousness. "I have always trusted you to do the right thing."

He watched as Hyde's head snapped up, and his expression was surprised. Fez supposed it wasn't something Hyde heard often. But as Fez stood up, finishing his beer and placing it on top the pyramid, his expression grew colder.

"But if you hurt her more, I assure you it won't be pretty." And with that Fez walked out of the room.

Hero or not, for the sake of Jackie, Fez was prepared to kick his ass.

SELF-PRESERVATION:

It was almost completely dark, and her stomach was sore with hunger, by the time Jackie returned from her walk. She hoped some of Donna's sandwiches were left, but with 3 boys, and specifically Fez, around it wasn't safe to count on anything not being eaten.

She also hoped she'd been imagining the look on Steven's face. Deep down she knew she hadn't.

She opened the door tentatively, and walked in to the living room to unleash a sigh of relief. Fez, Michael, and Donna were all sitting on the couch, in the dark, watching TV. Donna smiled at her, Fez scooted down to give her room to join them, and Michael asked gently if she'd had a nice walk. She was genuinely happy for an instant to see them there, no tension hanging over their heads. But as she opened her mouth to respond, her happiness was sucked out of her, leaving her skin cold and her nerves raw.

A gruff, slurred request had come from the kitchen. "Jackie, can I talk to you?"

She closed her eyes and willed herself to breathe normally before looking to see his silhouette against the soft kitchen light. He looked taller somehow. And her stomach's ache was no longer due to hunger.

For a brief moment she thought about running out the door. Since he'd first failed to give her a reason to stay in Point Place she'd been perfecting her survival skills. Since Sam had shown up she'd been committed to self-preservation. And she felt very certain, in this moment, if she followed the man she loved into that kitchen her total destruction would be the outcome.

But for some reason she felt she owed it to them. To her three friends on the couch, waiting in apparent anticipation for her reply. If they were all struggling to save this group, to reconnect to each other, then she and Hyde needed to come to some sort of peace.

So she silently said screw it to self-preservation, nodded her head slightly, and walked towards the light, preparing for her doom.

PASSION:

In the honesty brought out by beer number 8, what he missed most about her was the passion. Not just the physical and sexual passion, though he'd always been a fan of Jackie's, uh, healthy appetite. But more importantly the passion that just made her 95 pounds turn into a tireless force. The passion with which she fought, the passion with which she dreamed.

And he missed the passion she could bring out in him. Because he was Steven Hyde, and no one else had ever done that.

And while he hated that she was so exhausted, and he was worried that she seemed to get smaller and smaller with every day, the thing that upset him most was the loss of that light Fez had been talking about. That light was her passion.

So now, body temperature elevated, fluid and sharp speech difficult, he leaned back against the sink, arms folded across his chest, and watched her sit down, hoping with all his heart that would be what he could give her tonight.

He noticed the thin line of her mouth and the solid setting of her jaw, and cringed as he realized he taught her that. Her hollow eyes were his Zen lessons at work, and he hated himself for that. He'd always advertised the satisfaction of not letting people get to you, but he had somehow forgot to warn her that not-feeling was a lonely way to live.

"So…" she prodded, he knew she wanted to get this over with.

He waited a beat, summoned his confidence, and then started to speak.

"I don't love her."

She just blinked at him.

"Sam. I don't love her." Some where about beer 5 he had decided this straight forward approach was best. Seeing her expression unchanged, he now wasn't so sure.

"Tell me something I don't know."

"I still love you."

The Zen faltered, and he was pretty sure her face said she hadn't known that. And he was amazed at himself that he had gotten it out, apparently the L-word came more freely the more you drank.

"That's interesting."

The damn Zen was back.

"Jackie, I think we need to talk about it. All of it. Why we did the things we did, where we went wrong. Because I love you, and if there is anyway we can try again I need to know that now."

He hit the switch, he saw the mask crumble and the light shine bright. But then he noticed she was trembling, and her eyebrow arched with fury. Well, he'd got her passion.

"Where we went wrong? Why we did things? Steven Hyde you self-righteous bastard! There is no we, it's all you! You put me last, you let me go, you mistrusted and assumed, you married some other girl when you couldn't be bothered to even suggest you would be willing to marry me! All that, all you, that's where things went wrong! And now you have the nerve to tell me you love me, why can you only say it when you've screwed up, Steven? Well it's too little too late. I can't let you back in, I can't just forget and let this all go away. I'm broken here, okay, in to tiny pieces that I don't think can even fit back together. How stupid would I be to come back for more? You aren't going to change, Steven. I gave you my heart, told you with every ounce of sincerity inside me that I loved you. I let you know I was willing to give up everything, everything, to be with you. And yet you couldn't believe that, you took one look at a situation and assumed the worst. What would ever be enough, Steven, to convince you I meant it, that I was yours? If we ever did get married, would you believe me then? Or would one day, after 10 years and 3 kids, would you come home to see our friend Michael was over for a visit and assume that up until you walked in we'd been caught in a sweaty, lusty affair? And if so what would you do, cause you know cheating on me or marrying someone else wouldn't be enough, you'd have to top yourself? Would you screw a woman until she got knocked up? Would you start a whole new family just to make me pay for a sin I didn't commit? Tell me, Steven, what did you expect talking about this now to do, to prove, to fix? Because I didn't know you were stupid, Steven, and you should have known 'I love you' wouldn't be enough for me now when it had never been enough for you."

Hyde was going to bust. He knew he should just let her calm down, he knew "I'm sorry" was his best bet. But he was proud, and he was drunk, and he had a tendency to lose his temper, so his passion exploded and despite his heart screaming, "No, No, No!" he was yelling right back at her.

STORMS:

Donna wasn't the kind of girl to be scared of much. She was independent and smart and could take care of herself. But she'd always had a tiny, and admittedly irrational, fear of storms. She generally thought it was because storms were unpredictable, and she believed in knowing your opponent. It made her uneasy that no matter how strong you were, no matter how prepared, lightening could strike in an instant, leaving the noblest warrior as dust.

Eric was really the only one who knew she felt this way. And he'd never teased her about it. Whenever it was supposed to storm in the night, Eric would sneak over to hold her in her sleep she wouldn't be as afraid. It had stormed twice in Point Place since he'd been gone, and she hadn't been able to sleep either night without his arms around her.

And in this moment she really missed Eric as it was storming right now, literally and metaphorically.

Naturally as soon as Jackie and Hyde had went into the kitchen, she'd motioned for the boys to leave the room. They went into Kelso's bedroom, and she was thankful he had a small TV in there as well. But of course the TV was never turned on as Fez immediately positioned himself at the door, listening closely to hear what was being said. Not that he had to listen too hard once the yelling had started.

Only a few minutes later, Kelso too was crouched at the door, not the Donna could really blame him since his name sure was getting brought up a lot.

Finally, after the screams and shouts had been going on for a half hour without a break Donna lowered herself towards the ground beside them and listened intently to what was being said.

Then the rain had started outside, beating loudly against Kelso's window. Strangely, as if they knew the other three were listening, Jackie and Hyde's volume increased so the words could still be made out. And as thunder began to rumble loudly, and lightening flashed, illuminating the dark room, it only seemed to magnify the drama that was unfolding.

Donna heard as Hyde accused Jackie of stringing him and Kelso along, saying that did nothing if not plant seeds of mistrust.

She heard Jackie counter that if Hyde had had the emotional maturity to let her know where she stood maybe she would have been a little surer a little faster.

Donna cringed as Jackie brought up the nurse.

She trembled as Hyde yelled about forgiveness with more anger and emotion than she'd ever heard from him before.

And she almost began to cry at the hurt in Jackie's voice as she asked why he didn't divorce Sam right away.

And her heart broke for her best friend when Steven Hyde had no answer.

She heard Jackie yell, "Steven, don't you dare touch me."

She heard the crack of a slap across Hyde's face

She heard sobs, and a door slam.

And she wasn't nearly as afraid of the storm outside as she was of the one that had just ended in the kitchen.