Disclaimer: I own it all! All of it I say! Wakes up from dream. That's a relief! I own nothing, zip, zilch, nadda!
Summary- Lord of the Rings GONE CRAZY! This is a humor filled story about the Lord of the Rings..., all the characters are out of character except for Legolas..., and a narrarator keeps running around and ruining the plot-line! Add a couple of fan girls..., and insane she-elf who loves Legolas..., and an elven maiden that Legolas loves..., but she has to find Legolas first..., ARGGHH!
A/n- Hey guys! Guess what... I'm BAACK! LOL! I finally am going to update! YAY FOR ME! Hope ya'll enjoy. Thanks so much for all my reviews I appreciated them! I suppose that you guys heard of the 'rumor' going around. So I will not be answering my reviewers on my pages. If you would like for me to answer your review by e-mail, just let me know in your review. Sorry for the inconvenience! If you have any questions you want me to answer, then I will answer them by e-mail as well. Thanks! Here's the next chapter! ENJOY!
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("Legolas and his lady friend has been riding for the past hours in the forests of Mirkwood, discussing life, love, and Thranduil. Let's take a closer look, shall we?")
Legolas sighed while pulling Arod and Rivian into a halt. "Let's take a rest."
Anarya sighed. "I can't believe your ada had us to do this. We shouldn't even be out here right now!"
"Well, we cant go back until another..." Legolas looked at the paper in his pocket. "...for atleast four more months."
"FOUR!"
"Yes." Legolas said while sitting on the ground. He then rummaged through his pack. "Hungry?" He asked while pulling out a string.
"Yes." Anarya replied while digging through her pack as well.
"There is a fishing pond over there, and a lake a few miles from it." Legolas said matter-of-factly.
"Great." Anarya pulled out some spare clothes. "I am going to bathe in the lake then. If you'll exscuse me."
"Be my guest." Legolas replied while walking over to the fishing pond. "Need anything, just holler!"
"Right!" Anarya yelled while walking into the woods so she could make it to the lake.
Legolas smiled. He would be enjoying the months that he would spend with Anarya... so he thought...
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"But ada, Legolas get's to do it!"
"And you my sons are not Legolas!" Elrond replied while looking at his three sons. "Now act your age, not your shoe size!"
"I am insulted!" Elrohir snapped.
"Oh grow up!" Aragorn argued. "The both of you!"
"You should know! Your what? Thirty?" Elladan asked.
"Thirty-one thank you, and proud of it!" Aragorn snapped.
"Oh exscuse me, thirty one." Elladan sneered.
"We have a couple of thousand years on him, right Dan?" Elrohir asked.
"Boys! Enough! Or I'll send you to your rooms!"
"Ada, not our rooms!" The three whined.
"Then shut your mouths for atleast a few hours, can you manage that?" Elrond asked.
The three nodded and walked to their rooms any way. There would be no way they could stay silent for even half an hour!
"Now to go and talk to Thranduil..." Elrond sighed while walking towards the elven lords chamber...
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"AHHHH!"
Legolas' head snapped up when he heard Anarya's faint, but strong scream. He jumped up and ran into the woods. He finally made it to the lake and realized that he did not have his weapons with him. He sighed, a lot of good that would do!
He ran out of the woods and stood at the clearing of the lake in panic. "Lady Anarya! Lady Anarya! What is the matter?"
Anarya's head snapped up and with fearful eyes. "LEGOLAS!" She shreiked while sinking deeper into the water. "You know good and well what happened!"
"What?" Legolas asked.
"You stole my clothes!" Anarya accused.
"What?"
"You stole my clothes!"
"Never in my life..." Legolas started. "Well once or twice, but never would I do that in an instance such as this!"
"Yeah, sure, and how do you expect for me to get out of here?"
"The same way you got in."
"With you standing there? As if!" Anarya yelled. "Go away. I have to get some more clothes!"
Legolas took off his tunic and placed it on the ground. "There. Use that."
Anarya looked at him, and he sighed. "Of course." He turned around.
Anarya hurriedly came out of the lake and jerked on the tunic and the leggings that had been left. Legolas turned around. "Thanks." She mumbled.
"Your welcome." Legolas walked back to the pond and grabbed the fish that he had caught while Anarya walked into the cave.
"Women." Legolas mumbled while starting a fire to roast the fish. He soon felt something heavy and wet hit his head. He looked and saw his tunic. "Thanks!"
Anarya was still in the cave, and she yelled out. "Your welcome." She peeked her head out. "Legolas?"
"Hmm?"
"Where's the fish?"
Legolas looked beside him. Great! Just Great! The fish was gone! "I don't know." He exclaimed.
"Me either!" Anarya exclaimed back. "But, I might have an idea."
Legolas looked at her then turned around. There stood three bears, each with a fish in their mouths. "Anarya."
"What?"
"Run."
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"Thranduil?" Elrond asked while knocking on the door.
"GO AWAY!"
Elrond looked at the door un-easily. "Thranduil? It's me. Elrond!"
"I SAID GO AWAY!" A voice boomed from the other side of the door.
"I need to speak with you!"
The door came open and there stood the king. "I said, GO... Oh, Elrond, what a pleasent surprise, come in!"
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"WHAT?"
"Run." Legolas replied while looking around the camp trying to figure out where to run too.
"Uh, Legolas. I'm not leaving this cave."
"And why is that?" Legolas asked while scoping out the area.
"Uh, all my clothes are gone."
"WHAT?"
"My clothes, they're missing." Anarya whispered.
"Women!" He yelled again while taking off his tunic, and throwing it and his cloak toward the cave. "Hurry!"
"Sure thing." Soon Anarya was beside him with the tunic and cloak on.
"Now, Anarya when I say go, run."
"Allright."
"Ready?"
"Uh-huh."
"GO!" The two then sprung toward the woods, the bears in tow...
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"Legolas!"
"Yeah?"
"When can we stop?" Anarya asked.
"Why?"
"Well, let's see. I fell a while ago, I'm tired, we lost the bear, a long time ago and..."
"Point taken." Legolas replied while walking toward her. He then picked her up. "Why didn't you say your tired?"
"I did."
"Oh." Legolas replied casually then ran off with Anarya in his arms.
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"You call this, a home?"
"Well, it will be for tonight. Unless you have something to say about it."
"Are you implying something Legolas?" Anarya asked.
"No, I'm just trying to get a word in."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Anarya asked.
"All you've done on this trip is complain, complain, complain. And I'm sick and tired of hearing you complain!" Legolas yelled.
"Don't raise your voice at me, you, you, you,"
"What?" Legolas asked.
"ORC!" Anarya yelled.
"Oh, that one stung. It takes an orc to know an orc!"
"Uh!" Anarya said in disgust. "Who needs you anyway Legolas Greenleaf? I surely don't!" With those words said Anarya stormed off deep into the forests.
"Women." Legolas mumbled under his breath. "You'll come back, and when you do, you'll be sorry!" Legolas yelled.
"Never!" Anarya yelled.
"I hope you come back." Legolas sighed. What would his father say? "Don't worry Legolas, she'll be back." Legolas said to himself while climbing up the tree so he could keep watch of his surroundings.
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Anarya walked into the woods just a little deeper. Why wasn't Legolas following her? What did he expect? Her to stand out here all by herself? He must be an idiot then.
"Anarya, you should have never went with that Greenleaf, he's so, so, so..." Anarya was looking for the correct words to say, but her mind kept floating back to nice ones. "He's sweet isn't he? Loving, caring..." She smiled then her smile faded when she looked around. "I'm out here, by myself, without... LEGOLAS!"
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Legolas jumped out of the tree when he heard his name being called. "ANARYA!" He yelled while running in the direction he last saw her go.
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Legolas ran as fast as he could and finally stopped. He wondered where Anarya was.
"Legolas! Up here!"
Legolas looked up to see Anarya in a tree.
"What are you doing up there?" He asked.
"Don't you see that, that, that..."
Legolas looked down. "Oh hello there." He walked over to the long, striped, furry thing.
"Don't touch it!"
"Why not? It looks nice." Legolas approached it once more.
"It bit me!"
Legolas looked at Anarya. He was so confused. "What is it then?"
"A-a-a-"
Before Anarya could say anything, the long striped animal tried to attack Legolas. He quickly climbed the tree before the animal had victory over the attack. "Tiger?"
Anarya nodded and hugged Legolas tightly. "I was so scared."
"I'm here now." Legolas smiled sheepishly.
"I know, you'll save us!"
"Yeah." Legolas smiled once more. I hope.
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"Elrond mellon-nin? What is it that you want?" Thranduil asked while picking up a bottle. He then handed it to Elrond.
"Mellon-nin, is that what I think it is?"
Thranduil nodded. "Aye, I just brought it from the cellar. Haven't even drunk none myself."
"Lindon? From the cellar? May I?"
Thranduil nodded and Elrond popped the cork from the bottle and poured each a glass. "To our sons!"
"Our sons!" Thranduil cheered and the two enjoyed a glass of the Lindon.
To be continued...
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Well there was that chapter. Hope you enjoyed! Please review! More coming ASAP!