Title: Mail My Heart
Summary: Emma writes Sean a letter, and he writes her back. This is set after Back In Black.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Degrassi. Well except for my love of the show.
Sean,
If I could put into words how I feel about you, I would. Yet, it seems to me that words can not describe how it is that I feel at this one moment in my life. This one moment when I feel all the regret and pain from years gone by. Why do I feel like this? Why am I being so selfish?
You left for a reason. To correct the various wrongs that you made in your past. To fix the mistakes that have been long waiting to be repaired. Yet I can't stop thinking about how you didn't fix me. You broke me and now I don't know if I can be fixed. I know that you don't need this. That's why I don't expect you to reply. It's just my letter to you to let you know.
I must let you know that I love you Sean Cameron. More than you will ever know. I don't know how you feel about this certain issue, but I just felt the need to fill you in. I don't even know the details of your life anymore. How are you and Ellie? Do you talk, or did you break up? I never talk to her, Jay, or any of the people that you started to hang out with after our breakup. I never really felt like bothering to get close to the people that I knew had some small part in driving you away from me.
Yes, I know I played a big part in that little scenario as well. I do know that I didn't play the entire part. I just wish that you could have given us a chance, instead of running off and becoming some kind of criminal. You just turned into this person that I didn't even know. I had too, you know. I had become some other person. It took all this to make me realize it.
Sean, I'm sorry for all the crap that I did to you after we broke up. You said you were sorry for what you did, but I never got around to asking forgiveness for what I did. For turning you into Mr. Radditch, or just trying to make your life hell. I guess I was just trying to make you feel how I was feeling. I really don't think that it worked too well.
I've been hearing things, from certain people, who hear them from other people, that you're doing fine. It's really great to hear that. You deserve to be doing fine. Please tell me that your parents are treating you well. Better than they did when you were growing up with them. Why am I telling you this? I don't expect a reply to this letter. As stupid as it is, I don't want to know what you think. I just need to get this off my chest.
I feel as though I should end this here. On whatever kind of note this would be. It seems as though, Sean, that you and I had a chance, and we both blew it. I think I'll get over this in time. As long as I have time. Which should be a while. You're doing good, and that's great. Well, I'll end it here.
With Love,
Emma