Summary: In "Employee of the Month," the Teen Titans posed as farmers in order to catch the UFO. Notably, Robin and Starfire as the old farm couple. And of course, they had to put on the premise that they were a married couple… (One shot, Humor/Romance)

Toboe LoneWolf: Drabble-ish idea just suddenly came to mind, felt so strongly that I snickered in class. XD It was therefore decided that this must be written.

Disclaimer: Toboe LoneWolf does not own the Teen Titans. That's owned by Cartoon Network. Or whatever conglomerate it is. XP

Married Couple

Robin twiddled his thumbs, looking up at the night sky. He and the rest of the titans were waiting for the UFO that happened to abduct – of all things – cows. As was expected, the UFO was elusive and random in its cow-stealing. This time around, the titans were trying the undercover route. Raven was hidden in a scarecrow, Beast Boy as a pig, and Cyborg inside a fake cow. As for Starfire and himself…well, the others were a bit inconvenienced sight-wise, so the two of them were masquerading as an old farm couple out on a porch. It was an easy way of giving them a reason to look up in the sky. Even if they had to wear full-body suits and masks in order for them to look like old people.

…Actually the mask was strangely comfortable. Robin thought that a mask within a mask, especially a full face mask, would be uncomfortable. But it wasn't. It was pretty comfortable, actually.

…Now why was his mind babbling like that?

"The weather looks nice."

Robin blinked at the out-of-the-blue statement. "What?"

Starfire turned to look at him. It was a bit disconcerting, to see the elderly woman's face mask instead of Starfire.

"We are posing as an elderly married couple yes? And do they not spend time in conversation in times as these?" She gestured with the knife she was using to peel potatoes. "And I believe that one conversation subject is the weather?"

"Uh, sure."

Starfire continued looking at him.

"I mean, yeah. The weather's great."

Awkward silence. Where in the world had that come from? Robin stared back up at the night sky. Come on, UFO, appear already—

"I do not know what else to say. What do the elderly persons that have been married for a long period of time talk about?" She took another potato.

…Oh great. He so did not want this. He did not want to have a conversation on this subject. Not now. Definitely not now. Not when they were in this position posing as these characters. Robin swallowed. "Well…uh…I bet they talk about how life was back when they were young." Yeah, that was always a safe subject.

"But we are already young. So we cannot talk about this," Starfire pointed out.

"Or uh, stuff about their neighbors or old friends,"

"We have no neighbors nor old friends," Starfire said.

"…We could always make it up," Robin offered. "Just mix it with historical fact."

"Oh! Well then, did you know that our old friend Cyborg bought a bar of candy for only one earth dime yesterday?"

"…I don't think that's how it works."

Starfire stopped peeling the potato for a moment and looked at Robin. "I do not understand."

"Oh, it'd probably go something like this." Robin coughed and imitated a crotchety old woman's voice. " 'Superhero pish tush! Back in my day, we didn't need no superheros to protect us, we did just fine with farmhand Billy and the gun over the fireplace, you mark my words young man, and listen t' yer elders…children these days don't listen no more…' "

Starfire giggled. "I did not know you could make funny voices like that, Robin."

Robin smiled, and picked up a strand of grass and stuck it in his mouth, leaning back. "I can do a lot of things, lady."

"Lady?"

"Uh…earth colloquialism, never mind."

Starfire frowned. "But what did the rest of it mean? 'Mark my words?' How does one mark a verbal conversation?"

"That basically means that the listener should pay attention." Robin scratched his head. "And um…I don't know what I was saying. Just random complaints that old people sometimes make."

"Elderly married people tend to complain?"

"…Ah, some do."

"Well, I hope that we do not."

Robin blinked. "What?"

Starfire turned to look at him. "That we do not complain when we are elderly and together."

The implications of that statement hit Robin. He swallowed. "Uh, sure."

"Good." Starfire shifted, taking a more comfortable position in the chair. "I hope that we will live long lives and spend glorious hours in happy conversation."

"…Right."

"Although this conversation is quite strange," Starfire mused. "We have tried talking about the weather, historical fiction about our future pasts, earth colloquiums, and the types of conversations that elderly people have, and yet I still do not know truly what couples who have been married for a long number of earth years talk about, or even what we shall talk about when we are—"

"Uh, Star?"

Starfire blinked. "Yes, Robin?"

"Sometimes…" Robin turned and put a hand on Starfire's. "People who've been married a long time…don't need to talk, because they already understand." He squeezed her hand gently.

Starfire looked down at Robin's hand clasping hers and smiled. Robin smiled back and then pulled his hand back. The two of them turned back to their respective seats and watched the night sky, in comfortable silent conversation.

Like an old married couple.