ALMOST HAD IT ALL
A/N: WARNING. This chapter contains rape. Consequently, the rating is bumped for this chapter, but only for the sequences that include the actual event.
Chapter Nine – Rescued from the Waters
She sits in her corner
singing herself to sleep
wrapped in all of the promises
that no one seems to keep
she no longer cries to herself
no tears left to wash away
Just diaries of empty pages
feelings gone astray
but she will sing
Till everything burns
while everyone screams
burning their lies
burning my dreams
all of this hate
and all of this pain
I'll burn in all down
as my anger reigns
Till everything burns
Ooh, Oh
Walking through life unnoticed
knowing that no one cares
too consumed in their masquerade
no one sees her there
And still she sings
Till everything burns
while everyone screams
burning their lies
burning my dreams
all of this hate
and all of this pain
I'll burn it all down
as my anger reigns
Till everything burns
Everything burns
(Everything burns)
Everything burns
Watching it all fade away
(All fade away)
Everyone screams
Everyone screams
(watching it all fade away)
Ooh, oh
(While everyone screams)
Burning down lies
Burning my dreams
(All of this hate)
And all of this pain
I'll burn it all down
as my anger reigns
Till everything burns
(everything burns)
Watching it all fade away
(ooh, oh)
(Everything burns)
Watching it all fade away
"Everything Burns" Ben Moody feat. Anastacia
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
470 A.D.
North of Hadrian's Wall…
Her blood seemed to freeze the second she hit the water. Temporarily stunned by the cold, Aylin could do nothing but watch helplessly as she sank deeper and deeper, weighed down by her heavy clothes, boots and weapons.
The light drifted farther and farther away, but she was not afraid. A strange sense of peace spread throughout her body, and she realized: it was finally over. In spite of the numbness of her face, Aylin smiled. She considered herself ready for this.
Some…most, actually…would disagree, saying that 23 was far too young an age for one to consider oneself ready for death. Aylin thought differently.
More than ready to cast aside all the trials and hurt she'd had in her short life, Aylin closed her eyes to the ever-fading light from the surface.
Above the ice, the knights acted quickly. It hadn't been long since Aylin had slipped under the icy waves, but no one had expected her to sink so far so fast.
Dagonet was the first to reach the hole in which Aylin had fallen. Immediately he began to swipe one hand in the water, hoping to grab hold of something, while the other kept a grip on the ice to balance him.
Growling in frustration after a few unsuccessful moments, Dagonet yelled to Bors,
"Bors, hold my legs! I can't reach her like this!"
Bors knelt down quickly and took hold of the man's legs. Dagonet moved closer to the edge of the hole, plunging both arms into the water.
His fingers had gone numb, but when Dagonet's hand bumped into something, he knew he had what he'd been looking for. Grabbing hold of whatever it was, Dagonet pulled with all the strength he could muster in his position.
It turned out, that he had gripped Aylin's forearm. As her body came closer to the surface, Dagonet could see her eyes were closed and her lips blue. Crying out in strain one last time, Dagonet pulled her from the water, with Tristan grabbing her legs to pull her onto the ice.
The knights, and even Guinevere, watched in worry as Tristan leaned over Aylin's face checking for some kind of life. The only sounds heard were the panting of adrenaline, Tristan's mumbled words and the shouts from the remainder of the Saxon infantry on the opposite side of the lake.
Tristan frantically listened for Aylin's breathing and was panicked when it could not be heard. Taking her rapidly blue-turning face in his hands, he put his mouth to hers and blew in.
After several more tries, he was rewarded by Aylin's coughing, sputtering and immediate shivering. Tristan watched as her eyes opened slightly, their blue centers looking up at him.
He mistook the disappointment he read in them before they closed again to be because he, Tristan, had brought her back, not one of the others.
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After the knights had caught back up with the caravan, Arthur called a halt in order to help the wounded.
The sick wagon and Honorius carriage were stopped near each other, a fire built in between them, with blankets going from end to end, to give some semblance of privacy to the people in the makeshift 'infirmary'.
On one side of the fire, Fulcinia was competently stitching up a large gash on Dagonet's upper arm were he had been nicked by an arrow that had apparently missed Aylin.
Not far from where they sat, the knights were spread out, vertical lines of worry and concern etched between their brows, as they watched Gawain and Arthur poke around the arrow sticking from Aylin's side.
She had been changed into dry clothes by the knights, or at least down to the bare essentials, which by that point, Fulcinia had started clucking at them, forcing them out of the space while she herself finished the changing. Though she was burning with fever, Aylin was nearest to the fire, bundled in blankets and furs, though leaving her wound exposed to the ministrations of the commander and his knight.
"The blood is bright, so at least we know the arrow didn't hit any organs," Arthur was saying while helping Gawain roll Aylin onto her right side, the woman wincing at the movement.
"It is almost out on this side, so it is safe to push it through," Gawain said through tight lips, surveying the gruesome wound, then Aylin's feverish face.
Tristan took a strip of corded leather and placed it between Aylin's teeth, instructing her to bite down.
"On the count of three," Arthur began, breaking off the end of the arrow. "One…Two…Three!" He said with a grunt as he pushed the Saxon bolt through Aylin's side, his hands now slippery with her warm blood. Aylin groaned lowly as her teeth clenched the leather.
Gawain immediately pulled the rest through and placed the cloths they had prepared to the exit, giving Arthur the others to do the same to the entry.
"It is too deep for stitching," Tristan stated, "the wound needs cauterizing."
All the men swore at the news. Cauterizing was a nasty business that no one wished to take part in. Arthur sighed and placed his own dagger in the fire until the blade glowed red.
Gesturing to his men, each grabbing hold of Aylin, Arthur took his dagger from the flame and placed it in the wound.
She screamed against the cord, and her eyes closed, squeezing out a tiny drop of moisture.
When Arthur signaled that he was done, Gawain gently laid Aylin back on the blankets, her eyes still closed. Arthur took the extra bit of cloth and tied a knot in it on Ayin's stomach to keep the bandage from falling off.
While watching his commander, Gawain's gaze was drawn to a jagged light-colored scar on Aylin's lower abdomen, spanning from one hipbone to the other.
"What is this?" He asked softly to himself.
But not softly enough, because Galahad soon asked, "What is it?" peering over Gawain's shoulder to get a better look.
The others joined Galahad in coming closer and getting their own look. No one noticed, except for Dagonet, who stayed seated, that Fulcinia froze when the scar was mentioned.
"It looks like it was done with a blade," Lancelot muttered.
"Very slowly," Tristan added, though he was aware of what it might be--from what Aylin had told him--he couldn't be sure. "Look at how it angles. It would have been a clean, straight cut if it were received in battle."
Bors crouched down and looked curiously at the topic of discussion.
"What is it Bors?" Arthur asked.
Still looking at the scar, he replied, "Looks to me like it was done slowly and deliberately, with a distinct purpose in mind. They wanted to do something like this to Vanora – the midwives – when it took so long to birth number one."
Everyone paused. Fulcinia whimpered.
"Are you suggesting that…Aylin was pregnant and someone cut the child from her body?" Arthur asked in a shocked tone. "Is that what Marius was speaking of this morning?"
Gawain watched Fulcinia with suspicious eyes. "Perhaps we should ask the Lady Honorius?"
The men turned toward the woman, who had a look of fear on her pale face.
"Do you know something of this?" Lancelot questioned sternly.
Fulcinia lowered her eyes. No one noticed that Aylin's were now open.
Dagonet leaned toward her and asked softly, "What do you know?"
While Fulcinia told the part of the story that she knew, Aylin remembered it for herself.
The air was smoky, with random rays of light spiking through the sheer tent cloth. Aylin's bare feet were roughly dragged across the rickety stage by Machus until she was front and center. These people scared her. The bodies were visible, but the faces were obscured. Maybe it was the smoke, or maybe it was what that Roman had given her. She couldn't be sure. Machus began prodding and groping her, trying to get her to act 'feisty', as the soldiers had put it. The bidding began…………..
Lucius Canimas was the name of the man who had bought Aylin, whom he referred to as his 'Little Sarmatian Flower'. The moment they returned to the Canimas Estate, Aylin was subjected to the unmasked hatred of the Lady of the house – Borcella, Lucius' extremely jealous wife. What she had to be jealous of a five year old, no one knew for certain. But…they had a pretty good clue.
Since they had returned late in the day, Aylin was taken to a small room where she was to sleep. Once she was inside, the door was closed and locked. Frightened in the dark, cold room, Aylin curled up in a ball on the small, dirty bed in the corner. She hadn't been there long it seemed when the door slammed open and closed with Lucius' intrusion.
'Now, girl, is the time to see if your price was worthy,' Lucius snarled.
Grabbing her by the hair, Lucuis pulled her up. He made short work of her clothes, easily ripping off the tattered garments, then pushed her back on the tiny bed, quickly parting his robes and laying himself on top of her small frame.
The tears had already formed in Aylin's eyes and were now sliding down the sides of her face. This is the kind of thing that those soldiers had done to her and she just couldn't understand why. She could feel the hardness of Lucuis' swollen manhood pressing against her bare legs. Struggle was pointless. There was no way a girl her age could overpower a grown man.
Even the knowledge of what was to come didn't prepare Aylin for the pain when Lucuis violently thrust into her. Screaming loudly did nothing to stop it. He must have gotten irritated with her constant yelping, because he covered her mouth with his hand, while his own mouth greedily sucked the nipples of her nonexistent breasts. His hips continued to move for what seemed like hours. His male grunts of lust, pleasure and satisfaction escalated about the room, while her muffled whimpering quieted as she began to lose consciousness. But then…he withdrew. Aylin couldn't help the sigh in relief as her senses were returned to her.
But Lucius wasn't finished with her yet. Sitting on the bed, he leaned up against he wall and grabbed her and sat her on his lap, his penis filling her from the back. Her agonized scream went on and on as Lucius pumped her hips up and down with his hands. The act made her so physically sick that Aylin vomited, the bile covering one side of the bed and the floor. Aylin lost consciousness long before Lucius was finished.
When she woke some time later, curling in a ball on the bed, the only thing that convinced Aylin it wasn't some horrible dream – nightmare – was the pain in her body and the vomit on the bed…
Sitting on the bed in her room, Aylin wondered how she had survived the past seven years. Now look at her: twelve years old, no family, a slave, an unwilling prostitute, and now, at least eight months pregnant with some man's bastard………
Aylin was finished with her memory by the time Galahad noticed she was awake.
Looking straight at Fulcinia, Aylin asked what she'd wondered since they'd arrived at the camp.
"Where is he? Where is my son?"
Next Chapter: Birth to Memories
I had to work for four hours after school for the past two weeks. So I haven't had time to write. I apologize.
I sincerely hope that you guys enjoyed the chapter and I will try to update soon.
Please Review! I only got one for the last chapter and it made me sad.
Bye!