Almost Had It All Chapter 12: Birth to Memories, a king arthur fanfic

Almost Had It All

Hey guys! Guess what? I got a Laptop! My mom got me one for Christmas, but she couldn't wait that long to give it to me–plus she knew how much trouble my old computer was giving me. Unfortunately, the memory pen wouldn't work, so I can't get my chapters off the old computer. So I had to completely rewrite this chapter–which was almost ready for posting–so sorry for the late update! Also, this chapter starts off with Fulcinia's telling of the story and will then continue on with the end of last chapter.

Chapter Ten: Birth to Memories

I know there's something in the wake of your smile
I get a notion from the look in your eyes
Yeah
You've built a love, but love falls apart
You're little piece of heaven, turns to dark

Listen to your heart
When he's calling for you
Listen to your heart
There's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
And I don't know why
Listen to your heart
Before you tell him goodbye

Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worth while
The precious moments are all lost in the tide
Yeah
There swept away, and nothing is what it seems
The feeling of belonging to your dreams

I don't know where you're going
And I don't know why
Listen to your heart
Before you tell him goodbye

"Listen to Your Heart" D.H.T. (Acoustic version)

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

470 A.D.

North of Hadrian's Wall...

Dagonet leaned toward her and asked softly, "What do you know?"

Raising tear filled eyes to the knights, Fulcinia told them all she knew.

"Aylin was once a slave to a man named Lucius Canimas, a cruel man who had been a friend of my late husband," the knights nodded in recognition of information they knew, "I do know for a fact that Lucius' wife, Borcella, was immensely jealous of the young girl. At first, I was unsure as to why, but then, during a visit to the Canimas Villa, I overheard a handmaiden speaking of Borcella's inability to give Lucius heirs.

"But I'm getting ahead of myself. My husband and I had made several trips to Lucius' home–because Marius and Lucius often did business together–in the years after Lucius purchased Aylin at market. Lucius was very...proud of his possessions and displayed them as often as possible. He used her as a party favor, passing her out to his guests–those of whom didn't bring their own with them–as a slave for the night."

Fulcinia paused as a tear slipped from her eye and ran down her cheek. Brushing it away, she continued in a broken voice.

"I-I know that she was a favorite of Marius. That poor girl. Anytime that I saw her, she looked so sad. No child should have to suffer such pain. During one visit–I think she was about eleven summers then–I walked down a hall and heard her sobbing. I opened the door and saw her crouched in the corner of this horrible room–so small and dirty–with her head to her knees. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had just found out she was pregnant from the Villa's healer. She told me how scared she was. It was impossible to know who the father was: Lucius had had many visitors that month, including Cardinal Crassus, my own husband and God knows who else.

"After that day, I learned of Borcella's situation and realized the source of her hatred. Here was this girl, who was capable of doing what she could not–have a child. It was then that I also learned of the reason for Aylin's fear. Borcella was a very manipulative woman, so when Lucius and Marius went away on business, she had Aylin taken away to someplace–I probably don't want to know where she had her kept–until it was time to give birth. Borcella planned to pass the baby off as her own, since Lucius wouldn't be back for a long while."

She looked over at Bors and continued.

"You were correct about the scar. Borcella didn't want the baby to actually be born of a Sarmatian girl, so she contracted someone to get it out another way. I have heard of such procedures and know that most women do not survive the blood loss or the infection. It was a miracle that Aylin lived. After the operation was over, Borcella had her husband's mercenaries dump Aylin in the river. After that, it is said that she was found by the General Gattus and his son Cornelius, who then took her back to his home in Greece.

"When she came back and kil–" She broke off and looked questioningly at Arthur, who nodded and replied,

"We are aware of her actions against the Canimas family."

"After she killed Lucius and Borcella, she came to me and asked me to take care of the baby–Dominic, as I'm sure you figured out this morning–for her. She knew that she would never be able to do it herself. The child would always be a target for her enemies. I guess I didn't do a very good job of taking care of her son."

"It wasn't your fault that Marius put him in that cell," Dagonet told her firmly.

Silence fell about the men as they thought on what they'd been told. Galahad looked over to the woman by the fire and saw that Aylin's eyes were open and watching Fulcinia. He cleared his throat to gain the men's attention and gestured with his chin when they look at him in askance.

"Where is he? Where is my son?" Aylin asked hoarsely.

When Fulcinia didn't speak, Dagonet answered, "He is with Lucan. A serf woman offered to make them stew for dinner. He went after Lucan begged him to; he was worried about you."

"Would you like me to go fetch him for you?" Fulcinia finally asked.

Shaking her head, Aylin replied, "No. I just wished to know his whereabouts."

The men watched her, and Lancelot asked how her wound was.

"Fine. It hurts like a bitch, but it will be fine."

When they continued to watch her, Aylin spoke in a soft voice, "Don't pity me. I don't need or want it. It wasn't like it was unusual for a girl to have a child at that age."

"But y–you have a son that you don't even know," Galahad asked incredulously.

"And that's how it will stay," she replied harshly. "It is better that he knows nothing of me as well. He wasn't even supposed to know who I was," Aylin said, looking at Fulcinia.

"When he got older, Dominic started asking me about his parents," Fulcinia stated quickly, "I only told him that his mother's name was Aylin. He must have heard it from someone and realized who you were. I never expected him to find out. But when you brought him out of the prison, it seemed as though he recognized him and you him. How is that possible?"

Aylin said nothing for a moment, then spoke. "I saw him in Rome. Five years ago, after ago after Gattus' death, Cornelius and I traveled to Rome and I saw him an alley. To say I was shocked is an immense understatement. To know him without ever having seen him before... But he looked so much like Kavan, that it couldn't have been anyone else."

Aylin paused to look at Arthur. "That was when I first tried to stop using Morpheus. But it's much harder than I thought it would be."

Nodding, Arthur stood and said, "Well, I think we should let you rest. Tomorrow you will ride in the wagon–no arguments," he added when she opened her mouth to retort. "You cannot ride a horse with a freshly cauterized wound."

"But he will be in the wagon as well," Aylin said through gritted teeth.

Arthur gave her a sympathetic frown and left the "infirmary". Soon, the others followed suit: some of the knights going on watch, while the others went to rest. Fulcinia left to find Alecto and make sure that he'd eaten supper.

But Aylin wasn't alone. Tristan sat next to her, pulling out a knife to cut up the bruised apple he'd taken from his sack.

Offering her a piece, Tristan asked softly in his accented voice, "Why don't you want to know him?"

Taking the offered chunk of apple, Aylin asked before taking a bite, "This coming from the elusive scout, who never gets close to anyone, or so I hear?"

Tristan shrugged and merely said, "Curiosity."

Aylin sighed and moved her gaze from his face to the blazing fire. "To what end? Tristan, being a scout I'm sure you've noticed that I'm not exactly well. How can anyone be after taking a drug such as Morpheus for as long as I have?"

Looking back at him, she said quietly, "I don't want to get to know him, and see what I almost had."

Tristan furrowed his brows. "Almost?"

"Before... Before I left Rome for Britain, I went to a doctor, hoping he could tell me why I would start shaking, or why I would cough uncontrollably for several minutes. When I told him about the Morpheus, he said that... if taken long enough, it would destroy you. He estimated at least two years."

Aylin could tell by the expression on his face that he understood what she meant.

"That's why I don't want to get close to him. It would be unfair–to both of us."

She closed her eyes and pulled the blanket tighter around her, willing herself to sleep.

Tristan stared at her face: the closed lids, the long lashes, the red cheeks, and full lips.

Something inside him heaved at the thought of her dying. She had–hopefully–a full life ahead of her.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The next morning, Aylin sat annoyed in the wagon. Across from her sat Guinevere, who didn't seem too happy to have Aylin in the wagon either. Dominic and Lucan sat adjacent to both women, confused by the tense silence.

Aylin watched as the Woad would watch for Lancelot or Arthur–whoever was closer–and try her damnedest to get his attention.

After several hours of listening to the girl's flirting, and avoiding eye contact and speech with Dominic by feigning sleep, Aylin finally lost all patience and sat up. Glaring at Guinevere, Aylin hopped off the bumpy cart and untied Artay from its back post.

Gritting her teeth, Aylin swung up on her horse, hissing at the stab of hot pain in her side. Gathering the reins, she guided Artay ahead of the wagon.

When Gawain told her to return to the cart, Aylin replied with, "If I go back to that wagon, I'll kill that Woad and I don't think that would make Arthur very happy, now would it?"

Seeing the wisdom in the decision, Gawain said no more on the subject and continued to walk his horse next to Aylin's.

A little after midday, the caravan stopped for a rest and a short meal. When Arthur approached her, Aylin merely repeated what she'd said to Gawain, which caused the commander to sigh, but then leave her alone.

An hour later, Arthur roused everyone from their seats and the group started to move again. Aylin went to Artay and found Dominic standing before the black stallion, patting the horse's neck.

When the boy noticed Aylin's presence, he softly said, "He is an amazing animal."

"His name is Artay. He was a gift," she replied, untying the ropes that tied the horse to a nearby tree.

"From my father?" Dominic asked shyly.

Scoffing, Aylin said sharply, "No. From a good friend of mine."

Emboldened by the fact that she was actually talking to him, Dominic continued with his questions.

"Will I meet your friend?"

"He's dead," she answered with a sigh.

"How did he die?"

"Gods, kid! Do you ever stop asking questions?"

Dominic's bravery wilted at her tone and his gaze dropped to the ground. Aylin saw the dejected motion and held back a curse.

Placing her hand on his thin shoulder, Aylin said softly, "Understand. I have a history that I don't like to think of, and your questions do not help. I know you know who I am to you, but... I'm a soldier, I haven't spent a lot of time around children... Oh hell, I don't know what to say to you , all right? I'm not the "motherly" type."

He looked back up at her, and slowly nodded his head.

Aylin returned the gesture with a brisk nod. After a moment's deliberation, she asked,

"Would you like to ride him?"

Surprised, Dominic stared at her, then his gaze moved between Aylin and the horse before he nodded eagerly.

Moving out of the way of the stirrup, Aylin placed the boy's foot into the leather strap and gave him a push up onto the stallion, who perked his ears back, as if following their conversation.

"Hold the reins firmly and make sure you give him his head," Aylin instructed, taking the rope from the tree and leading the horse to the middle of the caravan where the other knights were, rolling her eyes at Lancelot when the boy began his endless questions again.

Sorry it's a little short, but this chapter serves more as an interlude before we get back to the wall and more drama erupts. Hope you liked it.

Review!