Chapter Thirty-Four: Pretend

Hoshi entered the mess hall and paused in mid-step.

"Hey."

"Hi," she said.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Fine, and you?"

"Good."

Trip got up from his seat and guided Hoshi to a chair.

They faced each other, and Hoshi tried to smile.

"Hoshi…"

"Trip…"

They both talked at the same time.

Trip chuckled. "Ladies first," he gestured.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"I know," he said. "I'm sorry, too."

"Listen," he continued. "I haven't been straight with you since I've been back."

Hoshi raised her eyebrow. "Was there something you needed me to know?"

"You wanna know the real story?"

"I think I deserve to know."

Trip sighed. "The day we retrieved the antidote for the virus to save you, Malcolm was shot in the leg."

"Yes," Hoshi said carefully, "I already know that."

"Let me continue. When that happened, I decided the fastest way for him to get medical attention and for you to get the antidote as soon as possible was to transport him to the ship.

"I was gonna fly the shuttlepod back, with Nevilka. But she sensed something wrong before we entered the pod. She pushed me to run, and it was just in time, because the area was booby-trapped. Everything had exploded.

"Suddenly, Oknashtian troops chased after us. We managed to escape, just barely. I couldn't get a hold of the ship, so we had to jump around quickly.

"Thinking of Nevilka's safety, as we traveled to different planets, we decided to get married, as a masquerade.

"It took us a few months, but we finally found you guys. But the Suliban and Oknashtians found us, as well.

"I explained everything to Jon and asked that this be kept low-key. That's why only a few crewmembers knew anything about an impending attack on the ship."

"Why did you continue with the pretense?" Hoshi asked. "Why didn't you tell me everything?"

"Because Nevilka was dying."

"What?"

"She had been shot with a disease, much like you, on one of her missions against her government. Except hers didn't have a cure. I figured, why take away her happiness while she's still alive."

"She loved you." Hoshi realized. "She told me, before she died, to tell you 'thank you'. I hadn't known the real meaning behind that."

"Since the attack, we lost ten crewmembers, including Lieutenant Hubbert…all because of me."

"I know."

"It's my fault. I should be punished somehow. Yet, I'm back, a commander again, and chief engineer." He shook his head. "For the price of my wife and ten crewmembers that I never really got to know."

"You can self-pity, Trip; but it doesn't change a thing."

"I spent the other night thinking of all the things that should be right. But like you said, nothing is changed. Life just keeps going." He reached across the table and placed his hand on hers. "Tell me a story," he said, gently.

"I don't know any."

"How about the one with the man who's made a lot of bad decisions in his life? The same man who, right now, wants to tell the woman in front of him how much he still loves her."

Hoshi pulled her hand away. "Trip…we're not together anymore. I don't think we could ever go back. Everything's different."

Trip stood up and pulled Hoshi with him. "Let's just pretend. Everything else doesn't exist; only you and me."

Hoshi looked into his eyes. "Okay," she said.

Trip smiled and pulled Hoshi closer. They held each other and slowly turned in the mess hall. For tonight, they could dance reality away.

Little did they know, outside, a pair of blue eyes had been watching.