The Paint Alchemist
"I give up!" Roy said with an air of defeat, throwing his hands up as he walked down the hallway back to his office. "Trying to find a secretary didn't exactly work out quite as I imagined it would,"

"No it didn't, sir." Riza replied, "Should we try hiring girlfriends next time?"

The remarked caught Roy off guard. There was definitely something bothering the first lieutenant and he had a feeling that he was the cause. He could please any woman he wants, but the one person that he actually cares about, hates his guts right now. He sighed; nothing today was turning out quite as he imagined it would, from the weather, to the paperwork, to the secretaries and now Riza.

"What are you so upset about?" Roy asked her, pushing open the door. He sat back down at his table, rain still pouring outside and mountains of paperwork on his table. He had always taken Hawkeye to be the unflappable type, so it was rare and puzzling when she showed any type of emotions.

"Nothing colonel," She replied succinctly, not looking up from her own work, "Besides, I am not upset." She said with emphasis on the "not".

Roy shrugged, whatever it was that was bothering her, she wasn't willing to share with him. With a groan he plucked a sheet from the top of the pile and began skimming through the sheet. He scratched his name on the dotted line and pushed it aside. He groaned again, just a million more to go. It was so easy, so simple that it was just a snap of his fingers. He could set all of it on fire, watch burn to a crisp and voila! Ladies and Gentlemen, his problem solved!

He started sketching a picture of a dog on the corner of his paper. He was never the artist and the dog didn't look much like a dog. He set his fountain pen down and sighed. He glanced around his office. It was a boring office. The walls were white, the ceilings were white, the floors where white. And shelves were oak, the tables were oak, the door knob brass. Maybe he needed change!

"Yes! That's what I need!" He exclaimed for the second time that day, "First lieutenant! We're going to paint the office."

Riza sighed, watching her now hyperactive superior officer dash about the office gesticulating and planning how he was going to paint his office. She sighed again, sometimes she wondered how she was able to put up with him sometimes. And the small voice in the back of her head crept out of its hole and whispered, 'maybe you are falling for him.'

"No, I am not!" She said out loud.

"Eh? What's the Hawkeye?" Roy asked, turning to look at her. Riza shook her head and Roy shrugged, returning to the blank wall and his grand plan for his new office.

After sending Havoc and Falman to purchase paint, Roy began working on a circle that would in theory, make painting his office a snap.

"There has to be a circle for painting!" Roy said flipping frantically through the pages. "Aha!" His forefinger jabbed at a picture of a complicated circle. "There we go Riza! The transmutation circle for…paint! Success!" He held the large alchemy book over his head in triumph.

There was something obviously wrong with the colonel today and Riza couldn't quite put her fingers on it, but something was amiss. Usually, he was moody on rainy days, spent the day sulking and left early either on a date or to have a drink at a bar. Oh, he had a date tonight, Antoinette Baumgartner. She twitched, that name that damned name. She was blonde too, so why can't he ask her- She paused mid thought, did she just think what she thought she did? No, no, nononono! She didn't want him to ask her out. No! Damnit! Damnit! She sighed again and looked over at Black Hayate and sighed again. Lucky dog. She smiled and picked him up.

Havoc and Falman returned awkwardly with large buckets of paint in different colors several minutes later. "Here ya go, Colonel." Havoc said, the cigarette bobbing up and down as he spoke. "Are you sure you are feeling okay? Because, well." He gestured at the paint cans.

"Yes, Lieutenant, feeling fit as a fiddle!"

"Since when did the colonel start saying fit as a fiddle?" Falman whispered to Havoc who shrugged in response.

"Okay, here goes nothing." Roy fetched a pair of gloves from his drawer, almost identical to his other ones, the ones that set things on fire, and slipped them on. An odd circle on the back, drawn hastily in ink was the source of his alchemy.

Snap. "Orange?" He asked his subordinates, who all stood mouth agape and staring at what use to be their office, now painted an insane shade of neon orange. No one knew how he did it, but the Flame Alchemist has mastered the almost none existent art of paint alchemy. The cigarette tumbled out of Havoc's mouth and onto the floor. All was quiet except for the constant pitter patter of rain against the window pane.

"No." Havoc said slowly, "Sir." He added.

"Okay, red!"

No was the unanimous answer once again.

"Blue?"

"Lighter shade." Falman suggested, rubbing his chin and looking at the room. Havoc and Riza looked him as if he was crazy too.

"Don't encourage him!" Havoc shook Falman by the shoulders.

Snap! The room exploded into sky blue. "Nah," Roy shook his head. Another snap. Pink. "Definitely not!" Snap!

Snap! Snap! Snap! From outside the main building in Central one could see the colorful sparks flying out of Colonel Roy Mustang's window on this rainy day. Every few seconds followed by shouts of "No! Change the color!". Any passerby would stop and look curiously into the colonel's office before another color exploded in their face made them run for cover.

"You know, you ought to have a second name, the Paint Alchemist."

Everyone in the office turned towards the door which was occupied by a short blonde boy and a giant suit of armor.