Disclaimer: Only borrowing.

Spoilers: Through Season Two

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who's reading.

To avoid further thoughts of this nature the next night Seth switched cd's altogether. As Dolly Parton started singing 9 to 5 Seth sighed and swung his legs off the desk. He stacked his fists on top of each other and propped his chin up.

Who was he kidding? It was only a matter of time before he made the decision to put Chicago back in. Maybe he should talk to Ryan about this. Not the fantasizing about him while listening to Chicago part, of course, but the insomnia.

What if it's just a reaction to the shooting? Seth suddenly thought. Yeah, like some weird form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? Only in his case the 'S' stood for Sex? He groaned as he realized that now that this thought had occurred to him he was going to have to do some sort of test to see if it was true or not.

Seth's inner Ryan-sounding voice sighed that this was most definitely going to end up in the bad place.

But it didn't have to go to the bad place. It could just be as easy as talking to Ryan about his insomnia. Seth thought about his previous idea for a moment before nodding to himself. Maybe once Ryan knew Seth was suffering he would say something that would be able to once and for all convince him that Ryan was no longer in any danger. The image of bloody Ryan could be exorcised.

An exorcism! Maybe Ryan could help him perform an exorcism! Seth threw his hands up in the air before it hit him that if they tried to perform an exorcism it would be his luck to do it wrong and invite some kind of demonic spirit to take up residence. It would probably possess Ryan and then Seth would…wait, if it possessed Ryan then maybe that could be the litmus test Seth was looking for!

Because Seth would really have to have some problems if he found Possessed Ryan hot, right? Seriously, if Ryan's skin turned all green and he started puking up pea soup that he'd never eaten…

"Blech," Seth muttered, covering his eyes with his hands in a vain attempt to get the image out of his head.

Seth began to doubt the wisdom of talking to Ryan about his insomnia, fearful now that he would inadvertently blurt out the exorcism idea and its accompanying imagery, and that wouldn't go far in convincing Ryan that Seth is okay.

Ok, so what was the test going to be? He got up to pace, tapping his fingers together against his lips as he moved back and forth. He decided that it was probably best if he pretended that this was a case of him trying to figure out if he liked a girl—and then immediately put the thought of Ryan as a girl into The Vault, deathly afraid that he had somehow telepathied it out to Ryan who was right now as we speak on his way to kick Seth's ass.

Was it different when you were trying to figure out if a dude liked another dude? While fervently praying to whatever deity was on duty tonight Seth decided that it couldn't be that dissimilar, really. You had feelings about them and they tended to change when you were close and away from that person. In a healthy relationship you felt bad when they were away and happy when they were close.

But that didn't really help because Seth would feel that way about Ryan regardless…that was a suitable test for a friend, maybe, but not someone you were having all sorts of lusty wrong thoughts about.

Luckily Seth was no stranger to lusty wrong thoughts and so he ruminated on his own relationships. Back when he was attracted to Summer and Anna—back when he was FIRST attracted to Summer, he hastily corrected himself—how did he know? There had been lots of glances, touches, innuendos and kisses.

Was it fair to compare those relationships to this—this—whatever it was? Not really, because those had both started on the down low, the q-t, whatever the kids were calling it nowadays. Well, actually, he thought, any relationship of a beyond friendship type that he would potentially have with Ryan would start the same way, most likely.

So okay, Ryan was like a girl that way. And Seth felt a chill go down his spine as he opened The Vault in less than ten minutes…never a good sign. Shaking off the feeling of impending doom Seth plopped back down in the chair, laid his arms down on the desk's surface and rested his forehead. The test was clear…He was going to have to invade Ryan's personal space.

But how was he going to do it? Obviously he was going to have to muster all the Stealth that he possessed, but aside from that the big question was really…how was he going to do it without creeping Ryan out?

He could go to the pool house and like sit on Ryan's bed talking to him and then he could just happen to fall asleep—but these days the painkillers were likely to knock Ryan out pretty quickly, and Ryan may not buy it if he woke up the next day to Seth in his bed.

Hmmm, ok, he could like sit closer to him at breakfast and such. He could find an interesting article and then like nudge closer to Ryan with the paper and lean in while he told Ryan all about it. That could work. He could also get more physically into Playstation. There were plenty of opportunities for accidentally-on-purpose touches there—but Seth knew that he got so into Playstation that he could probably be sitting in Ryan's lap and wouldn't notice. Well, that was probably a stretch but that move should be saved for a really special occasion.

He could start handing Ryan things in such a way as to ensure that Ryan's hand had to touch his own. Yes! And he could make sure not to look at Ryan while he did it so Ryan would be unaware that Seth even knew he was doing it! Brilliant!

Seth clenched his hands together, itching to go out to the pool house and put his plan into motion. Easy boy, slow down there, he cautioned himself. Rushing into things gets us nowhere. So let's review.

We have the leaning at breakfast…check. Then there's the subtle handing Ryan things thing…check check. Ooh…he could like put his hand on Ryan's shoulder and be all like "Dude, how are you feeling today? You look a little wiped out."

Yes…those were great places to start. Seth started humming to himself as he imagined all the touching he was going to get to do. Then his eyes widened and he realized what he was doing with the plan, and more importantly, how it was making him feel.

Oh dear. Maybe that test wasn't really necessary after all.

Huh. But maybe he should implement it anyway, just to be on the safe side.

And maybe he should just put the Chicago cd in now and get this over with—roger that, he replied to himself and put Dolly Parton out of her misery.

Ryan shuffled into the kitchen, scratching the back of his neck. He went to the refrigerator to get a glass of water but as he reached for the door he noticed a soft light coming from the den.

He got his water, blinking against the light from the refrigerator, and went to investigate. It was probably Sandy, up doing some work but in case it was Seth, bored and unable to sleep, he figured he could keep him company until his next dose of pain killers kicked in.

But as he yawned he realized that he may not have that much time until they kicked in…he was beat. He heard the music before he reached the door and he stopped to listen to it, knowing who it was in the back of his mind but unable to walk and think at the same time.

It sounded like Chicago, which probably meant it was Sandy and not Seth, because Ryan couldn't imagine Seth listening to Chicago unless something was very wrong.

And it was that thought that made him continue walking. Before the shooting, he wouldn't have given it a second thought, would have in fact hoped for a situation where Seth could be found listening to Chicago so that he could make fun of him.

But since the shooting the fact was that Seth had this haunted look in his eyes, and when Ryan looked at him he saw Seth staring back at him, and he knew without asking that the other teen had been shaken by the gunfire, had thought that Ryan was the one shot.

If Seth had insomnia he should have come out to pool house, Ryan thought with a frown.

I picture you on the beach
Lying in the sand
Out of reach of my trembling hands
I picture you in a car

Blonde hair in the wind
I picture you in my arms
And the touch of your skin
The smile on your face
The way that you taste

Ryan paused at the door, unsure of what to do. If it was Sandy he didn't want to disturb him, and if it was Seth maybe Seth wanted to be alone, too. He put an ear to the door to listen, hoping to discover if he should knock or if he should creep away.

He thought for a moment he was going deaf because he couldn't understand the words he was hearing. Then he realized that it wasn't words…it was moaning. The thought flew through his mind that someone was hurt and his hand was on the knob and turning before he realized what kind of moaning it was.

He stilled his hand and started to twist the knob back as softly as he could when he heard Seth's voice. Instinctively he leaned closer to the door because it sounded like Seth was rambling, so maybe it was the bad moaning.

The incident with Trey had reminded him of the foolishness of charging into a situation unprepared and so he waited to hear confirmation of Seth's predicament. Not that Seth would be pleased to discover him out here, listening for confirmation that he was not moaning out of pleasure but out of pain. Ryan almost laughed at the thought of Seth's face, where he to open the door. But he shook his head and focused again, anxious to discover if he could go back to bed.

Weird that he's listening to Chicago, if he isn't in any pain, Ryan thought. The sound of Seth's babbling started to calm Ryan, as it usually did. His eyes closed and he leaned his head against the door. When the song abruptly stopped he straightened up, but then the music came back on and he frowned as he recognized that it was the same song. Seth had simply started it over.

What on earth was he doing in there?

Ryan listened to the words of the song. It was about the guy, the one who isn't Peter Cetera, he thought to himself, and how he longs for this person that he can't have, once did, something like that. Anyway it was about longing, and seeing that person every time you close your eyes.

This was a weird song, especially for Seth to choose. He tuned into Seth's voice for a minute.

"Ah, you're a cruel one, Jason Scheff, yes you are."

Seth knows the name of the singer? Ryan mused. I never would have guessed that.

"You know it has to be this song, don't you? I know you're mocking me, laughing at the absurdity of it all. Oh I know it, you know it, and we all know it. But I can't help it. Ok, where are we? Mm-hmm, sure, we can go from the beach to the car, and the wind blowing through your hair? Totally hot, I can admit it…oh, the way that you'd taste, sweet Jesus, Moses and Abraham, yes, I want to taste you, yes, yes, yes.."

Ryan shuffled back into the kitchen biting back a yawn. He shouldn't have been surprised, really. Seth was the only person who could possibly babble his way to an orgasm. He got himself some more water and stood at the fridge, drinking it.

When he was done he rinsed his glass and turned around and walked back to the kitchen door, hand stopping on the knob as his sleep-addled brain finally awoke enough to fully contemplate what he had just heard.

"…the way that you'd taste," Seth had said. You'd…as in…you would. As in…someone he hasn't tasted. Huh.

Then the rest of the words of the song replayed themselves in his mind and he took a step backwards and looked over in the direction of the door.

And all he could think was--

Seth was in there thinking about someone with blonde hair…

Finis