Disclaimer: I don't own FE and whatever. Ephraim is a pimpin' kickass lord.

UNIVERSITY OF ETRURIA

Chapter 4: Pre-Prom Night High Jinks

Eliwood's and Ephraim's place:

"Dude," Ephraim said.

"Duuuuuude," Innes said, nodding.

"Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude," Eliwood said, nodding.

"Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude," Hector said, nodding.

All four were getting rather high on some joints. After school that day, Joshua had given them some marijuana for them to try. So, since Eirika won't be coming home that day as she'll be staying over at Tana's and Innes's, the four boys all went to Eli's for a good smoke.

"Like, fingers, man," Eliwood said, holding up his hands in front of him. "I never realized they were, like, so huge and visible..."

"I know what you mean man," Ephraim agreed. "But dude, look at all the colors! It's like a 70's disco here, man!"

"DUUUUUUUUDE," all four of them said, sighing, and sank deeper into Ephraim's couch.

Tana's and Innes's place:

"...I don't believe this," Tana complained, "ARGH! I'M SHORT ON GOOD CLOTHES FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE!" She threw up her hands, frustrated that she couldn't find a good dress for the prom, which was in 2 days, right after the weekend is over. She chucked another dress which she was holding, a rather revealing black gown, into a rather large pile of clothes behind her. Her friends Eirika, Lyn, and Karla just sat on her bed looking speechless.

"Why not that one? I bet my brother would go gaga over you if you wore that..." Eirika asked the other girl.

"..." Tana was speechless, and she blushed. However, she quickly recovered by saying, "Shut up."

To The Bowling Alley:

On Sakura street, Guy, Heath, Joshua, Karel, and Wil were walking towards the new bowling and billiards center: The Bowling Alley. The five decided to go there since there was nothing else to do (their feet hurt too much from all that DDR), and because they were really bored. Luckily, the place was only five blocks away from Karel's and Guy's house on Elm Street, so it wasn't too painful for them.

Heath was calling Priscilla again; however, he had no luck whatsoever. Apparently she was busy. Doing what, he didn't know. He was then surprised when Wil slapped him on the back.

"So who's the lucky girl?" Wil asked the wild haired youth with a large grin on his face.

"...None of your business," Heath replied, "Say, who're you taking to the prom?"

"Well, um...Actually, I was just going to go screw around and probably get someone who doesn't have a date to dance with me," Wil said, rubbing the back of his head. "I'm not really the one who thinks things through for anything that happens in more than a day. However, my sights are locked on...hm...Fiora."

"Suuure. And if it's Fiora you're targeting, you don't have a chance," Heath said while shaking his head with a small smile on his face.

"Dude," Joshua said as he stopped everyone. "Did...did Heath just...smile?"

"Dude," Wil replied, "dear Elimine, you're right!"

"...Wanna continue walking now?" Karel asked the others, as he was somehow already half a block away from them.

As Guy, Wil, Joshua, and Heath caught up to Karel, Wil asked the older Sacaean, "So how was your prom, Karel?"

"Ahh...Good times, man, good times. Had the hangovers of all hangovers, the greatest love-making session of all love-making sessions, best dance of all dances, you get the idea," Karel said, smiling with watery eyes as he was fondly going through his memories of his prom not too long ago. "The best thing about it was that right after I woke up the next day, I found myself on my bed with two really hot chicks who I didn't even know. And later they told me that they were my secret admirers. I was drunk, too, so I don't even know how I remembered that the sex was good."

Eli's place:

RIIING!

"Whoa dude, there's like, something in my ears," Hector said in a very relaxed voice.

"Dude, I think it's the phone," Ephraim commented. "Anyone wanna get it?"

"No way dude," Innes replied, "this is too good to be interrupted."

"What are you talking about?"

"I didn't know that your sister is soooo hot..."

"You bastard...I'd kill you right now, but I'm too stoned to move, dude..."

"I know...yeah, shake it!"

Eliwood stood up and walked veeerry slowly towards the telephone in fear of bumping into furniture in his stoned state. As he reached the table the telephone was on, he realized that there were three phones in front of him and that the sound was coming from behind him. So he turned around because he thought that his eyes were playing a trick on him. However, he saw no phones, so he turned around again towards the...four phones? Eliwood mumbled, "Eenie, meenie, miny, moe..." and attempted to grab one. He was successful, but the only problem was to press the call button.

Eliwood felt around the surface of the phone and finally managed to locate the call button.

"Yo, Eliwood here. Wassup?" he said into the phone.

"Eliwood, it's Ninian. Are you all right? You sound...weird," a girl's voice said from the phone.

"Oh yeah, yeah, I'm okay," Eliwood said as he snapped back to reality at hearing Ninian's voice. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to ask...um..." Ninian hesitated. On the other side Eliwood could faintly make out Nils and Myrrh saying something like 'Do it.' However, in his state of high-ness, it was almost impossible to be certain. "Um..." Ninian stammered, "Do you...do you have a date for prom night yet?"

"Oh! Uh...no. You wanna go with me?"

"Yeah! Really?"

"Yeah! Great! See you at 6 on Monday!" Eliwood said, "See ya then!" And he hung up the phone.

On the other side, Ninian was smiling broadly. However, that smile soon turned to a look of rage when Nils and Myrrh started harassing her about the call. And soon, we can find Nils and Myrrh outside, apologizing to Ninian profusely and banging the front door, begging the older girl to let them in. However, they were laughing their butts off while doing so, and therefore, didn't get inside until a half hour later.

The Bowling Alley:

"...That's not cool," Wil complained. This is the fifth time he made a gutter ball. Usually, he's very good at bowling, but this time, things aren't going to well. He couldn't concentrate, and his judgment of the power needed and shot angle was very bad. "What's wrong with me..." he muttered to himself.

"Probably...because your Rebecca sense is tingling?" Guy piped up.

"Shut up."

"Well, she and her friends have just arrived...and are signing up. Looks like they're coming towards us, too."

"...Rebecca sense?" Karel asked Heath.

"It's something that Wil has. See that green haired girl with the bandana? That's Rebecca. We all think that Wil has a crush on her, and whenever she's around, he's all klutzy like he is now," Heath explained. "But poor guy's got no chance. I've heard from Farina, she's the blue haired one, that Rebecca likes Raymond, someone else who's in Reglay with her sister right now for vacation."

"Wait, that's Dan's sister..." Karel muttered.

"You know Dan?"

"Dude, he's my roommate! He has pictures of her and her friends all over his side of the room. And that blue haired girl's in most of them too," Karel remembered. "She's...Farina, right? Well, it looks like I've got something to piss him off with when I get back to the dorms."

"Hi guys!" Rebecca cheerily greeted the boys. She was with Farina, Farina's older sister Fiora, Amelia, and another girl the boys didn't know. "Hi Wil!" Rebecca called as Wil tried to throw another ball. Upon hearing her voice, Wil stopped his throw, making the ball somehow slip off his fingers and land on his toes.

"Hi...Rebecca," Wil greeted her back as he tried to keep his cool. When Rebecca turned to talk to her friends, he began massaging his toes.

For the rest of the game, Wil did worse and worse. He found himself looking over the next alley to stare at Rebecca (surprise, surprise) and the unknown girl, as well (to his surprise). Karel poked Wil when he was staring at the girls and the brunette jumped and yelped. However, after that, Wil resumed his previous activity.

Rebecca was wearing her old light green bandana that Dan gave her when she was little as a birthday present; when Wil moved into the house beside hers 10 years ago, he never saw her without it. However, it still looked brand new, except for a few tears here and there. Wil smiled when he saw that she wearing the brown leather jacket he gave her for her most recent birthday. Rebecca also wore a bracelet on her right hand and a watch on her left, and both are coated with gold. His sharp eyes noted the finely carved patterns on the watch that indicate it as a 'Latona' brand watch. Under the jacket, she wore a pink tank top and normal jeans, as well as a pair of black boots.

The unknown girl is apparently a Goth, basically a person who dresses with clothes that resemble old Grado druid clothing; it was very obvious by her style of clothing and her pale skinned face, as well as the accessories she had. Her clothes are, first of all, all colored black. She wore a jacket with flower patterned sleves; under those sleeves, Wil could make out a bracelet with a skull on it as well as rings on each of her fingers on her right hand. She wore a short black skirt and a pair of stockings, frilled at the top, as well as a pair of black leather boots with high heels. She wrapped a black strip of silk cloth around her neck; it was tied at the back of her neck, and she attached a cross on the side where the front of her neck is. She had long and rather frilly black hair, which was braided by a red strip of cloth to make a ponytail. However, her most distinguishing features were her pair of yellow eyes, which looked like they glowed and got Wil's attention.

"...Wil? Wiiiillll...WIL!" Guy called to the brunette, but since he didn't respond, the green haired Sacaean yelled into Wil's ear.

"GWAH! Yeah! Okay! What?" Wil yelped and jumped out of his chair.

"Your turn, man."

"Oh...okay..."

"Ten bucks says it's another gutter ball," Joshua whispered to Heath in the background.

"You're on," Heath replied.

After they were finished, Heath was fifty dollars poorer than he was when he arrived, and Joshua was fifty dollars richer. Poor Wil was looking dead tired and somewhat traumatized.

"Well, go ask her now, dude," Guy slapped the brunette on the back and walked with him towards the girls.

"Uh...Er...Reb...Rebecca?" Wil slowly said her name. Rebecca turned towards him and smiled.

"What's up, Wil?" she replied.

"Um...I just want to ask...will you go to the prom with me?"

There was an awkward silence after he asked that question. None of the girls, not even Amelia, said anything. Guy and Wil were waiting in anticipation for her positive reply, and Joshua was fiddling the five ten dollar bills he had in his pockets.

"Um...I'm sorry, Wil, Raymond already asked me, so I can't," Rebecca told the brunette.

"Oh...Um...It's all right then," Wil replied, looking very disappointed. "Well, see ya."

"Fork it over," Joshua said, holding his hand out to Heath. In the end, he was a hundred bucks richer and Heath was poorer by the same amount. "Lady Luck is with me today for once..."

Reglay:

"Thank you for having us here for these few days, Mr. Pent," Priscilla said to the silver haired governor of Etruria while giving a bow.

"It was my pleasure," Pent lied. Erk's friends raised hell in his household for the last 4 days. And they're going to return in a week's time for the first half of the summer, too.

The incident with Lute left Serra, Erk, and Lute herself very quiet, and therefore, fortunately for Pent, didn't cause any trouble. Lucius and Raymond, however, screwed around the neighborhood, causing ruckuses in the local stores. Well, it was mostly Raymond; while Lucius was trying to keep his companion out of trouble, it apparently didn't do any good. Priscilla was on the phone most of the time, and it was a sort of a double edged sword for Pent. While she was on, the telemarketers couldn't call him, and neither could any government related people. On the other hand, he couldn't call his friends and the telephone bill would be significantly larger that it usually would be.

After Erk and his friends got on the plane to get back to their school for the prom, Pent went home and danced like it was the 70's in his happiness.

The Bowling Alley:

"Hey, cheer up, Wil, you'll find another date," Joshua said, trying to lift his friend's spirits up. However, he's not doing very well, and neither are the other three boys with him. "Come on, suck it up. This happens all the time, and people get over little crushes like this."

"LITTLE CRUSH?" Wil said angrily, turning his face towards the redhead.

"Um...NO! Nonononono, nope not at all...I'll shut up now," Joshua said meekly and hid behind guy; Wil's face was one of homicidal rage and was apparently fearsome enough to scare Joshua.

"Uh, guys? That Goth chick is coming here," Guy said to the others. "Wait, she's leaving again...nope, she's coming here, nope, she's returning to her friends...What's up with her?"

"Whatever. Let's just go back home and eat. I'm starving," Karel suggested.

"Oh, that's right, we didn't eat breakfast today..." Guy commented. "What would you guys like?"

"Pizza?" Joshua suggested.

"Pizza sounds good," Heath agreed.

"With a little side dish of BLOOD," Karel muttered. 'Damn it, not again...' he thought.

The day of the Prom, Ninian's house:

Ding-Dong!

Ninian bolted down the stairs to the front door, and almost slipped because she wasn't used to wearing high heels. Why was she wearing high heels? Well, it's prom night, and her date is none other than Eliwood, the captain of the soccer team himself. When she reached the door, she took a few deep breaths, and finally opened it to find Eliwood outside with a bouquet of Ilian white roses.

"Um...hi," Eliwood greeted her, and handed her the flowers. "Uh, I heard from your friends that you liked these, so, um, yeah..." Eliwood is no romantic talker; he prefers to let his actions speak instead of his mouth. Subtlety has never been something he had, thus the bouquet of flowers.

"Uh, come in, come in, please," Ninian offered. Eliwood entered and took off his loafers and left them on the doormat.

"Thank you."

"Um...I'll just be getting some drinks, okay?"

Eliwood walked further inside the house and entered the living room. Ninian's parents are apparently feng shui freaks; everything in the room was placed to make it look so. The only thing that was out of place was the TV. Eliwood went to sit on the couch and relaxed to wait for Ninian.

"ELI!" a boy's voice yelled happily as Eliwood was jumped by Nils from behind.

"GAH! Oh, hi Nils," Eliwood said, who was panting to recover from the shock. However, as he did, he put his hand down to rest it on the armrest of the couch. He found something very wet and squishy. Eliwood looked at it, and screamed in disgust like a little girl. "GAH!"

"Heeeeyyy, I've been looking for that," Nils told Eliwood, smiling as he said, "Thanks dude!"

"Why...is there...a condom...ON THE COUCH?"

"Me and Myrrh..."Nils began, but someone jumped out and interrupted.

"AHHA! CAUGHT YOU!" an old man with a golden left eye yelled as he jumped out of the kitchen and pointed at Nils. "Think you can deceive your old man, eh? Well, think again! For your punishment, Nils, go do the dishes! I'll think up the rest later..."

"Fuck you, dad," Nils said, crossing his arms.

"WHAT?"

"I said fuck you, dad!"

"Somebody is gonna get hurt reeeeeeaaaal bad. IM NOT GONNA SAY WHO. But I think you know him veeery welll..." the old man said; his tone was so that Eliwood was shaking his knees at the way he said it, yet Nils just shrugged it off as he went up to his room. Eliwood jumped when the old man greeted him. "Sooo...Who the hell are you?"

"Oh! Hello sir, I'm Eliwood, Ninian's date for the prom. You must be Mr. Nergal, correct?" Eliwood greeted the old man, extending his hand out slowly in fear for the old man to shake it.

"Ah! Dear Eli! Pleasure to meet you, boy! Have a seat, Ninian'll be down in a second, she's just making some drinks!"

"Sir?"

"Yes?"

"What's with the gold eye?"

"That's another story for another time..." Nergal said, looking evilly at Eliwood with great evil magnitude that the poor redhead's knees were almost shaking loud enough for Nergal to hear.

'My date's family is dysfunctional. Yay me...' Eliwood thought.

At school:

"Ehhh...What's taking Lyn so long to show up?" Hector complained. Lyn was his date, and he's waiting at the school's front gates with Joshua, Wil, and Guy. "Geez, I should've gone to pick her up from Innes's place..."

"At least you got a date, dude, we're dateless," Wil complained, "Raven got to Rebecca first, Joshua's...Joshua, and Guy's too shy to ask anyone at all! This blows, big time!"

"Hey, I asked Marissa, but she said she's gone to do something back home in Jehanna..." Joshua told the others, but then stared with his mouth agape at something.

"Dude, what is it? You look spooked," Guy commented.

"I think I see angels..."

NEXT CHAPTER: THE BIG NIGHT

Eliwood: I DON'T KNOW HOW TO...BLARGH!

Guy: Dude, how hard is it to spin upright on your head 2160 degrees and then landing perfectly on your feet? I mean, look at me! It's so simple!

Eliwood: I didn't have 10 years of breakdancing experience under my belt...BARF.

Next NEXT Chapter: GradoTrip

A bodyguard's day:

Seth: Oh my God! You killed Marcus!

Dozla: You Bastard!

A bodyguard's night:

Oswin: Oh my God! You killed Marcus!

Rennac: You Bastard!

Elsewhere:

Ursula: Oh my God! You killed Marcus!

Jaffar: ... (You Bastard!...Wait a minute, HE STOLE OUR KILL! F'CKIN CAMPER!)

Sonia: Jaffar! Watch your language!

Elsewhere:

Ephraim: Dude, I can't believe you made out with your own sister!

Innes: You're one to talk!

Grado Keep:

Ike: Aiiyyaaaaaaaaa!

Lyon: Fobs are so fun to tease...

NOW R&R DAMMIT!