Dun Dun Dun…

This is NOT the last chapter. I decided, the next chapter is the last chapter, because I won't be having an epilogue or anything, and I sort of owe it to you guys.

So yeah, let me repeat…

THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER.

And, it certainly isn't my best, but well, it gets the information across.

OOO

1 year, 5 months, 3 weeks, 4 days, 8 hour, 45 minutes, and 2 seconds later

"GET OUT!" The door to Hermione's house swung open with a loud crashing BANG and a body was seen flying through the air, landing on the driveway with an even louder and very painful BANG.

"But… Hermione…"

"No! Get out! OUT! OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU IN MY HOUSE AGAIN!"

"Hermione… listen! I can explain."

"NO! YOU CAN'T! TRUTHFULLY, YOU SUCK AT EXPLAINING! GET OUT!"

As soon as Hermione screamed those words, a figure of a disheveled girl came running and whimpering out of the door and into the sunset.

"Jasmine! No! Come back!" The man on the driveway called out to the sprinting girl.

"Jasmine! Come back!" Hermione mimicked. "Oh, get a LIFE! AND GET A ROOM! JUST NOT UNDER MY ROOF!" Hermione yelled, shutting the door firmly.

The man outside was John Smith, former roommate of Hermione Granger. He lay there, rubbing his back and staring helplessly at the door.

It opened once more. He smiled.

"Ah, Hermione. Love, let me explain- OOF!" He fell back once more, having a large baggage fall upon him.

"Don't set another TOE in this house AGAIN!"

"Aw, babe! Let me explain!"

"No! Don't 'Aw, babe' me, I'm not one of your dirty whores! Let me tell you now that you're not my roommate anymore! I HATE it when you call me those names. I HATE it when you leave your tie lying around because you think it's sexy. I ABSOLUTELY hate having you bring your prostitutes inside and banging on them like you haven't been laid in years. I HATE your 'cute' little envelopes you leave your money in. And you know what I hate most? I HATE YOUR SPECIAL CHOCOLATE AND CHEESE OMELETTES! THEY'RE DISGUSTING, MORTIFYING, ANY WORD THAT DESCRIBES POO!"

John gasped. "Oh, no you DIDN'T!"

"Oh, yes I did! So long, SUCKER!" Hermione spat, slamming the door shut once and for all.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"OUT! THIS IS RIDICULOUS! HOW THICK ARE YOU? HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU? I FEED YOU, CLOTHE YOU, GIVE YOU A PLACE TO STAY, AND YOU REPAY ME BY DOING THIS? DRACO MALFOY! NEVER SET A FOOT IN MY PROPERTY AGAIN!" A woman screamed rather shrilly as she chased Draco and a new sex partner down the garden path.

"Mrs. Zabini! Please!"

"I've had ENOUGH OF YOU, BOY! SERIOUSLY! I DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT MY BLAISE HAD TO GO THROUGH! YOU BETTER HAVE NOT TAKEN HIM UP TO YOUR HABITS! HE BETTER BE A VIRGIN, OR I'LL SKIN YOU!"

"Please, Mrs. Zabini. Blaise started having sex long before I even knew about it."

"NONESENSE! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! TAKE YOUR LITTLE GIRL WITH YOU TOO!"

"Aw, come on, princess. I'll do the dishes for a month?"

"GET OUT!"

Draco looked sadly at the pitiful girl next to him. "Sweetheart, I'm sorry. You go ahead. I don't know if I'll make it alive. Go on! I'll see you again sometime, babe." Draco whispered, pushing her out the gate as he stopped, turned around to face the raging Mrs. Zabini and smiled.

"Let's talk this out, Mrs. Zabini."

"We've talked this out MANY TIMES, Malfoy. It still hasn't triggered, though, HAS IT?"

"Oh, sure it has. It's just you know… when you're a man in his peak years… when you've gotta… you just gotta…"

Mrs. Zabini spat at him. "NOW, YOU ARE CALLING ME OLD?"

"WHAT? No! Oh, no ma'am, no! You're young enough to be dear Blaise's sister!"

"Now, YOU ARE CALLING ME A SLUT?"

"WHAT? NO! Oh, jesus, where do you women get these? Us men, we never mean to say anything! Gee! Blaise, help me take your mother back inside." Draco called out to the window right above them. Blaise's head popped out.

"Sorry mate. You blew me off. You down right deserved it, you bastard."

Draco stared gaping at the dark man above him. "What the hell? What do you mean? You're letting me go?"

Blaise shrugged. "Come back in another year or two. Tell me where your new home is, so I can get all your stuff… well, let's say personally delivered to you? How's that sound?"

"WHAT? ZABINI! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! YOU EVIL GIT! YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE ME HOMELESS AGAIN?"

"You blew it, man. You really did."

"FUCK YOU! GIVE ME MY STUFF!"

Blaise arched an eyebrow. "As you wish, princess." He said, as a pile of clothing and bags came flying from above. Mrs. Zabini looked triumphantly at Draco.

"What will I ever do without you Blaise," she said, never breaking apart her glare at Draco.

"Love ya, mom."

"Love ya too, son."

Draco muttered a string of curses as he packed all his belongings into one large suitcase.

"I don't need ANY of you! I'm leaving!"

"Ta then!" Mrs. Zabini called out in a mocking sort.

"See ya, mate!"

Draco headed off into the distance, brown suitcase rolling happily behind him.

He didn't know how he was going to and where he was heading off to. He had just enough money to last him a few days at the Leaky Cauldron, but he was going to need a place to stay soon.

The idea of Hermione quickly crossed his mind… and then left it.

'Maybe I'll give her a nice visit?"

"I'm a Malfoy."

Hermione wiped a tear from her eye and took one last look into his gray steel eyes.

"You sure are."

She said, tearing away and running out into the rain.

Draco shook his head. There was no way she'd let him in.

Of course. He'd go there, tired and helpless. "Hi Hermione."

"Oh! Oh my gosh! Draco! Hi there! What's this? You got kicked out again? Oh, let me help you with your stuff. You can come crash in my place. Oh, stay forever! I'll never hurt you or anything! Hell, I'll even marry you because I forgive you and I still love you."

Draco laughed. Funny things, that. She'd probably take out her stun gun, after beating his pulp out, and then blind him with pepper spray and then gouge his eyes out and cut him into little tiny pieces and poo on him.

CRASH!

"What the hell…" Draco said dazedly, rubbing his head and getting up from the ground.

"I am so sorry." A man said, helping Draco up.

"Gee, watch where you're going, will you?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sor- you can't be Draco Malfoy?" the man asked.

"I am."

"Why, blimey! It's Draco Malfoy!"

"I believe we've cleared that up about 2 seconds ago."

"I'm John Smith, from the department of criminal law and justice."

"Why, pleasure to meet you, sir." Draco said rather moodily.

"I see you've got yourself a suitcase?"

"Yes. You must not be blind, then. Sorry, I had no idea, assuming you crashing into me just so randomly."

John Smith ignored all his depressing and cynical comments. "I've been kicked out too."

Draco looked up with hope and a light in his eye.

"You TOO?"

"Yes."

"Oh, what a depressing day. Come on, John. Let's go take a drink for this day. We can't let any lousy roommate or someone to just kick us on our asses and tell us what to do! Let's celebrate this day! When we, the abandoned, yet handsome and dashing men were freed from the chains of hell! I'll pay!"

"Why, certainly, sir!"

And arm in arm, the two abandoned men walked off into the sunset…

OOO

John Smith.

Oh, what a man he was.

Age: 27

Real age: 36

Occupation: Department of criminal law and justice

Woman status: single, and has been single since he was 24... real age-wise.

Hermione paced around the living room, occasionally giving a small kick into the carpet.

Had she been too cruel? Should she have given him a second chance?

"No."

She had warned him many many times ever since she first caught him at it with a whore from the bar.

He was actually a nice fella. He didn't cook, or cook very well, but he cleaned the house frequently, being the neat freak he was, and never really annoyed her. They lived a peaceful, quiet lifestyle. But of course, he never listened to her.

She had merely only tried to help him, and shape up his lifestyle. Maybe he WASN'T very appealing and manly, but sleeping with prostitutes didn't result any better. She had given him many chances, four, to be exact, and he probably slept with them even more when she didn't catch him. Right under her roof, in her house, in her rooms…

Hermione kicked on the table leg, only to result in the cover flapping open and her toe throbbing.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow."

Hermione began to cover the lid of the desk when a auburn book caught her eye.

Famous Wizard Cases in the last 2000 years

By John Smith

Hermione slapped her face with her hand.

"Shit!" She had totally forgotten about John's book. He had been working on the book for years now. It was only about a quarter done when he first moved in with her, and he often asked her for revising.

Now, she had a dilemma.

She could leave the book, be cruel, and never give it back

Or,

She could leave the book, wait for him to come back, and then give it back, risking his poor, dirty body lingering around her front lawn until he slowly disintegrated

Or,

She could just find him and give it back, and leave abruptly.

"Men."

Hermione flipped out her cellular phone. Most members of the ministry owned one, especially for emergencies.

She looked through her contacts list and found "Roommate Smith"

Dialing call, she waited.

Briiiing

Briiiing

Brii-

"Hellllllllo?"

"John? It's Hermione. Where are you?"

"Darrrrrrrrrling! It's youuu! Hab you cooome to ta-i-ke mee baaaack?"

"No. Are you drunk?"

"NOooooooooo."

"John, just tell me where you are."

"I'm here! Atttt… Lovely… lovely… Rosmerta's… lovely… lovely… lovely…"

"Just wait, okay?"

Hermione grabbed all his papers and his copy inside her purse and apparated to Three Broomsticks. It wasn't very hard to find her former roommate. He and another man were practically the only ones left.

"John. Here are your papers and your book. Don't lose-"

Hermione stopped dead in her tracks.

A very drunk and sheepish Draco gazed at her.

"Hullo, Her-my-knee"

Draco greeted, before passing out cold on the cold stone floor.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Hey guys! I know this is a pretty short chapter, and not as well written. That, I know. Whenever I do any of these like… "2 years later" things, it always starts off pretty cheesy because I need to let everyone know what's happened during the two years without being boring and stuff.

So yeah…

But you know… a lot of stuff happened… so yeah.

Hopefully though, the next (and last) chapter will be better!

Please review! Even if you didn't even finish reading this chapter because it bored you to death.

Ta ta- Youngwriter 56