A/N: This is my first XM:Evo story here on It's a ROMY, with a hint of KURTTY thrown in for humor. I have another one on the works; a Kurtty set during World War II (as if there aren't enough of those). I had part of it written, but sadly, my hard drive was wiped when my sister decided to do a little "updating" on our shared computer. So if that ever reforms in my head, I'll type it up and post it on here. The idea from this story stemmed from the pants that Kitty buys for Rogue. They do exist; in fact, I bought them, and I'm wearing them as I type this. When I saw them, I immediately thought of Remy, and the idea for this story popped into my head. I probably butchered the accents, but when I read it, it sounds right in my head, so that's all I really care about.

Disclaimer: Pfft, yeah, right...

Miserable

"What…are…those?"

Kitty had just pulled a pair of pants out of an Old Navy bag and thrown them on Rogue's bed. They were white, with diamonds, spades, hearts and clubs arranged in a pattern all over them.

"They're pajama bottoms."

"Ah see that. But why'd ya buy 'em for meh?"

"I got them because they, like, reminded me of the Gambit."

"So?"

Kitty looked at Rogue pointedly. "I know why you're, like, so miserable, Rogue."

"That wasn't random at all…" Rogue muttered.

"Rogue…"

"Oh, all right, Ah'll bite. Why am Ah so miserable?"

"Well, first off, you're miserable because you can't touch anyone. You feel, like, left out. Secondly, Remy—who is a great guy, even though his eyes are creepy"—

"Hey, ya shouldn't say that about him," Rogue interjected. "He can't help how he looks. It's like sayin' Kurt's fur is creepy."

Kitty thought for a moment, "Okay, I guess you're right. Besides, I definitely don't think Kurt's fur is creepy…" Kitty smiled devilishly and winked at Rogue.

"Eewww! Bad mental picture! That's mah brother you're molestin', Kitty!"

"Is it still molestation if it's willing?" Kitty asked with a laugh.

Rogue shuddered. "Just get on with your little 'analysis'." She put the last word in finger quotes.

"Oh, yeah! So secondly, you're miserable because Remy is, like, totally devoted to you. And you like him too. I think."

"Shows how much you know," Rogue muttered.

"But since you can't touch anyone without, like, zapping them, you can't have a relationship with him," Kitty continued as if she hadn't heard Rogue. "So you're stewing in your own self-pity, and you're miserable."

"Gawd, Kitty, do ya seriously think Ah'm miserable because Ah can't have a relationship with that Swamp Rat?" She didn't want to admit just how right Kitty had been.

"Like, duh. What have I just been explaining?"

"What makes you even think he likes meh, anyway?"

"Rogue, have you, like, forgotten that I'm taking French I this year? I know what he means when he calls you all those French pet names. Belle and chère and all that"

"It's just flirtin'," Rogue said half-heartedly, as if she herself didn't even believe it. "It don't mean anythin'."

"I think it does, Rogue. Just, like, think on it, okay?" Kitty started putting away the clothes from her shopping excursion. Suddenly, she pulled a small box out of one of her bags. "Oh, yeah! I almost forgot. Here." She tossed the box to Rogue.

"What's this?"

"I don't know. Dr. McCoy asked me to give it to you. He, like, said that the Professor and he wanted you to have them."

"Them?" Rogue opened the box to see a pair of rather large stud earrings. They looked kind of like multi-colored crystals, and they seemed to glow with an inner light. "They're not exactly mah ideal gift," Rogue concluded. But, touched by the Professor and Dr. McCoy's generosity, she took out her own silver hoops and put them in. As soon as the cool metal touched her earlobe, she felt a slight but noticeable tingling throughout her body. She shivered, and Kitty saw.

"What's wrong, Rogue?"

"Ah can feel a tinglin'. Maybe Ah'm allergic to the metal or somethin'."

"Maybe you should, like, go ask Dr. McCoy about it," Kitty suggested.

"Yeah, Ah think Ah will." Rogue walked out of her and Kitty's room and went downstairs to Dr. McCoy's lab. She knocked on the door, and it opened automatically. The first person she saw upon entering wasn't Dr. McCoy, as she'd expected; it was Remy LeBeau.

"Swamp Rat? What're ya doin' here?" Rogue asked angrily.

"Remy glad t' see y', too, chère," Remy replied, a smug smile on his face and his eyes hidden behind his sunglasses.

"Rogue, is that you?" Hank said, walking into the room. "Good, you're here."

"Doctah, Ah got the earrings from Kitty, but Ah think Ah'm allergic to them. I'm tinglin' all over."

"Really? Well, why don't we run a few tests to check on that?" The Beast replied. He looked at something over Rogue's shoulder and nodded.

Suddenly, a strong hand turned Rogue around by the shoulder, and before Rogue could blink, Remy was kissing her fiercely. With a gasp, Rogue tore herself away from the Cajun. "Oh mah Gawd, Remy, ya idiot!" she cried. She watched him, waiting for him to fall unconscious…and waiting…and waiting… Rogue's eyes widened, and her mouth fell open in astonishment.

"Remy t'ink dat chère was worried 'bout Remy," he teased gently a few moments later, snapping her out of her awe. To Hank, he replied, "She's right. Dere's a tinglin', and Remy don't t'ink it was just from de kiss."

"But…but… what just happened?" She turned to Hank. "Doctah, did he just…"

"Yes, I believe he just kissed you," Beast replied, a paternal smile on his face.

"He just touched meh and Ah didn't absorb him?"

"That about sums it up."

"But…how?"

Hank tapped a few keys on a nearby keyboard, and a picture of Rogue's earrings appeared on a screen. "I believe I have discovered a way to counteract mutant powers. That pair of earrings you're wearing is the prototype model of the Power Negater. When it came time to perform the preliminary tests, I obviously couldn't use any animals; so I discussed it with Charles, and he and I both agreed that you'd be the best subject."

"Why didn't you tell meh first?" Rogue asked.

"We didn't want to get your hopes up, in case it only worked on certain mutants or not at all."

Rogue nodded. "All right, that sounds reasonable. But why'm Ah tinglin' all ovah?"

"The tingling sensation means that the Negater is working. Unfortunately, in your case, it seems to work the same way as your powers, and is transferred through touch." He motioned toward Remy, who was trying and failing to charge up one of his cards. "It should only be temporary, but it's something I'll have to work on."

"So, if anyone touches meh while Ah'm wearin' the earrings, they'll lose their powers for a while?"

"Exactly. So, if you don't mind, I'll take them back and try to get the last few bugs worked out. With any luck, you should have them back by tomorrow afternoon. By then, I should be able to isolate the Negater so that it only works for your DNA, and fix the tingling."

Long before Beast had stopped speaking, a radiant smile had appeared on Rogue's face. Remy looked up from focusing on the ten of clubs, and his breath caught in his throat. "Mon dieu…elle est le plus belle femme dans le monde…" he whispered.

"I heard that, Swamp Rat," Rogue said, though the smile never left her face.

Remy smiled, as well. "Remy would be happy t' help such a jolie fille catch up on everyt'ing she's been missing," he said, winking at her.

Giddy with excitement, Rogue did something she never thought she would do: flirt. "Maybe later, Cajun," she replied, running her hand up Remy's arm. The card in his hand exploded with a sudden pop, scaring both teens.

"Merde!" Remy said, holding up his newly burned hand. "Remy's got t' be mo' careful," he added apologetically, looking up at Rogue.

"Here, I'll help ya," she said in a mock-irritated voice. She couldn't help but grin, though, at the thought of finally getting to remove the gloves that had been a barrier between her and the world for so long.

"Y' know, chère, dere's one t'ing Remy loves 'bout dis whole 'Negater' t'ing."

"And what might that be, Swamp Rat?" Rogue asked affectionately.

"De idea o' seein' y' in a bikini."

Rogue laughed for a moment. Then she took out the earrings, placing them on the table, removed a glove, and slapped Remy with her bare hand.

"Remy?" she said a moment later, her voice carrying a Cajun accent. "Let dis be a lesson t' y'. Ah'm still de same ol' Rogue Ah've always been."

"Lesson learned," Remy replied painfully.

Rogue smirked. Maybe she wouldn't be quite so miserable anymore.

Fin

A/N: Yes, this is the end. I'm not planning on making this any longer than it is. Though if you review, and tell me you want more, I might just be persuaded to write another chapter...if you want more than you know what you have to do!

Oh, and for anyone who's curious, here are the translations of the French:
Belle- beautiful (everyone who's a ROMY fan should know that)
Chère- dear (again, one we should all know)
Mon dieu- My God
Elle est le plus belle femme dans le monde- She's the most beautiful woman in the world
Jolie fille- pretty girl
Merde- Shit