Sorrows of the Past

Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, own Fushigi Yuugi. I'm just borrowing the characters so I can write this fic.

Author's Note: Hey! This is my first fic, so please bear with me. I'm inexperienced. All I know is I love Fushigi Yuugi, and I have a passion for writing, even though I'm not really good at it. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter One

Miaka lifted the pencil and looked at what she accomplished for the past fifteen minutes. At first, she was just doodling on a piece of paper, trying to fight the boredom that she faced on a daily basis in her Physics class. But the squiggling evolved into an unexplainable, indescribable, passionate sketching of an eye of a man.

She stared at the eye she had just made. It was filled with happiness, determination, and hope at the same time. The brow was strong and curved so as to bring out the feeling that can be interpreted in the eye. The mixture of grays, whites, and blacks that formed into an eye on that small piece of paper brought a variety of different emotions to the creator of the drawing.

Miaka wondered how a sketch had such a profound effect on her. She stared at it some more, discovering that in doing so brought her a feeling of happiness and peace. She was so engrossed at what she was doing that she didn't realize that the teacher had just asked her a question. Her seatmate and best friend, Yui Hongo, lightly poked her with the back end of a pencil. Miaka looked up at her best friend. Yui pointed to the teacher with her eyes.

Miaka widened her eyes and very slowly brought them from the face of her best friend to the expectant face of the teacher. Ms. Kikumi's eyes met with hers. "Well, Ms. Yuuki?" Miaka was at a loss for words. She didn't even know the question in the first place. She looked at her best friend and silently begged her to help her. Everyone in the school knows how Ms. Kikumi can be very difficult to deal with once she gets in a bad mood.

Yui saw Miaka looking at her, and swiftly wrote in big letters the answer on a piece of paper. Miaka noticed that all eyes are now on her. She tried to buy some time. "Well, you know… uhm… Ms. Kikumi… it all really depends… I mean…" Miaka stuttered, while making wild gestures with her hands, hoping that Yui would hurry it up already.

Then Miaka noticed the piece of paper that Yui slightly held up just enough for her to read clearly, but just out of the sight of the teacher. Miaka's confidence abruptly rose. "Ms. Kikumi, it's Archimedes' Principle of Buoyancy, which states that an immersed object is buoyed up by a force equal to the weight of the fluid it displaces."

Ms. Kikumi nodded with satisfaction and asked someone else another question. Miaka sighed with relief and slumped down on the chair. Miaka gave a smile and a thumbs-up sign to her best friend, grateful that Yui's one of the smartest people in the school. Yui smiled back and continued on listening while Miaka intently stared again at her creation.

After a few moments, Yui wondered why Miaka isn't as annoying as usual. Usually, during their Physics class, Miaka would send nonsense notes to her, asking her questions about petty things not at all related to their lesson. Yui glanced at her best friend and saw that she was concentrating on a piece of paper. Miaka's hair was in the way, so Yui couldn't really catch sight of what's on that piece of paper. Yui craned her neck, but to no avail. Miaka's flowing russet hair, plus the fact that the piece of paper is small, avoided her from seeing it.

Yui gave up and speculated on what could be on that piece of paper. It might be a note from one of their classmates, so she looked at their classmates, but none seemed to be waiting for her to give the note back. And Miaka had been looking at it for a long time. She mentally crossed out the note theory, since Miaka's not writing anything back to whoever she was passing notes with.

Yui formulated more theories but none seemed to fit. Then she frustrated why the heck she even cares in the first place, since it's just a piece of paper. Her thoughts led to Miaka and her grim past.

Miaka's parents died just one year ago, when she was fifteen years old, leaving her and her older brother, Keisuke, alone. They had been devastated. The shock of losing their parents rocked them to their very core. Keisuke, being the older one, handled it pretty well. Keisuke is now studying in a college in America, having been able to get a scholarship. He works a part-time job to support his basic needs since the inheritance their parents left for them was, he decided, reserved for Miaka's college.

But Yui's boyfriend, Tetsuya, who also happens to be Keisuke's best friend and roommate, tells her that he can sometimes hear Keisuke silently sobbing when he thinks Tetsuya's asleep. Yui helped Miaka in any way just to help her temporarily forget about the death of her beloved parents.

Of course, one year after the death, Miaka has recovered from it, but there are times when she feels sad and depressed just because her parents aren't there for her. Yui's thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of the final bell.

Miaka carefully inserted the paper into her back pocket and stuffed her things into her bag. As soon as she and Yui were out, they headed for the lockers.

"Hey Miaka," Yui asked. "What was in that piece of paper you were staring at?"

Miaka took out the drawing from her pocket and handed it over to Yui. Yui burst into giggles.

"Hey! My drawing's not that bad!" Miaka exclaimed, grabbing the paper from the hands of a giggling Yui. "Actually, I think I drew the eye pretty well!" She stared at it some more, avoiding people in the hallway as they walked.

Yui, finally regaining her composure, explained. "Mia-chan, it's not that I don't like your drawing. It's just that I was expecting something else. You were so engrossed in staring at that drawing that I actually thought it was serious. It's just a drawing," Yui said, holding back her giggles.

"Oh," Miaka said. "I think I'll post it in my locker."

"How can you stare into that thing for such a long time anyway?" Yui asked, grabbing the paper from Miaka's hands.

"Hey! Be careful!" Miaka said. "Don't let it crumple, or rip or anything."

"Wow, we're touchy today, aren't we Miaka?" Yui asked sarcastically, still looking intently at the drawing.

Miaka just shrugged and walked on alongside Yui. A few silent moments later, Miaka grabbed the paper again, surprising Yui. "THAT'S how I can stare at it for a long time," Miaka stated.

Yui smiled, "It's so pretty. It's like you're so peaceful when you stare at it. Can you draw me one just like it?"

Miaka smiled back. "I know! That's why I really like it. But I don't know if I can draw it the same as this but I'll try, OK?"

Yui watched as Miaka posted the eye on the back side of her locker door and they headed straight for the school parking lot, talking about random things on the way. When they reached Yui's blue Toyota Camry, Miaka went to the front seat while Yui took the driver's seat. Once they were inside the car and Yui has started the engine, they do the usual routine: Miaka turns on the radio, while Yui turns on the air-conditioner.

Yui drives Miaka to her cozy home everyday since Miaka didn't have the money to own her own car. She could take the bus but Yui enjoyed driving Miaka home anyway, knowing that she was helping Miaka.

They drove out of the school parking lot, singing to the tune of Kelly Clarkson's Behind These Hazel Eyes. They were part-singing and part-screaming the song. And at times they were also laughing at themselves for their silliness, ignoring the weird glances of the other drivers.

Now I can't breathe

No, I can't sleep

I'm barely hanging on

Here I am once again

I'm torn into pieces

Can't deny it can't pretend

Just thought you were the one

Broken up deep inside

But you won't get to see the tears I cry

Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out

For hating you I blame myself

Seeing you it kills me now

No, I don't cry on the outside

Anymore, anymore

They stopped their singing when they reached a traffic light. Miaka glanced at the right, then widened her eyes. "Yui, look!" Inside the car right beside theirs was a couple, kissing passionately and obviously taking advantage of the time given to them by the stop-light.

They stared in awe. Yui was the first one to look away as she saw the red light being replaced by a green one. A few moments later, Miaka concentrated on the road.

Yui, knowing her best friend was thinking about something, asked her about it. Miaka looked at her. Yui knew she was hesitating. Before Yui could ask again, Miaka whispered, "Nothing. I was just wondering when I'll be able to get to do that."

Yui smiled, "Mia-chan, don't worry about it. OK? The right guy will come when he will come. Love moves in mysterious ways. You know that. Besides, I'm here, am I not?"

Miaka smiled gratefully. She knew that Yui was trying to make her feel better. It was a good thing that she came up with the perfect lie about wondering when she'd have a boyfriend. She felt really guilty, but she didn't want to worry Yui. Miaka missed her parents so much. If only they were still alive… She missed their laughter, their smiles, their wisdom, and their company. She even missed the occasional scolding.

She also missed Keisuke. Even though at times, he can be annoying, she loved him deeply. He is, after all, her only brother. She knew he loved her too. She missed their playful banter and their nonsense fights about little things.

She stared out the window, at the different people, buildings, and trees. They were near Miaka's home now. Miaka noticed that today's ride home wasn't as noisy as usual. To liven the mood a little bit, she turned up the volume.

A few minutes later, she and Yui were singing at the top of their lungs, having the time of their lives. Miaka stopped and lowered down the volume when she saw the neighborhood's local grovery store and asked Yui to just drop her off there.

Yui giggled, knowing Miaka wanted to have a snack. So she did as she was told. Miaka waved goodbye to Yui as she drove away in the opposite direction. Miaka breathed the fresh air of the lush neighborhood.

Her parents had chosen a nice location for their home when they moved here. The neighborhood, called Southside, could be found on the side of a hill bordering the city. The people were friendly, the air was fresh, and the trees grew abundantly. There was a community swimming pool, a grocery store, three affordable restaurants, a community gym, a small library, a mini mall, and the coffee shop.

Miaka sat in one of the benches and gave a sad sigh. She remembered when she and Keisuke would sit there when their mother sent them out to buy some things in the grocery store that she had forgotten to buy or that they had run out of. She and Keisuke would talk about random things. And they would laugh at their jokes and share stories to each other about their teachers and classmates.

Miaka could feel the tears coming, knowing that they would. It was inevitable every time she thought about her broken family. She didn't stop them from coming. Her vision blurred, and her face felt warm as the tears traced paths down her cheeks. She didn't bother wiping them away. All she could think about was her parents and their unfortunate death.

The misery and melancholy that followed and haunted Miaka night and day never ceases. It never stops. Whenever she's alone, she gets depressed, which is why she needs Yui. Because whenever Yui's around, she forgets about her parents. But at night, when she's alone, her heart tears apart because of the loneliness. She knows she can't have Yui every second by her side. Yui has her own life to lead. She has her own goals and aspirations. She has her studies to keep her busy. Miaka would just be a burden to Yui if she was around all the time.

Miaka's sorrows and tears prevented her from noticing the pair of eyes that were carefully watching her.

oOo

Author's Notes:

I hope you liked it. I'm not really good with sad stuff, but I did my best on this one. Please send your reviews. I would really appreciate it. I'd also like some suggestions, 'cause honestly I don't know where this story's going to go. Though I already have the next five chapters in mind.

I don't know what overcame me when I wrote the part about the eye. But I found a good purpose for it. Phew!

Please hold on for the next chapter!

kellygarcia