A Glimpse of Something More
A/N: This story just would not go away until I wrote it, it didn't turn out exactly like I would have hoped and the ending I too rushed but I just had to get it over with. Hope you all enjoy it.
She doesn't sleep well that night, just tosses and turns for hours until she gives up and trudges down the hallway and into the kitchen where she swallows a tiny, white sleeping pill and crawls back into bed.
She hates Christmas and the twinkling icicle lights from her neighbor's balcony that shine perfectly into her bedroom do nothing to change her opinion on the holiday. She hates the cheesy movies with their ridiculous happy endings; she hates eggnog and Christmas carols and Frosty the Snowman. She mostly hates all the bad memories that are brought up during the holidays. There are times when she wishes she could just stay holed up in her house until all the decorations are gone and the holiday is history.
Peyton doesn't realize she's drifted to sleep until someone wakes her by whispering her name. She lives alone and the sound of someone else's voice startles her awake. When she sees a glowing, white figure near the end of her bed she jumps so much she ends up on the floor tangled in a blanket.
The stranger scrambles to her side and tries to help her off the floor. It's the first time that Peyton gets a look at the strangers face and she feels her blood run cold. The strange woman is her mother.
She clutches her pillow tightly to her chest and backs away from her mother until she's trapped in a corner of her room struggling to catch her breath; her mom backs off slightly giving the scared girl some room.
"What's going on?" Peyton chokes out, her mouth has gone dry and she licks furiously at her lips. "Who the hell are you?"
"I'm exactly who you think I am Peyton." The woman's voice is gentle and familiar.
"You're not my mom, you're not Annie Sawyer. There's no way."
"You had a dog named Trouble when you were six, your favorite sandwich when you were five was peanut butter, honey and banana with no crust. You have a scar on your knee from riding your bike without training wheels for the first time. It's me Peyton, I swear to you."
Tears start to trickle down her face as she realizes that the woman standing before her really is her mom. Without saying a word she drops the pillow and rushes into her mother's arms.
She smells exactly as Peyton remembered, like lavender and a hint of vanilla and her loose blonde curls hang delicately at her slender shoulders. Peyton breathes in the familiar scent and mumbles over and over how much she missed her mom.
After a few minutes Annie Sawyer holds her daughter at arms length and smiles at her. Peyton looks into her mother's eyes with sudden realization and wonders why she's there. "Am I dead?" she whispers.
"No, you're not dead." Annie smiles and runs a hand down Peyton's shoulder. "I was sent here to show you how the decisions you've made will affect your future and his."
"Wait, what do you mean his, who and what are you talking about?"
"Just trust me Peyton." Her mother says and then she takes her daughter by the hand and they're both suddenly surrounded by a bright, white light and before Peyton can ask what's happening they're in an apartment that looks familiar and leaves her with an uneasy feeling in her stomach. She realizes that they're in the apartment she used to share with Lucas.
From her position next to her mother in the corner of the bedroom it's an out-of-body experience as she watches herself throwing clothes into a large suitcase as she wipes furiously at the gentle tears that make their way down her red cheeks.
"This was a year ago when I left him." She notices the small Santa figurine on his nightstand. "I left on Christmas Eve."
With a gentle pull, her mother leads her out of the bedroom and into the living room where Lucas sits in an overstuffed chair with a look of utter defeat plastered on his face. It's the first time Peyton sees the damage she caused and it makes her sick as she watches him blink furiously trying to hold back the tears that sting at the backs of his eyes. He can hear her rummaging in the drawers through the thin walls and he closes his eyes.
Before Peyton can say anything she watches herself come from the bedroom lugging the suitcase with her, she looks sadly over at Lucas and tells him she's sorry before turning and walking out of the door. He watches her go before burying his face in his hands. From across the room she can hear a muted sob escape his lips, she'd never seen him cry before and it's unbearable to watch.
"I never knew." She shakes her head sadly. "We were having problems, had been for months. I thought leaving would be the easiest thing for both of us. I didn't know. Can I go home now?"
"Not yet I'm sorry, we have one more stop." With another gentle touch on her wrist the two women are transported in another flash of light to a large living room that is completely unfamiliar to her.
She paces the distance around the room noting the enormous Christmas tree lit up with hundreds of soft white bulbs that is parked directly in front of a window overlooking a quiet street. A framed picture of a young blonde haired boy draws her attention to the perfectly decorated mantle above the fireplace, the boy looks no older than four and he has a giant smile and a familiar expression in his eyes.
As she makes her way towards the other pictures the same boy from the photograph comes barreling into the room gripping a small toy plane in his outstretched arms. He circles unknowingly around a frozen Peyton and then drops to his knees to gaze in wonderment at the decorated tree. She watches Lucas enter the room with a smile big enough to match the boy's.
He looks at least a few years older and she notices a few wrinkles that appear at the corner of his eyes when he smiles, the spiky hair he had as a teen in replaced with a more mature cut and he's wearing a pair of pressed slacks and a tie instead of worn jeans and basketball sneakers.
"Please Will whatever you do, do not get those clothes dirty because I promised your mom I would keep you clean until it's time to go to grandma's house for Christmas dinner and Daddy is trying to stay on Mom's good side, so help me out buddy okay?" Lucas sits in an easy chair near the tree and pulls the small boy onto his lap. "Who's the best dad in the world?"
The boy smiles at the older man and points a tiny finger in Lucas' direction, and Lucas reacts by peppering the boy's face with wet kisses which causes him to squeal.
"Is he mine?" Peyton asks her mother. "Is this my family?"
Her question is answered when a slender, brunette woman saunters into the room and perches herself on an arm of the chair occupied by the two Scott men. "How are my guys?" she asks sweetly.
"We're just trying to keep Will clean here." He leans up and kisses the brunette woman gently on the lips while the young boy covers his eyes.
"Who is she?" Peyton inquires sadly. Her eyes are cast downwards unable to look at the happy family on display in front of her.
"They work together and started dating about a year after the two of you ended. She helped him move on and they married a few months later and had Will" Her mother can see the pain in her downcast eyes and it's hard for her to watch her only daughter in so much pain.
"And what am I doing?"
Annie hesitates before telling her daughter the truth. "You're still alone, living in a small apartment and working at a job that you don't really love anymore."
"Why are they making me see this?" She turned her back to her mom so she couldn't see her brush the tears from her eyes.
"They want you to see what you've thrown away. You and Lucas were supposed to be together, that was always the plan but you being as stubborn as you've always been decided to take her own path and this is where everyone ended up."
"What if I don't want him to be with someone else, what if I want to be with him."
"I'm afraid time is running out for the two of you."
"I want to go home, I need to see him now."
Her mother nods and holds onto her hand for one last time and they are back in her bedroom in a flash. As much as Peyton wants to go find Lucas as quickly as possible she knows that this will be the last time she sees her mother, it's saying goodbye forever, again. The two women stand in silence before Peyton steps forward and wraps her arms tightly around her mom.
"I don't want you to leave, not yet."
"I've shown you what you needed to see, my job is done here. I wish I could stay Peyton, I really do. But just know that I'll always be watching over you and I'm proud of the women you've become no matter what choices you make."
"I love you mom." Peyton grips her tighter.
"I love you too Peyton."
When Peyton opens her eyes her mom is gone and she's back in her bed with the covers pulled tightly around her to protect her from the cold. It takes her a moment to gain her bearings before she realizes what's happened and then she's flying out of bed pulling on a long coat over her pajamas and rushing out of the door. She doesn't remember that her car is in the shop until she's outside and staring at her empty parking space, so she does the only thing she can do. She runs.
He only lives a few miles away and she runs that distance on her early morning jogs, but she's never run in slippers with the temperature dipping dangerously below thirty. She finds it ironic that after all this time she's finally running to him. Her fingers are nearly frozen by the time she reaches his front porch and she knocks furiously at his door. She has no idea what she's going to say when he opens the door but she doesn't get a chance to think it over because the door swings open.
He's bundled up in a thick robe and his hair is pointing in a million different directions. "Peyton, what the hell are you doing here?" He asks with sleep still thick in his voice.
"Something happened to me tonight Lucas, I don't know what it was, a dream maybe but I saw something and it's too crazy to explain but I finally saw what I've known all along. I love you Lucas and I've never stopped." She's breathing hard and her words come out in halted gasps, it doesn't help that she's on the verge of sobbing and tears are streaming down her ice-cold cheeks. She must look like a wreck.
"Peyton…" he begins to trail off but she stops him with a sudden but gentle kiss on the lips, when her hands trail up to his neck he pulls away sharply. "Peyton, stop."
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." She wipes at her lips and steps away.
"No it's not that." He smiles and grabs her hands in his. "Your hands were freezing." He's kissing her before she can say anything. He pulls her inside and they make their way clumsily towards the couch where pushes her over backwards and lies delicately on top of her. She leans up to kiss him but he pulls away.
"Before we go any further there's something I need to say." He props himself up with a hand on either side of her chest and stares down at her. "I never stopped loving you either, but I'm not sure I could handle you leaving again. Just promise me it's for real this time and that you aren't going to leave me again."
"I'm not going anywhere, not this time." She kisses him again quickly. "Are we moving to fast, I mean we haven't seen each other in a year."
"No this isn't fast enough, believe me." He sighs loudly with a big grin on his face.
"I'm sorry for the way I left last time Lucas, I never wanted to hurt you like that."
"It's all in the past now, we're moving forward and not looking back." Lucas brushes the hair from her face and smiles at her. "I love you Peyton."
"I love you too."
"Hey this dream you had, was there a blonde woman and a kid named Will in it?" He asks suddenly.
"How did you know?"
"Because I had the same exact dream tonight."