A.N – Sorry it took so long for me to update this. Life kind of got in the way a little. Anyway hope you remember it.

After not finding his wife in any of the places CJ said she would be Josh headed home. Opening the door to their home he could hear the primal scream coming from the living room. A trail of destruction led him to where his wife was throwing things around. Her face was beet red, tears streamed from her eyes and her arms flailed as she threw the pillow she had in her hand, at the wall. It was only then did she spot her husband standing in the doorway. "Why!" She cried at him. "Why us?"

He rushed to her side, taking her into his arms as they fell to the floor. "I don't know sweetheart, I just don't know." He tried to explain, but he, too was in the dark as to why it had happened.

"Why do they get to be happy and we don't?" Tears coursed down her cheeks as they rocked each other.

"We will get the chance darling, don't give up." He told her, softly kissing her head as his tears dripped into her hair. He managed to get her up as they moved to the sofa. His back could take no more of the floor. She lay down on the sofa, her head in his lap. Softly he stroked her hair, soothing her into a much-needed nap. He knew she hadn't been sleeping at night, much like himself. She had been punishing herself in a way he didn't know how to rectify.

He too had slipped into a sleep, which he hadn't realised until he heard the knock at the front door. Managing to slip from his wife's grasp, she snuggled down on the sofa, letting her arm fall from the side. Walking to the front door he swiped his hand across his face. Before opening the door he took a quick look in the mirror that graced the coat rack. He looked terrible. And didn't feel much better once he had opened the door, for on the other side he found Sam standing. He didn't open the door the whole way because he didn't feel up to talking to Sam. "Hey." He managed to say.

Sam glanced over Josh's shoulder and saw the trail of destruction and could only guess what had happened. "Hey, I was going to ask how you were but I don't have to ask. Josh I want to apologise to you and Donna for what happened this morning." Sam sounded so apologetic.

"Sam you weren't to know what happened. Don't worry about it." Josh said half-heartedly. "Honestly, we will get over it, it may take time, but we will get there."

"I know, can I apologise to Donna as well? I'd really like to see her." Sam asked, with a forlorn look in his eyes.

"She's sleeping right now Sam. And I don't want to wake her. We've been through too much and she hasn't been sleeping." Josh said. He just wanted to close the door on Sam and curl back up beside his wife.

"Okay, can you tell her I came by and I am sorry for any upset I cause this morning?" Sam said, taking the hint that Josh didn't want to talk.

"Yeah, Sam it's great to see you and congratulations on little Joshua, but you can understand why we aren't jumping hoops for you."

"Yeah I can. You take care and give Donna a hug from me." Sam said before walking back down the stairs.

Josh walked back to the sofa, finding his wife in the same position as he had left her. Lifting her head and sliding in beside her his eyes closed and he fell back asleep again, dreaming of what could have been.

Neither of them heard the front door being opened by a key. Or the footsteps that led Rachel Lyman into their house. It was her first chance to get up from Florida since the tragedy of the week previous. She walked to the door of the living room and saw her children asleep on the sofa. Seeing their red-rimmed, puffy eyes, she thought best to leave them.

She started cleaning the destruction around her, guessing Donna had caused most of it. She couldn't even begin to think how her daughter-in-law as coping with what had happened to her. Yes Rachel had lost a child, but not in the way Donna had. Rachel had ten good years with Joanie. It was tragic how Joanie left the, but the way Donna had suffered, no woman should have to deal with it.

Donna started to come too; she could hear someone in her house. She could also see her mess from earlier had been cleaned. She had an idea of who was in her home, but went to find her. Walking through the house, she stopped when she realised what room door was open. The room neither she nor Josh had entered since before it had happened. Taking slow steps before reaching the doorway, she saw her mother-in-law standing by the crib fingering the blanket Donna had embroidered with their son's initials. "He was to be named Noah Josiah Lyman." Her voice startled Rachel from the daydream she had been in.

"Oh Donna." Rachel said as her daughter-in-law approached her. She watched as Donna lifted the blanket.

"He'll never get to sleep in it." And with that the floodgates opened again. Rachel was there to catch her this time. Donna collapsed on Rachel's shoulder and sobbed her heart out again. "Why did it happen? Why did I loose my baby boy?"

"I only wish I had the answers for you my girl." Rachel soothed. "Just know that no matter how much time passes, things will get better, you will never forget him, but it will get better."

"Promise?" Donna looked into Rachel's eyes, tears shimmering back at her.

"Promise." Rachel said wrapping her back into her arms again.