Summary: Just a little conversation between old friends over breakfast.
Disclaimer: Believe me, I wish Daniel Jackson was all mine to cuddle and love, but he's not, nor is the rest of the stargate franchise. I freely admit this in hopes that I shall not be sued.
Author's Note: Just a little something that hit me while watching the season 9 marathon on Scifi today. It's written entirely in dialogue because….I don't know, it just worked better that way for me.
"Since when do you put sugar in your coffee?"
"Sam, I always put sugar in my coffee. You're thinking of Jack."
"Am not. You never put sugar in your coffee."
"Do, too."
"Do not."
"Sam."
"Sorry. Anyway…what's going on with this?"
"With what?"
"This thing on your face, Daniel. The growth. Not sure it suits you."
"Sam, how many hairstyles have you gone through in the eight years I've known you?"
"Not that many."
"Enough of them."
"Okay, a few. But it's always been short."
"Still, you've changed your hair a few times, Sam. Am I not allowed to have a beard?"
"There might be something in regulations."
"I'm not military."
"I don't know, Daniel, it just doesn't…it doesn't work for me. I might not be able to finish my omelet."
"Fine."
"You'll shave?"
"No, but I'll take your sausage."
"Hey! Daniel!"
"Ow! Sam! You stabbed me with your fork!"
"You have other fingers."
"Yes, like this one."
"Daniel!"
"Ow! Stop kicking me or I'll take another sausage."
"I'll take off your hand first, Dr. Jackson."
"Oh, well, excuse me, Colonel Carter. You can stop laughing now. And let go of my wrist please, I need it to stab you with."
"Not until you agree to shave that monstrosity off your face."
"Sam –"
"Daniel."
"Let go."
"Shave."
"Sam, I swear to God – "
"Swear to me."
"…you saw Batman Begins, too?"
"Great movie."
"Why didn't you call me? I'd have gone with you."
"I was in DC."
"You were in DC? For what? Oh."
"Shut up."
"Let go of my hand and I won't say anything."
"Daniel."
"Sam and Jack, sitting in a tree, K – I – S – S – I – OWWW!"
"Serves you right, jackass."
"That was my kneecap!"
"It'll be something else if you don't shut the hell up."
"Sam! Let go. Please? I'm bigger than you and I don't want to hurt you."
"Daniel, who taught you how to fight?"
"Sam."
"Say it."
"You did."
"Who can still kick your butt in a fight, Daniel?"
"You can."
"Who's going to shave their god-awful beard?"
"No."
"Say it."
"OW! Sam, come on!"
"Say it."
"Fine. Fine! You win, I'll shave."
"See? That wasn't so painful was it?"
"Sam, you're not the one with a bruised kneecap, a fork puncture wound in their left index finger, and a thumb imprint in their right wrist. That one's gonna bruise."
"Here, you want my other sausage?"
"I hate you."
"I get that a lot. If it makes you feel better, I'll pay the tab."
"I want a smilie cookie for this. You owe me an Eat 'N Park smilie cookie. Why are you staring at me like that?"
"I can't believe you actually ascended. You're like a kid, you know that?"
"If I was still ascended I wouldn't need the damn cookie."
"Come on, let's go. I'm done with my omelet anyway. Did you finish all of your buffet?"
"I didn't get the buffet."
"The amount of food you ate, you could've fooled me. Are you pregnant, Daniel?"
"Very funny, Sam. But apparently I should ask the same question of you if you were – OW! Gah, you just had to get the other kneecap, didn't you?"
"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm leaving now, are you coming?"
"Oh, I'm so glad you came back from Prometheus, Sam. Really."
"You're funny, Daniel. Really funny. Come on, I'll help you shave that rainforest off your chin."
"No way in hell. You are coming nowhere near my face with any sharp objects."
"Fine. I'll get Vala to shave you."
"You wouldn't."
"Try me."