Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ but I do own Ding (much to his displeasure).

Author's Notes: Thank you one and all for your reviews, suggestions, and yes, even for the corrections. I'm sorry I haven't been writing as much but there is something far greater than all of us and it's called…life. A scary concept when life for me consists of endless days working but such is life. Another note worth mentioning, I'm sure I mentioned that the emerald had a biased opinion of the people in the series. I'm writing this story, not to pick on characters that have been unduly picked on, but merely for entertainment purposes. With that out of the way let's get on with the show!

Frozen Lake of Hell

Chapter 5

Now It Gets Interesting

The pigtailed martial artist stared out at the rapidly descending snow with a heavy sigh. He really wanted to know what had caused the unseasonable weather they were having. A blizzard spinning out of nowhere was not something he liked contemplating. The other thing he didn't care to contemplate was the fact that he was still a she, but that had little bearing on what was going on. Akane currently had her fiancé-turned-fiancée settled in her lap and was brushing out the neo-girl's surprisingly silky hair, humming serenely. Ranma had been waiting for the other shoe to drop even if her fiancée was smiling but when the worst she had to endure was getting her hair brushed, it confused the gender swapping martial artist.

"Ranma." Akane said softly to get the smaller girl's attention.

"Hmmm?" Ranma replied lazily. As much as she hated to admit it some things felt different when she was girl. One such thing was the strange bliss of having her hair brushed. It was strange how it seemed to lower her defenses and left her with such contentment.

"Are you wondering how I figured out about Ryoga?" she asked peacefully. Since the two of them had started to get along a little better, Akane discovered that spending quality time with Ranma was easier than it used to be. She still subconsciously preferred Ranma as Ranko because of the stupid Hentai Brigade. Girl-type Ranma was safer than male-type. Ranma stiffened in shock before a few more brush strokes soothed her again.

"Yeah I did…" she replied ruefully, but not with as much self loathing as she felt earlier.

"Well, it finally occurred to me that with all the strange things that go on around here and with P –chan's terrible sense of direction, well, I guess I finally put two and two together." Akane told the girl. To say that Ranma was thrilled would be an understatement. When the redheaded girl turned to look at her fiancée, her hair flowing freely, the normally violent middle girl had a single thought "kawaii." She noticed Ranma's shocked expression and came to the conclusion that she had accidentally said it out loud.

"A-Akane?" Ranma asked in confusion. The girl acted on impulse and kissed the startled girl, holding her in a gentle embrace. The neo-girl at first was set to freak out, but slowly relaxed. The sensation was so much better than getting her hair brushed or even ice cream. It ranked up there with Akane's smile but much better. As the two of them kissed the same thought went through their minds.

"This would be so much better with hot water."

-Elsewhere-

It was a bad day to be a piggy, thought Ryoga as he trotted down the snow filled street. Perhaps trotting isn't the right term, it looked more like he was leaping. The phrase "when pigs fly" would apply rather well in this instance due to the height of the jumps. Of all the people he expected to run into, he wasn't prepared to find Shampoo shoveling out the Nekohanten, preparing for business. She seemed to be unusually preoccupied today which made the Lost Boy curious about what was going on. Ryoga crept up cautiously on the bundled up Amazon girl before a strange sight suddenly made him stop again. It appeared to be a young man with silvery hair, trimmed short on the sides with wild, soft spikes of hair on top. His eyes were a deep red color and his skin was a dark tan color. He wore a black trench coat similar to the one that Ding was wearing, but unlike Ding this guy's aura reeked of evil. To an animal it was easy to see but to a human it might not be. Shampoo was a part-time cat which made it easier for her to detect the malevolence he radiated.

"Good day my dear. Is this fine establishment open for business?" he asked in pleasant tones, the neko-girl almost swooned before hissing suddenly. The noise visibly startled the man before he peered closer, clearly invading her personal space. He seemed to be peering into her soul. Shampoo wanted to cry, he was so terrifying!

"Ah…I see…Jusenkyo…well my dear, perhaps I can help you." He said with his oily tones only to have Shampoo respond with something definitely unladylike. The man recoiled from her with a snarl.

"You go. Shampoo no want strange man here." The Chinese Amazon managed to say through clenched teeth. It took all her self control not to run and hide behind her great grandmother. The man was growing furious.

"All I wished was to help you but I guess that's not possible is it? Fine then you stupid wench I'll teach you a lesson!" he snarled as he whipped out a silver hilted katana with a jet black blade. As the blade cleared the sheathe, he received a surprise.

"Bwee!" the piglet squealed in outrage as a glowing ball of ki formed in front of his snout, his eyes exploding with intense aura light. The Chinese girl dived to the side just in time to avoid the world's first pig Shi Shi Hokodan. The angry man watched in shock as the blast rocketed towards him.

"This is going to hurt." He muttered resignedly as the shot hurtled him across the street and through a building. Shampoo stared at her little rescuer with gratitude before spontaneously scooping him up.

"Oh thank goodness Lost Boy here to save Shampoo from mean man." She whimpered as she carried the startled porker indoors. He had no idea what he had just gotten himself into.

-outside of Ucchan's-

The stranger had recovered enormously fast as if the blast hadn't even hurt him. His twisted smile said at the memory of it was proof enough that it hadn't hurt at all. The force from such a technique was indeed impressive but not enough to harm the greatest terror that existed in the multiverse. Bordox Er-Elfin was not only the most feared in all the realms but a warrior without peer.

"That was certainly unique. An interesting technique, too bad only beasts seem to be able to use it." He lamented quietly. If he had known about Jusenkyo he wouldn't have dismissed the technique so quickly. However, the reason he was out was to seek something to eat. Even elves need to eat and this one had been running on next to no food for the past several weeks. If it hadn't been for that blasted Dragon he would have been the ruler of all he surveyed. Still, looking around the neighborhood he was currently in, he ruefully concluded that perhaps he didn't want to rule Nerima.

"The administrative problems would be sheer torture and such a high concentration of spiritual energy would certainly indicate a holy warrior of high caliber. If nothing else then to guard this bastion of untapped chaos." He concluded with a wise nod of his ancient head, even if he looked far from ancient. The delectable smells of okonomiyaki wafted out to him and the hungry conqueror of worlds decided that he absolutely needed the strange, but delightful smelling foodstuffs. As he entered the restaurant, an attractive waitress approached him with a smile on her cheerful face and led him to a booth. The sight of the rather bishounen young man flipping the food in question brought saliva to his mouth. He was glad for the complementary glass of water since it helped to keep him from drooling.

"What can I get you kind sir?" the waitress asked, flirting a little with her eyelashes.

"I will try the special." He said, not even looking at the menu. The pretty girl bowed to him as if he were an emperor before going to place his order. He decided as she sashayed away that when he took over, the first order of business would be to find a girl just like that girl. What was the chef calling her? Ahhh…lovely Konatsu.

"One special for table three Ukyo-sama." Konatsu said demurely as the effeminate ninja boy gave the brown-haired "bishounen lad" the order.

"Comin' right up." Ukyou Kuonji of the Okonomiyaki School of Martial Arts said as she poured the sauce on just right and liberally strewn the toppings on the sizzling Japanese pizza. In short order it was done and slipped onto a plate for the customer. When she got a look at their customer half of her wanted to drool and the other half wanted to melt into a puddle. She thought that only her Ranchan had that effect on her but it was obvious that he wasn't, not anymore at any rate. Konatsu had just delivered the food and it was clear that he was enjoying it. The poor man looked as if he was half starved, so the chef felt inclined to send another one his way on the house. Upon being informed of this, the man looked delighted and told the pretty kunoichi to thank the chef. His smile warmed her in strange ways. Another customer demanded her attention, and with a sigh, she went back to work.

Bordox was clearly flummoxed by this latest development. The delicious food he was consuming was divine and no mortal had a right to such godly fair, but he had to admit he was glad that it was available to mortals, because despite his indefinite life span, he was still mortal. When the second arrived from the chef, it was truly a pleasant experience indeed. With that single act of kindness he decided to hold off on conquering the world for another week or so. When it came time to leave, he left a tip for the waitress as well as the required money it should cost for a meal such excellent caliber. He left the shop with a lightened heart and decided that today was still an excellent day, despite the infernal blizzard.

When Konatsu saw what Bordox considered a tip and adequate pay the poor boy almost fainted dead away. The Mad Elf had left over one hundred and eighty coins. Gold coins.

End Chapter

Disclaimer: I'm sorry it took so long to bang out this chapter but such is life. I hope you enjoyed this installment and return for more. Next chapter will see more of the plot revealed and what the blizzard leads to. Get your cold weather gear as we take a tour of Nerima.